I swallowed the bite I’d taken. “All right. So we’ll do this your way. I understand I don’t have any claim on you. But I’d be lying if I said I wanted to take sex completely off the table.”
She opened her mouth to argue, but I held up my hand. “Just hear me out. Zel, last night was my first sex in almost four years. I’m not exactly expecting girls to start chasing me now any more than they did before. But I’d still like the option to have sex now and then, and it would be a whole hell of a lot less awkward to have it with you than it would be to have to explain everything to someone else.”
“You’re saying I’d be convenient?” For any other woman, that would’ve been an insult, but trust Zelda to look at it as a positive. “So we’d fuck when either one of us needed it?”
“I guess so, yeah.” This wasn’t what I wanted—not by a long shot—but it was something, and at this point, it was the best Zelda could give me.
“All right.” She looked relieved, her face clearing. “But we don’t tell anyone else about this, got it? Not about last night, not about anything else that might or might not happen between us. I don’t want Quinn and Gia and Nate looking at me funny or anyone waiting to see us fall in love. Because I want to be crystal clear, Eli. I’m not going to fall in love with you. And you’re not going to fall in love with me, either. Promise me that, or this is all off.”
I smirked. “Little bit cocky, aren’t you? Assuming that you’re so irresistible that not falling in love with you is going to be hard on me?”
She shook her head wearily. “It’s not me. It’s that people confuse sex with love, and if I’m the only one you’re having sex with, you could start thinking that there’s more between us than there is.”
“So if I’m very careful to remember that sex is just sex, and you and I are friends only, then . . . what? We’re friends with benefits? Occasionally?”
“And you don’t tell anyone. And you don’t act weird around me. No staring or . . . getting pissy when you hear that I’ve been with some guy. No being jealous or making snide remarks.”
“Fine. And same goes for me.” I stretched a smile over my face. “Don’t get bitchy when I’m flirting with other women.”
Zelda cocked her head. “If you’re going to be flirting with other women, why do you need me?”
I brushed the muffin crumbs off my bare chest. “Flirting isn’t sex.”
“Hmmm.” She glared at me for a moment and then sighed. “Whatever you say, Eli. Are you ready for me to drive you back to Liddleton? I’d like to get some more studying done today.”
“Sure.” I finished my coffee in one gulp. “Just let me get on my shirt.”
“Really? Don’t you want to give a thrill to the rest of the building on our way to the car?” Her tone was arch, and I grinned.
“Nah. I don’t want to dangle something in front of the ladies and then not deliver. And there’s only so much of me to go around.”
I could practically hear her eyes rolling as I returned to her bedroom to get my shirt. Today might not have gone exactly as I would have wished. Zelda might not be where I wanted her to be yet.
But it was a start.
Chapter Nine
Zelda
“Hey, Zelda, are you coming with us tonight?” Quinn stuck her head into my room. “Gia and I are just about ready to leave.”
I turned around from my desk, frowning as I glanced at Quinn. “I haven’t decided yet. I want to hang with you guys, but . . .” I chewed the corner of my lip. The truth was that I couldn’t really tell Quinn why I wasn’t completely on-board with going out for pizza with the girls, Nate and Eli. I wasn’t even comfortable admitting it to myself.
In the four months since our first night together, Eli had stuck to his part of the bargain with admiral fortitude. He hadn’t breathed a word about us having sex to Nate, I was positive; Quinn and Gia didn’t seem to be any the wiser about us hooking up, either. And when we were all together, which happened with increasing frequency, Eli was friendly and teasing, his normal snarky self, not paying any more attention to me than he did to Gia or Quinn.
For some perverse reason, that bothered me. I’d been the one to insist that it had to be this way. I’d been the one who said we had to keep our casual hook-ups on the downlow. I knew I was being ridiculous, but when we were all out together and some random ‘ho—excuse me, some other woman—came up and began flirting with Eli, I wanted to jump up and scratch out her eyes. I’d never experienced this before. I didn’t know jealousy, and I refused to acknowledge that I was feeling it now.
