His Name Is Legion

by Michael Todd

  Lucifer lifted his eyebrows. “Sure. No one really ever does.”

  Baal nodded. “What will you do with Lilith when you have her here? At this moment, she seems to be the complete opposite of who she was before.”

  Lucifer shrugged. “That is a complicated question, my dear slave Baal. Love is a complex thing. Infatuation and lust can be even more so, especially with someone as blatantly stubborn as her. There are two sides to this fence. Maybe I want to torture her for a thousand years, showing her that no one leaves this kingdom. Or maybe I want to bed her and show her the same thing, just with different tools. I know she would prefer the second option.”

  A smirk came to Baal’s face, and he looked away. Lucifer noticed, though and he laughed. “Why, Baal, you find me amusing?”

  Baal shook his head. “No, my Lord. I find the idea of love amusing. Love is apparently so powerful that even our king is not immune to it.”

  Lucifer grinned. “I suppose you are right, Baal. Not even I am immune to it. Whatever I end up doing with her, I know for sure that I just want Lilith back…preferably in one piece, but I can work with several if it’s necessary.”

  Pandora and Katie walked next to each other, finding the giants even more brazen than before. They whistled and commented as Katie and Pandora passed them. Pandora took Katie’s hand, squeezing it tightly. “Take a deep breath. We could handle these idiot pricks, but I think talking to Juntto is more important.”

  Katie nodded, trying to let their blatant disrespect go. “Right. We need to make sure he isn’t reverting back to his old self. That is what is most important right now.”

  Pandora nodded. “Exactly. Eyes on the prize, and those jerks can just be extra treats.”

  Katie chuckled. “I can’t believe I am thinking like you these days. Usually I am the one who calms you down.”

  Pandora shrugged. “Sometimes you have to swallow your own crazy and help your main bitch out. What good would it be if both of us were completely whacked out of our minds?”

  They could see Juntto lounging beneath a tent, eating fruit. They hurried forward but stopped short when two frost giant guards stepped in front of them. “If you are going to speak to him, you will have to kneel.”

  Pandora smiled and walked up close to his face. “If I kneel, I’m going to put your nuts in a meat grinder. So fuck off.”

  The giant laughed for a moment before he looked her in the eyes, seeing that she was dead serious. He slowly stepped out of the way. Pandora smirked and patted him on the chest. “Good choice.”

  They approached Juntto, who looked up and smiled at them. “Fruit?”

  Katie shook her head, crossing her arms over her chest. “No, thanks.”

  Pandora nodded at the chair. “So you’re a king?”

  “I am,” Juntto replied.

  Katie lifted her eyebrows. “With an army.”

  Juntto bit into an apple. “The most powerful army in the world.”

  Katie pursed her lips and tilted her head to the side. “And, king, what exactly are you planning on doing with the most powerful army in the world?”

  Juntto tossed the core over his shoulder and slumped to the side, staring out at the giants. He looked extremely bored, which surprised Katie. She figured he would be reveling in his newfound fame.

  Juntto closed one eye and pretended to squish the giants with his fingers. “Ask them to subscribe to my YouTube channel, then send them home.”

  Katie and Pandora looked at each other, surprised. Juntto sat up. “This planet is not big enough for all these assholes, and I am pretty sure that if I let them stay, Pandora would go through their toxic masculinity like the plague.”

  Pandora snapped her fingers. “Damn fucking straight I would.”

  Juntto groaned and stood up, stretching his arms over his head. “So, let’s get this show on the road. You guys got the portals?”

  Katie nodded. “Of course. We got this.”

  Katie and Pandora went to work building a large enough portal for the frost giants to easily get through. Luckily for them, they got the dimension right the first time around. Juntto made an announcement, thanking them for their help and giving them instructions on what to do when they got back. They would need a leader, but they were to choose wisely. “Make the decision from not only honor and valor, but from your hearts as well. Lead with your hearts, and your kingdom…our kingdom…will flourish. Thank you for the honors bestowed, and please take that asshole with you. Earth doesn’t want him.”

