Hesitate

by Brooks, Anna

  I’m almost ready. I just wanted to run the straightener through my hair and needed to decide on which shoes to wear. I’d already heated the iron, so that only takes a couple of minutes to run through my already straight hair. After spraying some volume booster into my roots, I go to my closet to choose which shoes to wear.

  My eyes land on my silver sandals that have a cork wedge heel, so I pick those up by the straps, but then remember I have a pair of flats that are white with a stripe the same color as my shirt along the bottom edge.

  Undecided, I put one of each on and turn to the side and look into my full-length mirror. I turn the other way and scream when I see Q standing at the door of my closet, leaning on the jamb with his ankles crossed.

  “Sorry.”

  “It’s okay. Which ones do you like better?” I know he’s going to pick the heels. What guy wouldn’t?

  “Flats.”

  My head rears back. “Really?”

  “Um, yeah. Those other ones are hot as fuck, even though anything you wear is, but there is no way those damn things are comfortable. I don’t want your feet hurting all night, so wear the flats.”

  I want to ask him if he’s real, but he’s so close that I can smell him, so I know he’s not a figment of my imagination. “Okay.” And he further shocks me when he takes a step into my closet, crouches down, slides his finger down my leg, and unstraps my sandal. His hand trails up my thigh until he’s fully standing, then he leans past me and sets the wedge on the shelf next to its match and grabs the other flat. I expect him to hand it to me or drop it on the floor, but he crouches down and holds it out while I slide my foot in. Like freaking Cinderella. “Thanks.”

  At his full height, I have to look up at him as he drops his head to look into my eyes. “My pleasure. You ready now?”

  “Yes.”

  He tilts my chin up and runs his thumb across my bottom lip. “Then let’s go, baby.”

  I like how he pretty much takes over and locks my door for me, tucking my keys in his pocket, and pushing the outside door open for me to walk through while his hand remains on my lower back. He helps me in his car and then gets in and drives away, not asking me where I want to go but pulling up in front of my favorite hole in the wall restaurant. “You ever been here?” he asks as he shifts into park.

  “Only about once a week for every week that I can remember.”

  He grins. “Excellent.”

  I wait for him to come around to my side, and since I’m a regular here, the hostess, Rebecca, waves her fingers at me. “Hey, Maddy.”

  “Hi.”

  “Two?” she asks as she pulls out the menus.

  “Yeah.”

  Her smile stretches across her mouth when she looks at Q’s hand holding mine. I’ve never come here with a man before. “Right this way.”

  We follow her to the back, and when she points at a booth, I slide in and am shocked when Q sits next to me. Rebecca bites her lip and sets the menus in front of us. “Andy will be your server, and he’ll be here shortly.”

  “Thanks.”

  She disappears, and I actually have to scoot a little bit away from Q so I can turn my head and look at him when he asks, “You know her?”

  “I’m a regular.”

  “Ah. I’ve only been here a couple of times. What do you normally get?”

  This place has a little bit of everything. “Best street tacos I’ve ever had, most delicious burger, and their pizza has won awards. You can’t go wrong with anything on the menu. But I usually get the tempura battered chicken tenders off the kid’s menu.”

  He raises a brow in amusement. “Seriously?”

  “Don’t judge me. They’re so good. And they make a homemade honey mustard that I’d bathe in if I could.”

  Q opens his mouth, but nothing comes out because we’re interrupted by our waiter. “Maddy cakes. How are you, beautiful?” The light-heartedness of Andy’s greeting is totally lost on Q because his jaw slams closed, and he turns his head in slow motion.

  Andy swallows loudly. “Uh. Hey. I’m Andy.”

  “Q.”

  “Cool, uh, can I get you guys something to drink? Maddy ca… can I get you your usual?”

  Q turns and looks back at me. “What’s your usual?”

  “Moscato,” Andy unhelpfully supplies.

  The super sharp jawline of Q turns razor, and he does that slow head turn again. “Wasn’t askin’ you, man.”

