Passing Through Darkness- The Complete Cycle

by Malcolm McKenzie

  “How long have you been here? Alone?”

  “Three hundred years, give or take.”

  I tried to fathom the loneliness of it.

  “It’s not so bad,” he said, reading my mind - perhaps literally. “Sometimes I go farther west where the prospectors come in, and I get close enough to scan ’em. Learn a little about what’s going on outside. Over the centuries I’ve even had a couple of visitors that weren’t so crazy I had to kill them. And of course I’ve got Wendy.”

  “You don’t think about going out? Not back to the Darklands, but west? With… people?”

  “Yeah, that would go over like a lead balloon. Can you imagine? They don’t like you. They’d really love me. No one even knows what we really are anymore. I guess after the Fall, people made a point of forgetting, and I guess I can maybe see why. Renamed every town, stopped using any name that reminded them of the past. At best, I’m a reminder of things they don’t want to remember. At worst… you said it. People think we’re actually demons.”

  “But you could…” I trailed off.

  “Yeah? I could do what, kid?”

  What, indeed?

  Seven had never trained anyone to use the Darkness. He was less skilled as a teacher than Yoshana, and often couldn’t explain exactly what he wanted me to do. “You just do it, that’s all,” he’d growl.

  But he knew things I was pretty sure she didn’t.

  “You’re all brute force,” he complained. “No fine control at all.”

  Offended, I explained that I’d been able to pierce the others’ wards without being detected.

  “Then whoever trained you really is about as subtle as a bull in rut.”

  I had to laugh. “Yoshana wouldn’t be very pleased to hear you say that.”

  “Yoshana?”

  Oops. Somehow I’d neglected to mention where I’d spent the last couple of months.

  “I guess I’d better explain.”

  The Hellguard nodded. “I guess you’d better.”

  I didn’t leave anything out. When I had finished, I waited for his reaction. He was silent for a time.

  “Well, she’s got guts, I’ll say that for her. Going to need more than guts to take down Ypsilon, though.”

  “Who?”

  “Yashuath. Used to be Ypsilon. Decided he wanted something that sounded more biblical. Some of them started to take the demon stuff pretty seriously.” He leaned back, thinking. “Dunno. You said you’re more sensitive than the others ’cause you were trained in here. Makes sense. Guess I’ve probably learned some tricks over the last few centuries that the rest of the guys may not know. Still, comes to a stand-up fight, subtle’s only worth so much. And Yashuath is as strong as they come.”

  “You don’t think she’ll manage it?”

  “Didn’t say that. She hasn’t been around long, but she’s picked up a hell of a reputation. Even I know who she is, and I’m stuck here. Gurath and the guys have faced down a lot of Overlords over the years, but word is she’s different.”

  “Gurath?”

  “Gamma. He’s in charge. Yashuath’s his number two. And the more aggressive of them. Your Yoshana must be figuring that if she takes down Yashuath, Gurath will regroup and give her time to build her new army. It’s not a terrible idea.”

  I said, “She’s not my Yoshana.”

  “Guess not anymore.”

  I thought that, perhaps more than anyone, Seven would understand my next question. “Did I do the right thing? When I left her?”

  “You sure I’m the right guy to ask? I’ve been living in the woods for three hundred years with nowhere to go ’cause I bailed out on my buddies.”

  “I’ve got somewhere to go,” I said defensively.

  “Yeah, you picked your side.”

  I had, of course. I just wasn’t completely sure I’d picked the right one. Or for the right reasons.

  “I don’t think Yoshana’s wrong about everything,” I said. “We do need humanity to pull together, and we don’t have that now. She’s right that our leaders aren’t good for anything but squabbling with each other.”

  “Those who consider the history of similar divisions and confederacies will understand that they would neither love nor trust one another, but on the contrary would be prey to discord, jealousy, and mutual injuries. In short, they would be formidable only to each other,” Seven recited.

  “Who said that?”

