Beat Around the Broom

by Samantha Silver

  I could not believe my luck, and for just a moment, I regretted being so harsh on Luna back at the house. I didn’t think for a second she was doing this on purpose, but I’d take a blessing where I could.

  “Oh, her? I’ve seen that cat around town a few times, she’s adorable,” I laughed as the nurse started snapping phone photos. As she did, I took a careful step toward the hallway, then another, and then I hurried down it as silently as I could. If anyone asked, I was just looking for the bathroom.

  There weren’t that many beds in the hospital, so finding Florence was just going to be a matter of looking in the right room, I thought. That was easier said than done. All it took was opening one wrong door for me to get a permanent ban from the hospital. Could they even do that? I certainly wasn’t keen on finding out.

  Fortunately, I didn’t have to let it come to that. The sound of a couple of harsh voices further down the hall drew my attention, and I hurried toward them, pressing myself against the wall to listen.

  “Mrs. Klein, I’m sorry,” came the voice of a young woman - younger than Florence looked, so I could only guess it was her doctor. “We have to keep you in here for the time being. I don’t have to tell you again how close you came to lethal levels of toxin in your stomach, the fact that you’re even awake right now is surprising. You are my patient, and I can’t have you pushing yourself this soon.”

  “Yes,” came the sound of a second woman with a somewhat more neurotic undertone to it, “I understand that, but as you can see, I’m very much not dead and very much not bedridden, so I want to be able to make a phone call!”

  “You’ve been through a lot, Mrs. Klein, I can understand why this would make your emotions run high-”

  “My emotions run high? Young lady, I’ll have you know-”

  “I have to be firm about this, ma’am, as your doctor,” the other woman said firmly, and Florence gave a huff so perfected that I could have sworn she was standing in a grocery store about to demand to see the manager.

  “I need to make a business phone call, doctor. I just lost my husband, I would hope you’d understand why that would make it all the more important that I have a chance to take care of my professional life!”

  “I understand, ma’am, but I would hope your business contacts would understand that as well. I can’t in good conscience let you go back to work when you need your rest, for your health’s sake. I’m going to be firm about that. Nurse, please keep an eye on Mrs. Klein, I have other patients I need to check in on.”

  “Of course, Dr. Frey.”

  Realizing that someone was about to come around the corner, I looked around wildly for a room into which I could duck in and hide. Thankfully, I spotted a restroom just across the hall, and I dove inside it just in time to hear the sound of footsteps clacking against the pristine floors outside. Once they were gone, I let go of the breath I was holding, then slipped out behind the doctor. I made my way out to the lobby, where I saw the same nurse sitting at her computer, typing away. I kept my head down and power-walked to the entrance to avoid talking to her.

  “Um, ma’am?” the nurse called after me, but I broke into a jog and slipped out the doors. Thankfully, Luna wasn’t far from the entrance, still chasing the same butterfly with about as much success as she’d had before.

  “Time to head out, Luna!” I said briskly, hopping on my broomstick. She trotted over and hopped on behind me, purring.

  “That was fast. Get anything good?” I was already hovering and gliding away, trying not to look too much like I’d just sort of broken the rules.

  “Well, the victim’s wife who also got poisoned is awake and fiery as ever,” I said. “Didn’t get a chance to talk to her, but she sounds like she’s doing okay. So, that’s good. She sounds like a real type-A. Reminds me a little of my sister.” Diana was absolutely the type to wake up from a near-death experience and demand to have a phone to take care of things at work first thing. Probably before even calling her family.

  “Sounds boring. I found a butterfly,” Luna said in a matter-of-fact tone.

  “I saw. You have a one-nurse fan club. I might have to bring you along more often; you make for a good distraction.”

  “That was my plan all along, obviously,” Luna said, sticking her chest out proudly. “But that’s the only favor you get. Any other distractions are going to cost you. I definitely smelled fresh fish from the market downtown. I think one tuna per stakeout sounds fair, don’t you?”

  “We’ll negotiate,” I said, rolling my eyes.

