Beat Around the Broom

by Samantha Silver

  “That would be pretty illegal, so I’ll just be glad that’s not the case,” Xander said with a smile that was only half-joking. “Can you tell me who all was at the house today who might have had access to the pastries you ate for breakfast?”

  “The only people over at the house this morning were me, my husband, and Karrie,” Flo said, looking up at the ceiling thoughtfully. “Karrie brought over the pastries, and she showed up right on time, as always. She’s good people. Bit of a nervous type, but she’s got a good head on her shoulders. I won’t do your job for you, but I wouldn’t suspect her for a second, if it were me.”

  “That’s perfectly fine to say, your input is valuable in all this,” Xander said, nodding. “In fact, we’ve already had a chat with Karrie, haven’t we, Arti?” He looked to me, which surprised me. I was expecting to be the backseat interviewer for all this time.

  “Oh, uh, yes!” I replied. “She picked up the pastries from The Magic Bean, and the food was only unattended for a short time while she ran to the bathroom, she said. And I got a list of other customers who were at the Bean at the same time as her: a couple tourists, Laura Mimir, George Balder, and Jordan Orin.” That was where I had heard George Balder’s name before. He had been one of the customers in The Magic Bean while Karrie was picking up the pastries.

  As soon as I mentioned Jordan’s name, Florence’s expression turned sour, and her mouth fell open.

  “That son of a-,” she murmured, trailing off. Xander and I glanced at each other with raised eyebrows before Xander leaned forward and furrowed his brow.

  “I take it that name means something to you, Mrs. Klein?”

  “You’re darn right it does, that’s Arnold’s ex-business partner,” she said with vitriol.

  “Right, we’ve been looking into him,” Xander said with another nod to me. “But it would be helpful to hear things from your point of view, if you don’t mind.”

  “Well, like I said, they used to be business partners working together for the furniture company,” she said. “He ran business at a turtle’s pace. No ambition. So when Arnold finally got the nerve to start doing things his way, we didn’t lose any sleep when Jordan decided to back out and go do his own thing. He’s been jealous ever since hearing about how we’re doing leagues better without him around.”

  “Really?” I said, tilting my head to the side. That wasn’t what I heard from Jordan. “Can you elaborate?”

  “A few months ago, he sent this downright vile letter to Arnold, seething about all the differences the two had over the years and all in all just being the world’s sorest loser. I don’t think he ever liked Arnold. The letter was full of empty threats and complaining, it just reeked of insecurity.”

  “Threats?” Xander asked, cocking an eyebrow.

  “You know how business partners can get,” she said. “He claimed some aspects of the business model and advertising strategy were things he’d come up with instead of both of them. It wasn’t anything explicitly threatening, but the implication was there.”

  “Can we see this letter?” Xander asked.

  “I destroyed the thing,” she said, shaking her head. “Didn’t want that stormcloud over Arnold’s head.”

  Xander frowned, but he nodded and stood up.

  “Still, that’s helpful. Thank you, Mrs. Klein, I think this is a good lead to follow through more thoroughly.”

  “Thank you, Chief,” she said, and we headed out of the room. We barely made it out before we were met with the doctor, who was hovering around outside the door.

  “I see you’ve met Mrs. Klein,” Dr. Freeman said with a smile as I closed the door behind us.

  “That we have,” Xander said with a knowing smile. “Mind if I get a few words from you while we’re here, Dr. Freeman?”

  “That’s why I was waiting around for you,” she chuckled. “Figured you’d want a statement. Here’s a copy of my paperwork,” she said, handing Xander a small stack of papers full of forms that looked extremely dense. “But I can give you the short version here and now: the poison was magical, a kind of modified mixture of a rare plant that’s been used for centuries by witches and other paranormals, since it can only be made with spells that are, let’s say beyond illegal. Your perp laced those cinnamon buns with more than a lethal dose, so there’s no question in my mind that this was foul play, unfortunately.”

  “Tasty way to go, at least,” I offered. Xander and the doctor both raised an eyebrow at me, and I blushed for a second before the doctor went on.