  Kraggen yelled as they tossed him through the portal, still chained. Juntto put both of his hands up, making peace signs. “And smash that Follow button for my show!”

  The giants lined up, not wanting to go back but knowing they didn’t have a choice. Korbin and the guys lined up at the portal, making sure to shake each of their hands as they stepped through. They wanted them to know they were truly thankful for what they had done for Earth, even if they were only doing it for Juntto.

  Standing back, they watched the last of them go through, each carrying a box of tequila with them. There was no way they were going to go back to frost hell without that amazing liquor to keep their huge bodies warm—and their wives happy all night long. The humans couldn’t help but laugh.

  24

  To think that Pandora, Katie, or the guys would actually allow all of the tequila to be taken was seriously a laugh. When the giants began taking it, Katie had motioned to Pandora, who had motioned to Sean, who used his lap and chair as a wheelbarrow to hide as much as they could. It was a team effort, which was good, since it would also be a team effort to drink it all. Not a single person was complaining.

  Pandora came out of a tent carrying several bottles and began passing them around. “Take a shot, pass it around, ninety-nine bottles of tequila going down!”

  Everyone was going to do a shot. Well, more like shots, plural. Once they got going, the excitement of the success of their mission was almost overwhelming. Katie stood next to Pandora as she passed out bottles. “Do you think everyone is so excited because they all thought, somewhere in their minds, that we would fail?”

  Pandora shook her head. “No. I think it’s because everyone was afraid that we would fail. Fear can definitely sober you up.”

  Pandora handed Katie a full bottle and took one for herself. She hopped up on top of the boxes and raised the bottle. “Holy shit, people, we succeeded! For one more day, we kept the Earth safe.”

  Everyone cheered. Pandora whistled for a moment, swaying with her bottle. “First and foremost, and in every sarcastic way we can imagine, take a shot in honor of KING JUNTTO!”

  The whole group lifted their shot or bottle and cheered in unison. Juntto laughed and jumped up and down in excitement. Pandora took a shot and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. “Next, to the FROST GIANTS! You big blue assholes were more than a bit useful.”

  Again, everyone cheered and took a shot. Pandora hopped down, and Turner climbed up. “We didn’t get to see this, but we have to say, a shot to the empty crystal dimension that’s now a prison!”

  Cheers, screaming, and guzzling of tequila.

  Eddie jumped up with Turner. “And last, but definitely most important. Without Sean, and his lame legs, we would not be enjoying this delicious tequila. It would all be freezing in the snow hell that is Juntto’s home. So, everyone down a shot to Sean’s sweet-ass wheelchair!!”

  Sean got the biggest cheer of all, everyone breaking out into conversation, laughter, and even song after that. Katie and Pandora high-fived Sean and shook their heads at Eddie and Turner as they attempted to race the tequila bottle. They lasted all about three seconds on that one.

  The phone in Katie’s pocket began to buzz, and she pulled it out. Looking at the number, she nudged Pandora and flipped her head to get them over to where it wouldn’t be as noisy. They made their way over and Katie answered, putting it on speakerphone. “This is Katie and Pandora.”

  “Whoop!” Pandora yelled out, taki
ng a swig of the tequila.

  The general laughed. “Sounds like a real party out there. Good thing you hid some of that tequila.”

  Katie narrowed her eyes. “Are you spying on us?”

  “What good are satellites if you can’t use them to see what your favorite mercs are up to?” He chuckled.

  Pandora giggled. “I’ll make sure to leave my curtains open…farther.”

  “I do draw the line at some things,” he replied.

  Pandora wrinkled her nose. “Ah, too bad. At least all this nightmare is over, and now we can move on to the next stupid crisis.”

  “Wellll…” the general replied.

  Katie’s face dropped. “Oh, man.”

  He tried to calm her anxiety. “Not to worry. It is not anything as insane as what you just pulled off. And congrats for that, by the way.”

