Dreams of a Wild Heart

by Danube Adele

  “I have a few friends in town I’d like to visit,” Tarra slipped her arm through the crook of my own and walked out of the dining room with me. “There are families who will be pleased to know there is a doctor here now.”

  Maybe I would be able to check in with Raseen again. She seemed like a strong-willed woman, and I appreciated the energy she brought. Given the right circumstances, there would be no stopping her. Much too thin for good health, though. Something needed to be done. We were already in the entrance hall when I thought of how thin she was and how much food I’d left behind on my plate. How was it that the king could afford to eat so well, but the people were nearly to the point of looking like holocaust victims?

  I paused before we could completely leave the palace and Tarra gave me a questioning look.

  “I wanted to take my leftover food to someone in the village. Would that be possible?”

  “Oh, no.” Tarra shook her head with a hint of alarm. “It would only cause more rioting. To bring food to anyone would make them think there was a store of it being kept from them.”

  But wasn’t that happening? “Have the people always starved?”

  “There were many prosperous farms, but it was a market day when the attack happened two years ago.”

  “Many of the farmers died?”

  “A few.” She kept walking, forcing me along. “The streets were filled, everyone seemed content. The market was here twice a week. Being in the palace saved me. I was about to rush to the battery, but my uncle insisted that I go down to the cellar instead.”

  “You were lucky.”

  “Maybe luck, maybe something else.” Her eyes were shadowed as she considered her words, which hadn’t actually been meant for me. Then she continued, “Now, I think the farmers choose not to come anymore. I think they travel elsewhere to trade, and the king sometimes sends warriors to force them to come to market.”

  Looking around, I could see why. Who would want to risk illness? Pestilence? What could be traded? And yet, there was such need.

  “So who is solving this problem with food?” I remembered the woman I’d met earlier in the day. Raseen looked like she was on the verge of starvation. She was going to reach the point of no return where serious damage would be done to her internal organs, and after that, death. How many others had the same look?

  “My uncle, of course,” Tarra smiled brightly. This was her “face.” I recognized it now. She put it on when she didn’t want to share what her real thoughts and feelings were. She added, “He’ll figure out what we need to do.”

  I knew she didn’t actually believe that. The king was being a glutton in his castle, looking down on the little people.

  The smells of the town drifted on the air, making my nose wrinkle. The first major health hazard was the buildup of trash, and I didn’t want to know what else, in the streets. This was how illness could break out. Pandemics. E. coli. Rodent infestation and bubonic plagues. It was during times like these in history that whole populations of people were lost.

  “Dr. Cecilia!”

  The little boy who gave me the flower came running toward me with a smile bright enough to light up his face.

  “Hi, Cyral,”

  “My mom is making baskets. Want to see how she does it?”

  “Sure.” Then I looked to Tarra. “Is that okay?”

  “Go ahead. I have a friend just down the way I wanted to visit with. I’ll come find you in a little bit.”

  “Okay.” It was odd that she so quickly detached herself, and hurried down one of the side streets. Warriors were on patrol, and they too watched her, but for a different reason. I could see there were a few homes dotting the way and watched as she made her way toward one with a sagging front stoop. She looked back and gave a friendly wave to all spectators before knocking on the door.

  “Come this way.” Cyral took my hand, which was so sweet and made my heart warm.

  “What have you been doing today?”

  He grinned up at me. “Making a fort with rocks and sticks and mud.”

  I figured when he let go of my hand, I would find a coat of drying mud there, but that was okay. He was doing exactly what boys his age were supposed to do. I was glad to see that he didn’t seem to have symptoms associated with malnutrition. He might not be receiving a full plate of food three times a day, but he was getting enough that he didn’t seem small for his age. He was thin, but that wasn’t the same as what we referred to as “failure to thrive.” His skin and hair seemed to look healthy.

  “How fun! Mud forts. You can get nice and dirty. I used to love going for walks in the mountains when I was growing up. I used to love playing in the pond and playing on the rocks around the pond, looking for critters.” In the yard beside one of the homes I could see a sheep being sheared by a woman. On the opposite side of the street, a man was hammering at something metallic in a shop. People were surviving, but surviving was no way to live.

  “You did?” Cyral thought about that. “We don’t have a pond nearby and the river’s too hard to get to, but I love to climb trees. I’m always trying to see how high I can go and see far, far away.”

  Heights. I shook my head and warned, “Just be careful you don’t go too high. If you fall...”

  “I know, I know. I could get hurt.” He was repeating something he’d obviously heard his mother saying. “I’m always careful. Adry isn’t, though. He tries to do silly things in the tree, like let go and stand on the branch with no hands. He’s going to get hurt.”

  “What does his mom say?”

  “She doesn’t come out much. I think she’s sick or something. She’s going to have a baby and has to lie down all the time, so no one really watches him.”

  Sounded like a bad idea. “Where are your friends?”

  “Adry had to go do his chores to help his mom, and Tobi didn’t feel good. He went home.”

