Welcome to Temptation

by Jennifer Crusie

  “You can’t prove any of that,” Stephen said. “I wouldn’t shove a woman anywhere.” He looked genuinely insulted that Phin had suggested it, and Phin frowned at him. Then Stephen’s face grew smug again. “And I certainly wouldn’t show pornography to the good people of—”

  “Here we go again,” Wes said. “Stephen, we need the other tapes back. I don’t think the women will prosecute if you give them their tapes back, but—”

  “Nobody’s going to prosecute me for anything,” Stephen said. “You have no proof. And the last time I looked, you needed proof to arrest somebody, so—”

  “Stephen,” Phin said quietly. “Sophie came over one night when you were watching them film on the dock, and somebody pushed her into the river. Right here, at the end of your property.” Stephen shut up and Phin watched him closely. “The river was high and she almost drowned. If she wasn’t such a fighter, she’d have died.”

  “I don’t know anything about that,” Stephen said cautiously. “But I do know that the people you consorted with produced a pornographic movie in clear violation of the Temptation film ordinance—”

  Phin tuned him out, and Wes said, “Okay, Stephen, you practice your speech, and we’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

  “I want him arrested,” Stephen said, and Wes said, “No, you don’t, because if I arrest him, he’ll get to explain why he went for you, and then people might get to thinking you’d played porn to their children just to get elected.”

  Stephen scowled. “That’s ridiculous.”

  “No,” Wes said. “That’s the truth, and it’s the lousiest thing I know about you. How many people had their kids in front of that TV set to watch Temptation in the movies? You set it all up. Anything to get elected. You and your family values.”

  “I didn’t do it,” Stephen said stubbornly, but his eyes slid away, and Phin gave up.

  When they were back in car, Wes said, “If you ever attack another citizen in front of me, I will break your fucking arm and then move on to your head.”

  “Fair enough,” Phin said. “I can’t think of anybody else I want to attack, anyway, so it shouldn’t be a problem.”

  “Because you pretty much threw away whatever leverage I had,” Wes went on. “He can file assault charges, you know, and they’ll stick. So I’m not exactly in a position to lean on him for this tape thing.”

  “I’m sorry,” Phin said. “But we did get something out of that.”

  “Yeah,” Wes said. “He didn’t push Sophie.”

  “So who did?” Phin thought about Sophie and the movie, and shoved it aside as too painful to think about. He went back to everything Sophie had told them about the river. Somebody had shoved her really hard, she’d said. “Who else would do that?”

  “You got me,” Wes said, and started the car. “I’ll put it on my list of things to do along with, ‘Find out who shot Zane and tried to electrocute Sophie,’ and ‘Try to nail Stephen for pandering porn.’ Jesus, I’m lousy at this job.”

  “No, you’re not,” Phin said. “You’re just up against it right now.”

  Wes pulled back out onto the road and headed for the station. “I hate to point this out, but so are you.”

  “Yeah, I think that pretty well wraps it up for me as mayor.” Phin settled back, rubbed his shoulder, and thought about how good it had felt to grab Stephen. “Thanks for waiting so long to pull me off.”

  “My pleasure. You know, this wasn’t Sophie’s fault, that was Leo’s cut. She must be upset about all this. She worked pretty hard making that movie.”

  Phin heard his own dialogue coming at him from the screen again. “You have no idea how hard she worked.”

  “Am I missing something here?”

  “Yes.” Phin said.

  “Am I going to continue missing it?”

  “Yes.”

  Wes sighed. “Fine, be that way.” He pulled up in front of the bookstore. “Get out. I got work to do.”

  “What work? It’s after eleven. Go home.”

  “I’m not the only one here missing stuff,” Wes said. “You go mope. I have things to do.”

  “Wait a minute,” Phin said, but Wes pointed to the door, so he got out and let him drive away.

  Fine. Whatever. He wasn’t moping, he’d just had his entire future shot out from under him, and there was nobody to vent his annoyance on. Wes was gone, his mother was somewhere committing hari-kari, the Garveys were no doubt celebrating the coming mayoral victory, and Ed was probably trying to get a copy of Hot Fleshy Thighs for his porn collection even as Phin stood there.

  And then there was Sophie.

  “Fuck it,” he said, and walked around the back of the bookstore to his car. Wes was right. He had things to do. Like demand an explanation. Like ask her what the hell she thought she was doing. Like make her feel guilty for all the hell she was leaving behind her.

  If she thought she was leaving town without a reckoning, she didn’t know him at all.

  Rachel found Leo in his motel room, packing.

  “Thank God,” he said. “My ride to the airport and out of here. That guy in the restaurant was only the beginning. Did you hear those people in the lobby? I don’t think I’ve ever seen that many people angry over soft porn before. Imagine what they’d do if they knew the kind of stuff I do.”

  “They do,” Rachel said. “You missed that part. My dad switched tapes and the town watched Hot Fleshy Thighs.”

  “Oh,” Leo said. “Well. Even so, it was just a movie. They overreacted.”

