Zombie Playlist: A Rock Zombie Romance

by Kirsty Dallas

  I dozed on and off over the next hour or two and was abruptly woken by loud banging coming from the front of the Jeep. As my blurry eyes fluttered open it was to find Lawson beating his fists against the steering wheel. Glancing out the window, I realized the car had stopped. Sitting up I leaned through the seats to the front cabin, the words stuck in my throat when I saw the smoke rising from under the front hood.

  “F-fuck, are we on fire?” I finally stammered.

  Briskly shaking his head, Lawson opened his door and slammed it shut, stomping around to the front of the vehicle. Noah remained asleep, and I more carefully opened my door and clicked it shut. My ankle was a flame of agony as I limped around the vehicle. Lawson didn’t think it was broken, but it was well and truly swollen, a sign that I’d done some damage regardless. With the hood raised, I found Lawson staring at the motor which was making an awful hissing sound, green liquid sprayed everywhere.

  “That’s the radiator, right?”

  A nod.

  “You have got to be shitting me,” I murmured, with a shake of my head. “What the fuck did I ever do to you?” I screamed into the sky. “You motherfucking hateful bastard.”

  Spinning in a hopeless circle, I took in our surroundings. Nothing behind us, nothing in front of us, and on either side was nothing but trees, dirt and rock.

  “Where are we?”

  Lawson slammed the hood shut, and I checked on Noah through the window. She was still sleeping, and it was beginning to freak me the fuck out. A harsh scraping noise from the front of the Jeep had me wandering up there where I found Lawson using a rock to scratch into the paint.

  Kerriville, 20 miles

  “Twenty miles out of Kerriville?” I clarified.

  Lawson nodded.

  “We’re almost at Elmendorf, it’s like an hour and a half away.”

  Taking his rifle and notepad from the car, Lawson scribbled something down and handed it to me.

  I’ll go get us another car.

  I was torn. On one hand I didn’t want him to leave on his own, on the other hand, I didn’t want to drag Noah back into another situation like we’d had the day before. His safety was important to me, but so was Noah’s. She needed me, she didn’t have the skills to protect herself. Even if we could wake Noah and get her on the road again, the pain from my ankle wouldn’t allow me to get far, and I’d never be able to run on it. Lawson’s hand settled on the back of my neck and he pulled me to his chest, wrapping his arms tight around me.

  “This fucking sucks,” I whispered.

  I could feel him nod where his cheek rested on my forehead.

  “Hurry back.”

  Swallowing down my tears, I pressed my lips to his and savored the fiercely possessive kiss he gifted me with. It was over too fast, and I watched Lawson walk away. It fucking hurt and again I found myself fighting back useless tears. Needing to keep busy, I repacked all our gear, so we could quickly swap cars when Lawson returned. I refilled the water bottles and threw a damp towel across the front of the Jeep to dry. Retrieving the gun from the glove compartment I checked the cartridge before shoving it into that familiar spot at my lower back. All the while I kept checking on Noah who slept peacefully. The cat followed me around, tackling my ankles and tripping over its own feet. Oddly enough it was a source of comfort having the little shit with me. As the sun grew higher in the sky I began to worry about the heat in the car. Even with the windows and doors open, it was hotter then the devil’s dick inside the cabin of the Jeep. Limping around to Noah’s side, I reached over and nudged her awake. It took a while, but eventually her head rose, and she looked at me through dull eyes. My heart collapsed in on itself as I took in her face. Her hair was sticking to her forehead with perspiration, but it was the pale purple webbing under her skin that broke me.

  “No, no, no,” I whimpered. “Fuck Boo, I need you to get out of the car.”

  Listlessly she moved with me to a shady spot under a tree. Tugging her to the ground, she immediately rolled to her back, staring at the spindly branches and spiky leaves above us. Wetting a rag, I began to wash down her heated skin, trying to gift her comfort and healing with each wipe. My eyes never left her, hoping with everything I had that the pale webbing under her skin would start to disappear.

  “I don’t feel so good,” she eventually confessed.

