Passing Through Darkness- The Complete Cycle

by Malcolm McKenzie

I decided against it. Hadal, Doral, and Loris looked at me like they’d always known I was unreliable and this just confirmed it. I had never socialized much with the other refugees.

  Prophetess was serving scrambled eggs from a big bowl. I walked over to her.

  “So. No point keeping Grigg waiting, I guess.” My mouth ground to a halt. I couldn’t find any other words.

  “Take care of yourself,” she said.

  I nodded. I thought about asking her to pray for me, but it didn’t seem right. I turned and left.

  Dee caught up with me on the way out. “Take good notes, if you can,” he said. “You’ll be as close to the heart of the Darkness Radiant as anyone I know. It’s a wonderful opportunity.”

  I tried to summon up a smile but didn’t have much success.

  “Also, try not to die,” he added. He clapped me on the shoulder and went back to his meal.

  By any rational measure, it had been stupid for me to offer to escort Prophetess north into Yoshana’s teeth in the first place. Was it really that much more foolish to charge directly into the lion’s den with the terror herself? I walked out into the bright morning sunlight and mentally directed my rhetorical question at the sky.

  I couldn’t be sure, but I got the strong feeling the sky told me I was an idiot.

  “Minos.”

  The deep voice at my elbow nearly startled me out of my skin.

  Father Juniper must have been waiting for me. The fact that I had missed the smell of his pipe showed how distracted I was.

  “Father.” My mouth, running ahead of my brain, added, “Here to bless me or curse me?”

  He smiled broadly. “You have to do what you think is right.”

  “Prophetess said exactly that. Aren’t you both supposed to be spiritual guides?”

  “Are you asking me for spiritual guidance?”

  I thought about that. If he told me to stay, would I?

  I was still thinking when he said, “It’s hard for her too, you know.”

  “Is it?” She was the center of an adoring cult, not an outcast at the margin of this society.

  He nodded. “It is.”

  He grasped my arms and looked into my eyes. His hands were thick and strong. His bushy beard was white and gray, stained yellow around the mouth from the pipe. A weathered mass of wrinkled skin hid behind that hair, but his eyes sparkled with life.

  “You’ll be all right,” he said. I had to smile.

  “I think,” he added. “I’ll pray for you.”

  Something in his tone at the end was not entirely reassuring.

  Grigg got easily to his feet as I passed through the little door in Our Lady’s outer wall. He had been sitting cross-legged - meditating?

  “I was hoping you’d come. Unless this is just a polite refusal? Your friends inside didn’t seem like the politely refusing type. More like the ‘boiling oil over the parapet’ type. I have to admit, I wondered sometimes whether this was the best place to sit.”

  He smiled as he said it all, but I still felt compelled to defend the people whose home I’d shared all winter.

  “They wouldn’t murder you by surprise.” And then, because I was feeling peevish, I added, “Isn’t that more Yoshana’s style?”

  “Yes,” he agreed, completely unfazed. “That’s why you’re much better off not fighting her.”

  “I might feel better about this expedition of yours if you’d at least deny any intention of sticking a knife in my back.”

  “And would you believe a denial like that? If you have to ask the question, does my answer make a difference?”

  “I suppose not. You know, you can be as annoying to talk to as Prophetess.”

  The big Select chuckled. “I’m going to assume that was meant as some kind of back-handed compliment.”

  I shrugged. “That’s one way to take it.”

  “You’ve been spending too much time with priests and prophets. You don’t have to prove you can be ambiguous too. That can come across as rude, you know, and that can be unhealthy. Yoshana isn’t known for her sense of humor.”

  It occurred to me that I had been freely sarcastic with a very dangerous man. A captain of Yoshana’s legions, who had at least briefly battled her to a standstill in a contest of the Darkness. A man who, as Dee had pointed out, would find me no more troublesome to crush than an ant underfoot.

  This suddenly seemed like a very bad idea. What would happen if I turned around and pounded on the door, demanding to be let back in? Embarrassing, surely, but no one had ever died of embarrassment. I suspected the list of people who had died of irritating Yoshana and Grigg might be very long indeed.

