Dreams of a Wild Heart

by Danube Adele

  “Zee-ro,” I giggled, but even my giggle was in a vacuum. I felt less solid. Less real.

  “That’s good. I need to look for damage, Bradford. See if anything is torn except your hide.”

  “Good thing you’re a doctor.” I looked up at Tabron. He looked...scared. Ohhhh... “It’s okay, Viking. You’re about to get your life back.”

  “Ceci...”

  “No, really. I knew about this. Carlos told me.”

  “When did you talk to him?”

  “Today. He said I would have a choice to make.” I gave a sound of exasperation. “So this is the moment.”

  “What do you think he meant?”

  “Whether I live or die. I can feel it. I can feel myself not quite in my body.”

  “It’s the medicine, Ceci. Isn’t it, Sandburg? The medicine is making her feel this way?”

  Sandburg just gave Tabron a somber look. “She’s lost a lot of blood, and she’s still bleeding from somewhere. I can’t find it.”

  “Find it!”

  “Do you want to do this? It takes some goddamn finesse, so back off. I’m doing what I can.”

  “Calm yourself, Tabron.” Kraggon’s voice had a soothing quality to it. No wonder he was the king. He was a good, caring person. Tayla would be proud.

  I looked at Tabron sadly. “See?”

  “You stay with me, Ceci. Stay with me!” Tabron looked fierce, his beautiful eyes gleaming with a sheen of moisture as he looked down at me.

  “But it hurts. My body hurts too much.” I blinked a few times and saw that Carlos was standing behind everyone. “My friend is here to take care of me. I can see him. He’s right there!” I pointed over everyone’s shoulders.

  Brek and Kraggon looked around sharply.

  “Don’t worry. He can’t hurt you. He’s dead.” I smiled at Carlos and received his playful smile back with a little two-fingered salute.

  Have you decided? He was sort of hanging out, watching Sandburg, who was frantically looking for holes that he could suture with his stolen materials.

  “Right now?” I asked him.

  I’ve got places to go, cool places to show you.

  “But I’m not sure.”

  “Who’s she talking to?” Corimat asked.

  “You cannot go with him. You can’t!” Tabron growled close to my face. “Love him, miss him, but stay with me!”

  “But why? It would make everything so much easier.”

  You’d be amazed by the universe, Ceci. There are so many beautiful sights to see. I’d love to explore it with you.

  “Carlos, can we ride the tail of a comet?”

  He laughed with delight. Only you would think of that, C. Honestly.

  Tabron cupped my cheek, capturing my attention. “But he doesn’t have your heart, Ceci. I own your heart.”

  “But you don’t want it.”

  “That’s not true. When I was gone from you, it made me realize how I’ve been living with fear and sorrow. I didn’t want you to have power over me.”

  “What’s different?”

  “I need you. You aren’t like her, and I’m not like him. I was more fearful of not having you in my life. I was fearful that you were going to leave and never look back. I was fearful that if I didn’t hold on with both arms, you were going to drift away forever, and I would never again feel the joy I feel when I’m with you.”

  “But what if you change your mind?”

  “I can’t, beautiful girl. I discovered something.”

  “What?”

  “You belong to me.”

  “I do?”

  “And you know what else?”

  Tears were welling in my eyes. “What?”

  “I belong to you.”

  They fell down my cheeks. “You do. I know you do.”

  Carlos gave me his most joyful grin, and it was like it spread from the inside out and surrounded him with brilliant light. He was beginning to fade.

  I gave him a smile. “Did you know?”

  I knew. It’s what I’ve always wanted for you.

  “Thank you, Carlos.”

  Until the next go around, C.

  “We’ll make a better frog pond.”

  I’m counting on it.

  And he was gone. I knew I wasn’t going to see him again in this life, but he was happy. And now, so was I. I wasn’t sure how this was all going to work out, but Sandburg was going to fix me right up, and we’d have to see.

