by Kat Mizera
Wednesday’s game against St. Louis was absolute shit, Toli thought as he skated off the ice and walked back to the locker room. He’d been off his game and the rest of the team seemed to be equally off-kilter. He and Tessa had had an epic argument this afternoon on the phone and she’d hung up on him; that had never happened since they’d met and it bothered him. While he knew she was upset that he’d left on this trip, he’d lost his patience with her today when she’d fired yet another nanny. He didn’t understand why she was determined to find fault with all of them; she needed the help and it was getting on his nerves that she apparently only wanted help from him.
“What the hell is up your ass?” his friend and teammate Dom Gianni asked him as they got dressed.
“Tessa and I had a fight.”
“How much of a fight?” Dom met his eyes worriedly because everyone knew Toli never fought with his wife. Never. He and Tessa were ridiculously romantic and they simply didn’t fight. They’d had a huge misunderstanding on their honeymoon that had almost ended in divorce and after making up had promised each other they would never fight; they talked everything out, so hearing that they’d fought while she was pregnant was concerning.
“I snapped at her, she called me an asshole and hung up.” Toli made a face. “I don’t understand how she could fire another nanny. This is the fourth or fifth one.”
“She called Raina a little bitch,” Dom said quietly.
Toli’s mouth fell open. “The nanny?!”
He nodded.
“Fuck.” Toli rested his head against the wall. “She didn’t tell me that. How do you know?”
“Tessa had a pretty epic tantrum, and Zakk and Tiff weren’t home, so she called Molly.” Molly was Dom’s wife.
“Why didn’t Molly call me?” Toli demanded. Molly was his next closest friend after Zakk. They’d been close since they’d first met and being married to others hadn’t changed that.
“Because Tessa asked her not to.” Dom sighed. “I think you need to go home, Toli. Tessa’s a mess.”
Toli made a face. “Dom, there’s nothing wrong. The doctor said she’s fine physically. I know it’s a lot of work, but we have enough money for her to hire all the help she needs. I’m not going home simply because she prefers me to be there instead of a nanny.”
Dom narrowed his eyes. “Dude. She’s your wife. She’s eight months pregnant carrying your third kid in less than four years. Do you hear yourself?”
Toli sighed and ran a frustrated hand through his short blond hair. “I know! Dammit, don’t you think I feel guilty enough? I need to fix this, don’t I?”
“You do.” Dom nodded.
Tessa was on the couch enjoying the quiet now that the kids were all asleep. It had been the longest day ever, starting with the nanny calling Raina a bitch followed by a fight with Toli like they’d never had before. She’d never hung up on him and they’d never had a disagreement where he hadn’t called right back. This was new and she was distraught by the way he’d immediately assumed it was her fault that something had happened with yet another nanny. Didn’t he understand that it took someone special to take care of their children? Didn’t he care?
Tonight the pain in her back was more intense, and she struggled to get comfortable as she watched the clock, wondering if Toli would call at all or if they were both going to be stubborn. She was eight months pregnant; she wasn’t going to be the one to call this time, and if he felt the same way, he was in for a hell of a surprise when he got home in four days. If he thought she would forgive him for treating her this way—
The ringing phone cut off her thoughts and tears filled her eyes when she saw her husband’s name on the screen of her phone. She answered guiltily.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered immediately.
“I’m sorry too,” he whispered back. “Tell me what happened.”
“She called my baby a bitch because she complained about the way she tied the ribbon in her hair.” Her voice caught. “She called a six-year-old a spoiled little bitch, Toli. I almost lost my mind.”
“I know, sweetheart.” He shook his head. “Did you tell the agency?”
“What do you think?” Tessa sighed. “She was horrible. Raina cried for an hour.”
“I’m sorry, love. Would you like me to call too?”
“No, I handled it. We won’t be using that agency anymore.”
“Okay.” He hesitated. “I’m sorry I jumped to the wrong conclusion.”
