Welcome to Temptation

by Jennifer Crusie

  Sophie leaned back until she touched his shoulder. “I should warn you, she gave me a mother test which I tried to flunk. I passed.”

  “You pass all my tests, too,” Phin said, and she turned her head just as he dropped a kiss in the curve of her neck.

  “Hey,” she said, alarmed. “Dillie.”

  “She just went around the house,” Phin said in her ear. “Look at me.”

  She turned to him and he kissed her thoroughly. “I’ll be back tonight,” he said against her mouth. “Bed check. And you’d better be here.”

  “I thought your mother told you not to come here anymore.”

  “She’s being unreasonable,” Phin said. “You’re probably the only Dempsey I’ll ever get to play with in my whole life. Ever.”

  “Lucky for you,” Sophie said, and he kissed her again, and she put her hand on his arm and felt safe and fine. “Is this what we’re going to do tonight?” she said, her eyes still closed.

  “No, we’re going to wax my car,” Phin said.

  Sophie opened her eyes. “What?”

  “Then I’m going to fuck you on the hood,” Phin said, and took her mouth again.

  “That was a really rude thing to say,” she said a few moments later, trying to get her breath back.

  “Yeah, but it turns you on every time,” Phin said. “I go with what works.”

  “We have to stop necking on this dock,” she said a minute later. “Stephen Garvey’s probably taking Polaroids right now.”

  “See if you can get copies.” Phin leaned toward her again, and then Lassie barked and they both jerked around to see Dillie coining down the hill, elaborately unconcerned with them. “Remind me to stay away from you,” Phin said as he stood up.

  “What did I do?” Sophie pulled her feet out of the water and drew them up under her.

  “It’s not what you do, it’s what you are.” Phin raised his voice and called, “Say good-bye to the dog, Dill. We have to get going.”

  “I could go out in front again,” Dillie bargained, as she came up to the dock. “You could kiss Sophie some more.”

  “I had something in my eye,” Sophie said. “We weren’t—”

  “I’m finished kissing Sophie,” Phin said. “Say goodbye.”

  “Good-bye,” Dillie said, the orphan child once more. “I had such a nice time, but it was too, too short.”

  “That’s the good times for you,” Sophie said. “They never last.”

  Leo came back Monday afternoon, splashing through the front yard and talking about arks and Labor Day traffic, and Rachel was so glad to see him she couldn’t stand it. Her life was so awful, so out of control, but now Leo was back. She could tell him about the Mace and he’d tell her what to do. She’d wait until he was done at the farm and then—

  He showed them his cut of Cherished.

  “I changed the title, of course,” he said as the video began to play. A cartoon lion in a smoking jacket appeared and the words Leo Films scrolled across him, and Rachel thought, This is so cool, he’s got to make me his assistant if I don’t go to jail for giving Zone a heart attack. But then the credits started.

  Gone was Amy’s carefully filmed approach to Temptation, panning up to the water tower. Instead two curvaceous-to-the-point-of-chunky legs straddled the words Leo Kingsley Presents which dissolved to flaming letters that read, Hot Fleshy Thighs.

  “What?” Clea shrieked, “ ‘Thighs’!”

  But the title change was the least of it. Leo had kept most of the film, but he’d added some of the raunchiest sex scenes Rachel had ever seen, not that she’d seen many.

  “I’m going to be ill,” Amy said, when they’d hit the second one. “Look at that grain. It’s not even the same film quality,” and Rachel and Sophie looked at her in disbelief.

  “Film quality?” Sophie said, her voice going up an octave. “The fact that this is pornography doesn’t bother you? My dog shouldn’t be watching this.”

  “Leo, this is disgusting,” Clea said. “Did you do this all the way through?”

  “Of course,” Leo said, not the least insulted. “This is what I sell. This is what makes money. This—”

  Oh, Leo, Rachel thought, torn between anger and disillusionment. This is so wrong.

  “I don’t care about the money—” Sophie began.

  “You ruined my film—” Amy began.

  “Leo, you pervert—” Clea began.

  He wasn’t a pervert, Rachel knew, growing calmer even as the bodies flailed on the screen. He was a darling. He just wasn’t thinking, that was all. Sometimes you had to point things out to Leo. The big sweet dummy.

  “Now, look,” Leo was saying. “You knew I wasn’t Disney. And I told you it needed—”

  Rachel turned off the television and popped the cassette out of the player. She took a red magic marker and wrote Smut, Smut, Smut, on it in big letters and handed it to Leo.

  “Rachel, honey, be—” Leo said.

  “This is not going to happen, Leo,” Rachel said firmly. “We had a deal. You were going to try vanilla porn. You were going to be classy this time.”

  “Rachel, baby,” Leo said, very avuncular. “You don’t understand—”

  Rachel pointed her finger at him. “Don’t you ‘baby’ me. A deal’s a deal. You don’t put garbage like that in a quality film.” She put her hands on her hips and stared down into his eyes, making him pay attention. “That’s just wrong, Leo. You should be ashamed.”

