“How can you say that?” I asked. “I want my daughter and I want you. I want the life we planned, right here in this town.”
“That’s what I wanted. Can you honestly tell me that you’ve thought this out? That you want to stay here with me? Or do you just have nowhere else to run?”
I wanted to argue with him, but he sort of had a point. I hadn’t really thought about anything, not believing that this would ever truly be over. I didn’t know what I would do from here or where we would stay. The only thing I knew for sure was that I wanted Josh with me.
“Josh, we never planned further than making it to this point, and even that was a long shot. Of course, I don’t have a plan. I didn’t think I needed one. I thought we were going to figure this out together. That’s what I want.”
He nodded slightly. “And I want you all to myself. I don’t want anyone from your past in our future. Maybe that’s selfish of me, but Levi will always want you, and that’s not something I can handle. So, you figure out what you really want. And when you figure that out, you make a choice.”
“You’re asking me to decide between the two of you.”
“That’s exactly what I’m asking.”
“That’s not fair. I don’t feel that way about Levi.”
“But he feels that way about you, and as long as he’s in your life, we can’t really live ours. Do you think I would ever trust him with you?”
“You don’t have to trust him. You only have to trust me.”
He smiled slightly. “You know, I’ve never trusted someone more in my life. I’m asking you to do the same with me. I don’t trust Levi. Something about him rubs me the wrong way, and I’m asking you to walk away from him for good. I want you to trust my judgement, that I’m not just being some selfish asshole here. You trusted me when we were on the run. Will you trust me now that there’s nothing to run from?”
Josh
When she didn’t immediately answer, I knew that I couldn’t just push for an answer. As much as I didn’t want to admit it, those seven years had changed us, and now that we were here, everything was in a tailspin.
I stood from my chair and held out my hand to her. “We’re not going to solve anything tonight. Let’s get to bed.”
Her eyes shot up in surprise. “You want to share a bed with me?”
“Well, considering that my brothers live here, we’re a little short on space. Besides, just because we’re sharing a bed doesn’t mean that anything’s going to happen tonight.”
“Josh,” she said, placing her hand on my arm. “I do love you. You know that, right?”
“I know you loved me when we were on the run. And I know we had great plans if we ever made it out alive. But those plans aren’t the same as reality. I think we both need some time to think about what we want now that the pressure is off.”
I could see fear in her eyes for nthe first time in seven years. I only hoped that the fear I was seeing was caused by the idea of losing me, and not fear of what she would do next. She placed her hand in mine and we headed for the stairs. I was just about to take a step when I spotted Robert and Anna hiding on the stairs.
“Hear anything useful?”
Anna’s eyes grew wide and she shook her head quickly. “We weren’t listening. We just got there. Like two seconds ago, we walked down the stairs.”
“She’s lying. We heard everything.”
Anna elbowed him in the chest. “We did not. We would never listen in on your private conversation.”
“Yes, we would. In fact, she’s part of a group that constantly ogles Eric when he’s working. She’s just one step away from writing a column in the town paper about the family.”
“You’re so not getting laid tonight.”
Robert snorted. “Like you would deny your husband.”
“Husband?” I asked. “When did this happen?”
“Christmas Eve.”
“But it’s not legal,” Anna rushed on. “It was all fake.”
“You…had a fake wedding,” I said slowly.
“You ran away from your family for seven years. What’s your point?” Robert asked.
I shook my head. Obviously, I was going to get filled in on every last detail of my family. I was missing a shit ton of information.
Anna at least had the good grace to look embarrassed by their eavesdropping. “Um…so, I’m just gonna go pee.”
She slinked down the stairs and raced around the corner, disappearing from sight.
“You could have just come out,” I pointed out.
“I could have, but then how would I know what’s really going on?”
“You could have asked,” I retorted.
“I could have, but this was more fun. Anyway, have a good night. We’re heading home.”
“I want to hear tomorrow about this fake wedding,” I called after him. He gave me a two finger salute and waited for Anna to come out of the bathroom. After I got Carly settled, I would come back down and lock up. I made my way upstairs and took the room next to the baby’s. It was only a double bed, but it would be fine. We’d slept in worse.
“Are you sure this isn’t going to be a problem?” Carly asked.
“Sleeping together?” I shrugged. “Why would it be a problem?”
I was striving for nonchalance, but I had an idea that I wasn’t coming off as quite so cavalier as I was hoping for. I didn’t want to tell her that that one kiss had shredded me. I didn’t want her to have that power over me, not when she might decide to walk away.
She sighed heavily and sat down on the bed. “Is this the way it’s going to be now? You pretending like everything is completely fine, but ignoring me at the same time?”
“I’m not ignoring you. I’ve said my peace and now there’s nothing more for me to say until you make up your mind.”
“I just don’t understand why you need me to choose between you, the man I love, and Levi, an old friend.”
“And if I had an old friend that I used to fuck, would you be fine with me running off to see her?”
She huffed, crossing her arms over her chest. “We’re talking about something that happened over ten years ago.”