“Toli, why don’t you believe me when I say I don’t feel right?” Tessa fought off tears as she asked him the question that had been on her mind for days. “Why do you think I’m faking this?”
“I don’t think you’re faking,” he said slowly. “You’ve just never done this before and I’m not sure why.”
“Maybe because I’ve never felt so awful before?”
He was quiet for a few seconds. “Tell me what you want me to do.”
“You already did what you wanted to do, so at this point what I want doesn’t matter anymore.”
“But the doctor said you’re fine,” he protested. “Zakk and Tiff have been helping and—”
“And you’re free to play hockey. Got it. I love you, Toli, but I can’t fight with you twice in one day. I just don’t have it in me. I’ll talk to you in the morning when I’m not so hurt. Good night.” She disconnected and burst into tears. Hormones were a bitch and her husband was definitely not helping.
4
Zakk was in the garage working on his motorcycle when he caught a glimpse Raina’s pink sneakers coming his direction. He sat up and smiled over at her but frowned when he saw the look on her face.
“Jazzy?”
“Does your mom need me to take you to school, darlin’?”
She shook her head. “Jazzy, you need to come. Something’s wrong with Mommy.”
Zakk got to his feet in alarm. “What happened?”
“She’s in the bathroom and won’t open the door and both babies are crying.”
Zakk had a bad feeling in his gut as he ran across the street at full speed, racing through the house and up the stairs. He heard the boys screaming at the top of their lungs from their cribs as he burst into Tessa’s room.
“Tessa?” The door to the master bathroom was closed and he hesitated. “Tessa!”
She didn’t answer and finally he tried the door. It was locked and he looked around in frustration. He didn’t know if there was a key anywhere and the fact that she wasn’t answering scared him. Without hesitation, he looked at Raina. “Honey, I need you to go get Aunt Tiff, okay?”
She nodded and turned to run back down the stairs.
Taking a breath, Zakk put the full weight of his chest and shoulders into the door, shattering the wood. He froze at the sight of Tessa on the floor in a pool of blood. “Oh God,” he whispered. He knelt beside her, feeling for a pulse.
“My babies,” she whispered, her voice barely discernible over the crying.
“They’re okay,” he murmured, lifting her in his arms. He pulled a towel off the shelf and put it under her as he carried her down the stairs. Tiff and Raina were just coming in and he met his wife’s eyes purposefully.
“Let’s go get the boys,” Tiff immediately turned to Raina.
“Mommy!” Raina’s frightened eyes took in her mother’s limp body.
“I’m okay,” Tessa whispered. “I don’t feel very good and need to go to the doctor. Go help Aunt Tiff with your brothers.”
“Tessa, we need to go to the hospital,” Zakk said softly when Tiff and Raina were out of earshot.
She nodded. “I knew something was wrong.” Her eyes fluttered closed as the boys finally stopped crying.
Pacing in the hospital waiting room, Zakk got out his phone and tried to call Toli. It went straight to voicemail and he opted not to send him a text; if they were on the ice, he wouldn’t see it for a while anyway. Frustrated, looked around, he wasn’t sure what to do. He, Toli, Tiff and Tessa were close. The
y babysat for each other, socialized together, vacationed together, and of course he and Toli worked together. Their closeness extended to their significant others so Toli and Tiff had a relationship as did he and Tessa.
Zakk had been so happy when Toli had met her, thinking she was smart, beautiful and just shy enough to bring out the best in his quirky, extroverted friend. Teasing the two of them about their sex life back when they’d still been dating and he and Toli had been roommates had been incredible fun, so now that they were married he still teased Tessa. She always laughed, and occasionally still turned red, but he loved the fact that he genuinely liked his best friend’s wife, and vice versa.
Seeing her lying there in a pool of blood had freaked him out, and he felt a little guilty now since he’d thought maybe she really was exaggerating because she wanted Toli to stay home with her. Just because she’d never done it before didn’t mean this couldn’t be the first time, and now he felt like a jerk.
