Fire Dancer

by Catherine Jones Payne

  The peal of a bell sounded in my head. Her paleness. Her nausea. She’d been married six months. Something in me already knew the truth, but I asked anyway. “Why?”

  She gave me a weak smile. “I’m pregnant.”

  Chapter Five

  I sucked in a gasp of the cool night air. “Pregnant? That’s wonderful!” Then I stopped, searching her face. “Are you happy?”

  She clasped the back of her neck and leaned up against my shoulder. “Aye. I . . . I think so. I’m happy about the baby. Not about . . . everything.”

  I wrapped my arms around her, feeling the tension in her shoulders. “You don’t want to give up dancing.”

  She shook her head and burst into tears.

  “Oh, Breanna.” I cradled her close and leaned over to kiss the top of her head. “I’m so sorry.”

  After a shuddering sob, she said between hiccups, “Don’t . . . be sorry. It’s . . . happy. A baby.” She choked on the last word.

  “Hey.” I dug my toes into the grass to try to push down my own surge of emotion. “You have months and months to be happy about it. It’s okay to feel unsure right now.”

  She sat up, the sobs still shaking her shoulders, and wiped her eyes. Her dramatic dance makeup smeared across her face like she was a raccoon bandit. Mine was probably just as mussed.

  “How far along are you?” I rubbed her back.

  “A couple months. I think.”

  “Does Darick know yet?”

  She nodded, and this time her voice quavered but didn’t break. “I couldn’t cry in front of him. He was so happy. I’ve never seen him so happy.”

  I squeezed her hand, and we lay down side by side in the grass, staring up at the night sky. At the constellations. Just like we used to as children.

  After a little while, I said, “I know he was equally happy on your wedding day.”

  She sniffled, and a bitter laugh escaped her throat. “I want to be a mama. I want to have children. Build a life and a family with Darick. But . . . there’s just so much I’m giving up. And I don’t know if I’m ready for that yet. But it doesn’t matter, because it’s here.” Then a long pause. “Guess you’ll get to audition for Phoenix sooner rather than later.”

  The idea took hold of me, tingling all the way to my fingers and toes, but I didn’t let on. Not when her loss was so fresh. There would be a time to throw myself into preparation for the audition. But not tonight.

  “You can dance for at least another month,” I said. “Maybe two.”

  She sat up and brushed the dirt off her dress. Then she stared down at me. “Two. I’m determined to dance two more months. Which means we have just one month to get you ready for the audition. You’re going to be the next Phoenix.”

  I pulled myself into a seated position. “I hope so,” I said. “But you know that Shayla is the favorite. She’s already your understudy.”

  She shook her head, and in the light of the stars and the torches and the fluttering phoenixflies, her face took on a deadly serious cast. “I don’t care that Shayla’s papa is the thane. Or that she’s the understudy. I know Deirdre defers to Shayla sometimes because of her family connections, but deep down, Deirdre wants to run the most spectacular show in the land. She wants everyone to talk about her dancers. She’s exacting. And I think she’ll select the best dancer for the role.”

  That didn’t comfort me. Shayla and I had such different strengths. Who knew whom Deirdre would like more? And even if Deirdre liked me more, surely the council would prefer the thane’s daughter.

  She stood up. “Let’s go inside. I want to tell Mama and Papa.”

  “Deirdre doesn’t love me,” I mumbled through gritted teeth as I stood.

  “Well,” said Breanna—and now there were no traces of tears in her voice, though her eyes were still puffy—“we have a month to change her mind.”

  “Control!” called Deirdre as we leaped through the air, practicing our jetés. “Don’t lose your form. Pointed toes!”

  The practice tent was getting hot and humid. Even the violinist in the corner had a trickle of sweat running down his face. I bit back the stream of retorts that rose to the edge of my tongue. Baiting Deirdre was never a good idea, and it certainly wouldn’t be smart now that I was going to audition for Phoenix in a month.

  Breanna had seemed more content by the time she left Mama and Papa’s tent to return to Darick last night. As though she could accept losing her place as Phoenix if I could step into her dance shoes.

