by Damian Maher
“I don’t eat meat. I eat everything else, though,” William said as he noticed Jacob examining his plate.
“Oh, that’s a wise decision. I was never able to stop eating meat. I like it too much. I tried, but I was never determined enough.”
“That’s all right. As for myself, I never could eat meat. Not even as a child. My grandmother once showed me a cute rabbit. Later, while we were eating lunch, she told me that that was what we were eating. I made the connection between the meat and the eyes.”
“Now I feel as if my sausage had eyes,” Jacob said.
“Oh, no, that’s okay. I didn’t want to make you feel guilty. I just wanted to say how I feel about it.”
They were quiet for a moment, concentrating on their food.
“Do you want me to bring you another cup of coffee?” William asked as he got up to get another cup for himself.
“ Please,” Jacob said, surprised at how friendly William appeared to be. He looks so fresh, despite the jet lag. He does sometimes gesticulate too much perhaps, but there are guys who are far more feminine.
“It just crossed my mind—because we have a strenuous first day ahead of us, picking up the car and everything, perhaps it would be a wise idea to go for a morning swim after breakfast. I saw a big pool with artificial waves not far from the hotel. It’s near the sea, if not in the sea,” William said.
“It would sure feel good to wash all that jet lag away,” Jacob said, even though when he woke up that morning, there had been other things on his mind.
*
As they left the hotel, they decided to take a short detour to see some local sights in the center of Darwin, although it was already hot in the humid tropical town. They only put briefs and money in their pockets. They checked out and left their luggage at the reception desk.
“Darwin feels somehow different. It has this Where the fuck am I? atmosphere,” William joked, as they wandered around the city.
“I always wanted to come here. Maybe even live here. It’s funny that now—” Jacob stopped because at that moment a drunk Aborigine gave them an I wish you were dead look.
William tried to use the moment to impress Jacob with his recently acquired knowledge of the Aborigines. “Europeans took their land and interrupted their way of living. The alienation from their roots pushes them into alcoholism or other, nonchemical, addictions. It’s so sad to see so many Aborigines passive and angry. But this is not their only way, although to tourists it’s perhaps the most obvious one. Darwin’s traditional owners, called the Larrakia people, still adhere to their healthy traditional beliefs.”
“I guess we read the same article on the plane,” Jacob said.
“Oh?” William exclaimed, blushing.
“Seriously, I think that the Aborigines are still exploited. For example, white dealers buy their paintings and sell them to tourists for many times the price they paid. The natives don’t get much for their work. Luckily, they have also found ways to sell their art directly,” Jacob added.
As they observed Darwin’s many diverse food and craft markets, an ice cream seller proudly told them that the people in this town had more than seventy different ethnic backgrounds. Although July is supposed to be among the coolest and driest months of the year, the heat was rapidly lowering their motivation to explore Darwin. They decided that they would drive through the rest of the town after they had picked up the car.
“Let’s go for a swim,” William said, noticing a beautiful beach stretching along the ocean.
“It’s okay by me. But are you sure? Would you really like to encounter huge crocodiles or box jellyfish?” Jacob asked.
“What? There are crocodiles in the ocean? I don’t believe that!”
“ Yes, there are. Do you still want to go to the natural beach?” Jacob asked, with a scornful tone in his voice.
“Let’s go to the Wave Lagoon and rest awhile. That should be safe.” William pointed in the direction of the man-made pool. “Then we have to pick up the car.”
As they were throwing their Tshirts and trousers on the grass and putting on bathing trunks, Jacob noticed how hard William tried to pretend he wasn’t sneaking glances at his body. He looked away, trying to appear disinterested, too many times. But he was also surprised at how good William looked naked, as he saw his hot, tight ass and trained physique. It must be because of all that healthy vegetarian food he eats. Jacob was aware that he looked good himself, but he imagined he had a little tummy, and he tried to pull it in before William noticed it.
They ran into the pool and stayed in the water for more than an hour. Refreshed and energetic, they picked up the luggage from the reception desk and called a cab to bring them to the car rental agency.
*
The car rental agency office was located in an old airplane hangar. The place was tidy, but it didn’t smell of success. Jesus, what kind of cars do they rent? Beat-up old taxis, maybe? Jacob wondered.
“Welcome to Australia. Please, take a seat on the sofa. Feel free to make yourself a complimentary cup of coffee or tea. I would strongly recommend that you watch the introductory video. Later I’ll show you the car,” the clerk greeted them routinely .
As they started to listen to the twenty-minute video, Jacob noticed how hard William was trying to keep his eyes open.
“It’s okay. Close your eyes. You need that rest so you’ll be able to drive later,” Jacob said.
“Thank you. Just for a minute . . .” William answered, dozing off, his chin falling to his chest. He knew nothing about cars, nor did technical issues interest him. He felt so relieved to be able to pass on that responsibility to Jacob.
“Any questions? No? Please, come with me. I’ll show you the car now.” The clerk’s professional voice woke William from his half-awake nap after the video had finished. “You have booked a four-wheeldrive camper van. It has a double bed that is 2.00 x 1.75 meters and a smaller single bed.”
