Wanted Dead or In Love: A Small Town Romance (The Cortell Brothers Book 3)

by Giulia Lagomarsino

  Carly

  Levi had been pumped up on medication the entire time he was here. He had more injuries than I could count, and I knew his recovery was going to take a while. I felt awful. I had dragged him into this. I had called him, asked him for help knowing that this wasn’t the life he wanted any part of. He was only helping me out of some sort of sense of loyalty. One that I didn’t deserve. I had faked my own death and walked away from him without a single word. I had moved on with another man and had a baby, all the while, he was still pining for me. What kind of person was I that I could walk away from him so easily and move on with life without a second thought about how it affected him?

  And then I called and asked him for help yet again, and he had offered himself up, knowing that he could be killed. He wasn’t part of the mafia. He was an outsider, and even after marrying into the family, he wouldn’t have been trusted with family matters. Now he was beaten to a pulp and it was all my fault, because I had listened to Josh and his brother. We could have found another way to get all the Scavuzzo family together. It didn’t have to involve him calling my uncle.

  I took his bruised hand in mine and brought it to my lips, kissing it as a tear slipped down my cheek.

  “Don’t cry, Carla,” he grumbled, his eyes still swollen shut from the beating he took.

  “How did you know I was crying?” I asked, swiping the tears from my face.

  “I always know when you’re sad. I grew up with you, remember?”

  I laughed slightly and pressed his hand against my cheek. “I’m so sorry, Levi. This is all my fault.”

  “Shh,” he said, his face scrunching up slightly. “None of this is your fault. I chose to do this. Don’t you know I would do anything for you?”

  “But you shouldn’t,” I said quietly. “Levi, I’m with someone else. I have a baby. Things are different for me now.”

  “Wasn’t that the point of running away? To have a new life? I would have run with you, you know. I loved you. Hell, I still do.”

  “I couldn’t ask you to do that for me. Besides, it all worked out for the best. I have Josh now, and I love him very much.”

  “As much as you loved me?”

  I sucked in a breath, not sure what to say. I didn’t want to hurt him, not when I had just put him in the hospital. “Levi, what we had…we were just kids, and I was in a bad place.”

  “I know you want to believe that because it makes it easier for you. But we’re the same, and we always have been. Tell me that you honestly aren’t thinking about where your life goes now.”

  “Of course I am.”

  “And you think you can just settle down with Josh? Do you even know what kind of life you would have?”

  “Well, I-“

  “Are you just going to stay at home with your baby while he goes off to work? That’s never been who you are.”

  “I didn’t say I was going to do that.”

  “The truth is,” he winced, sitting up slightly. I could see the pain through the bruises on his face. I rushed to help him sit up and gave him a scolding look when he was finally settled. “The truth is, you don’t know who you are anymore. You never got the chance to figure that out.”

  “I know who I am,” I said firmly. “I’ve been on my own for a long time.”

  “I’m just asking you to think about it. What do you want to do with the rest of your life? I can give you so much more than he ever could.”

  “It’s not about money and things, Levi. That’s never been something I’ve cared about.”

  “No, but money can open so many doors. I can do that for you.”

  I shook my head and sighed. “Levi, I don’t want to hurt you-“

  “Then don’t,” he said forcefully. “I know you still feel something for me. Those feelings we had didn’t just go away.”

  “Even if they didn’t, I really am in love with Josh. Those feelings aren’t going away either.”

  “Then give me a chance,” he asked, linking his fingers in mine. “Just give me a chance, Carla. That’s all I’m asking for.”

  His hand slid up my arm until he was wrapping it around the back of my neck and pulled me in closer. I knew I should stop him. I didn’t want to kiss him, but I also felt like I needed to do this to prove to him that what we had was long gone. He had to see or he wouldn’t give up. So, I leaned in and let his lips brush against mine. But what I hadn’t expected was the rush of feelings that came back all at once. Suddenly, I remembered what it was like when we were kids, how close we were. His tongue slid inside mouth, begging me for more, and I couldn’t deny him. The feel of his lips against mine was so familiar and comforting. But the longer the kiss went on, the more I realized that all those feelings were the feelings of a teenage girl. We weren’t the same people. We were older and our lives had gone in different directions.