On the nights when we got together to study, just the two of us . . . well, then, everything was different. When we were alone, Eli didn’t make any secret of what he wanted; he touched me frequently, flirted shamelessly and somehow coerced me into revealing things about myself that I never shared with anyone else. I wasn’t sure how he did it. There was something about the way he listened and how he responded that made the man supremely easy to talk to, and apparently, I was putty in his hands.
The sex . . . well, it was like nothing I’d ever experienced before, and that, my friends, is saying something. I thought I’d done it all—or just about. During my years of experimentation and fun, I’d had threesomes and tried things that were more than mildly kinky. But sex with Eli was on another level altogether. I knew he’d worried at first that his lack of mobility meant I was compromising. He was totally wrong.
The other annoying part about the past few months had been that I had a growing suspicion—or perhaps more accurately, horror—that he was ruining me for other men. I’d had opportunities to hook up with guys. I’d gone to parties. I’d been propositioned in class and while walking across campus. But when I thought about having sex with these men . . . it just didn’t appeal to me. I didn’t want to spend my time in a strange bed, with a new man running his hands over my skin, when I could be hanging out with Eli—even if it didn’t lead to sex.
Something was seriously wrong with me.
Quinn cleared her throat, and I realized with embarrassment that she was still waiting for me to finish my answer about tonight.
“But?” she prompted.
“But . . .” I had to improvise fast. “I’m not sure I can handle listening to Gia go on and on about Matt and how amazing this summer is going to be.” I wrinkled my nose. “Isn’t it enough that I’m going to have to live it out in real time? Do I need to suffer through all the previews, too?”
Quinn sighed. “I know. And I also know she kind of backed you into a corner about this. You two had already agreed to share the apartment this summer when she announced that Matt was coming up here. And yeah, technically, he’s supposed to be staying with his grandparents, but . . .”
“But we both know Matt Lampert does whatever the hell he wants to do, and I don’t see him spending quality time with his grandma and grandpa when he could be partying here on campus.” I nodded. “I’m fully aware of that. I’ll be fine, though, doll. Don’t worry about me.”
“I feel like I’m abandoning you.” Wrapping her arms around her middle, she leaned into the doorjamb.
“You mean by going down to Carolina to spend the summer shacking up with your honey? Don’t be ridiculous. You totally have to do that, and like I said, it’s all good. If Gia and Matt get to be too much, I’ll just . . .” I shrugged. “Find an elsewhere to be.”
“Hmmm.” Quinn’s eyes lit up. “Just think, if you had a boyfriend, you’d have a safe place to run and hide.”
I shot her a quelling look. “First of all, I never run and hide. Second, what’s this new kick to get me to commit to one guy? You know me, doll. You know I don’t do serious or relationships. Why are you suddenly so interested in seeing me stuck with one boring man?”
“I don’t know.” She lifted one shoulder. “I don’t think you should—or ever would—be stuck with one boring man. But I also think you undersell yourself when you claim you’re not cut out for monogamy. You’re magnificent, Ze
lda. You have so much to offer. You just can’t see it yourself.”
I couldn’t help myself. I rose to my feet and went to the door, wrapping my friend in a tight hug. “Doll, you are the best person I know. I swear you see good in every single soul. I appreciate the vote of confidence, but trust me—I know myself pretty well. I’m happy for you and Leo—and God help us all, even for Gia and Matt, the most dysfunctional fools I’ve ever met. But that’s not for me.”
“All right, all right,” she sighed. “But will you come with us tonight anyway? Please? I promise I’ll keep Gia from talking too much. I like it better when we go as a group.”
“Okay.” I threw up my hands. “But only for you, Quinn. Just keep that in mind. Only for you.”
Santori’s was our favorite pizza joint for several reasons. One, since it was in Miltonville, it was far enough away from campus that very few Birch students ventured here to eat. Two, it was owned and operated by a family of second-generation Italians who knew what they were doing in the kitchen. And three, on Fridays, they had live music, featuring local and up-and-coming bands. That was something that appealed to Quinn and me more than the others, but still.