  “I’m sorry to hear that. Maybe his mom would let me take a look at him and see if I could help.” Maybe I could see the pregnant mom and make sure she was doing all right. Squeezing his hand gently, I let him pull me along to one of the few storefronts that looked as though someone was trying to keep it clean and realized I felt like I was walking through an apocalyptic existence.

  “Mam!” He opened the door. “Dr. Cecilia is here!” He pulled me into the front room, a larger room with all different types of baskets hanging from different display lines. There were so many different kinds ranging in size, shape and color. Some were quite large, and others were small and intricate. It appeared there were different kinds of dried leaves she used to create different kinds of baskets.

  “Dr. Cecilia?” She came out of the back room wiping her hands on her dress.

  “Cyral thought you might like company while you worked,” I smiled.

  “She was walking with Ms. Tarra when I saw her and told her to come for a visit. I told her you would show her how to make a basket.”

  A slight grimace touched her lips before she smiled and looked past me. “And where is Ms. Tarra?” It made me realize she had bought into Tarra’s façade, and I didn’t want to change her perception since Tarra had worked so hard to create it.

  “She had a friend she wanted to visit down the way. She said she would come by when she was ready to head back.”

  “She has a friend?” I thought I heard her murmur with some sarcasm before she welcomed me toward the back room with a wave of her hand. “This is my workroom.”

  It was as large as the front room with strips of dried plant life in multiple barrels waiting to be used. A round wood table with beautiful carvings on the legs was situated in the middle of the room. She invited me to sit in one of the chairs, which also had the same pattern. It was a gorgeous table, and I couldn’t help appreciating it. Raseen smiled with pride.

  “My husband made
it. He was very good with his hands,” she said proudly, and sat when I did. She’d left work on the table and picked it up again, working her hands quickly but efficiently with the dried plant life.

  “Tabron said many of the people were master craftsmen. I can see the details of the workmanship.”

  “Many were. He is. Don’t let Tabron fool you. He learned at his father’s knee, living out in Blysdan, about a day’s ride from here. We were children together, which is how I know him so well. He and my mated partner were good friends. Then the schools shut down, and the king ordered all young men to the palace for training.”

  “Your partner was a warrior for the king?”

  “He was. There was no choice. It was felt that we needed more protection, and the king assured us that this was only the beginning of the attacks. We were all afraid, waiting for the Sunan to come marching in and kill us all with their big weapons.”

  “And did they?”

  “After the king and queen were gone, there was nothing until two years ago. Some folks found their crops burned, or their animals stolen, and the Sunan were blamed for this. Who knows? We watched and waited. I saw no evidence of the Sunan.”

  “They’re made to sound so evil.”

  She paused in her work to give me a sharp look. “Make no mistake. What they did was the ultimate evil. My partner died in the attack, helping others to get to safety. Or what we thought was safety.”

  “Where were you?”

  “Out in the forest collecting materials for weaving.” She paused her fingers again, her eyes peering back into her mind, losing sight of the present. “I heard this terrible noise, this whining noise that just seemed to go on. It got louder and louder. I thought it was the end of the world and poor Cyral didn’t say anything. We were both shaking.”

  She wiped a tear, catching it before it could fall.

  “Then it was like the ground roared something fierce. I’d never heard the like of it before. I was sure it was the gods destroying us. We sat in the forest, holding on to each other with our eyes closed, waiting for the end. Then I saw the smoke and the fire in the distance and I knew. I just knew...” Her last word cracked. She paused and bit her lip, looking like she was trying to control her emotions. Her chin wobbled, and then she shook her head briefly, taking a deep breath.

  She’d lost her husband, and here I was asking her about it. I wanted to understand, but not at the cost of upsetting this nice woman. I reached out to rub her shoulder and arm. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

  She gave me a small smile and found the rhythm of her work again. “No, it’s fine. Really. Sometimes it sits inside me and needs to come out, but then there’s no one to tell it to. I don’t want to upset Cyral. He misses his father enough without seeing me crying. There are a few of us left, some who managed to survive the attack, but we’re all so filled up with trying to keep mouths fed. Wellan, one of the neighbors down the way, went off to help in Morten’s army, but that only made things harder for Marny and their four little ones. As it turns out, Morten didn’t give payment. Marny and the kids are in a bad way, and Wellan hasn’t returned.”

  “Can’t he go complain to the king?”

  Raseen shook her head. “It’s best to leave Morten alone.”

  “I’ve heard he’s bad news.”

  She looked like she wanted to say something but moved on. “I just keep making my baskets and trading for meat and seeds when I can. But it’s hard. I’ve got a chicken and a rooster from before, so every few days I get an egg out of her. There are a few berries out in the forest. I need to make sure Cyral gets enough food to grow into the young man he’s meant to be.”

  “What a difficult time for you, having to keep things going for your boy.”

  She stared at the ground. “We do what we have to.”

  I wondered what she’d had to do.

