Big on Education

by Laurie Ames

  Now as she sat in the hospital room, that same awful feeling was coming back to her. She tried to steady her breathing. One, two, three, four, she counted. Her heart continued hammering in her chest.

  “Amanda?” She heard her mother’s voice behind her.

  She turned and forced a smile, trying to pretend she was strong and unaffected.

  Her mother came in and sat beside her, taking her hand.

  “I can’t believe he might not make it,” her mother said after a long silence.

  “I know,” Amanda said back.

  “It seems like it was just yesterday that your father and I met for the first time when I came to Seattle for vacation in college.”

  Amanda turned to face her mother.

  “Oh dear, I’m sorry. One day you’ll fall in love too, Amanda. I don’t want you to give up on that.”

  Her mother smiled at her through her pain. Tears welled in her mother’s eyes as she squeezed Amanda’s hand more tightly.

  Amanda resisted the urge to tell her Mom that she didn’t care if she ended up spending the rest of her life alone. She had never had a boyfriend and was still a virgin. The most she’d ever done was kiss her prom date in her senior year. Amanda was used to being overlooked because she was a little bit bigger and heavier than most in her class.

  She just smiled at her mom and squeezed her hand back.

  “I’m no good at sitting around and waiting for news. The doctors said they will know a lot more in a couple of days. If they say Dad is improving, I would like to get away for a little while. Is it okay if I go up to the cabin in a week or so?” she asked her mother.

  “By yourself?” her mom asked.

  They usually went to the cabin outside of Seattle together as a family. Amanda wanted the solitude, though. She thought it might be somewhat healing as she was feeling horribly depressed. She needed to get out of the city.

  “Yeah, for a couple of weeks maybe,” Amanda said.

  She’d dropped all of her classes when she’d found out about her dad’s illness. It would be good for her to be away from everyone.

  “I guess that’s fine,” her Mom said and smiled at her.

  “Thanks, Mom,” Amanda said and hugged her mother. “For now, let’s just hope for the best. He’s too tough to let this heart disease win.

  “Sounds good.” her mom said, glancing at her watch. “It’s about time we head back home. It’s almost ten o’clock and visitor’s hours are over.”

  Amanda nodded and the two of them rose from their chairs. They made their way out of the room and back down the hall. Amanda took a deep breath and steeled herself for another night of worry about her Dad. She didn’t know what she would do if he didn’t make it.

  Chapter 2

  Amanda drove through forested roads outside of Seattle, trying to remember which turn-off led to her family’s cabin in the woods. She slowed down as she approached each sign, causing other drivers to honk and pass her.

  “Screw you, too!” she yelled at the car currently buzzing rudely past her.

  Finally, she saw some familiar markers and knew that she was approaching the road she needed to turn on. When she reached it, she went right and followed the winding little road that led directly up to the cabin. The trees parted as she got closer and soon she could see the two-story log-style building looking back at her.

  She turned off her car and got out, grabbing her bags from the back seat. Her boots crunched as she walked over the gravel and up the steps to the front door. She quickly found her key and unlocked the door. She stepped in.

  The place still smelled new even though it had been built five years prior. She went up the stairs and quickly found the room that was hers.

  The walls were wooden, just like any log cabin. There were a couple of posters from when she’d been younger. She’d just never taken them down. One was of her favorite pop singer and the other was of one of her favorite movies.

  She threw her bags down at the foot of the bed and took in her surroundings. She needed to go grocery shopping and get some food for the next couple of weeks.

  Amanda went back to the car and headed towards the little town of Mountain View. She quickly found the little mom and pop grocery store on Main Street and parked.

  After about an hour, she’d gotten everything she needed in the way of food and supplies. She was walking towards the register when a little kid darted in front of her, zipping between her and the cart and tripping her in the process. She fell hard onto the linoleum floor and fought the urge to rip the kid a new one. She cursed under her breath.

  “Let me help you,” said a deep dark voice.

  She looked up to see a large hand extended towards her. She took it.

  When she stood, the guy that helped her was towering over her. She looked up to meet his eyes. They were brown with flecks of gold throughout the irises. He was muscular, well-tanned and strikingly handsome. He ran a hand through his sandy brown hair that fell just above the shoulder. He looked more like he belonged on a surfer beach than in a small-town grocery store.

  Amanda struggled for the appropriate words. She was never good with guys. She never quite knew what to say.

  “Thanks,” was all she could manage. She smiled and looked away self-consciously.

  “The name’s Dylan,” said the tall guy.

  “Amanda,” she said.

  “You a tourist?”

  “Sort of, my parents have a cabin up here,” Amanda said, getting nervous in his presence. She wanted nothing more than to dart as fast as she could back to her car and get the hell out of there.

  “How long are you in town for?” asked Dylan with a crooked grin that revealed two rows of perfect white teeth. They gleamed in the fluorescent lights and contrasted beautifully with his skin.

