Unattainable

by Schlosser, Jamie

  I approached the stage and relayed the few notes I’d jotted down. They took the criticism well.

  “You guys have been practicing, huh? Because I’m blown away,” I praised.

  Smiling, they both nodded and Twila piped up, “We got to it as soon as we found out who we were paired with last night. Gosh, I barely slept a wink. It’s really good, though? Think we’ll make it through?”

  “Well, I haven’t heard the others yet,” I told them. “Keep rehearsing. Don’t be afraid to connect with each other during the song. Let the emotions come out and sell it for what it’s worth.”

  “Thanks, man,” Jordan said at the same time Twila squealed and bounced toward the exit like a caffeinated puppy.

  They exchanged hushed, excited whispers as they left, and I felt like I’d done my job.

  A noogie sneak attack snapped me out of my self-satisfaction. I struggled against Theo’s headlock as he drawled, “Look at you. All grown up and stuff. Giving professional advice.”

  I laughed as I broke away.

  “Ass. You messed up my hair. How’s my concealer holding up?” I asked quietly, tilting my head so he could look at my neck.

  “Great.”

  And as he ruffled my hair again, a sense of rightness came over me. Pure happiness I’d never felt before.

  It was one of those random, life-defining moments, when you realized you were totally rocking your personal life and your profession. When you knew you were on the right path and everything you’ve ever wanted was actually happening. My brother and I were continuing to strengthen our bond, and the new relationship with Corrie was going as well as it possibly could.

  I checked my watch. Almost three o’clock. Pretty soon, room service would be bringing my girl a tray of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches with applesauce on the side.

  Just as I smoothed my hair back down, Camille and Mallory entered the room, letting the door shut behind them.

  Quiet and sullen, they took their places on the stage, each standing behind a microphone several feet apart. Awkward silence hung heavily in the air, and I chalked up their uneasy attitude to nerves.

  “Good afternoon, ladies,” I said kindly, hoping my reassuring tone would help them be more comfortable. “What will you be singing for us?”

  “‘White Liar’ by Miranda Lambert,” Camille replied while pulling her dark hair into a knot on the back of her head.

  Mallory did the same with her red curls as she shifted from foot to foot. She had dark circles under her eyes and the wrinkled green sundress was the same one she’d been wearing the night before at the party.

  “Great song,” I commented. “Just let Trisha know when you’re ready to begin.”

  All I received from them was blank stares.

  I scratched my jaw. “Something wrong?”

  “Which part am I supposed to sing?” Mallory asked, sending a tension-filled glance at Camille.

  I blinked at them. “You haven’t discussed it with each other?”

  “Well, I tried,” Camille answered with a heaping dose of snark. “But little Miss Texas was too busy getting trashed last night.”

  “I already told you—I’m not Miss Texas,” Mallory shot back. “I didn’t even place in the pageant.”

  Camille huffed. “That’s no reason to drink yourself under the table the night before an important rehearsal. You might be here to party, but I take this career very seriously.”

  They both started talking at the same time, and I couldn’t even make out their words with all the squabbling.

  Oh, hell. Female quarrels so weren’t my expertise.

  I pinched the bridge of my nose and ignored Theo’s muttered curse from somewhere behind me.

  “Listen.” I cut off their arguing with a wave of my hand. “Tomorrow night you need to be able to sing this song together. Your future depends on it. Can you set your differences aside for now?”

  The response was mostly grumbling, but I heard a couple yeses. Good enough.

  “Okay, here’s how it’s gonna go.” I signaled Trisha. “We’ll listen to the song first, then we’ll figure out who sings which part.”

  The solution sounded so simple when I said it out loud.

  But it wasn’t. Not at all.

  We spent the next forty-five minutes with the song on repeat while sorting out the details. Since Camille was a soprano, it made sense for her to take the higher part of the harmony. Mallory insisted on having the first solo, which led to more bickering. We flipped a coin for it, and she won the honors.

