Naughty or Nice: A Friends to Lovers Christmas Romance

by Alexis Winter

  I frown as I look down at her sitting on the floor at my feet.

  “This is what my mom gave me, and I thought it was too good not to give you. You see, in the first picture, we’re angry with one another. But in the second, we’ve made up and are happy. The third picture taken fifteen years later, it’s the same. And the fourth. We’ve had a lifetime together, Carson. We’ve had our ups and downs. But we always overcome it and stay friends. I’ll never forget you. That, I can promise,” she says. It’s a sweet gesture, but the only word I can focus on is friends.

  I set the picture frame aside and get up. Everyone is looking at me now as I grab my coat and leave the house, slamming the door closed behind me. I get in the car and start the engine. I see her running out the moment I hit the gas and leave the house behind.

  I end up driving around aimlessly for a while. Then I find myself at the liquor store buying a bottle of tequila. Then I’m at the old farm road that I took Felicity to. I park on the side of the road and get out to sit on the hood. It hasn’t been that long since I was last here, but a lot has changed. I open the bottle and chuck the lid into the snow, knowing that I won’t need it. I’m not moving until this whole bottle is gone. The more I drink, the more comes into focus for me. I know I shouldn’t have left the way I did, but I didn’t have much of a choice. What I wanted to do was pull her against me and kiss her until I made her see clearly. I don’t know why she’s being such a pain in the ass about this. She loves me. I know she does. And I’ve known it somewhere deep in my soul before my brain even knew it. She’s loved me since we were kids. And it’s more than just in a friendly kind of way. If it wasn’t, we wouldn’t have fought against it our whole lives. I just have to make her see. How do I do that?

  Being winter, it gets dark early and it’s not long before I’m sitting out in the dark alone and cold. My cell phone has been ringing constantly in my pocket, but I keep ignoring it, not ready to talk to anyone yet. It’s crossed my mind a few times that I’m too drunk to drive home, but I push that thought away quickly. If nothing else, I’ll sleep in my car tonight. It’s not like there’s an Uber in this small town. God, I miss the city. Get shit-faced drunk anywhere there, and you’re safe as long as you can still work your phone. I’ve done that a few times too, usually because of her as well. The first time was when she told me some guy she had been dating proposed.

  “Hello?” I answer my phone as I sit at my desk at work. I look at the clock and see that it’s well past quitting time. It’s going on eight o’clock.

  “Carson?” It’s Felicity and she sounds excited.

  “Hey, sweetheart. What’s going on?” I ask, immediately smiling when I hear her voice.

  “Oh my God. You’re never going to guess.”

  “Guess what?”

  “I haven’t told anyone yet, but Ben proposed! Can you believe that? He asked me to marry him.”

  My blood runs cold. I can’t think. I can’t talk. All I can do is sit here with this information and let it take everything from me, my past, my present, my future.

  “Are you still there?”

  “Yeah, yeah, I’m here,” I stutter out.

  “Can you believe it?”

  “I’m sorry, I’m just…who’s Ben again?”

  “Ugh, Ben. The guy I’ve been dating for the last two years. Remember? I’ve sent you pictures of us.”

  “Oh, yeah,” I say, remembering the pictures because I cropped him out. “That’s…that’s some news,” I say, not knowing what to say.

  “Yeah, so what do you think? Should I say yes?”

  “You mean, you haven’t answered him yet?”

  “No, I told him I needed to think about it. I mean, we’re still so young, you know? What if we graduate and want different things?”

  “Yes! Exactly! You are too young. People…grow and change and, and, and want different things.”

  “I know. I’m just so taken off guard. I mean, we’re not even living together or anything yet.”

  “Right. God, what if you get married and find a million things you can’t stand. Like he doesn’t put down the toilet seat, or he leaves his face hair all over the sink? Or” And I only say this because I know how much she hates it when I do it. “Or what if he spits all the time.”