  The silence stretched out until Amy said, “Yeah.”

  Leo sighed. “Look, you girls did a fine job, but you have to be practical. I couldn’t sell what you made to high-school kids, it was that tame.”

  “So we’ll make it hotter,” Rachel said, making him meet her eyes again. “This is not a problem. But we make it hotter, not you. Jeez, Leo, what did you think? That we’d say, ‘Oh, good, Leo put in some cheesy sex scenes for us?’ ”

  “I thought you’d be reasonable,” Leo said.

  “You thought wrong,” Rachel said. “Give us a week.”

  “Rachel—”

  “A week. That’s not too much to ask, Leo. Not after what you just did.” Rachel stared him down, implacable, and Leo sighed again and said, “Okay, a week. But I need skin and I need sex. And if you don’t give it to me, I’ll cut it in myself.”

  “Deal,” Rachel said, and then stepped back as she realized what she’d just done. “Uh, if that’s okay with Amy and—”

  “It’s okay with me,” Amy said.

  “You can make all our deals,” Sophie said.

  “Especially with Leo,” Clea said, looking at her appraisingly.

  “Come on,” Rachel said to Leo, feeling magnanimous now that she’d gotten her way. “I’ll take you out to the motel and you can drop off your stuff. And then we’ll go get something to eat, and you can tell me what this movie needs.”

  “I am not going to talk dirty to you in a restaurant,” Leo said.

  Rachel shrugged. “Then we’ll go to Dairy Queen and eat in the car.”

  “Fabulous,” Leo said, but he followed her out when she opened the screen door and gestured, just like she knew he would. He was a good man, really. He just needed to be managed.

  Rachel got in the driver’s seat. “Dairy Queen or the diner?” she asked, and Leo sighed and said, “You choose.”

  “Dairy Queen,” Rachel said, putting the car in gear. “You like their ice cream. And tonight we’ll go watch the Labor Day fireworks, and you’ll feel better. I’ll take care of everything.”

  Beside her, Leo groaned, and Rachel thought, Not a good time to tell him about the Mace.

  She’d just tell him later, then.

  When they were gone, Sophie said. “I’d give her a raise but we’re not paying her anything.”

  “Forget Rachel,” Clea said. “She’s bought us another week, but it’s up to us to come through. We need sex scenes. And we’re going to have to film them fast.”

  Sophie shook her head. “We sig
ned that porn permit—”

  “Sophie,” Amy said. “For God’s sake, this is my video. When we signed the permit, we weren’t making porn. Exactly. And were not filming on public property, so we’re innocent.”

  “Amy, we’re never innocent,” Sophie said. “I said this place was trouble. Remember? That first day, when we were filming on public property?”

  Amy looked back, unblinking. “You sorry we came?”

  Sophie stopped and thought of Phin. “No.” Then she thought of Clea and Zane’s sightless eyes and the lying and making porn. “Yes.” Then she thought of Phin again.

  “No. Okay, we’ll do this fast, but this is the end. No more.” She met Amy’s eyes. “I’m not lying to him again, not even for you.”

  “So much for family,” Amy said, and stalked off into the kitchen.

  At nine that night, Sophie stood with Amy on the bank of the river while Clea and Rob took their places on the dock. There wasn’t much light from the quarter moon, so Amy had set up reflectors and side lights, and the dock looked like a carnival to Sophie. Trashy.

  “This is too bright,” Sophie said. “Way too bright, somebody’s going to see.”

  “Stop whining,” Amy told her. “Everybody’s at the Labor Day picnic. We’re going to shoot this very fast and get out of here before the fireworks are over. Right, guys?”

  “Well, I like to take a little time,” Rob said, and Clea said, “Very funny. Not tonight.”

  She stripped off her sundress and stood naked on the dock, looking even more beautiful in the moonlight than she did in the sun, and Rob said, “Whatever you say, Clea.” He pulled off his shirt and threw it on the grass next to her sundress, and then unbuttoned his jeans, and Sophie turned away.

  “I don’t want to see this,” she said, as she heard his jeans hit the ground, and Amy said, “Oh. Yes, you do.”

  Sophie turned around and blinked. It wasn’t just youth that drew Clea to Rob.

  Amy looked at her. “We’re going to need a bigger dock,” she said, and Sophie turned away again, trying not to laugh. Fireworks exploded beyond the trees, and she stopped to watch them sparkle gold and blue and red in the sky. Beautiful. Then she caught a glint from the trees across the river upstream. At first she thought a spark had caught a tree, but it wasn’t that kind of glint, and she froze as she saw it again.

  “Somebody’s watching us,” she told Amy quietly, and Amy clutched her camera tighter. “There, see that? Somebody’s got binoculars or a camera or something. That’s glass reflecting back light. Turn those lights off now.”

  “No, I can’t.” Panic made Amy’s voice tight. “We can’t stop, we have to get this. We’re running out of time.” She grabbed Sophie. “You have to go see who it is, maybe it’s nobody, maybe nobody’s there.”

  “Are you nuts?” Sophie pulled away. “Turn off those damn lights.”