  “So let’s be direct,” Grigg said, still smiling. “Are you joining us, or are you conveying your regrets?”

  I wondered if I would live long enough to get back through the door if I rejected his offer.

  “Let’s go,” I said. There didn’t seem to be any other answer.

  3. Renewing Acquaintances

  “You’re packed awfully light for the trip to Stephensburg,” I remarked to Grigg’s broad back. He wore a heavy fur cloak over leather, but aside from a sword, a water skin and a few small pouches, he was unburdened with equipment. I had my hickory staff, bedroll, cloak, and the same small bundle of possessions I’d brought north from Rockwall months ago.

  He set a brisk pace, and I had taken advantage of that to study him before catching up. I was very conscious that I was looking directly at the back of his neck. He had at least three inches on me and probably fifty pounds, none of it fat. He could have been anywhere from twenty to forty years old. His close-cropped hair was bone white, like every Select’s, and like all of us his eyes were jet black from sclera to pupil. His gray skin was unlined. He carried himself with total ease, but I could sense the energy of a coiled spring under that placid surface.

  He looked back at me and grinned. “Oh, we’re not going to Stephensburg.”

  I jogged three steps to come up next to him.

  “You mean it’s just the two of us going to the Darklands?”

  “You’re awfully thick today, Minos. No, it’s not just us. But we’re in a hurry. Everyone we need is here in town.”

  “Everyone… Yoshana is here?”

  His smile widened. “That’s right.”

  My stomach dropped. I’d expected to have a week to nerve myself for that meeting, to pry the Overlord’s true intentions from her lieutenant - to make a run for it in the night while he was asleep, if it came to that.

  “What’s wrong, Minos? You look like you just swallowed a bug.”

  That would probably have left me feeling a lot less nauseated.

  Grigg pushed open the door of the rundown inn at the edge of town and announced, “Success!”

  I stepped in cautiously after him, eyes slowly adjusting to the dimness. There was only one group of people in the common room, all seated around a large table.

  My breath caught at the first face I recognized. Roshel, Yoshana’s beautiful Overlord lieutenant, stared back at me. Her eyes were dark, in a normal human way. Her skin had retained its tan color through the winter. Her long hair was as black as mine was white. There was nothing about her appearance to suggest she wasn’t an ordinary human - except perhaps the effect she had on my breathing and heartbeat.

  The impact wasn’t as pronounced as it had been that first time at Stephensburg - maybe I was getting used to her? I managed a tight smile as I surveyed the rest of the group.

  Four hard-eyed men sat to Roshel’s left. Weather-beaten but far from elderly, they each had that same harnessed energy as Grigg. These would be veterans of Yoshana’s wars. The oldest of them, a bearded man with a scar on his cheek, gave me a long, appraising look. I had the feeling he could chew Tolf up and spit out the pieces.

  The sixth person’s back was to me, shrouded even in the relative warmth inside by a hooded cloak. My stomach was completing its descent into my bowels even before she slowly turned and I recognized Yoshana herself.
Unlike Roshel, this Overlord’s inhuman heritage showed in her appearance - though her long, white hair came from her Select ancestry, not her demon blood. The mahogany tone of her skin might be from the Hellguard. Where she got the startling blue eyes I couldn’t guess. Maybe she’d met someone who had those eyes, liked them, and decided to pluck them out for herself. I didn’t really believe that, but I doubted neither her willingness nor her ability to do it.

  Some terrors faded when you saw them up close. Yoshana wasn’t one of those. She had frightened me at a distance, and then terrified me beyond measure at Stephensburg.

  It wasn’t that Yoshana’s appearance was in any way horrifying. She looked more human than I did, and her sharp features were classically beautiful. The horror of Yoshana was knowing what she was.

  Though maybe like Roshel, her effect faded just a bit on repeated exposure. I met the sapphire eyes without backing out the door.

  “Kept us waiting long enough,” growled the scarred man, continuing to stare at me with challenge all over his face. “You sure it was worth it for one more Select?” His glance flickered to Grigg. “No offense.”