“Mr. Petrov?” A nurse came out and Zakk spun around. “Are you Zakk?” she asked.
He nodded without thinking.
“Tessa’s asking for you and they’re about to put her under.”
“Oh, shit.” Zakk followed the woman and was shocked to see Tessa being prepped for surgery. “What happened?” he asked the doctor who was standing beside her.
“She’s had a placental abruption,” the doctor said. “We’re waiting for Dr. Diaz to get here, but she’s stuck in traffic and we may have to proceed without her. I can’t get the bleeding to stop and the baby’s heartbeat has slowed considerably.”
Zakk’s eyes flew to Tessa, who was reaching for his hand. He took it and squeezed hard. “I haven’t been able to get a hold of Toli,” he said quietly. “But I’ll find him.”
“Zakk, if something happens…”
“Nothing’s going to happen,” he said quickly. “You’re going to be fine.”
“Listen to me,” she rasped. “Raina—I don’t want her to go to her father’s family. Please, make sure Toli fights to keep her with him. Promise me, Zakk.”
“I promise,” he whispered, swallowing hard.
“And tell my babies I love them.” Her eyes met his.
He nodded, tears unexpectedly welling up in his eyes. This wasn’t supposed to be happening. Tessa was young and healthy; the pregnancy had been fine until now. He didn’t understand this at all.
One of the machines started beeping and the doctor motioned with his hand. “We have to go. The bleeding has become more than a little problematic. We’re going to deliver the baby, and if we can’t stop the bleeding, we’ll have to do a hysterectomy.”
Zakk just nodded. “Do whatever you have to do, just take care of her.”
“Zakk…” Tessa eyes were closing and her grip loosened.
She let go of his hand as she dozed off and the doctor turned to Zakk. “I’ll keep you posted, Mr. Petrov.”
Zakk opened his mouth to protest that he wasn’t Mr. Petrov but nothing came out and he watched helplessly as they wheeled her toward the surgical area. Swallowing hard, he walked back to the waiting room and called Toli again.
Toli had just charged his phone and answered abruptly. “Zakk?”
“Tessa’s in surgery,” Zakk said hurriedly. “You need to come home now.”
“Surgery?! What happened?”
Zakk told him as much as he knew. “They might have to do a hysterectomy, man. The bleeding is bad…”
“Dammit!” Toli got up and started to pace. “I’m still in Chicago—we’re snowed in. I can’t get a flight.”
“Toli, it’s bad. She asked me to tell you that she loves you.”
Toli’s voice was hollow as he tried to talk. “It’s so bad that she gave you a message for me?”
“They can’t stop the bleeding.”
Toli didn’t say anything at first. “Where are my children?” he managed to ask.
“Tiff’s with them, and she said Rachel is going over there to help since she’s in town.” Rachel was married to Vladimir Kolnikov, Toli’s half-brother as well as one of their teammates.
“I have to go,” Toli whispered. “I have to try to find a flight. Keep me posted.”
With seven kids between them, there was no way for Tiff to leave them so she could be at the hospital. Instead, she stayed in constant contact with Zakk as the hours passed. Eventually Dr. Diaz came out to tell Zakk that the baby had been delivered and Tessa was resting. They’d been unable to stop the bleeding and had eventually done the hysterectomy they’d hoped to avoid. Tessa was still asleep, but she would let Zakk know when he could see her. Pausing for a moment, because Dr. Diaz had delivered his and Tiff’s children and she knew Zakk personally, she frowned in confusion.
“Zakk, where is Toli?”
“He can’t get a flight out of Chicago because of the storm.”
“Tessa is still in very serious condition. She lost so much blood—we may have to do a transfusion.”
“Do whatever she needs. I can get Toli on the phone to verify that I have permission to make decisions.”
Dr. Diaz nodded. “No worries, Zakk. I know the relationship between the four of you. I just think Toli needs to get here as soon as possible.”
“He’s trying,” Zakk felt a little sick as he spoke. “But she’s going to be okay now, right?”
