“Um, let’s say that I agreed with you. Do you really think it’s okay that John and I have completely opposite opinions about those kids in the other car?”
“I think it is, especially since when you talked you were both under a lot of stress and both in pain,” Katie said. “Maybe you should consider that neither of you were thinking clearly when you talked.”
“And that even people who love each other don’t always agree,” E.A. murmured.
“Thank you. I . . . well, you both have really helped me tonight.”
E.A. smiled at her. “That makes me happy.”
Marie took her slice of pie from the tray and set it in her lap. “Now, which one of you made the pie?”
“Neither of us. Tricia Warner did,” E.A. said.
“Really?” Until recently, they’d only known her as Andy’s little sister. But now that she had started dating Logan, she was slowly becoming integrated into their close-knit group, much like Kendra had a few years ago.
“I know,” Katie said with a smile. “It turns out Tricia has a lot of skills none of us ever knew about, one of which is that she’s a mighty fine baker.”
Marie was glad the talk had turned from her but was starting to think maybe Trish’s name coming up in conversation wasn’t an accident. “She and Logan have gotten close.”
“At first I thought they had gotten closer because they both were hurting from Andy’s death. But now I think they really have fallen in love.”
“Do you think the rumors are true about Tricia wanting to become Amish?” E.A. asked.
“I know she is serious. Logan took her to church last week, and they stayed late and met with Preacher Able and the bishop,” Katie said. Smiling at Marie, she said, “Maybe one day you and John will finally become a real couple.”
“Um, actually, I think we might already be. Last Saturday night we kissed.”
Elizabeth Anne chuckled. “Marie, you always do make mountains out of molehills. What did he do, kiss you on the cheek when you picked him up at his house?”
“No.” After debating how to describe what happened, Marie plunged forward. “We um, well, we kind of made out in the middle of the corn maze.” There. She said it.
Katie laughed. “Ack, Marie . . . You mean you two made out in the corn maze just like all the teenagers do?”
“We did.” It was a struggle to not blush profusely, though she had a feeling she was already doing that.
“What happened?”
“I don’t know. One minute we were walking, and then the next? John was holding me close and we were kissing like it was our last day on Earth.”
And it felt just as embarrassing to say out loud as she’d feared it would.
After a brief moment of silence, both of her girlfriends grinned even wider.
“I’m so glad I came over,” Elizabeth Anne said as she playfully fanned her face. “Tell us all about it.”
“I just did.”
“Details, girl.” Katie smiled. “I’m never going to be kissing John Byler. I never even thought about it, but now I’m kind of thinking that I should have been!”
“I’m not going to share anything more,” Marie said primly. “I’m not that kind of girl.”
“Spoilsport,” Katie teased as she leaned back on the couch and tucked her feet under her dress. “Well, at least we know that the two of you are serious.”
“And that argument of yours now makes a whole lot more sense,” Elizabeth Anne added.
“How do you figure that?”
“Everything matters more when you’re in love, Marie. Surely even you English girls have learned that?”
TWENTY–THREE
“Andy carried you for a good long while, Marie,” Katie said. Glancing at John, she said, “Though I’m pretty sure that John B. carried you even longer.”
Maybe it was the accident that had triggered everything, but the dreams that had plagued Marie for most of her life were now happening almost nightly. Each night, just after one or two, they came to visit, each one a carbon copy of the previous evening, alike in every sense, just starring different characters.
But it didn’t matter, the outcome was always the same. She would be walking through some kind of store, holding one of those handheld plastic baskets that she always regretted taking because they inevitably got too heavy too fast, when she’d hear a loud bang and then someone unexpected would appear in front of her.
Because she had never liked surprises, she would stop abruptly, raise her hands in protest, and then ultimately veer off in a different direction.
When she was a child, she used to run into all sorts of scary things at night: cliffs, dark caves, dangerous-looking alleyways. On a really bad night, she would run into her absolute worst fear—a clown. When that happened, she would wake up screaming, and either her mother or father would rush to her side and sit with her until she fell asleep again.
Her latest dreams had nothing to do with dark alleyways or scary-looking clowns. Instead, she always ended standing next to Andy’s grave.
The first time Marie had come upon his grave, she’d burst into tears. Over the last few nights, though, she’d begun to realize that his grave wasn’t something to be feared. No, it was something that she needed to see in person.
Which was why that Sunday, after barely making it through church, she’d begged off from sharing lunch with her parents and did what she’d needed to do—what she had felt like she couldn’t wait another day to do—she went to sit by his grave.
As it had the day of the funeral, the sight of Andy’s place of rest made her feel disoriented. She couldn’t see the neat rows of headstones without thinking about how much Andy would have hated the orderliness of it. He’d been brilliant, kind, often funny, and always full of himself. Yeah, he’d been a great many things, but he’d never, ever been one for following the rules.
Even seeing his headstone, on which his parents had placed his name, dates of birth and death, and BELOVED SON, BROTHER, AND FRIEND didn’t do him justice.
But really, how could five simple words ever describe the boy who used to light up a room just by entering it?
