Unattainable

by Schlosser, Jamie

  She didn’t feel the same.

  As much as I tried to tell myself it didn’t matter if Corrie returned my feelings, it did. It really did.

  I swallowed hard, trying to keep the bile down because I suddenly felt sick.

  Unaware of my inner turmoil, she kept talking. “The connection we had then was real, but superficial. Given the chance, it could’ve turned into something serious.”

  My God. She was really twisting the knife.

  I closed my eyes so I didn’t have to look at her when she let me down gently.

  “But I like who we are now, how we are together.” She paused. “Love it, actually. I love you, Aiden.”

  My eyes snapped open.

  In an instant, my heart was stitched up and relocated to the place where it belonged in my chest. It hammered as I replayed her words in my mind at least three times.

  “You love me?”

  Smiling wide, she nodded. “I didn’t know it was possible to love someone the way I love you. To love someone like they’re a part of me that I can’t live without.”

  Relieved and elated, I hugged Corrie. I held her so tightly, she wheezed a little.

  Slackening my grip, I pressed a tender kiss on the tip of her nose. “Thank you—for forgiving me. For giving me another chance. For wanting me as much as I want you.”

  “If two people were ever meant to be together, it’s you and me.” She lightly scratched my five o’clock shadow, and even though there wasn’t much light in the room, I could see wetness shimmering in her eyes. “I’ve always cared for you, even when I knew I shouldn’t. When we were apart, I tried so hard to forget you… but it never worked.”

  “Don’t ever try to forget me again,” I said sternly, gently bumping our foreheads together.

  “I won’t,” she promised, and I didn’t need to issue a truth dare to know she meant it.

  “HEY, YOU!” I SMILED AS my brother’s face appeared on the screen of my phone.

  “Hey.” He grinned, brushing his light-brown hair off his forehead—the exact same color mine would’ve been if I hadn’t tampered with it. “Mom and Dad are going to be so pissed you called me before them.”

  “Pssh. They can wait. I have a surprise for you.”

  His face lit up and he pushed his black-framed glasses up on his nose. “Are you with Aiden Legend? Or Theo-Dog? Or Hadley?” Hadley’s name came out on a dreamy sigh.

  Yeah, the kid had a thing for the dog trainer. Most people did. You just couldn’t help but love her.

  And he’d been a fan of Theo for years. Even during the time when the tabloids said horrible things about him, Carson insisted on ‘Theo-Dog’s’ innocence. I wouldn’t go as far as to ever call Theo innocent, but I had to admit he was a much better guy than the press had made him out to be.

  And Aiden… Well, Carson had mixed feelings about him. A love-hate relationship, you could say. He knew about my crush and the heartbreak I’d suffered—it was hard not to with my teenage angst permeating every room in our house during those last months of high school.

  But while Carson had been angry on my behalf, grudge or no grudge, he was still an Aiden fan after watching The Final Showdown last year.

  He’d wanted to kick himself many times for not asking for Aiden’s autograph when he’d had the chance. My family had briefly met Aiden at the winter concert but, at my insistence, we didn’t stick around for refreshments and socializing in the gym afterward. While my parents could brush off the snootiness from all the rich people, it was something I couldn’t ignore.

  Well, I’d make sure Carson got that autograph soon. But first…

  “Nope,” I replied, spinning until the stable appeared in the background. “This is Fergus.”

  The large brown horse’s nose drifted over my shoulder and sniffed the phone, his warm breath fogging up the camera.

  Carson jumped back. “What the hell is that?”

  “What does it look like?” I deadpanned.

  “A horse. You’re afraid of horses.”

  “Not anymore.” My free hand came up to pet the velvety face. “Well, at least I’m not afraid of this horse. I come here as often as I can. I just got back from a ride on the beach.”

  “You ride that thing?” Carson asked incredulously. He wasn’t much of an animal lover either, probably because we never had pets growing up.

  “He’s so good, I swear.” The love I’d quickly developed for Fergus was evident in my praising tone, and I realized I sounded a little bit like Hadley when she was trying to convince me to join the Kenzie fan club.