  “Found it!” Sandburg threw a few more stitches in. “Water! Let’s clean up and see if she’s got any other bleeds.”

  I felt the heat of the water splash on me, more gauze soaking up the moisture.

  “I think it’s good.” Sandburg took a deep breath. “Let’s close her up. Make sure we don’t leave any of that gauze behind. You’ve got to reach your hand in there, Tabron, and make sure. I need to start a line. We need to transfer some of my blood to her. Quick. She’s lost a lot.”

  Tabron looked at my wound and confirmed that there was nothing left inside. Sandburg had the sutures ready and started to sew me up.

  “Do those stay in there forever?” Kraggon asked.

  “They dissolve with time. The ones on the outside will have to come out in a few weeks. Bradford will know when, and Tabron can help her out with that.”

  It took time for Sandburg to draw his own blood, and by the time he had a line inserted into my arm, my eyes were about to close.

  “She needs to rest now,” Sandburg was saying. “I’m going to give her more pain meds so she can sleep better.”

  “Close your eyes, my beautiful girl.” Tabron brushed the hair off my forehead.

  “Don’t go away,” I croaked, blinking to keep him focused.

  “I’ll be right here, watching over you.”

  His hand covered mine, and I fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.

  Chapter Nineteen

  My body protested the moment my eyes opened. My face felt puffy and sore, one eye was swollen, my abdomen throbbed with this lovely pulsing burn, and my throat felt like the damned Sahara. Taking a deep breath, I tried to speak, but my throat rasped painfully.

  “Ceci?” It was Tabron. He’d been resting near me.

  I gave a pitiful groan.

  “You’ve been asleep for so long.” He sat up and ran a hand over my forehead with a soft touch. I tried to open my eyes again and found it didn’t sting so badly. Besides, I really wanted to see him.

  “Time?” I croaked.

  “Almost noon.” He looked haggard. Bags under his eyes, lines creasing his forehead and around his mouth. Anxiously, he searched my face.

  “You didn’t sleep?” I lifted a heavy hand to cup his whiskered cheek, needing to touch him, needing to feel grounded. There was dried blood covering a few of my fingers. I started to pull my hand away, but he quickly reached up and held it there. He closed his eyes against emotion that suddenly had him swallowing. When he looked at me again, his eyes were moist, but they were on me, connecting to me.

  The warmth of his stare reached out to me, enveloped me and held me safe. “I couldn’t sleep and risk you slipping away from me.”

  The surge of tenderness that touched my heart made my eyes burn. “Didn’t Sandburg tell you I was going to be all right?”

  “I needed to make sure.” He turned to kiss my palm and took hold of my hand. He needed my touch as much as I needed his.

  “You need rest, Viking.”

  He gave a slight shake of his head. “There’s time for that later.”

  “Is there water?”

  “Hang on, Bradford.” Sandburg was coming back into the cave with a couple of fish hanging from his homemade net. “Let me check you out, and then you can ge
t a few sips, see if it stays down.”

  He washed his hands using the purified water that hung over his campfire in a basin. Over his shoulder, he said, “I’ve been pushing the antibiotics all night. You shouldn’t have any infection.”

  “She slept peacefully,” Tabron reported, keeping his eyes on mine, almost like he was afraid I was going to disappear.

  Sandburg came to me and gently lifted the blanket off my body. He checked my eyes, my pulse rate and my wound. “Like I said. No infection. If you need some meds to kill the pain, I can give you some of what I gave you last night.”

  “Not now. I just need water. And to get clean. I’m such a mess.”

  Sandburg stood back up and looked down at me with consideration. “I don’t want you walking just yet. You’ll tear the stitches. You’re going to need to stay down for a couple of days.”

  Tabron quickly offered, “Can I carry her to the stream? I can be gentle.”

  Sandburg nodded. “That’s fine, but sponge bath only. Don’t let her get in.”