Because she didn’t believe in making a visit without bringing a gift along with her, she brought him a package of his favorite red Twizzlers.
As she weaved her way down the walkways toward Andy’s grave, Marie scanned the area. When she realized no one was around, she breathed a sigh of relief.
Hardly caring about what the grass was going to do to her cream-colored pants, she sat down and placed the package of Twizzlers next to his headstone.
Immediately, she felt his surprise.
“I know. It’s kind of a waste, isn’t it? I probably should’ve split the package up before I gave you some. But what would I do with it? You know I never did like them.” She pointed to her mouth. “I’ve always been afraid that they’d hurt my teeth.”
She felt his eye-roll.
“Come on, Andy, don’t be too harsh. We can’t all be like you and eat junk food all your life and never gain a pound.”
This time, she didn’t imagine he said anything to her back. Instead, only silence. It left her feeling empty. Okay, maybe more empty.
Tears formed in her eyes. “You know, I’m just going to say it. I could have really used your advice over these last couple of days, Andy. I don’t know what I’m doing with John. Worse, I don’t have any idea about what I should be doing. Everyone seems to be so intent to keep us all in our own areas in life. We’re supposed to be Amish or English, and only fall in love with people like us. But what happens when it feels like we never had a choice, when everything we do becomes so hard?”
Stewing and suddenly needing something to do, she reached over, opened the package of Twizzlers, and pulled out one long strand and bit down. The sweet cherry taste exploded in her mouth . . . and seemed to fasten like super glue to the three fillings in her back molars.
“Andy, I swear, if this thing pulls out a filling I’m goi
ng to be so mad.” Then, perversely, she bit off another bite and chewed, and wondered if that Twizzler was like her current situation in life. She kept doing things she knew she shouldn’t.
Like making out with John in the middle of a corn maze.
She sighed. “Is life supposed to be this hard?”
“I don’t know.”
Stunned to hear another voice, Marie turned. “Tricia! You scared me.”
Andy’s little sister raised her eyebrows. “I have to say that you kind of scared me, too. This is the first time I’ve turned the corner and saw someone practically sitting on top of Andy’s grave.” She narrowed her eyes. “Did you bring him Twizzlers?”
“Yeah.” She lifted the open package. “Want one?”
Tricia eyed the package suspiciously. “How long has it been sitting there?”
“I just opened it. A couple of minutes.”
“Oh. Well, then sure. Thanks.” Tricia got on her knees, kind of scooted onto the grass, pulled out a strand, and took a bite. “Boy, I haven’t had one of these in years.”
“You don’t love them like Andy did?”
She rolled her eyes. “Uh, no. I don’t think anyone does.” She kicked out her legs. “You know, what’s funny is that none of us could ever figure out when he became such a big fan of them.” She lowered her voice. “Mom was always sure that he was going to get a mouthful of cavities, but he never did. Always had the best teeth in the family.”
The comment sparked a memory from high school. “He used to have a smile that made girls go weak in the knees.”
Tricia laughed. “He did have a great smile. He knew it, too. Every once in a while, he’d try it on me or Mom to try to get his way.”
“Did it work?”
She laughed. “Uh, no. We loved him, but we knew better than to always let him get his way.” She flashed another smile, showing Marie that Andy wasn’t the only one with a blinding smile. “My dad used to say he should write a children’s book about boys like Andy.”
“Why?”
“Because Andy was manipulative. I adored him, but if you gave my brother an inch, he’d try to steal a mile.”
“Maybe that’s why we always let him be our leader,” Marie mused.
“I don’t think he actually cared who made all the decisions, Marie.” Tricia’s voice softened. “Logan and I have talked about my brother a lot. And you know what? I don’t think Andy ever intended to boss around the Eight, it just kind of happened from time to time. I know Andy never considered himself to be the Eight’s leader.”
“You might be right,” Marie said softly. “What’s funny is that whether he was our leader or not didn’t really matter. He was just Andy. Andy with the good ideas and the really good smile.” Thinking about that, she bit down on another chunk of licorice, letting the sweetness melt on her tongue before swallowing. When Tricia smiled at her, Marie grinned. “I never noticed it before, but you have Andy’s same smile.”
“You think so?” Trish looked genuinely surprised.
“What, you haven’t noticed that before?”
She shook her head. “Andy was so bright, I don’t think it ever occurred to me to compare myself to him.”
“You might not agree, but I think he would have said that was a mistake.”
“Yeah. Maybe.” Her voice was faint. Not doubtful, but more like Marie had told her something that she had never considered before.
After a few moments passed, Marie looked at Tricia again. “Do you come here very often?”
“About once a week.” Looking at Andy’s stone, she said, “I like to come here and tell him how everyone is doing. Tell him about me.” Her voice cracked. “He was always sure I was going to do something stupid. He used to say I was the smartest silly girl he knew.”
“Does it help, talking to him?”
“Some weeks talking to this darn stone is the only thing that gets me through it.” Her brown eyes widened, doubts filling her head. “Do you think, you know, that hanging out in a graveyard is bad?”