  Katie and Pandora high-fived. “Thanks. So, what is this new situation?”

  “There’s still a dangling thread in this whole thing,” the general replied. “I hate that we didn’t address this earlier, since it would have been a lot simpler. But Powell, the one using Timothy’s program, had a partner, and that partner, Xian, was actually the one to fully figure out the system. The problem is, he is still out there. He stormed off when Powell refused to take things seriously.”

  Timothy typed quickly on a keyboard, moving from one to another. He had a vendetta against this Xian guy, and he was determined to track him down. The dungeon seemed almost too quiet that day, and he was glad that some more intel had come up on the case. He wanted every last bit of it taken care of and gone—not only for him, but for Sean too. He knew that until it was all resolved, Sean wasn’t going to be able to move past it. Not on that base, at least.

  “What are you doing?” Stephanie asked, leaning over his shoulder.

  He glanced at her and then at the computer. “Right now, I am running as many searches as I possibly can, everything from his name to his handles on his social media accounts. Anything that will tell us where we can specifically find him.”

  “Does it come up with different people?”

  Timothy scooted forward a bit. “Sometimes, of course, especially with how much the internet has grown over the years. People put weird words on all kinds of stuff. But the info I just got will make it a bit easier.”

  Stephanie followed him, her body touching the back of his chair. He cleared his throat and shifted himself in his chair, but she wasn’t catching on. “Honey, do you need to stand over my shoulder like that? I mean, I love you and all that jazz, but I can seriously feel the rumbling of your stomach right now. Have you eaten lately? I am telling you, ‘Ethiopian child’ is not coming back into style. It is all about loving your body.”

  Timothy got up and walked fast around the room, pulling papers from the printer, flipping through one of the binders he had made, and coming back over to type something else into the computer. Stephanie stepped back and crossed her arms over her chest. She watched him run back and forth, back and forth.

  “First of all, yes, I am eating,” she replied. “Secondly, honey, you are running around like a chicken with its head cut off. I think this is the second time I have ever seen you sweat.”

  Timothy gasped, touching his forehead and sliding into his chair. He pulled out a compact and began patting his forehead, chin, and around his nose. “I cannot handle a shiny face. That is just off-limits.”

  Stephanie put her hand on his shoulder. “Then slow down.”

  Timothy dropped his hands in his lap. “I am trying, dammit. I spend all my time in this dungeon alone. I have to get things done, and there are really no distractions, so I just speed around doing things.”

  Stephanie pursed her lips and gave him a look. Timothy sighed and turned toward the screen, watching the system do its job. “Fine. I was used to having Sean wheeling around and getting in the way. He was always here making me scuff my leather shoes and forcing me to stub my toes. It really was a huge pain, but now that it’s gone…I don’t know. I just try to pass the time to get out of the silence of the place. Not to mention, I redecorated for him, and now I just have all this handicap space. It’s like being forced to use the handicapped stall in the store. You feel awkward, and there is far too much room.”

  Timothy put both hands on the keyboard and added a few more search parameters to the information that was coming back, then swiveled his chair back around. “So anyways, it’s just fucking weird being here all alone like this. I tried talking to myself, but I am not the greatest conversationalist. I agree with myself far too often to satisfy my argumentative side.”

  Stephanie tried to hide her smile, but she couldn’t. She hurried over and put her arms out, bending down and hugging him tightly. “Aww. You miss him.”

  Timothy tapped her shoulder, grimacing. “No. I miss…cripples. So easy to feel superior.”

  Stephanie pulled back. “You can admit it to me. I understand.”

  Timothy rolled his eyes. “No. I don’t even miss…”

  The computer alarm sounded, and Timothy spun back around. He hit a few keys, and then one more to bring the information up on the screen. “We found something.”

  Katie and Pandora stepped out of the portal into an alternate dimension. They kept low as they moved in, trying to be sneaky. The last thing they wanted was to accidentally open a portal into the crystal dimension and end up releasing Legion all over again.