  And I was happy because Mama had forgotten all about Nolan in her rapture over Breanna’s pregnancy.

  “Kyla, focus!” yelled Deirdre.

  I snapped back to attention and corrected my hand placement. I’d been gripping the fan too hard.

  To my right, Breanna sashayed into the tent, her face lighting up as she passed by a brilliant yellow torch. She looked as serene and at peace as I’d ever seen her, and relief rose up in my throat. I wanted this role. So badly. But not at the cost of Breanna losing it.

  She strode over to Deirdre and began speaking to her in a low voice.

  Out of the corner of my eye, I kept an eye on Deirdre’s face and saw her nod grimly as Breanna delivered the news. It wasn’t a shock, but Deirdre was surely disappointed. Breanna was an exquisite dancer.

  After a minute of conversation, Breanna stepped forward. “At ease, everyone,” she called. “I have an announcement.”

  I stopped moving and turned toward Breanna. Biting my lip, I stood straight and tall. Then I smiled at her. The moment was here.

  Everything was about to change. Forever.

  The movement around me stilled, and I wondered how many of the girls had already guessed Breanna’s announcement. The anticipation seemed to crackle in the stuffy air.

  “Wonderful news,” said Breanna warmly. If she was feeling doubt this morning, she hid it well. “I’m with child and will be retiring from the troupe in two months.”

  The girls burst out into cheers, and my voice was the loudest of all of them.

  Aislinn grabbed my arm, her eyes shining. “Baby!” she squealed.

  I glanced behind me, and my eyes connected with Shayla’s for the barest fraction of a moment. Her face was alight. No doubt she was already congratulating herself on her new role as principal dancer.

  Not if I had anything to say about it.

  When the clapping ceased, Breanna clasped her hands in front of her and bounced up and down on her toes for four beats. “I’ll miss you all very much, and I expect each and every one of you to come visit me after I’m no longer here at practice with you every day. Now, Deirdre and I want this to be as seamless a transition as possible. We will hold auditions for Phoenix one month from today, which gives you all time to practice for the audition and time for the incoming Phoenix to train with me for a month before she steps into the role in shows. The audition will be the solo from Scarlet Moon.”

  I nodded. I wasn’t surprised by the choice. We’d performed Scarlet Moon on our most recent tour through Parkano and Juankoski. Everyone was familiar with the music, and it was one of the most difficult pieces Breanna had danced as Phoenix.

  It was also my favorite piece, and Breanna had already taught me some of the steps to her solo.

  I hid my smile behind a fake yawn. Leave it to Breanna to figure out a way to help me dance my best.

  I’d need all the help I could get to defeat Shayla.

  Chapter Six

  “Nolan?” I called as I strolled down to our favorite spot by the river late that afternoon. When Mama had lit into us at the festival, we hadn’t set up a time to meet. But I hoped I’d find him here.

  In my fingers, I clutched a note I’d written for him. If he wasn’t here, I’d leave it in the knot in the gnarled oak. We’d passed messages there before.

  The river burbled happily, rushing through its sloping curves and over the thousands of speckled pebbles beneath the current. Somewhere high above me, a dove cooed. I breathed in, letting the fr
esh, wild smell of the evergreen forest soothe my overwhelmed heart.

  “Nolan?” I called again.

  The leaves rustled, and Nolan stepped out of the glade, his blond hair gleaming in the sunlight. “Hey.”

  The phoenixflies in my stomach did a synchronized pirouette. I tucked the note in my pocket—I had no need of it—left the path, and rushed toward him, crunching through the underbrush. When I reached him, I threw my arms around his middle and hugged him tightly.

  “You okay?” he asked. “Did your mama calm down?”

  I gave a deep sigh that wracked my whole body. “Let’s climb the oak.”

  “That bad, huh?”

  I strode over to the base of the tree and reached for the lowermost bough. I wrapped my hands around it, leaped, and swung myself up onto the branch. “Come on.”