  “Dr. Cecilia, we’re all experiencing difficulty. We need so much help right now, and I’m hearing whispers of revolt. During the trilunar celebration, no other villages came. The holy spirits were silent because they only talk with the true king.”

  I frowned. “Who is the true king?”

  “Never say this aloud,” she warned quietly, “because it would get you killed, but Kraggon Dragmor should have taken his rightful place years ago. Ral’e refuses to step down, and when there is rumor that some are talking out against the king, they disappear. You should know this. Eyes and ears everywhere. Some who are living within this village turn on their neighbors in exchange for food. And when there is no news to share, they make it up so they can still be given something for their families.”

  “Oh, Raseen.” How could a village survive under those circumstances? I could understand the drive to want to keep your children alive, but what a horrible position to be in. “I can’t even begin to understand the pain you all must be feeling every single day.”

  “We’re coming to a head. I can feel it. There’s so much anger, it takes very little for the people to become violent. When I hear the talk, I walk away. I have to be here for Cyral. I can’t be associated with those who would revolt, though I appreciate the risks they take.”

  “Of course not.”

  She put her work back on the table. “I got to thinking that maybe if you used that place in town here that the other healer tried to set up, at least we could get some help from you. After our talk this morning, I even walked down the street to see if the healer’s room still had materials, and it did.”

  “The other healer set up a room?”

  “He did. He wanted to help, but then he disappeared.”

  Or died.

  “Please, let me show you.”

  Raseen had already walked out onto the main street. With determined steps, she marched up the way at a surprisingly fast clip. We passed the street where Tarra had gone, and I hoped she didn’t come looking for me at that point. Then we turned a corner of a side street just outside the gates of the palace. It was on the corner and had windows.

  Reluctantly, I followed her into the building. It was a good size. There was an examination table, a curtain to pull for privacy and shelves that had some basic materials. In awe—because how the hell did they get all this stuff here—I found gauze, ointments, some over-the-counter painkillers, a few vaccines, vitamins...it was a treasure trove of tools for promoting good health. Would this help cure cancer? No, but it could help provide comfort and care. Education on things like how to avoid illness and disease would be easily accessible. This was the kind of place I’d conceived of creating in Ecuador. A simple clinic with materials enough and education enough to help make people’s lives better.

  But I was going home. I didn’t want to get anyone’s hopes up.

  “Raseen, there’s no way to have any kind of exams here because the whole place is unsanitary. Trash and God knows what else is being tossed out in the streets, and it’s only a matter of time before the germs created by all of this refuse turn into some horrific illness that becomes widespread. You’re worried about your health, then as a health professional, I have to say that the trash needs to be cleaned up. Collect it, burn it, compost your food scraps to make rich soil that can grow healthy foods, but it cannot be in the streets.”

  “Are you going to be like them?” It wasn’t just the tired in her voice, but the acceptance that yet someone else was going to turn their back on her.

  “Like who?” But I knew. I’d seen the lack of response myself.

  “The king and the soldiers. It’s like they’ve all forgotten about us. And Tarra, the princess of the palace, sits on top of the tower looking down on us. She already has you in one of her dresses.”

  Sounded like Tarra was not well-liked. “Raseen, it’s not like that.”

  “Then what’s it like?”

  Frustration made my gut burn because
I wanted to be able to help her, but this wasn’t my problem. How was this my problem? Goddamm it! We were all dying every day, and damn it, I just got here!

  But her eyes were the same as the woman whose husband died on his motorcycle back on Earth. They had a lifetime of change to deal with, and there was no hope that anything good was going to happen. I could see she was in a bad way, but I begged for understanding. “Raseen, I was kidnapped. I have nothing. I know nothing about you and your people. I’m not from here.”

  “I know. I saw you try to escape this morning.” She looked down at her hands releasing some of her frustration on a sigh. “I know it’s not right, it just seemed like you were an answer to our prayers. It takes strong women to nurture a people back to health. The rest of us are sick and losing more health every day.”

  I sighed and looked around the room. It had potential, but I couldn’t seriously think of helping people at a clinic. That would just smack of surrender. “If you guys can get the trash off the streets, I’ll think about what I can possibly do to help you. Maybe I could teach you about some of these things.”

  “But you don’t want to be here.”

  “Can you blame me? My family is back home, worried out of their minds. They have no idea what happened to me.”

  “Well, if nothing else, maybe you can help us for as long as you’re here.”

  “That I can do. And I can start by saying that the number one cause of illness is infection. You all need a system of disposal so that you can efficiently get rid of all waste.”

  “I’ll have a talk with some of the people.” She nodded decisively. “We need to get this place working again. I want my boy to have a chance to grow up.”

  “Hello? You are here! Cyral told me the healer was in, and I thought I’d come by and see for myself, make sure my baby is doing all right. I live just a few doors down.” An overripe belly preceded a dark-haired woman through the front door. She swayed a moment, all of her weight in her belly, and leaned against the doorframe, her energy reserves on empty.