  “Ugh, I haven’t even thought of that yet. I mean, we really haven’t spent that much time alone together, you know. I mean, we’ve dated for a long time, but the most we’ve ever been together is what, a weekend?”

  “Exactly. I think this is something you need to think about long and hard. There’s no going back from something like this.”

  “I know,” she says, sounding like a child.

  “So, you’re going to think about this, right? You’re not just going to get off the phone and tell him yes?”

  “No, I’m going to think about it.”

  “Good girl,” I say, finally able to breathe. “Keep me updated.”

  “I will and thank you.”

  “For what?”

  “For everything.”

  There’s a long pause.

  “Bye, Carson.”

  “Bye, sweetheart.”

  I hear the phone click and the call ends. That’s when my panic begins.

  Seventeen

  Felicity

  I’m in shock when he gets up and storms out. What did I do wrong? I thought passing the gift along would be a good idea. I thought it would calm his fears of me never forgiving him. I thought it was an olive branch, especially after having the conversation we had in his room. I took it back. I took it all back. There’s nothing to fight over. Why is he acting this way?

  I get up and chase after him. He sees me, but it doesn’t stop him, and it feels like he just drove right over me. He’s never run from me before. He’s always run to me, whether to save me, hug me, or be friends with me. He’s never run the other way. Not until now, that is. I should have listened to him. We never should have slept together. Why didn’t I listen? For years, he wanted me as much as I wanted him, but he wouldn’t allow it in fear of ruining what we already had. But I wouldn’t listen. I took what I wanted and it’s ruined everything. I hate him about as much as I hate myself right now.

  I watch until his car is no longer visible from my place in the road, then I run back home instead of back to his house. I can’t show my face in there now. Not after all of this. I go home and fling myself onto my bed, tears rushing from my eyes. It doesn’t take my mom long to come and find me. She sits on the edge of the bed and rubs my back.

  “Are you ready to talk now?”

  I nod as I sob. “Carson and I slept together,” I admit.

  She nods. “I know. I’ve heard all about it. Everything from the Santa themed bra to the blanket fort.”

  My face blushes. “For years, I wanted him and he wanted me. But he would never go for it. He was afraid of ruining our friendship. But I kept pushing. I thought that if we slept together, I could get over him or that maybe it would make him see how great we could be.” I wipe my tears and she nods.

  “And then we did it and it was great. And then we kept doing it because it was so great, so much better than anyone else I’ve ever been with. It felt right, you know?”

  She nods, trying to keep up without getting disgusted from hearing all of this from her daughter.

  “Well, then he said he loved me.”

  She gasps. “Well, that’s what you wanted, right?”

  I nod. “I did, but not like that. Why couldn’t he tell me before? Why couldn’t he love me when it was just him and me. Why say it after I bend over backwards to sleep with him?”

  “Oh, honey,” she says, rubbing her hand up and down my back to soothe me. “Men are stupid. They say the worst things at the worst times, but I’ve come to learn, if they say it, it’s true. Don’t let the timing ruin this. He said it, that’s what matters.”

  “You really think so?”

  She nods. “Do you love him?”

  “I’ve always loved h
im, Mom. For as long as I can remember. It’s always been him. I knew it when I was seven years old and I still know it today.”

  “Then go to him. Forgive him. Be honest with your feelings before it’s too late. Trust me, bitterness, anger, and resentment can destroy you. That’s why your father left, you know? He broke my heart and I never could forgive him. He left before you were even born. It killed us, and I don’t want to see the same thing happen to you. Who cares if he didn’t say the words when you wanted to hear them. The point is that he said them.”

  I look up at her and know she’s right. I nod my head and dry my tears.

  “That’s my girl.”

  She leaves my room and that’s when I grab my phone and call him. The phone rings and rings and rings, but it always goes to voicemail. I wonder where he’s at, if he’s gotten himself into some kind of trouble, and I pray that he didn’t run to Big Boobs for comfort. There was once a day when he’d run to me, but that was before I chased him off.