  “The fact that Florence only ate half of hers is what saved her. It’s a fairly fast-acting poison. I’d imagine it could have been fairly easy for, say, Arnold to have eaten his before Florence had a chance to start picking at hers, and by the time she got around to her half, Arnold would have already been starting to show symptoms.”

  “That would line up with the timeline we have,” Xander said, nodding. “I don’t suppose you’ve had any similar cases in town that didn’t get reported to the police?”

  “I’m afraid not,” she said, shaking her head. “In fact, I’m surprised to have gotten a chance to see a case like this. In medical school, I always assumed it was something I’d never see in person.”

  “Well, Moonlight Cove is getting stranger than fiction these days,” I said.

  “Thanks, doc, I’ll look these over and get back to you with any questions,” Xander said, and the doctor gave us a polite nod and waved us off as we headed for the exit.

  “Alright, so, definitely poison, and Jordan might have a motive,” Xander said. “What are your thoughts, Arti?”

  “Jordan definitely didn’t seem like the type of person Florence painted him to be,” I said reluctantly. “Mild mannered, kept insisting they parted on decent terms, seemed to be doing pretty well for himself. I didn’t see any signs of a desperate man trying to keep a failing business afloat.”

  “Interesting. But people can be surprising,” Xander said, frowning. “Some people lead such double lives you’d never guess. In any case, sounds like it’s time for another visit to him. What do you say we hit his office next? He should be back from any lunch break by now, and if he’s not, we can figure out his usual spots.”

  “Sounds good,” I said as we left the hospital, but as we were grabbing our brooms, my phone buzzed. I frowned, taking it out and looking at the screen.

  It was Lara. I winced. Somehow, I felt like I knew what the call was about before even picking it up.

  Darn it, Luna, why can’t you just chill for a few weeks?

  “How bad is it?” I answered the phone.

  “O-oh! Hey Arti!” Lara’s voice chimed, but there was a nervous edge to it, and the next thing I heard was a loud feline howling from the background. “Um, it’s not great, I’ll be honest. I was calling to see if you happened to know a few tricks on how to calm Luna down? I’m so sorry, the two of them are really getting into it this time. I can’t even get Lucy to listen to me.”

  I groaned, letting my head fall back.

  “No, no, I’m sorry, I don’t know what’s gotten into Luna lately. Is anything broken?”

  “Not that I’m aware of, but they’re racing around the house so fast I’m a little bit afraid to go back inside. I’m kind of hiding on the deck right now.”

  “Don’t worry, I’m on my way. Luna isn’t a crisis anyone can deal with remotely, I don’t think.”

  “Thanks, Arti,” Lara gushed, relieved.

  “Be there in five,” I said, ending the call and giving Xander an apologetic look. But before I could say anything he held up a hand and smiled warmly.

  “I could hear the cat from all the way over here, you don’t have to explain anything,” he said. “You go play negotiator, and I’ll check in on Jordan. We’ll meet up afterward.”

  I felt so relieved I could kiss him.

  “Okaythankyouseeyoulaterbesafe!” I said in a hurry as I hopped on my broom and kicked off, racing back to the manor as fast as I could muster.

>   At least five of Luna’s nine lives had to be used up by now, and I wasn’t keen on either she or Lucy losing any more today. Plus, I was planning on using up one of them when I throttled her as soon as I got home.

  Chapter 13

  Saying I didn’t know what to expect when I raced back up to the B&B would have been a half-lie. I didn’t know exactly, but I had a pretty good mental image of what was going on, and the sounds I heard as I pulled up the walkway on my broom didn’t do much to prove me wrong. A howl so bloodcurdling that I could have sworn I was going to walk in on a murder scene came from the house, and I wasn’t sure who’d come out on top in a fight like that. I supposed I was about to find out.

  I tried to open the door, but the second it was ajar, I felt something push it closed again right in my face. I blinked, recoiling, then opened the door again and saw what shut the door in my face. The two cats were darting down the hallway, one of them having rebounded off the door right when I was opening it. Good start.