“We’re not talking about it at all,” I sighed, tugging my shirt over my head. “I’ve had a long day and I want to sleep. And tomorrow, I’ve got to start looking for a job.”
I shucked my pants and pulled on a pair of pajama pants from my bag. I could get shit settled in the morning. I headed back downstairs and locked up all the doors and checked all the windows, but no matter how tired I was, I knew I wasn’t going to be able to sleep. Everything was too fresh in my mind. I couldn’t help this sinking feeling that the mafia was still after us. Had we really taken them all down? I doubted it. There were probably still a shit ton of them out there, but they were what Carly called soldiers. They were the guys that did all the shit work for the organization. Without a leader, it was unlikely they would take the initiative to come after us. But seven years of running had made it pretty damn difficult to just put all that to the side and pretend that everything was normal.
“Can’t sleep?”
I turned from my spot at the living room window where I was staring out into the darkness and saw Derek sitting in the corner of the room, drinking a beer.
“I can’t stop thinking that someone’s still out there.”
He nodded. “And standing in front of the window, which is a sniper’s dream by the way, is helpful?”
I quickly stepped back, hearing him chuckled. “I figured with all your years on the run, you would have known that one.”
I ran a hand along the back of my neck and sighed. “It was different then. I had Carly at my back the whole time. Now I’m back here and I’m trying to adjust. And if you thought it was dangerous, why the hell did you let me stand in front of the window?”
He grinned at me. “When Chance’s team was here, they set up a perimeter with cameras and sensors. The whole shebang.”
“So, I wa
sn’t in danger.”
“Not likely,” he laughed. “Besides, Hunter is outside on watch.”
“How would you know if someone attacked him in the middle of the night?”
His brows furrowed. “Well, I guess I would find his dead body in the morning.”
I stared at him incredulously. “Are you serious?”
“No, shithead. If that’s the way we operated, we’d all be dead too.”
“Then how do you know he’s okay?”
“Because Chance’s team never left. They’re positioned around the property. You didn’t really think that the day you took down the Chicago mafia that I would just send my guys home, did you?”
I sighed and plunked down in my seat. “Yeah, I guess I did.”
“Thanks for the faith, brother.”
“I’m not used to someone being on my side. I don’t know how to rely on others for help.”
“And what about Carly? Can you still rely on her?”
“I’d like to say yes.” I ran a hand over my tired face, feeling the day’s growth of hair on my face. “The truth is, I’m not sure what she’s thinking.”
“What’s really going on with this guy, Levi?”
“He’s her ex-fiancé.”
“I know that. Why is he still in the picture?”
“What would you have me do? I’ve asked her to choose. Other than that, there’s not much I can do.”
“You could always get rid of him.”
I smirked, laughing slightly at his suggestion. “Is that the way this works now? I already have too much blood on my hands.”
“So what’s a little more? Do you really think this guy is innocent?”
My instincts were telling me that Levi’s intentions were not altruistic. “I think he still wants Carly, but for what, I have no idea. I don’t know if this is just him wanting something he used to have or if there’s something else going on.”
“My guess would be the second.”
“Yeah, but for what?” I shook my head. “Honestly, I think it’s my jealousy getting in the way. He’s never been part of her life. He’s a businessman, I think taking over his father’s business. I can’t see a single angle where he’s actually a threat to her.”
“I had Reed Security run a background check on him.”
My eyebrows shot up in surprise. “Really. Did they find anything?”
He shook his head. “It’s obvious that he’s kept in contact with the family over the years, but not often enough to make me think that he was working with them. At least, there’s no evidence of it.”
“You think he was working with someone?”
He shrugged. “I guess we’ll never know. Not unless you find a way to get that out of him.”
I frowned. “But what would a businessman be doing tangled up with the mafia if his fiancé is dead?”
“I can’t answer that question. Only Carly can.”
I blew out a breath, running my hand over my face. “I’m tired.”
“Get some sleep. We’ve got watch.”
“No, I mean…I’m tired of all this shit. The running and the constant danger. I was used to it when I was out there. It was my life and I knew I didn’t have a choice in the matter. But now that I’m home…” I blew out a breath and rested my head back against the chair, staring up at the ceiling. “It feels like I’ll never be done with this shit.”
“Why do you think I am the way I am?”
“What do you mean?” I asked, rolling my head to look at him.
“Do you think it’s different coming back from a deployment and just picking up life over here? Over there, I had a gun on me everywhere I went. I was always scanning for a threat. I knew that if my post was attacked, there was every chance I could die in my sleep. Then I came home and there was no adjusting. I couldn’t just put down my weapon. I couldn’t pretend that I hadn’t seen death all around me. You have to choose the life you want. I couldn’t go back to being normal. I found Sebastian and I bought into Reed Security. It’s my home now. The only place I feel safe and in control. So, you have to decide, what do you need so that you feel safe again.”
I nodded, but I had no clue what that was. Derek stood and walked over to me, placing his hand on my shoulder.