  Andy shifts on his feet, and Q keeps an eye on him, but asks me, “What do you want to drink, Madeline?”

  “Water’s good, actually.”

  “Make it two. And her chicken things and a burger, medium rare, add bacon, no fries but veggies if you have them. Don’t care what kind or how they’re cooked.”

  After Andy jots down the order, he grabs the menus and scurries away. I don’t know why, but I feel the need to stick up for him since Q seems so irritated by his joking nature. “He just—”

  “I don’t care what he just. I’m sitting at a table with my woman. No man thinks it’s okay to come up and greet you with a fuckin’ nickname and call you beautiful. No goddamned way, Madeline. It’s disrespectful as fuck.”

  “But it—”

  “Not to you. To me.” He reaches up and takes hold of my neck, drawing me close enough to brush our noses. “Don’t worry about it, sweetheart.”

  A clunk on the table makes me jump, and I turn my head to see Andy dropping off our waters. “Food’ll be up shortly.” He takes off without another word, and as I reach for my water, I catch Q’s victorious grin out of the corner of my eye.

  Chapter 6

  Q

  Dinner was really good, and I have to admit she’s right. That chicken she gets rocks. We ate rather quickly and are now walking through downtown, looking at the window displays and talking about where we can go to eat next. She stops at a Thai restaurant and throws her thumb over her shoulder. “I will never step foot inside that place again.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because they almost killed me.”

  My fingers that are intertwined with hers tighten, and she tries to pull them away. “Shit. Sorry.” I relax them and look over her head inside the small restaurant that’s nearly deserted. “What happened?”

  “I’m being dramatic. I got coconut in my meal, and I’m allergic to it, by the way.” I knew that. “It took two days for the hives to go down. It sucked. I know not every restaurant can accommodate allergies, but it’s never happened before anywhere else. I don’t want to risk them being careless again.”

  “Don’t blame you.”

  She gives my arm a little tug, and we continue our stroll. “Are you allergic to anything?”

  “Nope.”

  “Lucky.”

  “I am, but not because of that.”

  Her head rests on my shoulder when she asks, “Why are you lucky?”

  “Because I’m on a second date with the most beautiful girl in the world.” Her breath stalls in her lungs. We stop walking, and I lift my free hand and rake my fingers through the back of her hair, tilting her head up. Bending down, I kiss her. Softer than I’d like and way shorter than I want, but it gets my point across.

  When I slide my hand down and cup her ass, I lift my head, and her eyes are sparkling and her cheeks are pink. “It’s actually our third if you count the club.”

  “Smartass.” When I give her a playful swat, she giggles, and I swear to God that sound ignites something inside me that’s never been alive before.

  This is getting dangerous. Really dangerous. Not only because of what I’m feeling for her, but because for the past five minutes I’ve been so focused on her that I haven’t been vigilant to our surroundings. Someone could have come up behind me, and I wouldn’t even hear them. And I need to keep my eyes opened because if Roxy were to show up and see me with Madeline, that would be catastrophic.

  When I have to break the news to Madeline, I want to do it on my own time, and I need to do it gently so she u
nderstands.

  I need to get us back to her apartment. Fast. “Let’s go back home.”

  “Okay.” Our fingers are still intertwined, but she uses her free hand to hold my forearm, getting even closer to me.

  Yeah.

  Dangerous.

  Either she can’t tell I’ve had a sudden change in demeanor, or she just doesn’t mention it. The ride home is mostly silent, and when we get inside her apartment, she tosses her purse and keys on the kitchen table.

  “Do you want anything to drink at all?”

  “Water would be good.”

  She opens the fridge to grab me a bottle, but then shuts the door. “I’m out of bottled. Is tap okay?”

  “I think I’ll survive.”

  She rolls her eyes and grabs a glass, then when she turns the faucet on, water sprays out and hits her in the face. “Shit.” She quickly shuts it off. “I forgot about that.”

  I walk over to her and hand her the towel that was hanging on the oven. “Thanks. Sorry, I’ll go to the bathroom sink to get you something to drink.”