“I hope so. She’s very weak and I’m concerned about infection. With so much blood loss and the surgery, she’s at risk for complications.”
“I trust you,” he said. “We all do.”
She nodded. “Once Tessa is out of recovery, we’ll put her in a regular room. Do you think she’ll want the baby in with her?”
Zakk sighed. “I’ll be with her until Toli gets here, so for now, yes. I think she’ll want to see him.”
“Okay.” Dr. Diaz touched his arm. “I’ll let you know when she’s awake.”
He nodded.
5
Toli got home more than twenty-four hours after Tessa’s surgery and the birth of their third child together. He went straight to the hospital even though he desperately needed a shower and wanted to see his other children. He’d been in constant contact with Zakk, but he hadn’t been able to talk to Tessa; she hadn’t woken up yet. At least Dr. Diaz had called and reassured him that she was okay, just very weak, and it was better to let her sleep. He was trying to stay positive, but not hearing his wife’s voice for two days had been almost more than he could bear.
Now, he rocked his newborn son in his arms and watched his wife sleep as he battled the dark thoughts in his mind. She’d fallen about three weeks ago, slid on the bottom step of the stairs and landed hard on her butt. She’d had Andy in her arms, so she’d taken the fall instead of risking a chance she would drop him, but she’d seemed okay at the time. Toli had been at practice, and when he’d gotten home he’d taken her to see Dr. Diaz. She’d been relatively sure everything was okay since the baby’s heartbeat was steady and everything looked good. They’d been told to keep an eye out for bleeding or anything out of the ordinary, but there hadn’t been any signs that the placenta had been jolted hard enough to dislodge it.
When Tessa started to complain she didn’t feel good, neither of them had made the connection and now he felt like an utter idiot. They’d known she’d fallen, but because there hadn’t been any immediate signs of trouble, it didn’t occur to either of them that it would start gradually. He didn’t know if he would ever forgive himself for ignoring her complaints and thinking she’d been hormonal and cranky. He never should have gone on this last trip; she’d asked him not to and he’d been selfish. He’d been thinking about his career instead of his wife and he’d promised himself he would never do that.
The problem was that Tessa wasn’t like most of the other wives. She never complained, ever, and he always came home to a smiling, happy woman who couldn’t wait to make love with him and spend time together as a family. While she definitely took time for herself when he was home, she was still about as re
laxed and easy-going as any woman he’d ever known. She relished her role as his wife and the mother of their children, and their home was always filled with music, laughter, good food and even better friends.
Sighing heavily, he looked down at the baby in his arms and felt a mixture of love and guilt. This child had been an accident, the product of the out-of-control passion that always existed between them. He’d been so caught up in the woman he loved, he’d forgotten all about his promise to take care of birth control until they decided if they were finished with kids. This pregnancy had been hard on her, and instead of pampering her, he’d acted as though everything was business as usual. He wouldn’t be surprised if she was furious at him; he deserved it.
His phone buzzed in his pocket and his brother’s name flash on the screen. Putting the baby in the bassinet, he answered quietly as he stepped into the hall.
“Hey, Sergei.”
“Congratulations,” his brother said. “Why didn’t you let me know the baby had come?”
Toli sighed and told him what had happened. “I fucked up. I don’t even know what to say to her.”
“Tessa loves you,” Sergei said firmly. “You might have to grovel, but she’s going to forgive you.”
“What if I don’t forgive me?” he asked. “She almost died, Sergei. And she still hasn’t even really woken up. She knows I’m here, but she hasn’t held the baby or anything…”
“She had major surgery. It takes times.”
“I know.” Toli leaned against the wall. “I’ve got so much to do—we need a nanny right away and I can’t leave her again until she’s feeling better but the team needs me too.”
“Is there anything I can do?” Sergei asked slowly.
“You have a family of your own,” Toli said.
“If I can find a break in the schedule, I’ll fly out…” Sergei said softly.