  “Felix was constantly wiping at his snotty nose, you probably just caught something off that little booger,” I whispered, wishing my words were true but knowing in my heart they weren’t.

  “Do you think Felix and Raleigh are okay?”

  “They’re perfectly fine. The soldiers will protect them.”

  “Where’s Justin?”

  “Right here,” I pointed out. He was sitting by Noah’s head, swatting a paw at the rag every now and again but looking as tired as I felt. Noah giggled and fell into a restless sleep. I continued to watch over her, the webbing under her skin getting darker. I began to pray, the words clumsy and foreign off my lips but each one packed with sincere desperation. When Noah awoke she seemed distant, and her words were jumbled and in cohesive, and I prayed harder.

  “Are you praying, Shy?” She slurred with a rough and hoarse voice.

  My throat was thick with tears which I tried desperately to swallow down.

  “Yeah, Boo. I’m praying.”

  She laughed, but it wasn’t her usual laughter full of innocence and joy. It was a little manic and gruff.

  “I’ve never heard you pray before.”

  “I never really have, I don’t know how. I figured I’d just talk to Him…you know?” I said, my voice breaking.

  “He listens. What are you saying?”

  “I just told him he can’t fucking have you,” I growled.

  “Shy.”

  Taking deep breaths, I tried to push down the pain in my chest, but it was no use. It was spreading through my entire body, starting at my heart and leeching outwards. A single tear spilled over my lashes, and Noah watched it with a puzzled frown.

  “Am I dying? Am I going to turn into a zombie?” I shook my head frantically. “I don’t want to be a zombie.” She pleaded.

  “You’re not going to be a fucking zombie,” I growled.

  “Do you promise?” My nod was as sure as it was a lie. “Why are you crying then?”

  “I just got something in my eye.”

  A small, tired smile graced her dry lips. “Tears are prayers too, they travel to God when we can’t speak.” Another tear slipped over my lashes, and my lower lip quivered. “Do you want me to pray with you?”

  Unable to speak, I nodded.

  Taking a deep breath, Noah began to pray.

  “Our father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us. Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, forever and ever, amen.”

  It was the Lord’s Prayer. I knew of it, but it was the first time I’d listened to the words and tried to attach meaning to them as they were spoken. Noah’s smile grew marginally bigger.

  “Your turn. Sing me some Bieber.”

  Fucking Bieber. A burst of laughter escaped my lips, and I looked to the sky for inspiration. Wiping away my tears I nodded, trying to think of a Bieber song. The only one I knew was Love Yourself, the only song I’d ever found half-way descent, not that I told anybody else that. My voice wavered, and the constant tears blocked Noah’s beautiful smile, but I didn’t stop. I kept singing and a few times got the words wrong, but Noah didn’t care. She just continued to smile. Then she took a long rasping inhale, and there was nothing. Her eyes stared vacantly ahead, her lips parted.

  “No.” My plead was little more than a crushed whisper full of anguish.

  Collapsing over her prone body, I rested my cheek on her chest and cr
ied. As I lay there sobbing, blood seeped into the whites of Noah’s beautiful eyes, filling like a lake until one blood red tear spilled over her lashes. There was no life left in her, even the beating of her perfect heart was silenced. I lay there for what felt like hours praying for her to come back to me. Then I heard it. Under my ear where her heart was silent, a thump, slow and sluggish.

  “Oh, Boo,” was my tormented whisper as I lifted my head from her chest.