  A slow smile spread across the Overlord general’s face. “Absolutely. This one’s special.”

  She turned that smile on the scowling, scarred man, who was now glaring at me even more intensely. “As Grigg explained, Minos is Prophetess’ personal bodyguard.”

  The man’s grunt showed what he thought of that honor. Which wasn’t even true anymore.

  “This is Erev,” Yoshana continued, dipping her chin toward him. “And Rosc, Joav, and Talman. I believe you’ve met Roshel.”

  I nodded, not trusting what might come out of my mouth. The dark-haired Overlord stood up, smiling. “Good to see you again, Minos. I’m glad you lived.”

  She was wearing less armor than the last time I’d seen her. While her pants were studded leather similar to Grigg’s, above the sword belt at her waist she wore only a white blouse. I had thought her leather armor did little to hide her curves. The blouse did less.

  I swallowed, feeling like an idiot. Though Select don’t visibly blush, I could feel my face heating. Desperately searching for something to say, I blurted, “Aren’t these your top lieutenants? If they’re both here, who’s minding the store?”

  As if it were sane to question her.

  The horror smiled tolerantly.

  “Maybe Grigg wasn't clear, Minos. If we don’t deal with this threat, there’s no store left to mind. The Darkness Radiant is garrisoned at Stephensburg. I have competent officers. If my army can’t hold a friendly city without me, it’s not much of an army. But this task requires my best.”

  “And what exactly is the task?”

  She barked out an incredulous laugh. “He really wasn’t clear! He didn’t tell you?”

  “He said there was a threat in the Darklands.”

  “Yes, that’s quite true. Specifically, my sources tell me the second in command of the Hellguard is pressuring his commander to accelerate their invasion plans. We’re not ready yet. So we need to kill him.”

  “Kill the second in command of the Hellguard,” I repeated stupidly.

  “Yes. His name is Yashuath.”

  “He’s… a demon.”

  Again that slow smile. “Yes, one of the very strongest. By definition.”

  I swallowed. “Well. At least you’re not doing anything difficult.”

  The smile widened. I was just a bit surprised to see that her teeth weren’t sharp. “How’s your geography, Minos?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “To reach the Darklands from here, we’ll need to pass through the heart of the Sorrows. The Darkness there is so thick that the demons themselves can’t control it. Relatively speaking, killing Yashuath may be the easy part.”

  I turned and glared at Grigg. “I don’t think you’re my favorite person anymore.”

  Roshel said, “Maybe I could be your new favorite person.” My temperature must have shot up another five degrees.

  Erev laughed nastily. “If you need a baby to care for, there you go,” he said to Roshel. He stared at me. “Tell you what, just so we’re clear. You’re not going to be my favorite person.”

  There were horses. I supposed it beat walking, but I felt like I had just recovered from the saddle sores I’d accumulated going to Stephensburg and back. My mount was quiet enough, a dun gelding with the disposition of a pack horse, which was probably what it was. Just as well - a spirited warhorse like Yoshana’s white would most likely have deposited me on the ground in minutes.

  We spread in a short, irregular column down the road. The scarred man rode with Yoshana at the front, Roshel and the other three soldiers behind them. Grigg and I brought up the rear. Grigg had passed me a heavy pack, matching everyone else’s. I had combined it with my own gear and loaded it onto one of the three remaining pack animals, each of which was led by one of the human soldiers.

  Everyone but me wore a belted sword and carried a carbine in a saddle holster. Not that being unarmed in that company made me nervous. Hah. To be honest, it wasn’t the main thing that made me nervous. It wasn’t even in the top three.

  “Erev doesn’t seem to like me,” I commented to Grigg.

  “He doesn’t like anyone very much, except Yoshana.”

  I nodded. “I noticed that. He, uh, doesn’t seem as respectful to you and Roshel as he might.”

  “He’s a senior sergeant of the Knights of Resurrection. He answers only to his direct superiors, and Yoshana.”

  “Wouldn’t his superiors include you?”