  While they took to the stage again, Theo leaned in and whispered, “Want me to get Hadley down here? She could be a mediator or something.”

  “No.” I shook my head. “This is my responsibility. Maybe they’ll start singing and it’ll be magic.”

  My optimistic hopes got shot down immediately.

  Separately, the two women sounded great. But together? Major disaster. Camille’s voice kept overpowering Mallory. In my mind, I’d been referring to Camille as ‘the powerhouse’ and for good reason. She had a strong voice, but while that was usually an asset, in a duo it could be her downfall.

  The next hour was painfully unproductive.

  With every passive-aggressive quip and seething sneer they aimed at each other, my confidence in their ability to win and my ability to help them dwindled.

  And my patience wore thin.

  “Mallory, really dig into that first note,” I suggested. “Start it off with a bang.”

  Nodding, she applied my advice, but I wasn’t sure any of it mattered. If they couldn’t get along, the whole performance was going to be shit anyway. Palpable tension—of the nonsexual nature—was never a good thing on stage.

  Discouraged, I leaned back in my chair and rubbed at my temples while they attempted what had to be the twenty-fifth run-through. A headache was setting in, and I was experiencing emotional whiplash from how happy I’d been a couple of hours earlier to how much of a failure I felt like now.

  Halfway through the chorus, Mallory stopped singing to tell Camille her timing was off—even though it wasn’t.

  Finally, I reached my limit.

  “Enough,” I barked. Both singers wore startled expressions at my outburst, and I was glad I had their undivided attention for the reality check they were about to get. “You have zero chance of getting through tomorrow night if you can’t pretend to like each other. Fake it. If you’re in this business for the long haul, collaborations will happen and sometimes it’ll be with people you don’t like or respect.”

  “Aiden’s right,” Theo piped up. “I’ve lost count of how many people hated my guts when they were forced to work with me.”

  The cameraman—not so inconspicuous anymore—moved around us, getting a close up of the girls.

  Tears swam in Camille’s eyes, and I felt like such a shitbag for being the one to put them there. At least she was making an effort to be the bigger person. More than once, I’d seen her literally bite her lip to stop herself from responding with a snippy comment when Mallory gave her unwanted advice.

  Mallory threw her hands in the air. “Let’s start from the top then. We just need to get this over with.”

  Not the greatest attitude, but I’d done the best I could to run interference.

  They began again.

  I breathed out a sigh of relief when they made it all the way to the end without stopping, but at this point, their only chance at being saved was if Elliot and Dawn were somehow worse.

  I’d find out soon enough, because Theo announced that our time was up.

  “Keep practicing,” I told the girls, hoping for a miracle.

  Camille left looking defeated, while Mallory quietly seethed as she walked out to the lobby. Wanting to record any action going down, the cameraman followed them.

  I glanced at Trisha, who was trying really hard to mind her own business behind her laptop screen. “You can take a break. God knows I need one.”

  Her sympathetic eyes
lifted to mine, and she nodded. “Sure thing.”

  “Aha!” Theo approached a man coming into the room, and I recognized him as one of the bartenders from the lounge across the lobby. “In the nick of time, my good sir. Thank you.”

  Turning, Theo waltzed back my way carrying two pink drinks. I reached out to take one, but he pulled it away and stuck the straw in his mouth.

  “Get your own,” he muttered while gnawing on the plastic. “These are for me.”

  My hands went to my hips as my head dropped back. “Could this day get any worse?”

  “Dude.” One of the drinks got shoved into my vision. “I was joking. Take it easy.”

  I didn’t even thank him before bypassing the straw and gulping half of the fruity liquid. Alcohol fan or not, I welcomed any kind of relief to the pressure and frustration weighing down on me.

  After taking a few more swigs, I turned to Theo. “I’m terrible at this. I was feeling good after Twila and Jordan, but they came prepared. I didn’t even have to do anything. But that—” I motioned toward the empty stage. “—was a total shitstorm. I’m letting everyone down.”