  I wait and I pray, and I pray and I wait. I pace the floor back and forth in front of my window, waiting to see his car pull in the drive or waiting for his bedroom light to flicker on, but it never does and I end up falling asleep around four in the morning.

  The first thing I do when I wake up is rush to my window. His car still isn’t home and I’m getting more worried. But I tell myself that Carson has always been responsible. That he probably just had too much to drink and he stayed somewhere else so he didn’t have to drive home. I go for breakfast, coffee, and a shower. When I get out, I check again. Still no car.

  I feel like I can’t move on, not until I see him, talk to him, explain and tell him how sorry I am. I don’t leave my room. I sit and find things to keep my mind busy. I read old books, go through my old things, finding notes between me and Carson, and look through old yearbooks. I clean out some of the trash and finally start unpacking my boxes that got shipped from school. Every couple of hours, I look out my window, hoping and praying, but there is still no sign of him. I finally lose my patience and call his mom’s home phone.

  “Hello?”

  “Hi, it’s Felicity. Have you heard from Carson?”

  “I have, dear. He’s gone back to the city. Something came up at work and he needed to address it, but he’s still coming to the New Year’s party.”

  I let out a sigh of relief, knowing that he’s safe. “Are you sure? You don’t think he’ll blow it off, do you?”

  “I made him promise.”

  “Okay, thank you.”

  I hang up the phone and try calling him again, but there’s no answer.

  Almost immediately my phone dings.

  Carson: I’m sorry I’ve been avoiding your calls, but I’m just not ready yet. We’ll get over this, I know we will. I just need more time.

  Felicity: Please come to the party. I need to see you.

  Carson: I already told my mom that I will be there.

  Felicity: I know, but I know how you are.

  Carson: Felicity, I’m trying here. Please, just give me a break. I’m trying to give you what you asked for.

  Felicity: What I asked for? What did I ask for?

  Carson: Friendship. Just give me a few days, please. We’ll get there again.

  I let the phone fall from my hands, not knowing what to do. I don’t want to tell him over a text, but I can’t stand the thought of him going days without knowing that I love him too.

  The days pass slowly, too slowly, and I haven’t talked to Carson since. I want to give him what he asked for: time. Over the course of our friendship, I’ve asked him for a lot, and he always honored my wishes. So I’m trying to do the same. But damn, it’s hard. The days pass and finally New Year’s Eve approaches. The party is tonight and I have the perfect dress. I know exactly how I want to do my hair and makeup. Everything seems perfect except for the fact that I’m as nervous as can be. A lot can happen in a few days. He could’ve gotten back together with Big Boobs. He could have changed his mind about me completely, thinking that I’m not worth the effort anymore. I pray that none of that is true as I get ready for the party.

  The party is in the town square, at the big fancy banquet hall there. It started at seven, but it’s going on ten and I’m just now getting ready. I know, I suck, but fear was paralyzing me. I didn’t want to get up there and pour my heart out, just to have him turn me away. But then I knew that nothing would ever happen if I didn’t take the chance and put my heart on the line. So, I got up and started getting ready.

  I walk into the living room in my black dress. It’s long as it flows all the way to the floor. It’s fitted through the hips with a slit in the side all the way up to my hip. The dress has long sleeves and it’s a deep V neck, sexy but tasteful. It’s a dress I found years ago and begged my mom to buy for me. I’ve been saving it for the perfect moment ever since.

  When I walk into the living room, she gasps. “Oh, Felicity. It’s perfect,” she says, standing up to walk circles around me.

  “You think so?”

  She nods, speechless.

  “What about my hair?” I curled it into loose curls that are smooth and sleek and shiny. It hangs to my lower back.

  “Gorgeous.”

  “And my makeup? My eyes aren’t too dark or my lips too red?”