  The big Select shook his head. “We’re Darkness Radiant. The Knights of Resurrection are Yoshana’s personal guard. Like Prophetess’ Order of Thorns.” Again, demonstrating that he knew more than he should.

  “I thought it was two names for the same thing.”

  “I guess a lot of people think that. But it’s not true. Yoshana picks good officers, like she said. But the ones that are unconditionally loyal to her - they go into the Knights. Erev, Rosc, Joav, and Talman are all Knights. I don’t think I have to tell you not to say anything bad about her where they can hear you. They’d probably cut your tongue out.”

  I started to ask if he was serious, then decided I’d rather not know.

  I asked another dangerous question instead. “Did you… did Yoshana kill the innkeeper back there?”

  Grigg laughed. “Do you really think we’re that kind of monsters? Why’d you join us if you thought that? Yoshana’s ruthless, but she’s not cruel.” A brief hesitation, something left unsaid. “We paid him not to go telling tales.”

  “You said it, she’s ruthless. And she doesn’t exactly blend in, even with a hood on. What made her think he’d stay bribed, not go running off and spreading the word?”

  He chuckled, not in a pleasant way. “You really think she wouldn’t know?”

  I shook my head, my stomach churning more than when I thought she might have murdered someone to cover her tracks.

  “Does she seem like someone who would sit with her back to the door, Minos?”

  I shook my head again.

  “So, why would she do that?”

  I thought about the implications of everything he’d said, recalling my conversation with Dee before I’d left. “Because she doesn’t need her eyes to see.”

  The other Select nodded. “You need to understand what she is, Minos. What she has to be. Why she’s humanity’s only hope.”

  “You really believe that.”

  He nodded emphatically. “Of course I do. What I said to you before… we can’t defeat the demons or the Darkness if we’re not united. Since the end of the Age of Fear, what progress has there been?”

  The great civilization of the Last Days had ended with the Second Fall. Scripture said brother had turned against brother as the stain of the Darkness spread across the land. The ancients’ pride and unnatural tampering had broken the world, subjecting it to the scourge of the Darkness, and the Hellg
uard… and the Select.

  According to Prophetess, the Universal Church didn’t hold the Select responsible for the Fall. We were a symptom, not a cause. So that was comforting.

  The Darkness, though…

  “Prophetess says the Darkness is the manifestation of original sin. I can’t imagine she would ever accept Yoshana using it. Or you using it.”

  Grigg snorted dismissively. “Who do you think understands the Darkness better, Prophetess or Yoshana? With all due respect, Prophetess is a farm girl from the back end of nowhere who had never seen the Darkness until six months ago.”

  And how did he know that?

  But he was continuing. “Yoshana’s an Overlord. She learned to control the Darkness as a child. Can you imagine the discipline that takes, Minos? The willpower? Most Overlords don’t survive childhood. When the Hellguard turned on her, when she fought them… she’s as strong as a demon herself. Who could possibly understand it better than her?”

  “And you?” I asked. “When were you -” I struggled for a word that wouldn’t offend, then gave up. “When were you infected?”

  “After I met her. After she showed me what it could do.”

  “You let it in you on purpose?”

  He nodded fiercely. “There aren’t many people who can control the Darkness. The Hellguard. The Overlords that survive it. A few other humans. And most of the Select. Most of us have the mental discipline for it. That’s why it’s hard for it to possess us, if we choose to keep it out.” His eyebrows went up, and he laughed. “It’s funny. Your Prophetess is probably one of the handful of ordinary humans who could master it, and she won’t.”

  “You can’t imagine how offensive she would find that suggestion.”

  “Sure I can. I grew up in the Monolith. I was a Josephite before I met Yoshana.”

  That seemed incredible. The Josephites were far more conservative than the Universalists or even the Reborn.

  “I didn’t think the Josephites liked the Select very much.”

  “You mean because they say we’re damned? No, they don’t like us. They’re pragmatists, though. They’ll hire Select mercenaries. That’s what my parents were. When they died fighting against Rockwall, the church raised me. They’re decent people, Minos. Generous, even. Still, it’s tough living where you don’t really fit in.”