  “Not sure, I just needed to get away by myself for a while” she replied not knowing why she would say that to a complete stranger.

  “Okay, that’s great. What are you doing for dinner, Amanda?”

  “What … um… I’m probably just going to fix something at the cabin,” she said.

  “There’s a great little diner at the end of the block. Why don’t you join me for supper?”

  She froze. Was he asking her out on a date? Surely that wasn’t what he had in mind.

  “I’ll see you at eight,” he said with a crooked grin. He walked off towards the back of the store evidently intent on doing some of his own grocery shopping.

  Amanda looked over her shoulder to watch him walk away. She felt butterflies flapping their wings inside of her stomach. Finally, she turned back and went towards the checkout line with a big grin on her face.

  Chapter 3

  At about seven that evening, Amanda tried on virtually everything she’d brought with her but none of it was appropriate for a date. Hell, she hadn’t even considered the possibility of being asked on a date. That was the last thing on her mind. She felt a little guilty to be enjoying herself on a trip when she’d meant to spend her time alone. Fortunately, Dad was feeling much stronger. He had said ‘Amanda, get away and enjoy yourself.’

  She shook off the feeling and grabbed a pair of jeans, a tank top, and a hoodie. She threw them on and looked at herself in the mirror. The jeans hugged her curves and the tank top showed off her breasts. The hoodie covered her up a little. She was self-conscious. She still didn’t even know if this was a real date. What if he stood her up? What if it was a joke?

  Amanda thought about not showing up. She imagined him being disappointed. It would be a role reversal that she wasn’t familiar with. But what if she went? What if it went really well? She bit her lip thinking about it. Oh well, she concluded. If it was awful at least she was going home in a couple of weeks and she wouldn’t have to see him again.

  She shrugged her shoulders and settled on the outfit. She crawled onto her bed and got her phone out to check text messages and Facebook.

  There were several get well postings to her wall about her dad. She lik
ed each of them but didn’t comment. She saw that she had five unread text messages and opened them. They were all from her mom, making sure she was alive.

  She replied: I’m fine! Just been grocery shopping!

  Amanda exchanged a few texts with her mom. Finally, her mom told her to have a good time and enjoy herself. Amanda hadn’t brought up the fact that she was going on a date.

  It was growing closer to eight o’clock and she needed to leave. She zipped up her hoodie and went to the car. The drive down the mountain into the little sleepy town wasn’t a long one, but it felt especially long because she was so nervous. She still wondered if this was a good idea. She pulled up in front of the diner and looked in the window.

  There was Dylan, already seated in a booth next to the window. He looked the menu over and then sat it down. He glanced out the window to his right and met Amanda’s eyes.

  Shit! He’d seen her. Well, no backing out now.

  She collected herself and got out. She walked into the restaurant with as much confidence as she could muster. Amanda tried to remind herself that it might not even be a date, so she shouldn’t be freaking out.

  “Hey!” Dylan said, rising from the booth. He stood while Amanda took her seat. She wasn’t used to old-fashioned manners coming from guys her age, but it sure was refreshing. She smiled bashfully at him and scooted in. He sat down again.

  “I was hoping you weren’t gonna stand me up!” he said with a laugh.

  Amanda imagined that someone as good looking as Dylan had never been stood up in his entire life. Girls were probably clawing each other’s eyes out to get a date with him. Yet here he was with Amanda. The girl who still had her v-card and hadn’t even shared a passionate kiss.

  The thoughts embarrassed her, and she hoped it wasn’t showing on her face. All she could do was smile and look down at her menu, avoiding eye contact with him.

  “Do you know what you want?” he asked after a moment or two.

  “Think I’ll get a hamburger,” said Amanda, putting down the menu.

  “They’re good here,” he said. He looked out the window. “So where are you from?”

  “Seattle,” she said.

  “I’ve been there a few times,” Dylan said as their waitress brought them both waters. He thanked her.

  She felt like one of the cute little animals in Bambi. She was twitterpated. Amanda tried to ignore it and keep her thoughts on track. She was just trying to maintain a normal conversation with this guy. “You like Seattle?” she asked.

  “I do. I like it here better, though. Mountain View is where I’ve always lived,” said Dylan.

  Amanda wondered what it would be like to grow up in such a small place. What would it be like to live in a place where everyone knows you? Seattle was so much bigger. She didn’t even keep in contact with any of her old friends from high school. He probably saw his friends from high school every day.

  She fumbled for her words, but he filled the silence.

  “Do you have a boyfriend back home?” Dylan asked with a little bit of shyness that Amanda hadn’t anticipated.

  “I don’t,” she said rather quickly. She wondered if she should have played that closer to the vest.