  “The guys who founded the country that used to be here. Explaining why it had to be under one government, and not a bunch of different ones. They weren’t wrong. This place had a good run, while it lasted.”

  “So you agree with her.”

  The Hellguard shrugged.

  Could I change my mind? Could I go back to Yoshana and help in her mission? Would she let me? Would Seven? For all that the Hellguard had abandoned his own companions, I wasn’t sure he would let me join in an attack on them.

  I wouldn’t help the Darkness Radiant kill Prophetess. But Yoshana might not be wrong that Prophetess stood in the way of unification. If I rejoined the Overlord - and she didn’t kill me - I might be able to protect Prophetess, while getting her out of the way.

  But even if Yoshana was right, she was also ruthless, even brutal. Though we might need only one government, I wasn’t sure I wanted Yoshana to be the one to govern.

  I gave Seven an anguished look.

  “Only the dead have seen the end of war,” he said. From his tone, I was sure he was quoting again.

  “So what does that mean?”

  “It means there’s always conflict. It means there’s no easy answer whether what you’re doing is right or wrong.” The Hellguard shook his head. “It means I don’t know.”

  “Just get the feeling of the blade. Understand its shape,” Seven said, exasperated. We had set philosophy aside, and he was trying again to refine my use of the Darkness. My clumsiness was becoming a recurring theme with him.

  “It’s a curved sword. I understand its shape.”

  “No! You need to get the exact imprint of it in your mind. When you know every bit of the sword, all you have to do is use the prant to take that out of the wood.”

  I was holding a gently curved tree limb some three feet long. The Hellguard was convinced I could make it into both a sheath and a hilt for the katana. Two shattered branches at my feet suggested he was wrong.

  “I’ve been doing that.”

  “No. You’ve got to be patient. The prant’s all about applying just as much force as you need, no more. Little by little. Don’t just fling a pile of it like some kind of grenade.”

  I chuckled. “Yoshana would quote Clausewitz at you. About how you have to apply all the force you can.”

  “No! You have to apply all the force you need.”

  It was strange to hear someone that looked like the Hellguard counseling delicacy. But he had carved that statue, and had sneaked up on me undetected.

  “Don’t rush it,” he was saying. “Let it flow, let it do its work.”

  I tried. I eased a little current of the Darkness into the branch. It seemed to nibble a bit at the wood, producing a tiny clump of sawdust. “I’ve got the image in my mind,” I snapped. “If I try to put that image into the branch, it just rips apart. If I go slow, I get an eighth of an inch of carving I could have done faster with a knife.”

  Seven shook his head in disgust. “You’re not patient. You can’t keep anything in your head.”

  He thought for a moment, while I regarded the tree branch with open hatred. “Did you happen to run into that big nest of the prant up in a tree, a few miles southeast?”

  “Yeah. It almost ate me.”

  The Hellguard nodded emphatically. “Why?”

  “Because I didn’t even feel it until it was almost too late.”

  “Exactly. That nest is patient. It’s subtle. It doesn’t go flinging around big globs of itself. Just enough to sense its prey. It waits. That thing’s been there a hundred years, getting bigger an
d bigger, bit by bit. Who knows what it’ll be in another hundred years.”

  “That’s not really the same thing…”

  “It’s exactly the same thing. That’s the problem with you, the problem with Ypsilon, the problem with Yoshana. No patience.”

  “Kind of hard to be patient when the world’s going to hell.”

  “Maybe that’s exactly when you need to be patient. The problem with revolution is then you get revolutionaries in charge. Historically that hasn’t worked out so well.”

  His words mirrored my own fears of Yoshana so closely I wondered again if he was in my head. “So the answer is to hide out in the woods instead?”

  I hadn’t intended the words to be as nasty as they’d come out, but Seven just shook his head and said mildly, “God will get things sorted in his time, not yours.”

  I was surprised. “I hadn’t expected…” I trailed off.

  “Hadn’t expected a demon to talk about God?”