  Over the past week and a half, I’d returned to the ranch four times. Two with Aiden, two without. And every time, my bond with this animal grew deeper. I trusted him, and I didn’t think it was my imagination that he was excited to see me. When I’d arrived this morning, he stomped his feet and waved his head out the door while making all kinds of obnoxious sounds.

  “That’s so freaking cool.” Carson glanced over his shoulder at his closed bedroom door. “Want me to get Mom and Dad?”

  “Not quite yet.” I rotated further until Aiden appeared behind me. He was at Dolly’s stall, brushing her mane.

  He waved. “Hey, Carson.”

  My brother paled and gripped the arms of his desk chair until his knuckles were white. “M-Mr. Legend.”

  “You can call me Aiden.”

  “Aiden.” Wide-eyed, Carson started rambling, “I’m a huge fan. Oh, man, last year when you sang “House of the Rising Sun” by The Animals, I lost it. You hooked me. I even learned how to play it on the violin.”

  “I hear you’re really good.” Aiden smiled as he dropped the brush and took the phone from me, pacing to the other side of the barn.

  I let out an exasperated noise because he just highjacked my FaceTime call. Huffing, I crossed my arms as the guys continued their conversation without me.

  “Yeah.” I heard Carson say. “I’m decent.”

  “Decent?” Aiden scoffed. “If you got into Weston, you’re the cream of the crop.”

  “Thanks.” I could tell Carson was smiling. Then his voice hardened. “Listen. I don’t know what you’re doing with my sister, but I feel the need to make the appropriate warning. If you hurt her—”

  Aiden cut him off before death threats were delivered. “I won’t. You have my word on that. Actually, one of the reasons I wanted to talk to you is because I want you to know I’m in love with Corrie. I’d rather rack myself in the nuts than break her heart.”

  Of all the eloquent responses he could’ve come up with, that’s what came out of his mouth? How romantic.

  Apparently, the guy-speak was reassuring enough for Carson.

  “Good,” he continued. “Because I really like you, Aiden. And I wouldn’t want to have to rack you in the nuts myself, but I’d do it.”

  Aiden barked out a laugh. “Hey, I don’t know what your plans are after this summer, but I could always use a fiddle in my band once I’m on tour.”

  “Are you serious?” Carson practically shouted, all concern for me forgotten. “Oh my God. That would be amazing. You’re the best, man.”

  I rolled my eyes. Dangle a job in front of the kid and suddenly I’m chopped liver.

  “You’ll have to audition, but from the way Corrie talks about you, I have no doubt in your skills.”

  “Holy crap, I just realized something!” The high-pitched screech echoing through the barn made Fergus and me wince. “If you marry Corrie, that would make us related. Brothers.”

  Oookay. Too far.

  Racing over to Aiden, I snatched the phone from his hand and aimed daggers at the screen. “I think that’s enough chit-chat for today.”

  Carson frowned. “But what about Mom and Dad?”

  I hadn’t talked to them since my flight got in two weeks ago. Since cell service was spotty on the island, and I’d been so busy with working and Aiden, I just hadn’t had time.

  “Tell them I’ll call later,” I said. “And do me a favor?�
��

  “Anything.”

  “I want to be the one to tell them about Aiden and me, so don’t say anything? Please?”

  “You know I wouldn’t do that.”

  “You’re awesome.”

  He grinned, his teenage ego showing. “I know.”

  “Thanks. Love you. Byyye.” I disconnected the call before anymore embarrassing talk could happen.

  “Hey,” Aiden complained at me as I pocketed the phone. “We were having fun.”

  Twisting my lips to the side, I just gave him a look as I went back to Fergus’s stall. He was munching on grains when he poked his head out to say goodbye.

  “Here you go.” I picked up a carrot and held it in my palm while his big horse lips nibbled at my skin. I giggled because it tickled. “I promise I’ll try to come back in a couple days.”

  “Could be more than a couple days, Miss Corrie,” Maria announced as she came into the barn carrying a giant bag of apples. “There’s a storm heading in from the east. Could be a big one, and I’ll probably have to shut down until it passes.”