  I slowly pulled back, feeling drunk on old feelings and sweet kisses. By the look on his face, he thought I was coming back to him. I took a step back and shook my head. “Levi…”

  “Just give me a chance. That’s all I’m asking for. If you don’t think it’ll work, I’ll walk away and leave you alone forever, but give me the chance to prove to you how great this could be. You owe me that much.”

  Did I owe him? Maybe I did. Maybe after everything that had happened, I owed him this opportunity. But I needed to talk to Josh. I had a life with him, no matter how up in the air it all was. We had a little family to think about, not to mention that I was in love with him.

  But my feelings were all jumbled up. Seeing Levi again was making me question everything. What if he was right? What if when things settled down, Josh and I were no longer compatible? No, I didn’t believe that was true. It would be an adjustment, but deep down, I knew that not just anyone could make me feel the way Josh did. He made me feel safe and protected when I didn’t need anyone to do that for me. He made me feel loved in a way that no one else ever had. He made me feel special.

  “I have to go.”

  “You’re leaving?” he asked incredulously.

  I smiled to ease the blow. “You need your rest and I have a feeling that Josh is waiting for me, and then there’s my brother that I have to deal with. And then there’s my daughter…”

  He nodded. “Will I see you again?”

  “Of course you will,” I laughed uncomfortably. He had almost given his life for me. I couldn’t just walk out of his life like I had before. “Just let me get some things settled.”

  I was unsettled, nervous, by the time I got to the waiting room. I had no clue how I was going to handle all this. I felt so guilty for what happened to Levi, but at the same time, I had basically pulled Josh into all my crap too, and how had that helped anyone? But they were both part of my life. One was my past and one was my future. Only, now they were colliding, making it difficult for me to see a way forward without hurting one or both of them.

  “Where’s Josh?” I asked his brother Robert when I didn’t see him.

  His jaw clenched hard and he shifted slightly, like he was trying to go into professional mode or something. “Derek took him back home to see Alessa.”

  A sharp pang hit me in the chest. He hadn’t even waited for me. I felt my cheeks warm in embarrassment. I was never like this, never this girl that let a man make her feel weak and needy, but Josh was a different story. He had been there for me for so long, I couldn’t help but feel crushed by his absence.

  “Oh,” I said, trying to put a smile on my face.

  “I stayed behind with Hunter. We’ll take you to see your brother.”

  I nodded, not sure what else to say or do. “Okay, thank you,” I finally said, grabbing my jacket off the seat. I had this dizzying feeling that something was wrong, but I couldn’t put my finger on it. After everything that had happened, why did it feel like I was about to lose big time? I started to follow Hunter and Robert to the doors when I suddenly felt really light headed and stumbled. Robert was there in a flash, catching me by the arm and holdi
ng me upright. The world righted itself and after a second, the dizzying sensation passed.

  “Are you alright?” Robert asked, his face full of concern.

  I smiled tightly and nodded. “Of course, I just…” Just what? Felt like my whole world was falling apart? Felt a deep pain because his brother had walked out and left me behind? I took a deep breath and resigned myself to the fact that he wasn’t here and I had to deal with that. “I just haven’t eaten in a long time.”

  “We’ll grab some food on the way,” he said, holding onto my elbow as we walked out the door. I was grateful for his steadying presence as we walked to the car.

  Josh

  After checking on Alessa, I shut the door to her room and leaned back against the door. I was exhausted, both mentally and physically. I couldn’t get that image of Carly kissing Levi out of my head. It was driving me crazy.

  “Are you okay?”

  I opened my eyes to see Kat standing in front of me. “Yeah.” I rubbed the back of my neck and sighed.