  Chapter 9

  I walked out of the hospital to find Luna pacing back and forth by the sliding glass doors, her tail sticking straight up and her nose pointed defiantly in the air. She looked awfully haughty about something, and I figured it was probably safe to assume it had to do with her being left outside while I went into the hospital. As soon as her green eyes landed on me, she came prancing over, looking rather sour.

  “What is it now?” I asked, feeling a little beleaguered.

  “Wow, that’s not the most friendly greeting I’ve ever received,” she replied sassily.

  “Well, you have a look on your face that tells me you’re about to complain about something,” I pointed out. If she could blush, she would have.

  “No, I wasn’t!” she lied unconvincingly. “I was just going to ask you how it went in there. You know, since I had to wait outside and miss all the action, of course.”

  “And there it is,” I said with a small smile, heading over to grab my broom. Luna trotted after me.

  “Well, how would you like to be stuck outside in the elements while I went inside to do some fun and exciting hospital sleuthing? You’d hate it, too, wouldn’t you?”

  “Hmm. A hospital that allows cats, but not people. Sounds sort of like the world’s worst vet’s office, if you ask me,” I said, giving her a smirk. She stopped in her tracks and glared at me suspiciously.

  “You’ve mentioned the vet twice today already, you know that? You’re starting to give me the heebie-jeebies. You’re not trying to hint at something, are you? Am I going to the vet soon, Artemis? You have to tell me. Oh moon,” she rambled, eyes going wide with fear.

  I knelt down to look her in the eyes. “Hey Lu? Chill. You’re not going to the vet anytime soon. Unless you keep fighting with Lucy, in which case you might end up there with a big scratch on your face.”

  “Pfft,” she scoffed. “As if Miss Priss could get a claw in edgewise against me. She may be bigger and fluffier, but she’s got no substance. She’s all fluff. But me? I’m from the mean streets. I’m scrappy. I can handle myself in a fight.”

  I burst out laughing, much to her dismay. “The mean streets? Luna, you sleep on a comfy queen-sized bed with me every night. You get freaked out if I leave the windows open too long in the summer because you don’t like bugs. You’re a little bit less of a street urchin than you think you are, I’m afraid to tell you,” I explained, grinning widely. As ridiculous and annoying as she could be from time to time, I was definitely grateful to have this little weirdo around. She certainly kept things interesting.

  “I’m so offended I don’t even know what to say,” Luna sniffed.

  “What? You’re speechless? You? Man, I thought this day would never come,” I giggled, standing back up and grabbing my broom to hop on. Luna leaped up to nestle into the carrier basket, still giving me the evil eye.

  “I suppose you’re going to make some cliched old ‘cat got your tongue’ joke now, hmm?” she quipped, tail twitching.

  “No, that would be too much. I try to keep my zingers from going stale,” I said. I kicked off the ground and my broom lifted up into the air. But just as I was about to point my broom toward home, I felt my cell phone vibrate in my sweater dress pocket.

  “What’s that? A text from Lara informing us that Lucy had died in a tragic grooming accident? One can only hope,” Luna grumbled.

  “Wow, Lu. That’s a little dark, don’t you think? Besides, you guys get
along half the time. I thought you might even be friends by now,” I said, pulling out my phone.

  “Friends? Ha! That’s insane. You’re insane. Never,” Luna retorted.

  “You can deny it all you want, but I’ve got photos on my phone here that would beg to differ,” I teased. “Photos of you curled up next to Lucy napping, photos of you two playing with the same toy in perfect harmony, photos of--”

  “What? What else do you have in that awful rectangle of shame?” she whined, pawing at my phone. But I was distracted by a text message I had received from Xander.

  “Hold on, Lu. I have a message I’m trying to read,” I said, holding my phone up higher so she couldn’t touch it. She sat back down in the basket and glared at me impatiently.

  “Well? What is it? Who is it? Why so secretive all of a sudden?” she questioned.

  “It’s Xander, okay? And he’s asking me to meet him at the precinct for lunch,” I admitted, feeling my face instantly start to burn. Luna rolled her eyes.