  Theo’s amused expression sobered. “Are you kidding? You handled that like a boss. It’s not your fault if they let their pettiness get in the way. Believe me, I know a thing or two about screwing things up. And you? You’re not even close to falling short.”

  Draining the rest of the drink, I set the empty glass on the table.

  His praise made my mood lighter. Or maybe it was the booze. “I don’t know if it’s the alcohol or the pep talk, but I feel a little better.”

  “That’s the spirit.” Grinning, he gave me the other drink. “By the way, these are both for you.”

  SOMETIMES BEING SEXUALLY INEXPERIENCED WAS inconvenient.

  Example number one: When you don’t expect anyone to see you in your undies, you don’t have sexy panties. No lace. No bright colors. Just plain old white or black. Sometimes beige if the outfit called for it. Boring. Practical. Not attractive in the least.

  Example number two: the nerves. I didn’t want Aiden to be deterred by my virginity, and I needed to be the best he’d ever had.

  Did I want him to be my first? Yes. Did I want him to be my only? Again, yes.

  But would I even be good at it?

  What if it was so bad that he realized I wasn’t worth the hassle?

  I couldn’t be a weirdo and bad in bed.

  I really wished I had someone to talk to. Someone to confide in. Usually, I’d go to my mom with any problem that needed solving. She was the smartest person I knew. She was able to see a situation from all sides, weigh the pros and cons, and she possessed natural common sense.

  But there was no way I could tell my mother I was thinking about fucking.

  Carson was way too young for the subject.

  Trisha wasn’t allowed to know, because she might feel compelled to tattle on me. Sure, we were friends and I trusted her to some degree, but I didn’t know if she was willing to risk her career for me.

  “Gah!” I held up the beige panties in one hand and the black in the other.

  I was overthinking again. It wasn’t like we were going to bang tonight, so it didn’t matter which one I chose.

  Tossing them to the bed, I picked up one of the PB and J sandwiches room service delivered earlier and took a tiny bite. The sweet strawberry jelly burst over my tongue, and I sent a silent thank-you to Aiden for remembering I hated grape.

  And then I came to a conclusion: Sex with Aiden would be amazing no matter what.

  It had to be.

  He knew me. He accepted me. He liked my feet.

  And humping each other in the ocean had been the most erotic moment of my life.

  Sex would be just like that, only without clothes in the way.

  Feeling much better from my internal pep talk, I slipped a royal blue dress over my head.

  Because of the sunburn, it was probably best not to wear a bra. My breasts were perky enough to get away with no support. Besides, the strapless top reined in the girls pretty well.

  However, going commando wasn’t an option.

  Going back to contemplating the neutral cotton boy shorts on the bed, I decided to go with black. Because nothing was worse than flesh-colored granny panties. I shimmied them up my legs, careful of the sensitive areas on my thighs.

  Then I slid on my flip-flops, grabbed my purse, and took a look in the mirror hanging on the wall over the small two-person dining table.

  No makeup tonight. If Aiden and I were going to be sleeping, I didn’t need it. Plus, the aloe and ointment had done wonders for my skin. I was still on the red side, but my face was starting to take on a nice glow instead of looking like I stuck my head in a campfire.

  The dolphin notebook on the table caught my eye and I scooped it up. Between working all evening and being so busy worrying about sex, I’d forgotten to open it. My heart pitter-pattered when I saw Aiden’s messy handwriting in blue ink.

  Corrie,

  You and I have a lot of memories together, but the very best one I can think of is the smile you gave me when you found out we got paired for our duet. Mr. Houseman announced our names and you looked at me from across the room. And you just lit up. It was then I knew I had a chance with you, because I’d never seen you give anyone else that smile. You were so careful about who you gave your time to, and the fact that you were elated to spend countless evenings with me was a dream come true.

  —Aiden

  Clenching my thighs together, I questioned my resolve to take sex off the table tonight. The guy should be giving lessons on how to get laid, because this was the way to do it.

  I swiped the nearest pen and scribbled out my own favorite memory in reply.