“You’ll figure it out. Just give it some time. I can stick around for a while. I don’t know how long Cap will let the guys stay out here, but we’ll stick around for the time being and make sure there are no threats.”
“Thanks, man.”
He slapped me on the shoulder and walked out of the room. I turned in my chair and called out to him. “Hey!” He turned to face me, the pale moonlight making him look more deadly than I’d ever seen. “Why do I always see you sharpening a knife?”
He smirked. “It’s my weapon of choice.”
“Why?”
He walked back into the room, standing right in front of me. “Would you rather take out your enemy with a bullet to the head,” he asked pointing his finger right in the center of my forehead. “Or feel that life draining from the very person trying to kill you?” He shrugged. “It depends on the urgency of the situation, but a knife is quieter, and I can feel that kill with my bare hands. It’s a cathartic release.”
I shook my head slightly. “You’re kind of insane.”
“Well, we can’t all stay in this small town and deal with the drama of the town Facebook page.”
Carly
I never heard Josh come to bed last night. I had stayed up half the night just sitting in the nursery with Alessa. I was terrified to leave her. Knowing that my brother was going to help Derek, Hunter, and Knight go after the remaining members of the Scavuzzo crime family helped to ease my fears, but would it ever truly be over? I was so used to always looking out for myself and Josh that I couldn’t let down my guard, even knowing that Derek and Hunter were still here. I finally dragged myself to bed around three-thirty in the morning, but I had expected Josh to join me at some point during the night.
Pulling on some clothes, I went to check on Alessa. I had no idea what time it was, but she had to be hungry. When I stepped into the hallway, I heard Josh talking to her. I looked around the corner into the bedroom to see him holding her like he used to, before he really thought about having to give her up. This was exactly what I had always wanted, to be in some house with my husband and our children, watching him dote on our kids. I knew that none of that dream would change just because we weren’t running anymore. Josh was the man I wanted, and I had to find a way to make him see that.
I walked into the room, putting a big smile on my face. “How is she this morning?”
“You wouldn’t know that we had just dragged her across the country and put her through all that shit.”
“Now we can settle down and just have a normal life.”
“Can we?” he asked, not looking at me.
“Of course, we can. I told you, that’s what I’ve always wanted.”
He handed Alessa off to me gently and finally looked up at me. “Then let Levi go.”
He walked out of the room before I could respond and only a minute later, I heard the roar of a truck coming to life. I went to the window just in time to see the truck pulling out of the driveway. Sighing, I headed downstairs to get some coffee, holding Alessa upright against my body. She had grown so much in just three months. It was hard to believe that I almost left her behind. I would have missed out on all of this.
“Hey,” Kat smiled. “How’s the little princess this morning?”
“Great. You would never know that we snuck in here in the middle of the night just a few nights ago.” I smiled down at her, getting a gummy smile in return. “Thank you, for taking care of her for us, and for the promise you made to us.”
“I actually really enjoyed it.”
I wanted to find the right words to say to her about her baby, but I wasn’t good with words. I didn’t want to come across as insensitive. “I…I’m really sorry about Angel.”
; “Thank you, but there’s nothing to be sorry for. I’ve accepted it and so has Eric.”
I glanced down at Alessa and stared at her beautiful face. “How do you accept something like that?”
“How do you just leave your child behind?”
My gaze shot to hers, ready to do battle, but there was no judgement there.
“Parents have to deal with hard decisions, and sometimes things are out of our control. It took me a long time to realize that our child wasn’t meant to be. These things happen in life. Just like I’m sure you realized that your child was safest without you.”
“But how did you deal with that?”
She laughed lightly. “I didn’t for a long time. I stared at the wall. I barely functioned. Honestly, there’s not a lot I remember from just after she died. I remember Eric, though. I remember him begging me to try.” She shook her head and busied herself with grabbing another coffee. “In the end, I moved out and got my own place. It wasn’t the same. It wasn’t my home, and I missed everything about being here. But I was so certain that Eric and I had only been brought together by the baby. I think I was just scared of being hurt again.”
I took a seat at the table and accepted the coffee cup she brought over. “Thanks. Josh and I had made all these plans for coming back here if we ever got out of the mess I pulled him into. But now he’s getting all weird. He thinks that an old friend of mine is a threat or something.”
“Is he?”
“He’s my ex-fiancé,” I said sheepishly. “But he’s helped us so much. He was the only reason we knew anything that was going on with my family, which wasn’t much. But he helped us out, and now Josh wants me to just cut him out. The thing is…I feel guilty.”
“For what?”
“For dragging Levi back into my life and then he ended up in the hospital for his trouble. I mean, I wanted to leave him out of it, but the guys thought he could help us pull together everyone at the house, and make it easier to eliminate as many of them as possible. He’s in the hospital because I did what they wanted me to. So, he’s in the hospital, and then he kissed me and I didn’t pull away, and Josh saw.”
Wanted Dead or In Love: A Small Town Romance (The Cortell Brothers Book 3) Page 23