  “Hey, hey, hey!” I shouted, hurrying through the door and shutting it behind me. “Luna, knock it off!”

  “She started it!” Luna shouted across the house as the two raced, and the sound of something crashing in the kitchen made its way to my ears. Huffing, I hurried down the hall, where the remnants of the plates I had left in the sink to be washed had shattered all over the tile floors.

  “How did you even…?” I groaned, putting my hands to my hair and wanting to start ripping it out. Before I could open my mouth to start shouting at the cats again, I heard a desperate tapping on the glass door to the deck out back. I looked over and saw Lara there, her face frozen in an apologetic grimace as she waved at me.

  I rolled my eyes with a smile and opened the door for her.

  “I’m so, so, so sorry,” she gushed as she practically collapsed back into the house. “I tried to talk some sense into Lucy but she keeps going on about how Luna’s being unreasonable and I totally don’t mean your cat is actually unreasonable but Lucy just gets this way sometimes and when she goes off I can’t get a word in edgewise and-”

  “Lara!” I stopped her, just as she was getting blue in the face from her one-breath sentence. “Lara, I promise it’s okay.”

  “Okay. But are you sure, though?”

  “Moon help me, yes, it’s fine. Luna’s just as liable to be the instigator,” I assured her. “Please tell me the guests have already checked out.”

  “Yeah, they got out of here right after you left last time,” Lara said, delighted to give me some good news. “They seemed like they had a great time, so I don’t think they minded the first spat the cats had too much.”

  “Thank the moon,” I breathed, turning to the vague direction of the rest of the house and putting my hands on my hips, furrowing my brow. “Alright, you two, if you can hear a can of cat food opening from across the house, you could hear that! Guests are gone, that means the gloves come off! I’m giving you one last chance to calm down and-”

  As if in response, something crashed upstairs, and this time, Lara winced.

  “That came from my room, I think. My fault for leaving the canvas out that precariously.” My eyes widened, and I let my shoulders slump.

  “Alright, don’t worry, we got this. Two cat moms, two magical fingers, two brains. We can break up a cat fight.”

  “I tried to break up a cat fight with my hands when I was fourteen,” Lara said as I started to literally roll my sleeves up. “Still have the scars!”

  “Yeah, which is why we’re using magic,” I said. “Let’s stick together and take this tactically.”

  “Tactically? Like what?”

  “I don’t actually have a plan,” I admitted, holding my finger at the ready. “But we’ve got, I don’t know, moxie.”

  “Good enough for me. Let’s do this.”

  Lara and I advanced down the hallway after the cats as carefully as we could. The sounds of cartoonish destruction had at least slowed down, so I held out hope that I might have walked in on the end of their little grudge match. We followed the sounds of growling all the way to Lara’s room, where I peeked inside, and my gut wrenched.

  Whatever piece Lara had been working on painting was in complete shreds all over the floor and the bed, and apparently, she’d been working on it recently, because there were paw prints of blue and green paint all over the room. Lara’s jaw dropped, and my face went pale.

  Worse yet, the cats were both on the bed, and it looked like things were nowhere near over. Both had their hair standing on end, ears back, eyes wide, and occasionally spitting at each other.

  “Lucy,” Lara said slowly, holding a hand out. “Don’t try to pin this on Luna, this is not the first time you’ve taken a fight to my studio. You know that’s a low blow.”

  “Yeah, Lucy, tell her all about low blows,” Luna snarled.

  “Don’t you try to make yourself look good,” I snapped at Luna, brandishing my finger. “I thought we had an understanding!”

  “All’s fair in love and war,” Luna retorted, tail flicking.

  “Okay,” I told Lara, glancing at her, “I’m going to try to slow them down, maybe that’ll let us at least get a hold of them without clawing all our skin off.”

  “Oh! So you got your spell issues fix-”

  “Tardiuroa!”