  “Forget them,” Rachel said. “They’re history. Think about the future.”

  Leo eyed her cautiously. “You seem fairly calm about this.”

  Rachel leaned against the wall and shrugged. “It’ll be okay. Everybody’s mad right now, which is good for them because not much happens in Temptation so this’ll give them some exercise. They’re not bad people and they won’t go after Sophie or anybody, and even if somebody really lost it and tried, Phin and Wes would take care of it.”

  “I doubt Phin’s going to take care of it,” Leo said. “From the way those people downstairs are talking, he just lost the next election.”

  Rachel shrugged. “He’ll get over it. He loves Sophie, and he’ll keep her no matter what. Phin’s determined like that. Love’ll do that to a person.” She met Leo’s eyes and he flinched.

  “Right.” Leo shut his suitcase. “Well, I’m ready. You want I should call a taxi so you don’t have to—”

  “No,” she said, and pulled her dress over her head.

  Leo took a step back. “Rachel, stop it.”

  “I know you mink you’re leaving me.” Rachel lifted her chin so it wouldn’t quiver because that would ruin what she was pretty sure was the magnificent sight of her in Victoria’s Secret red lace. “But you’re not. I’m the best thing that ever happened to you, Leo. And I mean professionally, too. I stopped and talked to Sophie on my way here, and we worked it all out. You can teach me to run that new vanilla-porn section.” She took a deep breath. “I think you should call it Rachel Films and use a cat for the logo that’s like the lion on the Leo stuff. And I can do a lot of the promotion that you can’t do, because I’m a woman. Sophie thinks it’s a great idea.”

  “Rachel—”

  “And I’m smart, Leo,” Rachel said. “And I learn fast. Sophie says so. I’m going to do a lot for you, you’ll see.”

  Leo looked at the ceiling. “Could we talk about this with you dressed?”

  “No,” Rachel said. “Because I’m going to sleep with you, too. I know you don’t want to do this, but even just that one kiss with you was better than having sex with anybody else I’ve had sex with, and I’m coming after the rest of it now. And then we’re going to go to L.A. and live happily ever after.” She narrowed her eyes at him. “If you think I’m settling for anything less, you don’t know me.”

  Leo closed his eyes.

  “And you know me, Leo.” She walked toward him while he kept his eyes closed. “
Although, not nearly as well as you’re going to.”

  Sophie was sitting on the porch swing waiting when Phin pulled up at the farm. Whatever he did, however much he yelled, she’d just take it. She deserved it.

  When he came up on the porch and sat down beside her, he stopped the swing, and she curled her feet under her and sat there, suspended in air, not sure of where she was with him, or even where she wanted to be.

  “Did Dillie see it?” she asked him, and he said, “No. Jamie Barclay’s mother has a very fast hand with the remote.”

  “That was not our movie. That was Leo’s movie. He took ours and cut the porn stuff into it.”

  “But you made a porn flick, didn’t you?” Phin said, staring out across the yard.

  Sophie thought about explaining vanilla porn and decided it was hopeless. “Yes. Not like that one, ours wasn’t hard-core, and it was good, but yes.”

  “And you used the stuff I said in bed,” Phin said.

  “Yes,” Sophie said.

  “I wondered why you were so easy,” he said. “Research.”

  “No,” she said. “I was so easy because you were so good.”

  “Don’t even try it,” he said.

  “You forget,” she said. “We didn’t start out like we are now. It was a game, remember? Julie Ann and the bear on the dock? You thought I was a one-night stand.” She swallowed. “And I thought you were a safe chance to break some rules. I didn’t think about writing that first scene until after you’d gone that night. And I didn’t think you’d ever know. I didn’t know you’d ever be important.”

  He closed his eyes. “You kept on doing it. When you knew we weren’t a one-night stand.”

  “I stopped a long time ago,” Sophie said. “Before Stephen caught us in the kitchen, even. Before it was more than you just exercising with me.”

  “Sophie, it was never just exercise.”

  “Well, you never told me that.” Sophie felt her temper spurt even as she said it. “You make jokes and you stay cool and you do not get involved, and I’m supposed to feel guilty because I don’t recognize your deep emotional involvement?”

  “You’re not supposed to betray the people you sleep with,” Phin said.

  “By the time I realized there might be something to betray, it was too late,” Sophie said. “I owed Amy, too. And we didn’t think anybody would ever know. Nobody does know, except for you and Amy. And now the tapes are all gone. There’s nothing left of all that work.” She lifted her chin. “So you’re off the hook.”

  “Then why does it still feel like it’s buried in my back?” Phin said.

  He hadn’t turned to look at her once, and she lost it and punched him hard on the shoulder so he jerked around. “What do you want from me?” she said. “An apology? I’m sorry, I really am. You want me to destroy the tapes? They’re gone. You want me to feel guilty, to suffer? I do, I am. But you’re part of this, too, you know. You never said, ‘Sophie, you’re important to me, Sophie, this is important to me.’ You never even said, ‘I love you.’ You remember what you said when I said it on Saturday? You said, ‘Thank you.’ ”

  Phin turned away from her, and she said, “ ‘Thank you.’ Yeah, that was a clear indication that you cared desperately about the sanctity of our relationship. You arrogant bastard.”