  Then I shoved the notebook in my large black purse, which contained all the overnight essentials: a toothbrush, a pink tank top, and matching striped shorts to sleep in.

  Sticking my head out into the hallway, I listened for any signs of life on my floor. The NTT crew was having a staff meeting at the bar in the lounge. AKA a drunk fest.

  It was perfect for my plan to wait until everyone had left their rooms, then hightail it up to Aiden’s suite.

  I waited a good thirty seconds, and when I heard nothing but silence, I tiptoed to the double elevators. The one on the right side opened immediately and I stepped inside, quickly punching the number ten and the ‘close door’ button.

  The journey to the top floor seemed to take forever. Antsy to see Aiden and nervous about being discovered, I hopped on the balls of my feet while keeping my fingernails away from my teeth.

  This time, there was no protective big brother waiting for me in the hallway. In fact, the resort seemed like a ghost town and I breathed easier as I made it to Aiden’s room.

  But just as I’d started knocking, the soft ding of the other elevator sounded from down the hall.

  Oh, crap.

  Panicked, I rapped my knuckles faster. I had no idea who was coming out of there. Probably Theo or Hadley. They were the only other people staying up here, but I couldn’t take any chances.

  I heard giggling as it slid open, and the tip of a red high heel appeared.

  Thankfully, the knob in front of me turned and I shoved my way inside the room as soon as the door cracked open. Shutting it, I leaned back against the wood and heaved out a sigh.

  “You came.” Aiden was grinning from ear to ear.

  He was wearing the same white T-shirt from earlier, but he’d swapped the jeans for gray gym shorts. I tried not to stare, but I liked seeing him like this. Casual. Totally rocking the comfortable ensemble.

  I closed the distance between us, wrapping my arms around his middle and resting my head on his chest. “I missed you today.”

  Being near him was like taking a double shot of liquor. Warm and fuzzy. Instant calm.

  “Missed you, too.” Chuckling, he swayed on his feet, and his big palms landed on my ass. Nuzzling my neck, he hummed. “Mmm. Why do you alway
s smell like flowers and dreams?”

  The stench of alcohol hit me, and it was strong.

  “Are you—are you drunk?” I pushed him back to get a good look at his eyes.

  His very glassy, unfocused eyes.

  Yep. Drunk as a skunk.

  “No,” he denied. Hiccup. Burp. “Okay, maybe a little.”

  “I thought you had rehearsal.” Pulling him by the hand, I urged him toward the couches, dumping my purse on the table along the way.

  “I did. And it was awful. Hence, the drinking.” Groaning, he ungracefully plopped onto the middle cushion before yanking me down with him.

  I ended up half-straddling his lap, one leg extended, the other trapped under me.

  Frowning, I noted the tired circles under his eyes and the tense set of his jaw. I briefly considered putting him to bed, but the bedroom door was shut, and I wondered if he’d changed his mind about having me stay over. Maybe he’d rather sleep it off alone.

  “What happened?” I asked softly, running my fingers through his hair in a soothing gesture. He’d taken such good care of me earlier, it was only right to return the favor.

  He opened his mouth to respond, but a loud knock cut him off. My eyes widened and a cute wrinkle appeared on the bridge of Aiden’s nose.

  “Aiden,” a female voice sang through the wood. “Open up.”

  “You’re already here,” he slurred, squinting at me. “How could you come to my door a second time?”

  Oh, geez. He was more intoxicated than I thought.

  “That’s not me.” I quirked an eyebrow, fighting the irrational jealousy churning in my gut. “Did you invite someone else to your room?”

  Aiden shook his head violently, then blinked like he was dizzy. “No one’s supposed to come up here. Except you. And Theo or Hadley. But that’s not Hadley.”

  “Maybe she’ll go away if you ignore it,” I whispered.

  Knock, knock, knock.

  He leaned forward to sniff my shoulder and murmured, “You always smell like home. At my old house there was a lilac bush right outside my bedroom. In the spring I used to sleep with the window open so I could smell the flowers.”