  “All right.” Tabron accepted scraps of cloth that Sandburg handed him, also grabbing a large drying cloth.

  “I’ll have some fish cooking when you get back.”

  I was given a good gulp of water, which Sandburg said was enough. Then Tabron was lifting me in the blanket that had been wrapped around me. He was so careful to move without jostling me as he stepped over the rocks. The sound of the river grew louder, the smell of the air sweeter and, closing my eyes, I lifted my face to the sunlight, letting it warm my face.

  “I’m going to put you right here.” Tabron had stopped by a clearing on the bank. There was a short stretch of sandy bank where he was able to lower me down gently. Taking the cloth that he’d been given, he reached over and wetted it before putting it to my face. I flinched, and he pulled it away quickly.

  “It’s okay. It just surprised me.” I felt self-conscious. “I must look a mess. I can feel my face is swollen.”

  Tabron’s jaw clenched, and he carefully cleaned the area that was swollen around my brow and lip. “I want to kill Draxton again.”

  “He’s dead enough now. Where is everyone?”

  With soft strokes, he rewet the material in the cool water and continued cleaning my face. “Kraggon, Corimat and Brek left early this morning to look into how one of the other villages are faring. They will be returning. Bruner and Tarra went back to the palace to see what the fallout has been since last night.”

  “Everything is coming to a head.” I wondered what would happen with us. Remembering Cynthia’s trick, I concentrated on a thick brick wall in my mind, feeling the need for some privacy. The previous night, Tabron had said some things, I thought, but I’d also been on heavy drugs. Were we going to remain together or not? And if so, what would that look like? But I didn’t have it in me to ask. It seemed that I only had enough energy to lay there and let Tabron care for me.

  “How did you know to come?”

  “The king seemed not in his right mind when he ordered us to ride the perimeter, but it was right after our morning together, and my mind was distracted.” He scowled, thinking about it. “I should have known. Then the wolfing came to camp, was growling something fierce. When I saw him, I knew he was trying to warn me. Did they attack you in the night?”

  “I stayed in Tarra’s room. It had a lock on it. They caught me alone because I was out here looking for Sandburg.”

  Tabron pulled the blanket down, exposing my breasts and belly. His eyes lingered on the welts before tracing down to the wound that had several black threads crisscrossing over it. He leaned down to press his face into the hollow of my shoulder “I’m so glad you found him. Sandburg. Without him...” He couldn’t bring himself to finish the thought.

  “It’s all right.”

  “We all thought he’d died.”

  “That’s what he wanted everyone to think.” I suddenly remembered what I’d found the afternoon before. “There’s a mass grave where bodies are being dumped up in the forest. He found it because it was where he was dumped. The boy we rescued, Jonell, is there. Why the men wanted to get rid of him so quickly is still a puzzle to me.”

  “Draxton was also a bastard. He could have done it for spite.”

  That was also true. It felt strange to think this, especially being a doctor, but I was glad Draxton was gone. He’d been about to hurt me, and had already hurt others. “So I can imagine that you rode hard to get back?”

  He closed his eyes briefly. “They were the longest hours. I knew there was something happening, but I didn’t know what. Tarra caught sight of me coming back to town. She was looking for Bruner to save you. She told me how to transfer.”

  “So you were able to transfer to me.” I thought back to how Tarra would have known. “Tayla must have found her. She came down under the pretext of providing dinner, and informed Morten that his father was ready to eat. Morten thought he’d killed his father.”

  “Our nation is pure sickness, and I’m sorry I ever brought you here.”

  “I’m not. I would go through it all again to meet you.”

  It was while we were finishing up a light meal that Kraggon and his men returned. They declined to eat, but sat with us and shared news of the village they’d gone to.

  “Suffering. All of them have little to eat, and Ral’e has done nothing for them. Some have a sickness with red sores all over their bodies.” Kraggon’s anger was fierce.

  “They were all relieved to see you.” Brek nodded with encouragement.