  I pointed to the mocking inscription on the statue.

  “Well, yeah. I hope he’s got a sense of humor. But what do you think I believe in, a pig’s head on a stick?”

  “I guess I thought you believed in yourself.” In the end, that seemed to be what Yoshana believed in.

  “There’s been entirely too much of that going around for the last few hundred years. Come on, let’s get back to your saya. You ain’t gonna get out of work by changing the subject.”

  Seven gave me a thick blanket and let me sleep by the remains of the fire. He didn’t invite me to see the inside of his hut, and I wasn’t sorry. He had been perfectly hospitable, but the fact remained that he was what he was. I didn’t expect to find his dwelling decorated with human skulls and flayed skins, but I also really didn’t want to find out for sure.

  “Not much left around here stupid enough to mess with me,” he said, “and I’m pretty sure nothing followed you here. Still…”

  He spent nearly an hour teaching me a new ward, a network of fine tendrils; broader yet more subtle than Yoshana’s basic circle, easier to maintain than the cage.

  “She did teach you to meditate before you sleep?” he asked.

  “Yeah, I learned that the hard way.”

  “Didn’t kill anyone, did you?”

  I shook my head violently.

  “Good. Wasn’t really the hard way, then.” And he left me to think about that as I tried to rest.

  The next morning we breakfasted on berries and warmed over pork. With the Hellguard’s continuous prodding, I was able to finish the sheath and hilt for the katana.

  “Kinda disgraceful the way you’ve got the blade,” he said, glaring at the rust.

  “This wasn’t mine, you know. I’ve been trying to clean it up.”

  His expression couldn’t have been more contemptuous if I’d told him I was licking it clean with my tongue. “With a rock?” he asked sarcastically. “Didn’t occur to you that you’ve got better tools?”

  “I’ve been using the Darkness for two weeks, not three hundred years. It doesn’t come quite as naturally to me.”

  The huge man shrugged. “Fair enough. But now you know. Use it.”

  Stripping rust was far easier than carving a saya. Within fifteen minutes, the blade was gleaming.

  “Good. You’re learning.” The Hellguard shot me a look that seemed almost shy, then said gruffly, “There’s still a lot more I could teach you. You could stay. If you want.”

  Apprenticed to a demon.

  Why not? I’d been infected with the Darkness by an Overlord. The progression seemed only logical. I hadn’t fit in at Our Lady. I’d felt more at home among Yoshana’s bloody-handed gang. Maybe the best place for me was here in these haunted woods, with an outcast Hellguard.

  The just man is a light in darkness to the upright, Grigg had said. But what was I now? Was I a just man? What was I meant to do?

  I missed Grigg. Whatever his involvement in Yoshana’s schemes - and I couldn’t deny he was involved - he had always seemed a steady, dependable figure, like an older brother I’d never had. Missing Roshel was like a physical ache. From the way Grigg and Yoshana had talked, the younger Overlord might not have known their plans for me. Grigg had said Roshel truly cared for me.

  I even missed the horror herself. There was something strangely pure in her ruthlessness.

  “I don’t have your patience,” I told Seven. “I can’t sit here and wait it out. I’m not a three hundred year old immortal.”

  “You could be. With your blood and the prant, I could teach you to live forever.”

  “Not to sit here while my friends fight and die.”

  The Hellguard gave me a sad smile. “So you decided which direction you’re going?”

  Darkness flowed from Seven’s fingers, playing over my face, penetrating my skull. A path formed in my mind.

  “It’s been a while, but it’s not like the place should have moved,” he said. “Keep your probes thin like I showed you. You don’t see as much, but it’s harder for anyone or anything else to see you.”

  I nodded.

  “If you stay longer, I could teach you to deflect. No one would see you coming.”

  “And how long would that take? Somehow I don’t think that’s quick.”

  “No. That’s not quick.”

  “I don’t have that much time. If I wait, it’ll all be over before I’m done here.”