  “Oh.” I frowned as I looked into Fergus’s eyes.

  We didn’t have much time left.

  It was hard to believe the finale was in three days, and the production team was packing up in four. I’d be leaving this island and the people and places that’d come to mean so much to me; Aiden’s suite and the infinity pool. Our cove. Maria, this ranch, and Fergus.

  The smell of sea, sand, and sun. Even the scent of hay had become comforting to me.

  And some of the resort staff and NTT crew were like a second family now. The cooks prepared peanut butter and jelly sandwiches just for me every day. Trisha often brought them down to the studio when I got into the zone and forgot to eat. Sometimes she’d stick around to have lunch with me, and we talked about everything except love and dating. If she suspected anything about Aiden and me, she didn’t show it. I felt a little guilty for withholding information from her, but it wasn’t like she’d come right out and asked if I was banging the star of the show.

  Today was a rare day off. Everyone was free to explore the island and relax. Theo had commanded it, stating burnout as the reason, although I suspected it was because Hadley left yesterday to get back to work. Poor guy seemed lost without her, and I wouldn’t have been surprised if he was in his room moping.

  Lucky for us, the free time gave me a chance to do something special for Aiden.

  I wiped my hands off on my jeans and held a hand out to him. “Come on. I’ve got something I want to show you.”

  “What is it?”

  “Let’s just say I’m full of surprises today.”

  “Will you at least give me a hint?”

  “Hmm…” I tapped my chin. “It’s something I’ve always wanted to do in a recording studio.”

  AS CORRIE PULLED ME THROUGH the dim hallways of the resort basement, I felt my cock stiffen, pressing painfully against the zipper of my jeans. When I told her I’d never miss an opportunity to be inside her, I didn’t realize she was going to take full advantage of that promise.

  Not that I was complaining. I was just as desperate for her as she was for me. When I wasn’t with her, I was brainstorming about ways to get her alone.

  For the past ten days, we’d been sneaking around every chance we got and she’d been spending the nights in my room.

  It still wasn’t enough. During the hours we were apart, I became increasingly agitated. Like I was suffering from withdrawals.

  I used to be a gentleman.

  I used to have self-control.

  Now I was a slave to a purple-haired sex fiend.

  Corrie wanted it at least twice a day, but we usually went for three. It was always in my suite at night or at the cove early in the morning. So far, we’d just done missionary position and her on top. Nothing super adventurous.

  It was all so new, and we were still learning each other—I knew how to get her off with just my fingers in less than three minutes. She knew my nipples were basically an automatic boner button.

  But I was totally ready to branch out.

  Sex in the studio was pretty much combining all my favorite things in life.

  So excited my hands were shaking, I flipped the ‘do not disturb’ sign on the outside of the door before locking it behind me.

  I was too impatient to wait, and as I followed Corrie through the control room, I unbuckled my belt. Metal clanked against metal, gaining her attention.

  “What are you doing?” Pivoting, she stopped in the second doorway, her eyes dropping below my waist.

  “Uh…” I motioned to my crotch, letting the bulge in my pants speak for itself.

  She clapped a hand over her mouth, attempting to hold in her laughter and failing.

  “Are you telling me you didn’t bring me here to fuck?” I asked. “Be careful how you answer that. All my hopes and dreams are teetering on the edge of a cliff right now.”

  Giggling, Corrie shook her head. “As fun as that sounds, no.”

  That was when I noticed the setup behind her. She had all her DJ equipment arranged in the middle of the recording room.

  Oh. Not that I’d ever be disappointed about making music, especially with Corrie, but I grumbled out a dejected sound as I fastened my pants and resumed walking behind her.

  “I’ve gotten to see you perform so many times.” She grazed her fingertip over one of the turntables. Glancing down at the floor, Corrie was uncharacteristically shy when she mumbled, “I thought maybe you’d like to see what I can do.”