  She shakes her head. “No. It’s all perfect. You’re breathtaking, sweetie.”

  She hugs me lightly, careful not to smudge anything or wrinkle my dress. “Go, go get him.” She practically pushes me out the door.

  I borrow her car and drive to the town square. The place is already packed and crowded. It seems everyone in town is here. I have to park blocks away after circling around several times. Hiking in these shoes is not practical, but I do it. For him.

  I finally make it to the center of the square and notice a few kids still ice skating. The rink comes down the day after tomorrow and that always makes me sad. Just having it here makes the town feel magical. I have so many memories on that ice. I push past the ice rink and come to a stop at the window of the banquet hall. I look in and see the party I’m late for. There are chandeliers hanging high on the ceiling and gold and white everywhere. This is the only formal event our town has, and they spare no expense to make it as fancy as they can. The tablecloths are white and crisp, and there are big centerpieces. Everyone is dressed in formal dresses and tuxes and they all look so important as they stand around, drinking, talking, and laughing, while some couples dance.

  As I stare into the building, Carson comes into view. He looks handsome in his black tux and crisp white shirt. His hair looks perfect as usual and he’s shaved his jaw clean. He’s talking with a group of guys, holding a glass of scotch in his hand as he laughs at something they say. Watching him like this, I feel like a teenage girl again, dreaming of something I’ll never get. But tonight is different. I’m not a teenage girl. I’m a woman. A woman who he loves. And I’m not leaving here without him.

  I look at the clock as I enter. It reads 11:57 p.m. I know I have to hurry. I don’t want to start this next year without being able to call him mine. I rush through the throng of people and push my way through to him. When he sees me, it’s like everything freezes around us. He turns to face me and his eyes say it all. He’s in awe.

  “Bout time you got here, sweetheart. Where ya been?” he asks, his eyes moving up and down my dress.

  I smile. “Running late, as usual,” I tell him and he smiles.

  “You look beautiful.” He picks up my hand and kisses it, causing me to blush. He chuckles. “You always blush so easy. Care to dance?”

  I shake my head. “Not yet. There’s something I have to tell you first.”

  He waits and I work up the courage. “I didn’t mean it.”

  He frowns. “Mean what?”

  “That I wanted to take it all back. I don’t want to take it back. Those couple of days I spent with you, it was the happiest I’ve ever been.”

  Everyone starts to count down to midnight.


  “I love you, Carson. I’ve loved you since I met you and I will love you until the day I die. I don’t want to take it all back. All I want is you.”

  “Three,” everyone yells as I wait for his answer.

  “Two!”

  “One!”

  He pulls me against him and our lips meet. He kisses me hard but slow, a lasting kiss that may just have to last me a lifetime if he’s changed his mind. My hands move up to wrap around his neck to hold him to me, not ready to let him go yet. His hand finds my hip and he pulls me against his chest until there’s not even a millimeter between us.

  Everyone cheers as the bell rings, indicating midnight. He pulls back with a smile. “I love you too, sweetheart.”

  I smile. “You do? You forgive me?”

  “There was nothing to forgive. I’ve been in love with you since my eyes landed on you and I never stopped. I’ve waited for you, Felicity. I’ve hoped and prayed for you. I’ll never give up on you.”

  I’m so excited I don’t know what to say, so I don’t say anything. Instead, I just pull him back against me for another long, slow kiss.

  I giggle as he trips on my dress and causes us to fall into his bedroom door at his mom’s house. “Shhhh,” I say around a giggle that he silences with his lips on mine. He manages to get the doorknob turned, but he’s still standing on my dress when he tries to take a step. The weight of him on the fabric causes me to fall downward, which in turn, causes him to fall forward. We both laugh, landing in a pile on the floor.

  “What in the world?” his mother says, rushing out of her bedroom in her night coat. The hall light flicks on as she looks down at us on the floor, laughing our asses off. “Oh, it's just you two numbskulls.”