  The Hellguard nodded. “I get it. Sometimes I regret sitting it all out. Too late for me now. If you change your mind… if you get sick of it…” he chuckled ruefully. “It’s a good bet I’ll still be here.”

  “Thanks.”

  Awkwardly, I held out my hand. The demon’s huge, reddish paw engulfed it, and we shook. I turned and walked away, and didn’t look back.

  11. Going Home Again

  After a week of walking, you wouldn’t have thought the stone steps at the end would tire me so much. But I was gasping for breath by the time I reached the second gate at the top.

  “Oh, it’s you,” Furat said. “Glad you made it back.”

  “Don’t want to talk about it,” I wheezed. The last week had been hellish. Even with the techniques Seven had taught me, I had almost been killed twice. Not counting the time I’d been running away and tumbled a hundred feet down an embankment. If not for my unnatural healing, infection from all the dirt-filled scrapes and cuts I’d picked up might have finished me off. I shuddered, recalling things I’d rather forget. For the record, pigs could be infected with the Darkness.

  Seeing that Furat recognized me, his torch-bearing companions backed off. He still held out his knife, though.

  “Rules are rules,” he said. Even if those rules didn’t apply to grumpy Overlords.

  “Don’t bother,” I replied. I summoned up a ball of the Darkness in my palm.

  “Oh. So it’s like that, huh? I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. So where are the others?” He sheathed the blade. Apparently the rules didn’t apply to Select either, if they controlled the Darkness and were known to travel with grumpy Overlords.

  “Hopefully a long way behind me still.” I’d scanned Furat’s stronghold very thoroughly before going up, to make sure they hadn’t gotten in front of me. “We didn’t part on the best of terms.”

  The big man’s eyes widened. He had been turning the key in the iron gate’s heavy lock. He stopped.

  “I won’t stay long. If they do catch up with me, that’s not a fight I can win. But I could really use some hot food and a place to lie down for a little while. And if you happen to still have that stupid horse of mine, I’ve got some things you might like in trade.”

  I didn’t really want to give up either the ancient knife or the newly refurbished katana, but I’d need the horse if I wanted to be sure of reaching Our Lady before Yoshana caught up with me. Furat eyed me dubiously, then finished unlocking the gate.

  “I guess you’d better come in and tell me about it.” He wrinkled his nose and looked me over again. “Although co
me to think of it, there’s a bathtub in the second building on the right. I’ll send some water down. The story can wait.”

  I was clean, wearing fresh, loose-fitting clothes that might have been my host’s. There was a bowl of stew in front of me, which I’d been eating as I talked. The story lasted longer than the stew.

  “Wow,” Furat said when I’d finished. “You have really stepped in it. You did the exact opposite of listening when I told you people got hurt playing this game.”

  “What should I have done?” I snapped.

  He shrugged. “I don’t know. Staying in the Sorrows with the demon might have been a good option.”

  I’d had that same thought quite a few times over the past week. Seven was deadly enough to protect himself - and me - but had not seemed to be a homicidal maniac, unlike a certain Overlord I could mention. Yoshana would most likely never have found me there, and if somehow she had, even she would have thought twice about taking me on in the Hellguard’s home. Instead I had fought my way through the Darkness and its creatures so I could rejoin the weaker side in what might turn into the greatest war since the Fall.

  “They’re going to kill Prophetess. With me or without me, if they take down Yashuath, Prophetess is next. I couldn’t hide out in the woods and let that happen.”

  “And you think you can stop Yoshana?”

  I conjured the Darkness in my palm again. Serpentine, it twined around my fingers. “I think I’m the only chance Prophetess has.”

  Furat stared at my hand, then murmured, “I don’t think you answered the question.”

  I withdrew the Darkness. “I didn’t say it was a good chance.”

  He sighed and stood up. He really was massive - that he looked like an ordinary man to me now was only by contrast to the Hellguard. “I make my living off people that come through here with more guts than brains. I don’t know why I should care whether you get your dumb self killed or not.”