  “Maybe you should go downstairs, hang out with your brothers. I’ll keep an eye on Alessa.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Of course. That’s what family’s for.”

  “But you don’t even know me.”

  She nodded in agreement. “That’s true, but Eric is my fiancé. I would do anything for him.”

  I swallowed hard, thinking about all I knew about Kat and what she and my brother had been through. I hadn’t really had a chance to talk to her about her loss.

  “Eric told me about your baby. I’m really sorry that you had to go through that.”

  “It is what it is.” She was quiet and then laughed slightly. “You know, if it hadn’t been for your brothers, I probably would have drowned in my own misery. Andrew actually helped me the most. I didn’t know how much I needed all of them until I finally got them back.”

  “I’m sorry I wasn’t around.”

  It was like they had all formed this new family in my absence. Would I be able to just pick up and join in? Everything seemed so foreign to me, and what I thought was going to be my future was now up for grabs.

  “You’re here now. Go on,” she jerked her head. “I’m sure they’re dying to hear all about what happened.”

  I smiled and pushed off the door, heading down the hallway. When I got downstairs and walked into the kitchen, everyone stopped talking and just stared at me. The only brother missing was Robert, and that was because he was staying with Carly in case the feds somehow found out about her connection to what happened.

  “Well, don’t all stop talking on my account.”

  “We stopped talking because we were talking about you,” Joe pointed out. “See, as long as you don’t hear us, we can keep up the illusion that we weren’t gossiping.”

  “Until you tell him that’s what we were doing, dumbass,” Derek said, slapping him upside the head.

  “Ow, there’s no need to get violent.”

  “You haven’t seen violent yet,” Derek said, picking up a knife. He started sharpening it as he glared at Joe, not once actually looking at the knife.

  “Yeah, we get it,” Joe said, holding up his hands, wiggling his fingers. “You’re all super scary and we should watch what we say around you.”

  “Well, not you,” Eric said. “You belong to a biker gang now. I think we need to be looking out for you.”

  Will tsked him. “You’re forgetting, he’s only a prospect, not a patched in member yet. I bet they don’t even let him carry a gun.”

  “When did you get so many tats?” I asked Joe, taking a seat.

  “I started getting them after you disappeared actually.”

  “Really? Let me see your first.”

  He turned red and shook his head. “No.”

  “Why not?”

  “Look, I just don’t want to, okay?”

  “Come on,” I jeered, pushing out of my seat. He pushed out of his and quickly backed away.

  “I think we’d all like to see this,” Andrew said, standing from his own seat.

  “Hey, you’re supposed to be on my side,” Joe sneered.

  “Actually, I’m on whoever’s side that will come out the winner.”

  “As true brotherhood was meant to be,” Will said wistfully. “Except in your MC, of course.”

  “Just show him the damn tat,” Eric chastised. “I showed you mine.”

  I spun around, my gaze dropping in shock. “You have a tattoo?”

  “Kat made me do it.”

  “She made him do a lot of things,” Andrew snorted.

  “What kind of things?”

  “Hey, I thought we were talking about Joe’s tattoo?” Eric said, quickly standing up and moving toward Joe. I would figure out what he was hiding later.

  “Just tackle him to the ground and strip his clothes,” Derek said, staring at his knife as he sharpened the blade. “It can’t be that hard to figure out which one popped his cherry.”

  Will, Eric, Andrew, and I walked closer, circling around him as he tried to find a way out.

  “Now, come on. Let’s think rationally here.”

  “I am. I’ve missed out on a lot. I think it’s the least I deserve after the last seven years.”

  Joe pointed his finger at me. “No one told you to leave.”

  I took the opportunity to snatch his hand, twisting his arm up behind his back. “Search him.”

  Andrew pulled up his shirt and started going over the tats on his body while Eric looked at the ones on his arms.

  “None of these look that old,” Will said, examining them.

  “We have a winner!” Andrew exclaimed. “And you’re not gonna believe this shit.”