  Nolan followed me as I scrambled from branch to branch, my muscles straining as I climbed. We reached our favorite boughs—mine just slightly higher than his—three-quarters of the way to the top of the oak, and nestled into the tree’s comfortable crooks. When we were children, we’d climbed even higher, but now the highest limbs didn’t support our weight.

  “Mama’s alright,” I said as I ran my fingers along the rough bark. “She just worries about me. But Breanna’s pregnant, so now Mama’s going to spend the next few months in raptures and focused on nothing but Breanna.”

  “How does that make you feel?” asked Nolan, reaching into the leaves and plucking a couple berries off a snaking vine. He tossed one up to me and popped the other into his mouth.

  “Oh, I’m happy Mama’s attention is going to be elsewhere,” I said, tracing the berry’s smooth skin. “I’m worried about Breanna, though.”

  “She’s not happy?”

  I tilted my head. “Nay. She’s . . . happy. She’s just worried that it’s going to make her life . . . smaller, I guess. It ends her career as the Phoenix.” I glanced down to see his reaction and bit into the berry. The tart flavor flooded my senses.

  He shook his head. “I can’t imagine. She’s worked so hard for it.”

  “You have no idea.”

  He swallowed the last traces of his berry and wedged himself into a vee in the branch so he could lie down. “So, you and Shayla going to solve the Phoenix question with a knife fight?”

  I chuckled, and anticipation tingled in my feet. Or maybe they’d just fallen asleep because I’d tucked them underneath myself. “Something like that. Auditions are in a month. Breanna’s going to help me prepare.”

  He whistled. “I wouldn’t want to be going up against you.”

  I pulled a piece of bark off the branch and tossed it down at him. “That’s because you’re a terrible dancer.”

  “Not my fault! I can’t even clap to the beat of a song,” he retorted. “I was born with no rhythm.”

  A squirrel dropped down from above and skittered over my shoulder and down my legs, bolting for the tree trunk. When it reached the solid center of the oak, it turned around and chattered at me, as if to scold me for trespassing on its territory.

  I shrugged. “Sorry.”

  The squirrel didn’t seem entirely mollified, but it turned around and scampered back up another limb of the tree toward the canopy.

  Nolan tracked it with his eyes. “It kind of reminds me of Shayla.”

  “Nay,” I said. “It has much better manners.”

  The squirrel stopped on a higher branch, far out of reach, and disappeared into a hole in the trunk. Moments later, it reappeared with a tiny acorn between its paws and chucked it at me. The acorn bounced off my head. Ouch! I scowled up at the impudent creature.

  Nolan grinned. “Still better manners than Shayla?”

  I snorted. “Any fire magic you can show me up here?”

  He eyed the drying leaves. “Not a chance. Not unless you can resurrect us out of the ashes like a phoenixbird in one of the old stories.”

  “Phoenixbird didn’t resurrect itself. It just laid a fireproof egg.” I chuckled and then reached up and ran my hands through the leaves above my head. “It’s just so peaceful up here. It always makes me feel like we’re safe. Like no one can find us.”

  “If you want to practice magecraft, we can go back down to the creek bed.”

  I dug my fingernails into the bark and shook my head. “In a little bit. Not yet.”

  “Need more time in the treetops?”

  I glanced down at him and dangled my hand to meet his. “Just trying to memorize this moment and hold onto it forever.”

  Nolan flicked a spider off his shoulder. “Well, I want to show you what that rock does.”

  My fingers slipped into my pocket, rubbing the coal’s smooth surface again. A smile broke out across my face. “Alright, then. Let’s go.”

  The trip down the tree took longer than coming up had—I couldn’t afford to sprain an ankle. Especially not right before the Phoenix audition. So I carefully clambered from branch to branch, taking painstaking care to place my feet and hands correctly.

  Nolan, with no such reservations, arrived at the ground well before I did. “Slowpoke!” he called.

  I shot him a withering glare and continued my cautious, slow descent. When I reached the last branch, I jumped to the ground, landing in a perfect crouch.

  “Impressive,” he said, raising an eyebrow.

  “That’s what happens when you dance your whole life.”