  Pandora stood up and pouted at her former favorite universe, where everything was gorgeous and hot people were walking all around naked. One guy with perfect abs jogged by them, winking at Pandora. Her lip started to quiver. “No donuts. They don’t like…”

  Katie quickly opened another portal and pulled Pandora through.

  The portal opened fast and Katie stumbled through, pulling Pandora along behind her. She released her hold on the portal and let it slam shut behind them. Katie turned to Pandora and grabbed her by the shoulders. “I know you’re struggling, but I need you to hold it together, at least for right now. I’m sorry we ended up there, but Xian needs to be found. Okay?”

  Pandora took a deep breath through her nose and nodded, trying to keep her lip from sticking out. Katie pulled up the address the general had sent them. “All right, this is where we need to go. It’s in the city, so I think the best thing would be to catch a cab so we aren’t seen walking around. I don’t want to fly until we get to the complex. Hopefully, this city has transportation like that.”

  Pandora snorted. “It’s Singapore. You can pretty much just pluck people off the street and ask them to carry you, and for the right price, they will!”

  Katie and Pandora moved out of the alley and out into the busy street. Pandora put her hand up, and several cars and a bike-pulled carriage stopped. They looked at each other and then climbed into the carriage, figuring it might help people ignore them pulling up in front of the complex.

  Once they were situated, Katie glanced at Pandora. “I really think you are too hung up on that place to not be part of it. I was always told, no matter how scary it was, no matter how many times I had to move things around to make something happen, I should never let a good thing get away from me. It’s a really good way to have regrets.”

  Pandora nodded, looking sad. “But that’s a really big thing. I mean, no donuts? How can they believe they have lived a full life without the amazing wonder of the hole-punched dough of God?”

  “I know what you are talking about.” Katie sighed. “You want that perfect place, but you’ve been here longer than I have. Is anything perfect? Or as humans, will we always find something wrong with everything? I just think it’s unhealthy to expect that we will find something we love and it will not have any imperfections.”

  Pandora groaned. “But, donuts! Donuts. How can I find a place like that and consider spending my free time there, and not be able to go down the street and grab a donut? How can I look myself in the mirror without finding crumbs between my tits?”

  Katie wri
nkled her nose. “That’s kind of gross, I won’t lie. Nonetheless, we both have lived in times where we don’t know if there will be a tomorrow. We still live that life. We still wake up each morning wondering in the backs of our minds whether we will die by the next morning. At first, it was traumatic, and I just wanted to be normal, to not feel scared or sad. But then I came to my own conclusion, pushing my emotions back. Do you know what that is?”

  Pandora slowly looked at her. “That you should never be a therapist?”

  Katie rolled her eyes. “No. I learned that if I want something, I need to just go after it. And that is what you should do, too.”

  Katie turned her head away and put her hand to her mouth, emotions surging through her. Pandora felt bad for bringing all of that up, seeing at that point that the things she was talking about didn’t just go for her. They went for Katie, too. Pandora wondered if those emotions were attached to Brock. If they were, then she was in love with him, something Pandora knew would be extremely scary for her. But at that moment, in a bicycle carriage bouncing all over, it was not the time or the place for it. So instead, she reached over and squeezed Katie’s hand.

  The carriage came to a stop in front of an older apartment building on the outskirts of the city. It wasn’t dingy or dirty since it was Singapore, but it should have been. There were bars on the front windows, even ten floors up. Katie pulled some money out of her pocket and gave the driver a generous tip, and she waved and smiled as he left. As soon as he was around the corner, though, she dropped both the wave and the smile and turned toward the building.

  Pandora sniffed. “It smells like a cross between body odor, trash cans, and Chinese food. I don’t like this at all.”

  Katie nodded, walking around the corner and finding the fire escapes. She looked up and then back down at her phone, counting up to the seventh-floor window. Pandora walked up next to her. “Is this the right side of the building?”