  “You think I’m not impressed by you?” I closed the distance between us and lifted her chin with my pointer finger. I was wholly sincere when I looked into her eyes and said, “I wouldn’t know the first thing about DJing. You amaze me every single time.”

  An impish smile curled up. “You haven’t seen anything yet, cowboy.”

  “Okay.” Grinning, I backed away and took a seat on a stool off to the side. “Show me what you got.”

  Taking her spot behind all the equipment, she started fussing with several wires, plugging them into her mixer. She had absolute confidence as she opened her laptop and hooked it up with a USB cord. Two small speakers framed the setup, and there was a keyboard off to the side with a microphone attached to it.

  Corrie looked so adorable with the chunky headphones circling her neck. Sometimes she didn’t even put them over her ears—just wore them like an accessory. Like they belonged there.

  I remembered she was interested in this stuff in high school. She’d always jumped at the chance to take the audio classes Weston offered.

  “What made you want to get into this?” I asked. “I know my way around a guitar and a studio, but when it comes to technical stuff, I’m pretty lost.”

  “You ever heard of Alan Walker?” Corrie didn’t look up, continuing to flip switches and turn knobs.

  “He’s a music producer, right?”

  She nodded. “And a DJ. He’s super popular in Europe and the guy is like my idol.”

  A bolt of irrational jealousy shot through me at the awe in her voice. “Do I need to be concerned about competition?”

  I was joking. Sort of.

  In answer, Corrie just rolled her eyes at me like that was the dumbest question she’d ever heard.

  When I’d assumed she’d been with other guys before, I had to be okay with it because it was my own fault she wasn’t with me. I’d messed up and a masochistic part of me felt like I deserved the pain.

  But Corrie was all mine. Always had been. Always would be.

  She finally seemed satisfied with all the tweaking she’d done. “Okay.” A hint of nerves caused her voice to waver. “I’m gonna start now.”

  “Let’s hear it.”

  I waited for the show to begin. And waited.

  Corrie stood behind her equipment, staring down at the buttons blankly, as though she’d never seen them before. All confidence gone. Her right hand came up and she nibbled on her fingernail
.

  Ah. We were back to that? It’d been over a week since I’d seen her chew her nails. Just when I thought she was completely comfortable with me, I was reminded again that, deep down, she was vulnerable and sensitive.

  “Baby.”

  “Hmm?” She glanced over at me with unsure eyes, and I got up from my stool.

  I stopped in front of her, the mixer between us. “What’s going on?”

  She let out a nervous laugh. “I just really want to impress you. I need you to see how good I am. What if I mess up?”

  Looking down at all the knobs, I chuckled. “Well, I probably wouldn’t notice. I have no idea how to work this thing.” Tugging her hand away from her face, I leaned forward to replace it with my mouth on her lips. “I might not be performing with you, but I’m still here. I’m cheering you on. You know what you’re doing. I bet you could hook this thing up in your sleep.”

  Smiling, she canted her head to the side in agreement, adding a modest shrug.

  “Then do it,” I told her. “I want to see you have fun.”

  With a determined nod, she swiveled to the left and pressed a button on her laptop.

  Then she lined her fingers up on the piano keys and began to play.

  The opening chords were sweet, yet melancholy. She went through sixteen counts, then to my surprise, her hands left the keyboard, but the melody kept playing on a loop. Her fingers landed back on the piano, adding another layer to make the sound richer.

  As soon as she opened her mouth to sing, my knees buckled. Good thing the stool was right behind me or else I might’ve fallen on my ass.

  Corrie’s voice was just how I remembered it—high, clear, with a perfect pitch.

  Goose bumps scattered up and down my arms, and my heart thundered in my chest.

  When she got to the chorus, she kept singing, but her hands went to the mixer, tapping out a beat. Same thing as the first sixteen counts—after nailing it, the tempo kept repeating along with the other music. Every now and then, motions almost too quick for me to see, she punched a new button or flipped a different switch.

  Layer upon layer got added to the song, and I couldn’t keep track of all the elements she was juggling, all while remembering the words and keeping control of her voice as she belted into the microphone.