It wasn’t too crowded when we sat down that night. The waiter who came to take our drink order was cute, with curling dark hair, laughing brown eyes and seriously buff arms, and when he flirted with me, I flirted right back, gazing at him from under my eyelashes.
“What can I get you to drink, pretty lady?” He rested one hand on the back of my chair, his fingers grazing my back. “I have a lovely white wine that I think you would really enjoy.”
I pulled a regretful face. “I’m not old enough to drink wine . . . well, not here, anyway.” I winked, and he laughed.
“Are you sure?” His eyes raked over my body, lingering on my boobs. “You look pretty mature to me.”
“Unless you promise not to card me . . . and even then, sadly, I’m the driver tonight, so I think I’ll stick to sparkling water. With lime, please.” I smiled.
“He’s adorable.” Gia waggled her eyebrows at me as he walked away. “You should totally go for it with that one, Zelda. And then report back to us. In detail.”
I shook my head. “Nope. I make it a strict rule not to hook up with guys who work at my favorite restaurants. It’s too risky when I have to blow them off.” I shrugged. “I hate to lose a good place to eat for what could turn out to be ho-hum sex.”
Gia laughed. “I understand. Sex you can get anywhere. Really excellent pizza is harder to find.”
“Preach.” I lifted my hand, and she high-fived me, both of us cracking up until we almost fell out of our chairs.
“You two.” Quinn rolled her eyes. “I’m not sure leaving you alone together this summer is a good idea.”
“Oh, no worries, doll. We promise to behave.” I winked at her and then glanced at Eli, who was sitting across from me. He was grinning, too, and to my irritation, he didn’t seem at all put out by the way I’d been flirting with the waiter. For the love of God, was he made of steel? Couldn’t he give me the satisfaction of looking a little jealous?
“What are you two doing this summer?” Gia looked from Nate to Eli. “Are you staying on campus, or will you move back home?”
“I’ll be at home this summer.” Nate shifted, pointedly not looking at Quinn. “No reason for me to stay at the dorms. Besides, Tuck and I are moving into an apartment this fall, too. So we’d have to vacate the room we’re in now, no matter what.”
“You got an apartment?” I addressed Eli. “You didn’t tell me that.”
He shrugged. “Just happened. We found out today that we were approved for an accessible two bedroom on the first floor of Dawson. And we’re guaranteed to have it for the next two years.”
“That’s so awesome!” Quinn clapped her hands. “We’re going to be on the third floor. We’ll practically be neighbors.”
“Good to know in case I need a cup of sugar.” Eli nodded at Quinn. “You know, for all that baking I do.”
“The good news is that Zelda does bake, and now we’ll be close enough to benefit more from that,” Nate put in. “I foresee lots of muffins and cookies in our future, Tuck.”
“Only one of the upsides of living near her,” Eli agreed, his voice even. “Near all of the girls, I mean.”
“What are you doing this summer, Tuck?” Gia turned to face Eli. “Are you taking any classes?”
“Yeah, I’m taking a couple both sessions.” He toyed with the fork next to his plate. “I’m trying to get as many education credits under my belt as I can, so I can graduate on time with a double major.”
“Between you and Zelda, you make the rest of us feel like slackers,” Gia complained. “I’ll be happy to get out with one degree in one major.”
“Same here.” Quinn nudged me. “Ooooh, here comes our hot waiter again.”
He approached our table, his eyes on me, and in those eyes, I saw something familiar: it was that same old expression of cock-surety, the certainty that he could sweet-talk his way into my Victoria’s Secret bikini briefs. Usually, I responded to that attitude with a wide smile that confirmed his assumptions. We’d play a bit more, a little sparring and jabbing, some small touches and meaningful stares. Eventually, I’d make it clear that I was available for the night, and we’d work out the details. I’d go back to his place, or we’d find someplace else. And that would be it.
I could do it tonight, if I wanted. I knew that. In spite of what I’d said to Gia, if I were attracted enough to someone, all of my flimsy rules went out the window. This guy was new here, which told me that he wasn’t part of the Santori family. He might not even work here very long.