  “Please,” Amy said. “Just go see. And then come right back if somebody’s watching and we’ll stop, I swear, but it’s probably nobody, and I don’t want to stop if it’s nobody.”

  “Amy, somebody just got murdered here. I’m not going—”

  “It was Zane,” Amy said. “Everybody wanted him dead—nobody wants to hurt you—just go look. Oh, please, Sophie.” Sophie hesitated and Amy said, “Please. This is my chance, please help me.”

  Sophie closed her eyes. “If I get killed, I’m haunting you.”

  “Oh, thank you,” Amy said. “Thank you, thank you, you always come through for me, Sophie.”

  And I’m getting a little tired of that, Sophie thought, as she headed for the main road and the other side of the river. The Old Bridge was just too creepy this late at night.

  When she turned off the road and began to walk down the river path, she realized the whole place was creepy at night, thick with trees with the swollen river rushing below. Just find out what that glint is and go, she told herself. Once she knew for sure what was going on—

  She stopped when she was behind the Garvey’s house because somebody was moving on the path above the dock. She stepped into the shelter of the trees and saw Stephen, binoculars ready, staring across the river.

  They were screwed.

  She bent to look through the trees to see the dock so brightly lit they could have counted Clea’s freckles from the courthouse.

  They were completely screwed.

  Then her Dempsey instincts kicked in and she realized she wasn’t alone, but before she could turn, somebody shoved her hard, and Sophie tripped and fell into the trees, smacking her head hard on a branch and toppling down the steep slope half-conscious, grabbing instinctively at branches that ripped at her hands until she plunged headfirst into the river.

  She hit the water hard and went under, and it was cold, ridiculously cold, and that helped bring her back from the head blow. The pull of the current was strong as she fought her way to the air, shuddering and gasping as the river took her. She was past the farm dock by the time she surfaced. She saw Junie’s dock off to her left, and kicked off her shoes and began to swim for it, cutting diagonally across the current, but the water was so cold and her head hurt and she missed the dock, slipping under the water twice as she almost lost consciousness.

  I’m not going to die, she thought, and kept fighting her way across the current, and then the current was weaker, and there was another dock and she managed to get close enough to shore that the river took her against the pilings. She clung to the edge of the dock, feeling herself slip away, and then she thought, No, and pulled herself up, painfully, to collapse on the splintery boards. You can’t stay here, she told herself, and put her hand to her head where it hurt the most. It was wet, she was wet all over, but when she brought her hand down, it had blood on it. I’ll get help, she thought. I’ll get help in a minute.

  And then there was nothing.

  ❖ ❖ ❖

  Phin was opening the bookstore the next morning when Wes came up the steps. “I got the lab report and I’m heading out to the farm,” Wes told him, biting off the words. “You coming?”

  “I have this store I’m running,” Phin frowned at him. “What are you so mad about?”

  “The lab report.” Wes stopped on the top step. “And the Dempseys. They’re going to tell me the truth this time or I’m going to fry them, and that includes your girlfriend. I don’t care how banged-up she is.”

  He started down the steps, and Phin said, “What?”

  “Sophie,” Wes said. “She didn’t call you? Somebody shoved her in the river last night. She’s got the same wound on her forehead that Zane had. Ed’s pretty sure they both hit their heads on the same tree.”

  Phin flipped the sign Back at 4:30 over, slammed the door to the bookstore shut, and went down the steps past Wes. “Drive,” he said.

  When they got to the farm, Phin was out of the car and at the door faster than he’d ever moved in his life. He didn’t bother to knock.

  “Oh, hi,” Sophie said from the living-room couch. She had a livid scraped bruise on her forehead and blue circles under her eyes, and she looked like hell. Davy and Amy stood over her, scowling at each other, but when they heard Phin come in, their faces smoothed out to bland.

  “What the hell did you think you were doing?” Phin said to Sophie, not caring that everybody was listening. “It’s dangerous out there.”

  “What?” Sophie frowned at him and then winced and put her hand to the bruise, and Phin wanted somebody dead. “Whoever killed Zane doesn’t want me, unless you think you’ve got a serial killer on your hands, which doesn’t seem—”

  “If you ever do that again,” Phin snapped, “you won’t need a serial killer. I’ll do you myself just to get the suspense over with.”

  “It’s just a scrape,” Sophie said. “It’s no big deal.”

  “The hell it isn’t,” Phin said. “And you were in the river. Tell me Ed pumped you full of penicillin.”

  “Yes,” Sophie said. “I’m fine.”

  She sat there with her ch
in in the air, and he said, “No, you’re not. You’re too dumb to live,” and went out and sat down on the porch steps and put his head in his hands and thought, I almost lost her.

  Davy came out and sat down beside him.

  Phin braced himself. “If you’re coming out here to kick my ass because I yelled at your sister, go right ahead.”

  “No, I think you pretty much summarized the situation for her,” Davy said. “She’s just used to taking care of everything. Sophie’s not one for waiting around if the family’s in trouble.”