  “I’m fine, but what’s wrong with your faucet?”

  “I don’t know, but it’s been like that for a while. The landlord never sends someone to fix it like he says he’s going to.”

  “Let me look at it.”

  I’ve seen a lot of looks on her pretty face, but the surprise elation is a new one. “Really?”

  “Yeah, not a big deal.”

  “Okay, thanks.”

  I pat her thigh to get her to move, then mess with her kitchen sink for a second, then open the cupboard below to take a look as well. It’s soaking wet down here, so I shut the water off. “Do you have some towels? I need to dry this up.”

  “Shit, it’s wet there? I didn’t even think to look.”

  “I just shut the water off. I’ll have it fixed tomorrow, okay?”

  She closes a cabinet and hands me several small towels. “How can you do that?”

  “Don’t worry about it.” After getting the puddles cleared, I go to the bathroom to wash my hands, then join her where she’s sitting on the couch.

  “Thank you for looking at it.”

  “It’s really not a big deal, sweetheart.”

  “It is to me.” She turns her body and leans toward me. “So thank you.” Then she kisses my cheek. I should pull back. Should leave her right now before this goes any further, but she smells so good, and she tasted good, and there’s only so much a man can take. But I don’t leave.

  Our lips crash together, and our hands are frenzied. She straddles me, and I grunt when the heat of her pussy warms my already stiff cock. I don’t know how it happens so quickly while also being painfully slow, but she kisses me deep as she grinds herself against my dick. I dig my fingers into her thighs when she quivers and jerks above me. Fuck, she’s so damn hot. “God.” Her eyes are closed, her head is tossed back, and her breath stutters as she climaxes. I wish I had installed cameras in her place so I could watch that over and over again. What I wouldn’t give to feel her pussy tightening around my cock right now. “I… damn.” She tilts her chin to her chest, and her forehead falls against mine as the tremors slowly leave her body. Our breaths mingle, and my fingers loosen their grip as I start running them gently across her back.

  Jackass waiter aside, tonight was awesome. She wasn’t happy with the way I handled Andy, but there was no way I was gonna let some douche think he could walk up to a table I was at with my girl and call her beautiful right in front of my face. No damn way.

  But after that, it was perfect. I never would have thought that just walking with someone with no purpose other than to spend time together would be so damn amazing. The more I’m with her, the more I just straight up like her. She’s cute and sweet and funny, and she makes it really difficult to concentrate on keeping her safe when all I want to do is everything that I shouldn’t.

  Somehow, I found myself sitting in the middle of the couch and her riding my cock, but our jeans were an irritating and unwelcome barrier between us.

  I haven’t done that since high school, but with Madeline, it’s exactly how it should be. She should get off however she needs, and I should sit here with a fucking metal rod in my pants for crossing the line I never should have crossed.

  I’m so fucked.

  But only in the figurative sense of the word.

  I’m supposed to be protecting her, not getting her off. That’s way too much of a distraction. I know better. I fucking know better, but the thought of freeing my dick and sinking inside her right now almost has me coming in my pants.

  I need to get the hell out of here.

  Just not quite yet. Once I make sure she’s good, I will.

  I bring my hands up to her face and push some stray hairs off it, and then hold it as I rub my thumbs along her jaw. “You good?”

  She sighs with a nervous smile. “Yes.”

  “Good.”

  “But, uh… I should…” She wriggles against my lap, and I hide the groan that’s in the pit of my stomach.

  After reluctantly shaking my head, I pull her off me and stand. Her eyes go to the bulge in my pants, and if I wasn’t so fucking turned on right now, I’d laugh. “Tonight was about you. And the next time I see you, it’ll be about you then, too. And it’ll be like that for a while ’cause I want you to know I want you for more than sex, especially with how this all started. But until then, I want to make you feel good, and I’ll enjoy every second of giving it to you, okay?”

  She presses her lips to a flat line and nods. “Okay.”