“I’m the last person to judge you.” She swallowed. “Actually, I think what you’ve been doing might have been the smartest thing I’ve heard of any of us doing.”
“Really?”
Marie nodded as she stood up. “I’m going to leave you alone so y’all can talk.”
“I feel bad. I didn’t mean to make you leave.”
“No, I think I was ready.”
Tricia nodded as she stood up and gave her a hug. “Hey, Marie?”
“Yeah?”
“Thanks.”
“For what? I didn’t do anything.”
“You’ve done more than you realize. Really, you’ve helped a lot.” She shrugged. “I guess I needed to be reminded that it was okay to miss Andy.”
“You helped me remember that, too.” Marie leaned close, hugged Andy’s little sister again, then picked up her purse. “Tell Logan I said hey.”
“I will. And, um, tell John B. that we’re all glad you and him are okay after the accident.”
Marie studied her, realizing that she and John had become an official couple. Even though she still hadn’t talked to him. “Thanks. I’ll do that.”
Trish smiled at her again before turning back to her brother.
Marie could hear the other woman’s voice, low and faint, as she began to talk. Reassuring Andy that she was okay.
Right before Marie got in her rental car, she looked up at the sky. “Thanks,” she whispered. “Thanks for reminding me that it’s okay to still need you.”
She knew then what she needed to do. It was time to stop thinking only about herself, her doubts, and her pain. With that in mind, she drove the short distance to the Byler farm—it was time to pay a call of her own.
TWENTY–FOUR
“We ended up finding an old hunting cabin in the woods. It didn’t have much, but it did have an old fireplace.”
Marie had always loved the long drive that led to the Bylers’ large, imposing house. John had told her once that it was an old thing and full of nooks, crannies, and a dozen aches and pains. She’d laughed at his description until he’d described the number of things that were a part of life in their home—leaky pipes, drafty windows, and creaking floors.
Though she’d been sympathetic, there were times like now when she thought no house could be prettier. The Byler house sported a black roof, white paint, and dozens of trees currently dressed up for fall. Their red, golden, and bright orange leaves rustled a greeting when she got out of the car.
Just as she reached into the backseat to grab her purse, John’s little brother Ezra called out to her.
“Hiya, Marie.”
“Hey there, Ezra. How are you?” She smiled at him, loving how with his dark brown hair and hazel eyes, he looked like a mini John.
Walking toward her, all arms and legs, she realized that he wasn’t all that small anymore. Nope, he was now even two or three inches taller than she was! “Boy, you got tall all of a sudden.”
He smirked. “Mei daed says that I might even be taller than Anton one day.”
“That would be impressive,” she teased. Anton was the burliest of the brothers. She’d always thought he looked like he could have been one of those MMA fighters if he was a different type of person. “Is John here?”
“Uh-huh.” Looking her over, his private smirk turned into a full-blown grin. “You’ve got grass stains on your white pants.”
“Do I?” She looked down at her knees. Sure enough, there were twin marks spotting the wool slacks. “Ugh.” The green smudges were dark enough she didn’t know if even the dry cleaners was going to be able to get them clean.
“Why are ya here? You going courtin’?”
“Ezra, leave her alone,” Molly called out from the front door.
“Mol, don’t act like Mamm.”
She lifted her chin. “I’m not, though Mamm did say to come on in.”
“See ya, Marie,” Ezra said before turning back to the house.
When Marie started walking toward the front door, too, Molly smiled much more warmly. “Hi, Marie. John’s on his way downstairs.”
“Thanks for letting me know.” The Bylers’ front porch was so long and wide, there were two sets of chairs and tables on it. “I’ll just wait out here.”
“Sounds gut.” She smiled before rolling back through the open front door and into the dim foyer.
As she sat down on one of the comfy white wicker chairs that had a candy-red cushion, she sighed in relief. Coming here had been the right decision. She had always loved John’s family, and seeing his sister and brother reminded her of their long friendship. She remembered the day Mrs. Byler gave birth to Ezra, and John had been so excited. Just two days later, all of the Eight had gotten to come over and see the baby. Marie had talked about that tiny baby for days.
She heard John saying something to one of his siblings before walking out to the porch. He had on his usual dark blue pants and a short-sleeved light blue shirt. To her surprise, his feet were bare and his hair was damp.
“Did you just get out of the shower?” The moment the words were out, she realized that those were the first words she had said to him after their argument. Boy, when was she ever going to actually say the words she actually wanted to when they were together?
Luckily, John just grinned. “Gut afternoon to you, too, Marie. And jah, I did. I helped with the horses and the barn after church today.”
She stood up. “Let me try this again. Hi. Is now an okay time for me to stop by?”
He walked to her side. “Hi back. And anytime you want to visit is fine. You never have to wonder.”
Those were swoon-worthy words. “So . . . do you forgive me?”
His expression was sweet and patient. “There ain’t nothing to forgive, Marie. I think we both said some things we wished we hadn’t.” Linking his fingers with hers, he added, “Plus, I’ve done some thinking, and I kind of think it’s just fine that we have different opinions.”
The Patient One Page 16