  Placing two fingers at her neck I felt for a pulse. It was there, getting faster by the second. Wiping my runny nose, I sat up on my haunches and watched Noah’s prone form. Justin seemed to sense something was off, teetering on his little legs and backing away into the long grass. I wanted this, her to return to me, but deep down inside I knew it was wrong. I’d promised her she wouldn’t be a zombie. The sound in the world around me felt as if it had been sucked from the air, my own breaths a loud echo in an otherwise silent moment. Then my prayers were answered, Noah came to life, but the being that lived was not my Noah. The scream that burst from her mouth was animalistic and crazed, those blood-red eyes snagging on me like a starved beast. She burst forward in a display of extraordinary speed and power. Stumbling to my ass, I crab crawled backwards as Noah reached for me. One fist clenched onto the front of my shirt but lost its grip as I fell back. Rolling away, I scurried from the ground and ran toward the Jeep, my ankle all flaming agony. I ignored the sharp, sickening pain and jumped as I approached the hood of the Jeep, landing heavy on the metal, no doubt leaving an impressive dent. Noah was right behind me, fumbling to climb up the hot, slippery surface. Pulling the gun from out the back of my shorts, I pointed it at her, my hand shaking. Fuck how I wanted her to live so bad, but I’d promised her.

  Noah’s eyes met mine, but they were unfamiliar and manic. Blood dripped from her nose, and her fingernails scratched into the paint of the car as she groped madly for purchase.

  “Boo,” I whispered with a sob. “I love you baby girl, I love you so fucking much.” Then I pulled the trigger. As the bullet ripped through her head and threw her from the car, my world shattered. Roaring with pain and sorrow, I fell to my knees on the roof top. I ignored the burn that licked at my flesh from the searing heat in the metal. I ignored everything except the tearing of my heart which throbbed with unimaginable pain. “I’m sorry,” I screamed. “I’m so sorry.”

  Memories of my little sister as a baby tumbled through my mind, her gummy smile and loving eyes. Her first steps, the laughter as she rocked to the music I played for her, the first time she said my name, the unconditional love, it was all gone now. She was the reason I lived, and now she was gone. There was nothing left to live for, just emptiness inside. But that wasn’t true, was it? My hand curled around my stomach as I lay sobbing. She didn’t even know, I hadn’t shared the possibility with her and now I couldn’t. Because she was gone. Each time I reminded myself it hurt a little more, and I cried a little harder. Noah was gone, and she’d taken my fucking heart with her. Eventually the howling from my lips became rough until it finally disappeared. My tears continued to fall, silent mourning for the one person I loved more fiercely than life itself. As I lay there, a light breeze blew over me, as if caressing the heat from my skin. A cloud drifted across the hot sun, sheltering me. It was then I realized how hot I was, burning hot. I had no idea how long I’d lay crumpled on the roof of the Jeep, but my limbs felt weak, my skin searing, and my mouth as dry at the desert. Lifting myself up with tired arms, I glanced around, my eyes latching on to the spot under the tree where I’d lain with Noah. Trying my best not to look at her lifeless body, I slid down the windshield and off the hood, stumbling across the dirt until I collapsed onto the prickly grass. My head throbbed and eyes felt swollen, fuck I was tired. I needed to escape, to be away from the hurt inside me. I recognized the soft mewling of Justin somewhere close by but was too tired to search for him. Instead, I closed my eyes and let the godforsaken world around me disappear.

  Track Thirty-One: Linkin Park, In The End

  CHAPTER 31

  I woke to the sound of a continuous muted hum. Wind blew into my face, my hair whipping my cheeks. Blinking against the bright sun and violent storm of wind, I was dragged from slumber to find myself leaning against the door of a car. The vehicle was moving at speed, the scenery passing by in a blur. Lifting my throbbing head, I glanced across the bench seat. This wasn’t a modern car, but rather one of those old station wagons not unlike the car from National Lampoon’s Vacation. The theme song, Holiday Road filled my mind and I smiled. My lips felt tight and cracked, my face swollen. Raising a finger, I felt the skin on one cheek and winced when my fingers touched stinging flesh. What the fuck had happened to me?

  Then my gaze met Lawson’s. Such tortured sorrow and concern lay in those pale blue depths. For me? Then it hit me, like a building crashing down on my body, pushing me towards the ground and burying me beneath its weight. Noah had become infected. I’d shot her. My own sister.

  “Noah.” The noise from my throat was gruff, the tear slipping down my cheek cooling my heated skin. “Where is she?”

  Lifting my head, I began frantically searching for her and found something, or someone, wrapped in a blanket on the back seat.