“Isn’t the single bed too small for an adult?” William asked, suddenly showing some energy.
“So . . . do we sleep on the same bed?” Jacob asked, trying to understand the situation. “Actually, the single bed is very comfortable and more than big enough for one of you,” clerk suggested with emotion-free professionalism. “The very spacious rear cabin has a pretty large fridge, cooking utensils, air-conditioning, even a dust pan and a broom,” he continued. “The vehicle has a huge water tank and a solar-heated portable shower for outside use. Here is an awning under which a gas stove and a table to prepare food on can be pulled out from the side of the car. Many times roads are intersected by rivers, but the sealed-air intake snorkel will prevent water from entering the engine. The fourwheel-drive will help you, as the holes on the worst roads are sometimes as deep as fifty centimeters. Do you want an optional safety beacon?”
“I don’t know if we need that?” Jacob turned to William.
“We are going to the back of beyond, and I think that some level of security is essential,” William insisted.
“But we have a phone!” Jacob insisted.
“Indeed, if something happens in the Outback—snakebite or a stroke—you should try to make the initial emergency call by telephone. But if there is no signal you should activate the emergency position-indicating radio beacon, and the rangers or the helicopter will rush to the coordinates that were transmitted.”
“Is the car fully insured?” Jacob asked.
“You bought an extensive insurance package, so you have no liability. Any damage to the car is covered. Do you want to pay for an additional driver?” the clerk asked.
“I guess not,” Jacob said. “You’ll drive,” he said, turning to William. A sure way to die, he said to himself, smiling roguishly.
“I guess it’s fair if we both drive. In fact, I insist upon it,” William said firmly.
“If you insist,” Jacob said.
“Since I already paid for everything else in advance, I suggest that I continue to do so, and then, at the end, we
can add up the costs and share them,” William suggested.
“That’s okay with me,” Jacob said. Somewhere in his mind the question arose how he would pay for the car if he killed himself on the road, but it didn’t really enter the logical area of his thoughts. The thought was passively pecking at his brain, like a chicken, unaware of the consequences of the answer.
After they had signed many papers, the clerk gave them the car keys.
“You go first, Jacob. You drive. I need some time to adapt to this huge vehicle,” William said.
They were eager to put their suitcases into the cabin and drive away. Jacob only had one small black suitcase, but William had three big ones.
“What are you going to do with all that stuff?” Jacob asked, smiling slightly scornfully.
“It’s not that much stuff. It’s just that these suitcases tend to be so small on the inside. I knew it was not going to be cold in northern Australia, but I still have some warm things. Just in case. And shoes for muddy terrain, and sandals—a couple of them, just in case—and slippers for the cabin, and water shoes. That alone takes up one suitcase,” William said, his face growing red.
“I don’t need much. I can wash my underpants and my shirt and my socks every day and wear them again the next day,” Jacob said.
“Okay, in that case you can have the smaller of the two drawers under the seat,” William said.
“That’s fine by me,” Jacob said.
“Where are we going to sleep?” William asked. “There’s the bed above the driver’s cab, and the bed that can be folded out in the sitting area, like he told us.”
“I can sleep on the small bed below. That way I won’t have to climb over you if I have to go out at night,” Jacob said.
“ Well . . . that’s settled, then,” William said with a smile. “You prefer me climbing over you .”
Jacob smiled clumsily, not knowing what to say.
They were silent for some moments. Then William took his phone out of his pocket to check his messages. His face grew serious at first, then he smiled, and afterward his face grew sad. It seemed that his eyes might start watering.
“What’s wrong?” Jacob asked.
“Nothing. Nothing. It’s just that . . .” William sighed.
“What?”
“My ex-boyfriend told me that he split up with his new boyfriend and that he is sorry and that he loves me and that he wants to come to Australia to be with me as we had planned.”
“And?” Jacob asked.
“I loved him. But the way he left me . . .” William said.
“I see that his messages still throw you off track. I know it’s not easy. You only split up recently.”
“We were together for almost three years. I loved him. I thought we were going to be together for the rest of our lives. Perhaps he did love me in his own way, but only enough to stay with me until a rich sugar daddy came along.”
“What do you think now?” Jacob asked.
“I didn’t expect this,” William whispered.
“Shall I take my own car? Do you want him to come to Australia?” Jacob asked nervously. He tried to hide his disappointment, which surprised him, when he saw that the adventure with William might end before it had started.
“I couldn’t take him back. It’s over,” William said.
“Are you sure?” Jacob asked, without enough air in his lungs to say it clearly.
“Yes. Don’t worry. It’s not easy, but I know that allowing him to come here would be the wrong decision. Plus, it would be very expensive for me.”
“He doesn’t have enough money to pay for a ticket?” Jacob asked.
“No. I would have to pay. Just as I paid for the flight he missed. I even used up some of the money my uncle left me after he died.”
“That’s not a good feeling.”
“No, but let’s not focus on it anymore. It is as it is. It takes time, but I’ll have to come to terms with it,” William said with another sigh.
“What will you answer him?” Jacob still had to ask.
“I don’t want to talk with him.”