  He gave a flourishing bow and almost toppled over. I burst out laughing. He righted himself with a scowl on his face, but the pretense at frustration didn’t mask his amusement.

  “Now, then.” I pulled the rock out of my pocket. “You said light it on fire?”

  He tightened his lips like he was trying to suppress a grin. Then he nodded.

  Laying the rock flat in the palm of one hand, I drew to mind the labyrinth map and honed in on the element represented by a single tongue of flame. “Lasrach,” I whispered.

  Lavender fire appeared in my hand, bathing the coal. I glanced up at Nolan, my eyebrows raised.

  “Just watch,” he said.

  My attention returned to the black rock, which was taking on a purple hue. Then a tendril of fuchsia mist curled up out of the coal like a ribbon, shaping itself into a heart that hovered above my hand. It pulsed there, and my cheeks warmed. I looked up at Nolan, and he was biting his lip, a sheepish grin on his face.

  “Do you like it?”

  Did I? My insides quivered. I loved it and hated it all at the same time. I longed to be close to Nolan. He was my best friend in the world besides Breanna. So much of me wanted this future with him. But I was afraid too.

  Because I loved my family and my clan.

  Nolan stood there before me, hope and embarrassment warring in his face. I gave him a soft smile. “Aye. I love it,” I said.

  He lit up, and I closed my hand and whispered, “Múchadh.” The fire flickered out, and the coal turned cool in my grasp. I opened my hand again to study the stone, and it sat as subdued and unassuming as always. Just a little black rock.

  “It was beautiful,” I murmured.

  He took a step toward me and closed my palm around the coal again. “I’m glad you liked it.”

  My mind whirled. I cared about Nolan. So much. But I wasn’t ready for this. Wasn’t ready to decide whether I was going to leave the clan for him or not. And even if I did, there were so many things I wanted to do first.

  “I wanted to be with you when you lit it for a reason,” said Nolan. His voice cracked on the last word. “I know there’s a lot we’ve left unsaid. And maybe we should keep it that way for a while. I wouldn’t have given you the token if I’d known you were going to be training for the audition right away. I don’t want to pull you away from your dream. I just wanted . . . to say that I care about you. That’s all. For now.”

  I cleared my throat. “That sounds good.”

  New amusement sparkled in Nolan’s eyes, and I wanted to kick myself. That sounds good? He’d been so eloquent, a
nd I sounded like a stuttering child.

  “I mean . . .” I continued, not at all sure that the words I was stringing together would be any more intelligent. “I mean, thank you. For understanding. That I care about you but that . . . later.”

  Brilliant job, Kyla.

  He winked at me. “I’m doing something right if the lovely Kyla Brannon’s been rendered speechless.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Don’t flatter yourself.”

  At that, he laughed aloud. “Now that that’s out of the way, how about some magecraft?”

  I nodded, forcing myself to listen to Nolan’s instructions as I began running through the magic elements I’d already learned. But my attention was half-hearted.

  More than ever, I didn’t want to lose Nolan, and I didn’t want to lose the clan.

  And despite Papa’s warning, if there was any hope of keeping both, I’d fight anything and everyone for it.

  Chapter Seven

  Nolan and I practiced magecraft until nightfall. Mama cast me a suspicious glance when I slunk back into the tent to go to bed. But she didn’t say anything. Papa must have talked her down before I arrived.

  When I awoke the next morning, Mama was already gone, off to the market, I supposed. Or to crow to her friends that she was going to be a grandmama. Or, if she was in a bad mood, to complain about her rebellious younger daughter.

  In the dawn’s light, I stretched and then got dressed and set out for the practice tent. A few men were moving about the festival grounds, checking the safety of the dance stage or cleaning ashes from the cauldrons. But for the most part, all was eerily quiet. In the early light, the festival looked abandoned. Haunted.

  Not a dancer in sight. I was early, but that was the point. I wanted to be there practicing by the time Deirdre arrived. To show her how serious I was about the audition.

  To set myself apart from the others—especially Shayla.

  When I arrived, I ducked through the tent flap and blinked to adjust to the dim interior.