  “Ugh. Humans are so embarrassing with their stupid romantic entanglements. He likes her, but she likes someone else and that someone else likes the first guy - blah, blah, blah. It’s so exhausting. Don’t you people ever get tired of the dance? I mean, look at me! I don’t have a boyfriend and I’m perfectly fine,” Luna ranted as I scrolled over and read the message over and over again, trying to figure out how best to respond.

  “And now you’re ignoring me,” hissed my familiar.

  I looked up from my phone to stare at her, blinking slowly. “You know, you’re just about the neediest little creature to ever walk the planet,” I told her, shaking my head. “I’m not ignoring you. Besides, weren’t you just going on and on about how independent you are? If you’re so self-possessed, why do you need my attention so badly?”

  She made a sound oddly similar to a humanlike “harumph!” and turned away from me. I sighed and typed out a quick response to Xander.

  Be there soon! Should I bring anything?

  Half a moment later, I got my response.

  Nope. Just bring your gorgeous self. :)

  I bit my lip and slid the phone back into my pocket, feeling my heart rate pick up at his compliment. I leaned forward on the broom and it went zooming out of the hospital lot, heading down the road toward the part of town where the tiny police precinct was located. The building itself was pretty small, but that was perfectly fine considering how few police officers the town of Moonlight Cove kept employed. Of course, I had to wonder if maybe that number might be on the verge of going up, since we had endured more crime and mystery in the past year than we had in all the other years I spent growing up here combined. Or at least, it seemed that way. Growing up I never had any idea that my town was special. I assumed that pretty much everywhere in the world was just as safe - though at that rebellious age I probably would have been more likely to label it ‘boring.’

  When we arrived at the police headquarters, I nearly fell off my broom in my haste to get a move on. It hadn’t even come to a full stop when I slid off, my boots skidding a little on the pavement. Luna, who had spent the ride with her eyes closed, ears back, and head up enjoying the fresh air in spite of her complaints, popped up out of the basket wide-eyed.

  “Can I come in this time? It’s kind of nippy out here, you know,” she pointed out.

  I nodded. “Sure. As long as you promise not to be a nuisance. And don’t get into trouble. And don’t touch anything important.”

  “Sheesh,” she hissed as she hopped out of the basket and landed gracefully on the pavement beside me. “What do you think I am, an agent of destruction? I’m a cat, not a tornado.”

  “Well, just judging by the way you leave your litter box sometimes, you could’ve fooled me,” I quipped, turning to walk into the building.

  “Ew, Arti! No need to get so crass,” she retorted, following after me. I pushed open the front entrance and we both went inside, looking around for signs of Xander. I knew where his office was located, but after the time I sort of kind of broke into the building a while back, I still felt a little awkward wandering around in here.

  Luckily, Xander seemed to have been waiting for me, because he came around the corner smiling and waving. “Hey Artemis! Oh, and hi, little kitty,” he said, raising an eyebrow at Luna.

  She gave me a dubious expression that nearly made me laugh out loud. “This is Luna, my familiar. You may have met before at some point,” I said, smiling as Xander knelt down to try and scratch her under the chin. She shrank back at first, eyeing him with suspicion, and then finally gave in and let him pet her.

  “Wow, that’s impressive. She’s usually really standoffish with, well, people in general,” I said, surprised at how easily she gave in.

  Xander stood back up and gave me a grin. “She’s beautiful. I can see why she’s your familiar. You suit each other well,” he remarked. And that was all it took. I was blushing furiously while Luna seemed to almost glow with appreciation. She did enjoy flattery.

  “Come on in,” he said, leading me back to his office. We walked inside and I smiled to see two identical meatball subs sitting on his desk, complete with folded napkins and a big bottle of elderflower lemonade I recognized as coming from one of the gourmet food shops in town.

  “I know, I know, it’s not the fanciest setup in town, and meatball subs aren’t the most romantic of meals to share with your girlfriend, but I likely won’t get much time away from the office until this Klein case is solved,” Xander said rather bashfully.