  “I find that hard to believe,” he said with that crooked grin. It caused her stomach to jump a little bit. She felt butterflies. She smiled back at him but quickly she looked away.

  Soon they ordered their dinner and talking while they waited. It was slowly becoming easier and easier for Amanda to open up to Dylan. She’d realized that the whole thing wasn’t some kind of sick joke, which made her feel much more at ease with him. Not too long into dinner, they were joking with each other.

  “Any plans after this, city girl?” Dylan asked playfully.

  Amanda laughed. The idea was ridiculous to her.

  “No,” she almost snorted and then finished her hamburger.

  “Why don’t you let me take you for a drive?” he asked as their eyes met.

  She felt swallowed by his gaze. All of the hair on her arms and the back of her neck stood straight up as he looked at her. For a moment everything hinged on just the two of them. ‘No way, I don’t know anything about this guy,’ she said to herself, ‘what if he was a rapist? She then shook away her worries.

  “Sure. Why not?” she finally said.

  Dylan smiled at her and flagged down the waitress for the check. He paid and they were outside before Amanda had time to possibly change her mind.

  This was really happening. This really cute guy had asked her on a date and now he wanted to spend even more time with her. It was crazy. It was definitely the last thing that she had anticipated during her time in the mountains.

  He led her out to an old beat-up Bronco truck. It was black and a touch rusty. He opened the passenger side door and helped her get in. She smiled as she watched him walk in front of the SUV. It was obvious beneath his t-shirt that he was ripped. He had the muscles of a guy who had worked hard his whole life. Someone like Dylan didn’t know what a desk job was, she imagined. Then her imagination began to wonder what he would look like carrying some wood over his shoulder while shirtless in the summer time. Perhaps she would have to come back to find out for herself.

  “Ready?” he asked as he got into the driver’s seat.

  “Ready,” she echoed, feeling the pit of her stomach being overtaken by a horde of butterflies.

  Dylan put the Bronco in drive and headed out of town towards the mountains, up in the direction from which Amanda had come.

  “I want to show you my favorite spot to clear my head,” he said as he shifted and picked up speed.

  Amanda had her window rolled down and was enjoying the way the cool night air felt on her hand. It was the perfect weather for a hoodie, she thought. It was just crisp enough to need to stay warm.

  They cruised down forest roads, winding their way slowly up the mountain. Finally, Dylan turned off on a dirt road that led to an opening in the woods. There was a small dirt parking lot with large logs that framed the parking spots.

  He turned the car off and pointed to the sky.

  Amanda looked out of the passenger side window and her breath was taken away.

  The sky was full of stars. Not just the bright stars, either. It was every star. There were billions of them, she thought. She was only seeing a tiny fraction. She stared at the sky for the better part of two minutes. She felt his hand take hers.

  “I hope you don’t mind,” he said as he intertwined their fingers.

  “Not at all,” Amanda said, looking back at him.

  She wanted him to kiss her with those lips. She wanted to feel his skin against hers. She wanted to know what it was like to make love to a man. All of these thoughts caused her cheeks to flush with heat. She looked back out at the sky.

  “It’s beautiful,” she said.

  “It’s perfect,” he replied.

  He tugged on her hand and she looked back at him. His eyes had become dark in the moonlight. His lips were slightly parted as he stared at her. She could feel his eyes on her skin like a hand, slowly caressing her flesh. She devoured the sensation.

  Dylan leaned over and pressed his soft lips against Amanda’s. She yielded to his kiss and he gently began to kiss her. He cupped a hand against her neck, and she followed his hand with hers, holding onto his wrist.

  He ran his tongue along the crease of her lips, sending her into a nosedive of pleasure that she’d never felt before. What was he doing? Why did it affect her this way? She wasn’t sure, but she didn’t want it to stop.

  She followed his lead and opened her mouth to him. This was it! She was about to really be kissed!

  He slid his tongue into her mouth, gently exploring her tongue with his. She felt desire begin to surge through her body, seeming to rest right between her thighs where the heat of passion was growing each minute.

  After a moment, he pulled his face away from hers.

  “Is this alright?” he asked, almost timid.

&n
bsp; A guy like Dylan shouldn’t be timid, she thought. Girls would never say no to a guy like him. She looked at his perfect lips and nodded her head. He dove into kissing her again, this time more urgently.

  His tongue went deeper into her mouth and she countered by exploring his mouth with hers. Dylan groaned as he kissed her. She brought her hands up to the base of his hairline.

  He swept some hair out of her face and stopped for a second.

  “Hang on,” he said and leaned over towards the driver’s side door. “Let try this.”

  In a second, the back of the front seat lurched backwards, and Amanda landed on her back, supported by her elbows. She giggled. It was funny, but it made her more nervous than anything. She wasn’t sure how this was going to go. She needed to just lose her virginity, she thought. But was she ready to lose it on a first date?