  “I’d kiss you again, but I’m afraid I wouldn’t be able to stop.” I cup her jaw and rub the apple of her cheek with my thumb. “Night, sweetheart. Lock up after me.”

  I walk away without looking back because I’m legit afraid that if I do, I won’t be able to resist her pull. And I can’t stay. I can’t. Opening the door to my apartment next to hers, I barely have one foot in before my phone rings. I slide it out of my pocket and chuckle to myself when I see who it is.

  “You couldn’t let me take a piss first?” I joke with Erik, hoping he doesn’t sense the tension in my voice.

  “I got the notification your door was opened and wanted to make sure all was good.”

  I flick the deadbolt. “Of course it is. How are things on your end?”

  “Good. I just wanted to touch base. There’s nothing credible so far, but we’re not taking any chances. Brodie’s all over it… we all are. If this turns bad, and we were the ones who led this bitch to her…” He doesn’t need to finish that sentence because I know exactly what he’s going to say. We fucked up. I fucked up. “Just keep close to her.”

  He has no idea. “Of course.” I take my wallet out of my jeans and toss it on the kitchen table along with my keys.

  “She on to you at all?”

  No, but she was just on me. “Nah. She has no idea.” I hike up my jeans at the leg and unclip my Glock and set that on the table, too. And then I switch sides and grab the knife strapped there to do the same.

  “Good. Keep it that way.”

  “No offense, but no shit, Erik. Nothing’s gonna happen to this girl.”

  He takes a second to reply. “You like her,” he accuses.

  “No, I don’t.” I answer too fast.

  He chuckles. “Your job is to keep her safe. Do what you’ve gotta do, but Tanner?”

  Dammit, I hate it when people use my real name. Everyone assumes my full name is Quinten, but it’s not. I just go with it when people ask because my real name sounds like a dog’s name, and I’ve always hated it. “Yeah?”

  “There’s no way in this scenario that she doesn’t get hurt one way or the other. Just remember that you’re the shinier turd in a pile of shit.” His voice holds humor, but the message is clear.

  Dammit. “I got you.”

  “Good. We’ll keep you posted, but you keep doing your thing and keep her safe.”

  “I will.”

  He hangs up, and
I head straight to my fridge where I grab a bottle of water. Then I sit on my couch and open my laptop and pull up her file.

  I scroll through her history again, making sure I’m not missing anything and refreshing my mind of things I already knew. I get to the end, then I go back to the beginning and do it once more.

  Chapter 7

  Madeline

  I never would have thought that just being in the same room as someone else could be so consuming, but with Q, it’s everything. I can’t explain it. I don’t want to. The past few weeks have been amazing with him. If someone would be able to capture our time together in an image, it would be said what’s between us is picture perfect. A storybook romance. The things movies are made of.

  And not because of me. It’s all him. He’s as close to a dream man as anyone could ever be. He’s attentive to my needs in absolutely every aspect. He says the right things and goes above and beyond all day, every day… and even at night. He manages to give me more when I’m sleeping in my bed next to him than anybody else ever has even when I’m screaming in their face, telling them what I need.

  I’m so glad I went with my instincts and agreed to dinner the night after the club incident. And on our third night together, when he followed me to my bed to go to sleep, it wasn’t even discussed because it didn’t need to be. He belonged next to me, and I love his strong arms around me while I sleep.

  He’s proven me right in all that matters, and instead of it being just under a month, it honestly feels like it’s been way longer.

  We simply fit together.

  He works from his apartment that he’s barely at anymore unless I’m not home. Because if I’m there, he is, too. He’s brought his laptop at night and on the weekends to get work done and be close to me at the same time.

  Since his schedule is so flexible, he’s been driving me to and from work, and I love that he waits for me every day, leaning against his car with a sexy grin. We’ve been going to the gym together, too. And I would have thought that being with him so much would be too much, but it’s not. In fact, when I’m at work, he’s all I can think about. He’s spent every night in my bed for over two weeks, and I wouldn’t want it any other way.