  I sat down in the chair across from his and reached for the meatball sub with glee, my stomach rumbling at the mere smell of it. “Don’t apologize, this is perfect,” I told him, still on cloud nine from hearing him call me his girlfriend. “Besides, I’m working on the case with you, too, so it’s kind of fitting that we would eat here. We can consider it a two-in-one lunch date and work meeting, if you like.”

  Xander sat down and grabbed his meatball sub, grinning in a way that made my heart flutter. “I would like that very much, actually.”

  “So,” I started after taking a huge, definitely unsexy bite of my sandwich. “Here’s my update: I went to see Karrie at the furniture warehouse. Either she’s a world-class actress or she was not involved in the poisoning. From there, I went to visit Florence Klein in the hospital. They wouldn’t let me in to actually have a chat with her, but I did overhear her kind of yelling at some folks there, so she’s alive and well enough to do that, at least.”

  “Oh, good. That’s a relief to hear,” Xander said, nodding. “My update is that my lab did some testing on the poisoned pastries and it’s been determined that the poison used in the murder comes from a certain magical mushroom that grows wild in the nearby woods.”

  “What? Really? A magic mushroom?” I asked, totally blindsided.

  He nodded slowly. “Well, a magical mushroom. Not a magic mushroom as in the fun, recreational mushroom that makes you hallucinate that you’re living inside one of Picasso’s paintings until you have a panic attack and have to take a long shower to calm down,” he said.

  I couldn’t help but chuckle and raise an eyebrow. “That sounds awfully specific.”

  “Not that I’m speaking from experience or anything, of course,” Xander added hastily.

  “Right, that would be kind of weird since that’s not a super legal drug and you’re a cop and all that jazz,” I teased him, taking genuine delight in the way his face went blotchy with embarrassment. Goodness, he was so darn cute. And full of surprises.

  Still, I decided to put him out of his misery by moving on. “Anyway, that sounds like a story for another time. Right now, we need to figure out what our next move is going to-”

  I was interrupted by a sharp knocking at the office door. Xander frowned, and I read on his face that he definitely wasn’t expecting anyone at the moment. “Sorry. Give me a sec,” he said, getting up and opening the door. To my surprise, there was a stunningly gorgeous young woman standing there with a
big, perfect smile on her face. She was tall; tall enough that one might call her statuesque, and she had the slender, willowy sort of body I usually associated with runway models in Milan or whatever. She had shoulder-length, pin-straight blonde hair, cinnamon-brown eyes, and a button nose. The woman was dressed in a black pencil skirt, black tights, a red blouse with some seriously impressive cleavage, and a fitted blazer with black fur trim. Topping off the femme fatale look were her black-as-night stiletto pumps, which made my well-worn black boots look frumpy by comparison.

  “June,” Xander said, and I could read the surprise in his voice and on his face. Clearly he knew this woman from somewhere, and judging by the way she was eyeing him like he was an especially juicy slab of filet mignon, I had to assume they had some kind of history.

  “Sorry to drop in unannounced like this, but I’ve just flown back in from Chicago, and I wanted to say hi,” she said, batting those long lashes coquettishly. Luna, who had been comfortably curled up under my chair, poked her head out and gave the woman a disgusted look.

  “Oh. Uh, well, welcome back to Moonlight Cove,” Xander said awkwardly.

  The woman leaned around him to look at me, doing a double take as though just noticing me for the first time. “Oh! I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you already had a guest. For lunch, too. How adorable. Meatball subs? What a treat,” she said, giving me a smile that did not reach her eyes at all. I could positively feel Luna bristling underneath me.

  “It’s no trouble,” Xander said, obviously torn between wanting to be polite to this woman and wanting to preserve what was left of our little lunch date. “Did you want to, uh, come in and chat for a minute?”

  “That would be lovely!” said June, her eyes lighting up as she pushed past him into the office. She sat on the edge of the desk and looked at me with her head tilted to one side, looking me up and down with bored curiosity.

  “Hi. Um. Nice to meet you,” I said, awkwardly setting my sub down on my lap.