  Bright yellow light arced from my finger to the cats before Lara’s words could even register in my mind, and as soon as they did, I nearly had a heart attack. The room flashed with bright light, and for a heart-stopping moment, I wondered if I’d just blown our cats to smithereens.

  But when the light faded, I saw both of them looking about as confused as we were. Then they realized they were still standing across from each other, and the hissing resumed for a moment before Luna bolted toward Lucy, and Lucy took off toward us, darting under our legs.

  They were both moving about twice as fast as they normally did.

  “Oh shoot,” I gasped as the feline blur of hair and claws flashed by me faster than I’d ever seen a cat move.

  “What on earth happened?” Lara cried as the cats vanished down the hall.

  “I tried to cast a slowing spell on them, but I think I sped them up,” I groaned.

  “Well that’s not good,” Lara said, the despair written all over her face.

  I bolted down the hall to the stairs, where Luna’s tail disappeared as she whipped around the corner. Darting after them, and I caught them dashing up the stairs, on the wall, running parallel to the ground.

  “Son of a- remind me to never cast a spell again,” I panted as I hurried up the stairs, Lara close behind me, staring up in terror at the cats who were now running along the ceiling and down the wall to the floors again.

  As I hurried up the stairs, I could hear a string of some of the foulest language I’d ever heard coming out of Luna’s mouth.

  “Luna! Where did you learn those words?!” I shouted at her as I darted into my bedroom, where the two were dashing under the bed. Perhaps foolishly, I ran to the edge of the bed and got on my knees to pull the blanket up and look underneath. I heard the sound of a fierce growl, and I screamed as both cats bolted out over me.

  Out of sheer reflex, I put my arms up and squeaked the spell that any self-respecting witch might utter when something very, very fast was racing toward them.

  “Prohiberoa!”

  The spell should have stopped them, but of course, nothing was going right today, so instead, purple light surrounded the two cats just before Luna used my shoulder as a springboard, and as I fell on my back, I looked up to see two bats flying through the room where Luna and Lucy had once been, one black and one white. Oh, and they were still moving twice as fast as usual.

  I covered my face with my hands and groaned as they zipped out the door, chittering madly at each other and circling in the air.

  “Well, all the windows are closed, so I think you might have saved most of the fragile things in the house, whether you meant to or not,” Lara said, reachi
ng down to help me up to my feet. As soon as she said that, I heard the sound of delicate glass breaking down in the kitchen.

  “Except the wine glasses,” I replied. “But other than that, I think we’re good, we just need to wait for them to tire themselves out.” I looked down at my finger, and I wanted to chop it off. Instead, I stamped my foot and gave my head a shake. “I can’t understand what’s going on with my magic. It’s never this bad, not even during a lunar eclipse! I just don’t know what the problem is,” I said, starting to march out the room and downstairs with Lara. “It must be a problem with me, but I haven’t felt anything off at all.”

  “It sounds like a curse,” Lara said, and my eyes widened.

  “Curse?”

  “Sure,” she said with a shrug. “I mean, it’s not that common and it’s a pretty dirty move, but it happens. There are a lot of paranormals in Hollywood, so it usually happens with celebrity rivalries. If only humans knew how much in the tabloids was really true.”

  “I bet,” I mused with a sigh. “But I can’t imagine who on earth would want to curse me.”

  “Yeah, it’s usually the kind of thing that only happens between people with grudges against each other for one reason or another, and unless there’s another B&B in town, I can’t imagine who wouldn’t like you.”

  “Besides the local murderer community, I guess,” I ventured, stroking my chin. Lara snickered at my half-joke, but as she did, I felt my heart sinking. “Hold on. It’s quiet.”

  “Too quiet,” Lara agreed, suddenly looking concerned. We took off through the house, looking around for signs of more chaos, or moon forbid, an open window. We found neither, and while Lara used a spell to clean up the messes in the kitchen, I crept down the hallway toward Lara’s room again.

  To my surprise, I found the two cat-bats hanging from the doorway next to each other, peering into the absolutely chaotic scene inside.