“Good. That’s a good start!” Jacob blurted out without thinking.
*
They finally found themselves driving the huge, fourwheel-drive mobile home. After they drove the streets of Darwin, growing slightly bored by the neat and orderly appearance of the town, they decided to head toward the famous Litchfield National Park. On the way, they filled the gas tank and two extra plastic canisters with fuel, and they filled the huge, built-in plastic tank with water.
“ Shall we split the cost of the food?” William asked when they found a mall soon after leaving Darwin.
“Shall I pay for all the other expenses, since you paid for the camper? We could tally up everything at the end.”
“Good. That’s more practical, anyway. What food do you prefer? We have everything we need to eat well in the Outback: inner and outer gas stove, sink, kitchenware, and quite a large fridge. I can cook.”
“You are not actually going to cook, are you?” Jacob asked, taking a shopping cart.
“Why not? I’m used to it. I can come up with a great meal in a second. So, what do you like to eat? What shall we buy?”
“I’ll eat just about anything,” Jacob said. “We can buy some meat, and I’ll cook it for you. I have no problems with you eating meat,” William said. “But I don’t even want to think about how the animals are bred, transported, and slaughtered.”
“I am very much aware of that. It’s just that all the people in my family adore eating meat, and I couldn’t avoid it. But now—and I’ve been coming to this for years —I will use this opportunity: I won’t eat animals anymore. I’ve reached that point now. It simply feels right.”
“Just like that?” William asked.
“Just like that! Thank you for giving me that impulse.”
“That’s great!” William said, his face glowing like a child’s. “I promise I’ll try to cook so that you won’t even miss meat. What shall we buy to eat?” “ Can I just leave these things to you? You can leave the car to me!” Jacob proposed.
“I think that might work out great,” William said with a grin. “I’ll buy enough food to last us for a week: tofu, a lot of different vegetables, fruits, some sweets, cans of vegetables, bread, bottled water.” “I’ll try to find some camping chairs and a table in the meantime,” Jacob said.
“Great. But tell me first: what is your favorite comfort food?” William asked.
“My favorite comfort food should be diet food, if I look at my little growing stomach. And what’s your favorite comfort food?” Jacob asked. “I am usually the one who prepares the food and takes care of everybody. I often eat a little bit of everything. That’s my comfort food,” William said. “Good! Then buy a little bit of everything,”
Jacob said, heading toward the camping equipment department.
As they finally headed toward Litchfield National Park, the beautiful scenery and the pristine, lush rainforest vegetation fascinated them.
“Inland from the coast, there are open eucalyptus forests and northern regions of tropical savannas, but the most notable feature is the flood plains,” Jacob said. “I also read the magazines on the plane!”
“It feels like being in a zoo, “William exclaimed. “Even from the car you can see so many wild birds, and we even saw a snake passing the road. This is obviously a heaven for the herpetologist.”
“Yeah, a haven of some kind . . .”
“ Oh, I just have to!” William exclaimed. “I just have to, you know! I have to hear the aria ‘Casta Diva’ at least once a day. You know, ‘Casta Diva’ from Norma ?”
“Sure . . . Norma . . . yeah . . .” Jacob answered, trying to hide the fact that he had trouble distinguishing opera from nursery rhymes.
“But it has to be the rendition by Maria Callas! Listen, my iPod is chock full of operatic arias. Shall I connect it to the car stereo system? But if you don’t like it, I also
have these huge headphones,” William said.
Jesus Christ, now I know why he needs so many suitcases! Jacob thought with a smile. “I’m all for it. Make it loud,” he said.
“Great!” William connected the devices enthusiastically, and the drama of the music filled the cabin.
Although Jacob had really never listened to opera, he immediately sensed the magic of it. As Maria Callas started to sing, his eyes watered. It was as if the pain and the beauty of the music had joined into another feeling that transcended both.
“It’s beautiful,” Jacob whispered.
“It’s as close to heaven as we can get!” William said.
“What the fuck?” Jacob suddenly interrupted the idyllic moment. “What is that?”
“What! What?” William asked, looking around. He found the rough, decisive sound of Jacob’s voice to be almost insulting.
“Don’t you smell it?” Jacob smelled the air and turned down the music. “What’s that smell?” “ Yes! It’s as if something is burning. Is it the car?” William asked despairingly.
Jacob turned into the next rest area, and they jumped out of the car. Jacob bent down and smelled the brakes.
“I guess there’s something wrong with the brakes. We have to go back to the car rental agency. Let them check this out.”
“Shit! But at least the car broke down now, not in the middle of the wilderness!”
At the rental agency they rang and rang and rang at the entrance, but there was nobody there.
“We’ll have to sleep here!” Jacob said, but at that moment a very drunk man appeared at the door.
“G’day,” he greeted them.
“Hi,” Jacob said. “We got this car a couple of hours ago. I guess there’s something wrong with the brakes. See? They stink like hell. Could you please fix this? We’re going deep into the Outback. Gibb River Road.”
“You’re like a little sparrow, all twitter and shit. You don’t like the smell of the brakes? Oh! You are a very sensitive one,” he said. “I can’t be bothered with shit like that.”