  “Wait a minute,” Phin said. “Why are you yelling at me?”

  Sophie stood up, and Phin grabbed the chain as the swing bounced. She said, “Because you betrayed me ten times more than I betrayed you. You knew you cared and you didn’t tell me, and now you come out here all wounded, saying it was more than just playing around and I should have known that?”

  “I’m just saying,” Phin said quietly, “that it’s pretty much a basic rule that you don’t make public what a lover says to you in private.”

  “What ‘private’?” Sophie waved her arm at the yard. “We weren’t private. You went down on me on the dock. You threw a lamp against the wall so you wouldn’t have to be alone with me. You did me on a car. It was all a game. And now you change the rules and you want me to feel guilty? Well, I’m not going to, so there. I’ve changed my mind. This is your fault.”

  “My fault.” Phin stood up. “My fault. That’s rich.”

  “Oh, that’s good.” Sophie nodded. “Now you can feel indignant and go back into town and lord it over the council meeting tomorrow and patronize everybody and think about how lucky you are to not be involved with somebody as irrational as me because you are clearly the cool one in control and—”

  “Sophie, shut up.” Phin leaned against the porch post, looking more tired than she’d ever seen him. “I’m so far out of control, I don’t think there’s anything left of my life.”

  “Well, then, do something about it instead of standing there all smug,” Sophie said. “You’re playing so many balls ahead, you don’t even know there’s a game in front of you.”

  “You know, I knew you were the devil’s candy,” Phin said, as if he weren’t listening to her at all. “As soon as I set eyes on you, I knew you’d bring me down. You and that mouth.”

  Sophie stuck out her chin. “And I knew you were a town boy, out to get my virtue and leave me crying.” She waited for him to say something snarky about her virtue, but all he did was shake his head.

  “We should have gone with our instincts,” he said, and started down the porch steps.

  Sophie stared after him, nonplussed. “So what did you come out here for?” she called after him. “Vindication? Validation? Revenge? What?”

  “I don’t know,” he said, as he jerked open his car door. “But I sure as hell didn’t get it.”

  “Well, that’s the first time you came out here and didn’t get what you wanted,” Sophie yelled. “You’re long overdue to go home empty-handed, as far as I’m concerned.”

  He stood inside the open car door for a minute and then he said, “Do you know who pushed you into the river?”

  “What?” Sophie looked at him incredulously. “What are you talking about? We’re in the middle of a fight here.” When he stood there, waiting, she said, “No, I’ve told you a million times, I don’t know.”

  “Because it wasn’t Stephen,” Phin said. “Which means somebody else is gunning for you.”

  “It could be anybody,” Sophie said. “The whole damn town hates me.”

  Phin shook his head. “No, they don’t. Most of them don’t even know you, and the ones that do, like you. Nobody’d want to kill you.”

  “After tonight they all do,” Sophie said.

  “Oh, I think they’re pretty much concentrating on me, thanks to Stephen.” Phin looked grim in the moonlight. “And you’re leaving anyway. I’m the one facing the music. And it ain’t Dusty Springfield, babe. Have a nice life.” He got in the car and slammed the door and started the engine, drowning out anything else she might say, like, Come back here and fight this out, you bastard.

  When he was gone, Amy came out on the porch and handed her a Dove Bar. Sophie took it and followed her to the swing, which Lassie crawled out from under, now that the shouting had stopped.

  “That’s not over, you know,” Amy said.

  “It might be,” Sophie said, trying not to sniff. “He’s such an uptight jerk, it just might be.”

  “Naa,” Amy said. “He’s just trying to figure out what hit him. And what he’s going to do with the pieces. He’ll be back. He’s like us that way. Gets what he wants.”

  They rocked in silence for a couple of minutes, and then Sophie said, “Are you okay with that? With Phin and me?”

  “Yeah.” Amy nodded. “Davy was right. And Wes likes him so he must be okay.”

  “What did Wes say about the video?”

  “Not much.” Amy bit into her ice cream. “He didn’t care about the permit thing at all. He wants to know who switched the tapes and played porn to Temptation, and he wants to nail somebody for shooting Zane, preferably Clea or Davy. I don’t know why he’s so fixated on them, but he seems sure t
hey know something.”

  “They’re both gone, you know,” Sophie said. “She left before he did. I don’t think she even told Rob good-bye. So it’s just us.”

  Amy nodded. “I’ll stick with you through the council meeting tomorrow. And then I’m going to L.A. Unless we get arrested for violating the permit.”

  Sophie stopped the swing. “What?”

  “Wes said it wouldn’t be a big deal and we could come back to the farm. He said he and Phin would work it out because the whole permit thing was probably unconstitutional. But he also said we had to stay until they got it fixed. By Thursday, he said.”