  “Not all.” Corimat shook his head. “Most. There could still be some trouble from men Ral’e has posted there.”

  “They will be easy enough to handle,” Brek stated with dark intent.

  “They have been part of the problem.” Kraggon scrubbed a hand over his whiskers, looking tired. “Any of the villagers who have complained or tried to raise awareness of problems have suffered or disappeared completely.”

  “St. Anthony’s Fire.” Sandburg suddenly nodded. “The ones with the open sores. I saw a few of them. It took me some time to figure it out, but then I realized the conditions they live in are similar to the period of time on Earth called the Middle Ages. One of the problems they had at that time was ergot poisoning. A particular fungus grows on grain stocks within moist conditions, but they don’t remove it before processing their grain and cooking with it.”

  “You’ve seen this before?” Kraggon questioned.

  “Only in the history books.” Sandburg shrugged. “All of our first-world nations closely regulate food production. Anyway, it can cause open sores, hallucination, constriction of circulation to extremities, so some could even lose fingers and toes. It’s bad. They just need to keep their crops regulated.”

  Kraggon seemed puzzled. “We didn’t have this problem before. I think many of the farmers are new to the art and aren’t sure of what to do. They need advice.”

  “That they do. It can kill. Particularly if they’re providing this wheat to anyone else.” Sandburg finished off the last of his fish and started to pick up after the meal, righting his cave.

  “Will you come with me to inform them?” Kraggon asked.

  “Sure. Let me know when.”

  “Do we know what’s happening with Bruner and Tarra?”

  Tabron spoke up. “They should be back after the evening meal with news. Until then, Ceci needs to rest.”

  “We’ll be back then. I’m sure my queen is worried that I’ve not returned. Maybe then we can talk about what you all would like to do going forth. There’s plenty of room in my camp for all of you and more besides.”

  “Let’s discuss that tonight.” Tabron looked to me. “Ceci and I have much to discuss.”

  It wasn’t long after Kraggon left that Sandburg went off about his business, muttering something about
a new discovery he’d made and wanted to check on. We were left alone and Tabron faced me, a determined look on his face.

  “We need to get you back to Earth, Ceci. There are too many ways to die, and I couldn’t stand to see you hurt again as you are now.”

  “Don’t be silly. To avoid this kind of injury, I just need to stay away from the palace and Ral’e’s henchmen.”

  “Morten can get to you with a simple transfer.”

  “On Earth, that was all it took. Absolute safety is an illusion. Carlos died in front of the movie theater. I was taken from a public place. I won’t hide away, afraid to live my life.”

  “I would come with you to Earth.”

  “You would?” That was a surprise. “Is it what you would want to do?”

  There was hesitation in his eyes. “I have a need to be with you, and I have a need to see you safe. Why? Are you willing to stay here?”

  That was the question. I couldn’t not see my family again. But what would Tabron be allowed to do on Earth? He was an artist and a warrior. There would be no joy for him there. Where the hell were the other choices? There had to be another way.

  “We’ll figure it out,” he said, seeing the dejection on my face.

  The rest of the afternoon was spent with further rest. Tabron needed to catch up on his missed sleep, and I was still in recovery mode. When it was time for dinner, we ate more fish and had native fruit that resembled smaller, softer apples. Sandburg said they grew in abundance just a short hike down the river. Shortly after, Bruner and Tarra arrived, followed by the brilliant blue light of Kraggon’s transfer.

  “The king is still living,” Bruner announced. “Morten has convinced him that Dr. Cecilia tried to kill him. If she is found by any of the warriors, she’s supposed to be brought in for public hanging. They’re mounting a search party to find her, and plan to start with the forest and work their way down to the gorge.”

  Sandburg heaved a sigh. “When does the party start?”

  “Before first light,” Tarra said quietly.

  “They will be in for a surprise when they show up.” Tabron’s voice went deadly. “I was loyal until they proved they had no honor. Any who come this way will die by my sword.”