  “Is she in there? Did you wrap her in that dirty blanket?”

  Lawson immediately pulled the car to a stop as I struggled with my seat belt. Once free of it, I scrambled over the bench seat, landing heavily on the solid mass lying on the back seat. Blood was seeping through the fabric, just little starbursts of crimson here and there.

  “Oh fuck, she’s in there, isn’t she?”

  I couldn’t deal with it, the thought of my sister lying dead forced bile up my throat. Lunging for the door, I fell out into the dirt and threw up. Big hands caught me around the waist, holding me up and pulling my rancid hair away from my face.

  “I shot her.”

  I spat the guilt laced words out. I needed to get them out, I needed the world to hear my sin and punish me for it. Instead, I was lifted from the ground and into sturdy arms that gently lowered me back into the front passenger seat I’d woken in.

  “It hurts,” I confessed. “It hurts so fucking bad.”

  Grabbing my cheeks between his hands, Lawson looked me in the eye, conviction and understanding there. Pointing to his chest, he nodded. He understood. But did he really? Did he feel this pain? It was too much emotion to be contained inside my body, and with no way to purge it free, I let out a keening wail. Wrapped in Lawson’s arms, I continued to cry, ignoring the weakness in my limbs and nausea filling my stomach. Eventually he let me go, handing me a bottle of water. Eating and drinking was the last thing I wanted to do, but when Lawson placed a hand over my stomach, it reminded me of the life I could have sheltered inside of me. So, I drank. Then I lay listless against the car door as Lawson gently put my seatbelt back around me and started the car again. I didn’t much feel like singing, but I wanted to comfort Noah. Logically I knew she was dead, but I guess the music was as much for me as it might have been for her. Music was the one thing I could count on for cheering her up. So, in a soft voice, raw with agony, I sang The Fray’s Be Still. Weeping hiccups broke up the song, each tear falling with a little piece of my heart wrapped in its liquid embrace. Every word hurt and the thought that she would be forever still was sheer agony.

  I’d failed. I’d only had one objective, survive so Noah could survive, and I’d failed. While I continued to live, her beautiful laughter and innocent joy had been taken from me. If there were such a thing as God, in this moment I despised Him, though with equal measure hoped for His existence, because He was all Noah believed in. Now it was His job to take care of her.

  My tears continued to fall and chancing a glance at Lawson, I watched him wipe at his cheek while he tried so desperately to remain strong. God how I needed that strength right now because mine was gone. It all came crashing down on me, the past weeks, the fighting to survive … the death. It pushe
d me down to the earth, burying me under its unforgiving grip. I was lost in darkness and it was Lawson’s presence alone that kept a sliver of light burning. Reaching out my hand, I placed it palm up between us. Lawson didn’t even look, but somehow, he knew. His big fingers laced through mine and he held on. He alone kept me anchored to a world I didn’t know anymore, a world I didn’t want to know anymore.

  “Do you believe in God?” I found myself asking.

  Lawson didn’t look my way for the longest time, but eventually his gaze was dragged from the road before us and in those liquid depths I saw such raw faith it left me speechless. He gave me a firm nod. After a long silence, I sighed, the hefty weight bearing down on me left me lethargic.

  “I want to make her proud. I want to believe.” Tears soaked my cheeks. “But I can’t. I can’t believe that such a benevolent being would allow Noah to die.” Sobbing, I didn’t bother to wipe away the wetness that dripped down onto my chest. “It isn’t fair.”

  Lawson’s grip on my hand tightened, and another rogue tear slipped over his lashes and fell unchecked into his beard.

  “We were so close.”

  My head rolled so my gaze was now on the passing scenery. This was the world Noah would no longer exist in. I’d never fathomed that such a world could exist. How did I live in such a place? How did the sun continue to rise and the stars continue to sparkle in a world so dull and empty? How could I go on without her? The answer was, I had no fucking idea.

  Track Thirty-Two: Eric Clapton, Tears In Heaven

  Isiah 41:10 “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”