  I looked over Joe’s shoulder. “What is it?”

  Derek jumped up from his spot and walked over, leaning in close to look at Joe’s chest. He looked up at Joe and then at me. He pulled his lips between his teeth and walked away without another word.

  “Alright, now I have to know what it is. Will, you want to take over for me here?”

  Will came around and held Joe’s arm up behind his back as I walked around. Eric held the shirt up and I looked closely at his chest. My eyes shot up to Joe’s red face and then back to the tat that was dated with the day I disappeared right over his heart. I took a step back and stared at it for a moment. I felt the moisture build in my eyes and I tried to hold it in, but when that first bout of laughter burst free, I couldn’t stop it. I held my hands against my eyes, laughing so hard that I could barely breathe.

  “I’m touched,” I laughed. “Truly, and you even put it over your heart.”

  “Hey, don’t be too hard on him. He was building a memorial to you, on his body,” Will said, doing his best to keep a straight face.

  “Yeah, but what does he say about it now?” Derek asked. “You know, since you’re not dead or anything.”

  “If anyone asks, like his new gang family, he can say it was the day he murdered someone,” Andrew shrugged.

  “They’re not a gang family,” Joe said, yanking his arm away from Will. “They’re all good guys, upstanding citizens even.”

  “Why’d they let you in?” Eric asked. “Was it because you speak like a millennial?”

  “You know I stopped that for you.”

  “You know I stopped that for you,” he mocked.

  “Asshole,” Joe muttered, shoving past Eric, bumping his shoulder into him. “At least I did something to remember our brother that went missing. What did all of you do?”

  “Well, not to look like the better brother,” Eric stated, “but I had an investigator looking into his disappearance for the last seven years. Not that it’s a contest or anything,” he added quickly. “But I won.”

  “Hey, I was busy,” Derek said. “It’s not that I didn’t miss you, but what the hell was I supposed to do? Stop living life? And here you are, alive and in one piece. You even have a woman to keep you company.”

  “About that,” Joe said, pulli
ng out his phone. “So, I figured the best way to inform the town of your arrival was to just put it out there.”

  “What do you mean?” I asked warily.

  “Well, you know, if we let it leak that you’re back, we’ll be bombarded with questions on a daily basis. So, I figured, let’s just put it out there, like a news bulletin.”

  I felt the color drain from my face. “What did you do?”

  “Relax, nothing too terrible. Remember, I’ve been in charge of family fun on Facebook since Eric and Kat got together.”

  “You put it on Facebook?” I practically shouted.

  “Well, the town page. It’s not like just anyone can see it. Don’t be so salty. I was totally cool about it. I just said that you were on the run from the mafia. You fell in love with a hot chick that saved your life. You knocked her up, and then you came home to make things official.”

  “You told everyone that?”

  “Dude, you need to relax. Look, I even have some questions coming in. Danielle Evers wants to know if you and the baby mama are for sure getting married. What should I answer?”

  He looked at me expectantly and my gaze flicked to Derek, who held up his hands. “Don’t look at me. I don’t even live here.”

  “So, what do you want me to say?” Joe prodded.

  I sighed and plopped down in my seat. “Well, that depends. Since I just saw her kissing her ex-fiance, I’m not sure where we stand right now.”

  “Whoa,” Eric sat down, leaning forward intently. “What the hell are you talking about?”

  I shook my head. I still wasn’t sure. I couldn’t make heads or tails of our situation. “I don’t know. I went to see her in Levi’s room and he was kissing her.”

  “Is there any chance you misunderstood the kiss?” Will asked.

  “Like, did she accidentally fall forward and smash her lips against his face?” I asked sarcastically.

  “You never know,” Will said, holding up his hands to ward off my anger. “She could have been kissing him because she was overjoyed that he wasn’t dead.”

  “Or she might have been suffering from amnesia,” Andrew supplied. “Had she recently hit her head?”