But even so . . . as he set my sparkling water and lime down on the table and not-so-accidentally brushed my arm with his chest when he leaned over, I didn’t turn my head to meet his eyes. Instead, I moved away just slightly, just enough to send him the message that I wasn’t being rude, but neither was I interested.
He understood. I knew it by the way he took my order moments later, polite but no longer so flirty. I almost expected to feel disappointment, but instead I was only relieved.
We ate our salads and pizza, and we’d just ordered dessert—cannoli, the specialty of the house. Nate and Gia were arguing good-naturedly over how they took their espresso, and I was half-listening in distracted amusement.
“Tuck!” A pretty red-head, petite and slender, came bounding over to our table, her gaze fastened on Eli. “Ohmigod, I can’t believe I ran into you here. How do you even know about this place?”
“Hey, Cora.” Eli smiled at her, his face lighting up. “Ah, I’ve been coming here since I was in high school. I grew up a town over, in Franklin. How about you?”
“Oh, my roommate is from Miltonville. She drags me over here once a month because she says no other pizza is worth eating.” Cora’s gaze flickered around the table. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt your dinner.”
“Nah, we’re just about finished, anyway. This is my roommate, Nate Wellman, and our friends, Gia, Quinn and Zelda. Guys, this is Cora. We’re both education majors, and we’ve been in a few classes together.”
“I’m just a freshman, but Tuck’s been so nice to help me.” She smiled, and fuck it all, the bitch had dimples. I stiffened my shoulders and narrowed my eyes as Cora laid her hand on Eli’s upper arm and rubbed it lightly. She was totally feeling his muscles. Her small body was pressed up to his side, and if I wasn’t wrong, one of her boobs was brushing against him.
I knew I was an enormous hypocrite, and I knew it was wrong, but every fiber of my being was screaming, MINE!
“I didn’t do anything anyone else wouldn’t have done.” Eli was looking up at her, and the warmth in his eyes made my stomach turn over. “You kept me from flipping out when Professor Crazy assigned a fifteen-page paper a week before spring break. So it works both ways.”
“Yeah.” For a moment—what was for me a long, awkward moment—the two simply
grinned at each other, as though the rest of us had vanished. Quinn nudged me and quirked an eyebrow.
“Well, I’ll let you get back to your friends.” Cora eased away with obvious reluctance. “My roommate’s back at the dorm, waiting for me to bring a pizza for us.” She hitched her purse onto her shoulder. “If you ever get a craving to come over here and need a lift, you’ve got my number. I’d love to . . .” She paused. “Uh, hang out when we’re not talking about school stuff.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.” Eli watched Cora as she walked over to the take-out counter. And maybe I was petty, but it looked to me like she was shaking her ass as she went. Not that she had much of one to shake. But still.
The minute she was out of earshot, Gia and Quinn pounced. “Oooooooooh.” Gia gave Eli round eyes. “Tuck’s got a girlfriend!”
His face actually went a little pink, and that nausea that had gripped my stomach earlier got a bit worse.
“Shut up,” he said without any heat. “Cora’s just . . . a girl in a couple of my classes. She’s nice.”
“Yeah, I could see by the way she kept feeling up your bicep just how nice she wants to be to you.” Quinn laid one hand alongside her cheek and batted her eyelashes. “‘Oh, Tuck, you’re so sweet and kind! And gee, isn’t it a coincidence that we both love the same pizza place? It’s practically fate.’”
“She wasn’t like that at all,” Eli protested. “You’re being totally ridiculous. She’s not interested in me.”
“Uh, dude.” Nate wagged his head. “Usually I’d have your back, but I have to say, the girls are right. If that girl had been any more into you, she would’ve been sitting on your lap. I think she’s giving you the signal. Now you just have to decide if you’re going to pick up on it.”
Eli shrugged. “I don’t see it.”
“The real question, Tuck, is whether or not you’d actually make a move.” Gia rested her chin in her hand. “You haven’t had a girlfriend since . . . um, since you’ve been at Birch, right?”
Next Man Up (Making the Score Football Romance Book 2) Page 16