Faerie Kissed

by Jaliza A. Burwell

  I’d never been in Boston before, so I didn’t know where I was. But I kept walking, stewing in my thoughts, invisible to the human eye. There were a handful of fae who spotted me, their instincts telling them to stay away, and so they did. Eventually, I came to a small park, old and abandoned, unsafe for anyone to play. A bench was on the other side at the border of trees.

  It was as quiet as it was going to get in the city, so I sat there and glared at the ground. Berry explored the area, doing his thing as he claimed it as his own so that if anyone approached, he’d be aware instantly.

  I was left to my thoughts, and my mind was a place I didn’t want to be right then. It was full of ugliness and desperation.

  Chapter Fifteen

  ~Jason’s POV~

  Josie pulled a fae trick and disappeared in front of us. We stared at the spot for a long moment before someone shoved me. I slammed into the truck, wincing as my shoulder took the brunt of the impact.

  “What the fuck?” I asked.

  “No,” Foster said. “I should be asking that. What the fuck was that? How dare you go after her like that?”

  “She’s a queen. A fucking queen of the fae.” I snorted, disbelief still surging through me. “She left us to become them.”

  “That was too much,” Waylon said.

  “Why aren’t you pissed?” I asked. “Both of you should be as pissed as I am.”

  “So you take that anger out on her?” Foster said. “How is that fair? Why are you being so cruel? She’s finally here. We can finally see and touch her.”

  I snorted and raised an eyebrow. “I noticed. You’re not able to keep your hands off her. Did you already fuck her?”

  The pain registered first. It was sharp as it spread out across my jaw. It took me another moment to realize Foster had just punched me. He’d never done that before. Both our faces expressed our shock.

  Foster stepped away from me. No doubt, he’d be willing to do it again too. That hurt. The fact that he’d be willing to side with her instead of me. I wasn’t wrong though. She would leave again. She was here only to upend all our lives, and then she’d leave. I couldn’t do it all over again. I couldn’t pick up the pieces and try to make something of my life after she left. I barely survived the first time. And it was worse knowing she wasn’t in our lives not because she was dead, but because she was in a different realm, apparently living it up with a fucking pet, bossing around the other fae.

  A queen.

  “Why are you so angry?” Foster asked.

  “How are you not angry?” I challenged.

  “Things aren’t as easy as you may think.” Waylon stepped between us. “She hasn’t given us all the information. You’re assuming right now, Jason.”

  I snorted. “That’s bullshit.”

  “Have you bothered to listen to her? To really listen to her?” Waylon shook his head. “Or better yet, have you had a normal conversation with her instead of ignoring her?”

  I stared at Waylon, there was something there in his expression, hinting at more knowledge than he was sharing.

  “What do you know?”

  “For a fact? As much as you know. But I’ve been paying attention to Josie and the little bit of information she’s been willing to share. If fae are as scary as she tries to make them out to be, then ask yourself, what did they do to her? She went to Faerie. We don’t know why or how, but she went. She lived with them for a hundred years. If they are full of trickery, if she’s so sure that they are always out to get the most out of a deal or to get some poor idiot indebted to them, then what kind of experiences did she have to learn?”

  My mouth dropped as I gaped at Waylon.

  Foster stepped around Waylon to see me. They were teaming up on me, calling me out on my shit.

  “I touched her,” Foster said. “I didn’t fuck her. I only touched her. She craves it, said she hasn’t had human touch for so long. She likes the warmth. You should have seen her expression when she told me that. No human touch for a hundred years. So fuck yeah, I’m going to touch her every chance I get and I’m going to let her touch me all she wants.” He held his arms up. “And I don’t give a fuck what you think about that. If she wants more than that, I won’t say no either.”

  “But...” I blew out a breath, feeling like a complete bastard. My shoulders slumped, and I cleared my throat. “She’s going to leave again.” My response came out weak.

  “I know.” Foster’s voice was as low as mine and that made it feel all the worse. “I’m still going to spend every moment I can with her. At least this time, we will know exactly where she is. And she’s a queen, so she has to be doing well, right? At least now she’s doing well? She looked healthy. Harder. A bit meaner, maybe. But healthy. And alive.” He abruptly stopped talking and was blinking furiously, his hands clenched at his side.

  “Find her,” Waylon spoke up. “Make up with her or at least talk to her. Stop pushing her away because you’re a coward.”

  I wanted to say I wasn’t one, but he was right. The way I was acting was exactly a coward’s way. I didn’t want to be hurt again, so I lashed out at her and that wasn’t fair. From everything we knew about her, I wasn’t being fair with her.

  It only took Foster punching me to knock some sense into me.

  “Fine.”

  “Here.” Foster handed over a phone. On the screen was a map with a dot. “That’s her location. I tapped into her cell phone.”

  “She’s going to hate you for that,” I said.

  He shrugged. “If it means I know where she is, I don’t care. Besides, I doubt she even understands that tracking her is possible like this. Technology has changed a lot since she disappeared. You should see her trying to use a laptop.”

  “Something bad happened,” Waylon said, grabbing both our attention. “Something so bad that Josie had to go to Faerie and her sister needed to forget. Bad enough that Josie won’t tell us. Keep that in mind while you talk to her.”

  “Yeah.” I blew out a breath. “Yeah, you guys are right. Thanks.” I held up the phone as acknowledgment. “I’ll talk to her.” I glanced at Waylon. “You talk to her sister.”

  “Her sister?” Foster asked, reminding us that he hadn’t been brought in on our decision.

  Waylon didn’t look at him as he said, “We decided to find out what happened. What really happened the night she disappeared. Josie won’t tell us, but with her back, we think we can get Madeline to finally open up.”

  “That isn’t a good idea.”

  “If we want to understand what happened, why things are the way they are, then Madeline is our chance,” I said.

  Foster’s expression darkened. “You’re going to piss off Josie.”

  “I don’t care,” I responded. “She’s already pissed me off. She won’t tell us, and I think we deserve to find out why we got ghosted for ten years.”

  Foster scowled harder and then swore, stomping away from us. We watched as he paced.

  “Don’t worry, I already know where Madeline is. I’ll go talk to her. She’s working on her PhD now.”

  “Good. I’ll get Josie and find us a place to stay tonight.”

  It was definitely time to stop avoiding her.

  Josie was about three miles from me. I walked to her, needing the time to gather my thoughts. I had been treating Josie like complete shit. The self-hatred inside of me grew. The signs were there, I knew they were. She hinted at a dark past in some of the things she said. If we brought up her sister or anything connected to what led her to going to Faerie, she changed the subject or shut down. If everything was all good, she’d be more open to telling us. Instead, she acted like Foster, using confidentiality as a weapon to bat us away when we tried to get close. Telling us she couldn’t talk about it. That it was for our own good and safety that we didn’t know.

  Well, fuck that.

  I wanted to know. To be able to survive after all this was over, I needed to know.

  The dot on the phone ended up being i
n a small forgotten park. A squeaking rhythmically sounded as I glanced around. Near the back was a swing set ready to fall apart, rusted through, and on it was Josie. She stared down at the ground, her body stiff.

  Her dog was at her side, lying down, looking very much like he was sleeping, enjoying the warmth of the direct sunlight. I wasn’t going to let myself be fooled by his demeanor. That damn dog only knew how to growl and snarl, and he’d do it if I dared to approach her right then.

  So I leaned against a pole and stared at Josie, taking the time to really see her. Shock came over me as I realized that this was the first time I was taking her in, really taking her in. The first time I’d seen her, there was too much disbelief in me to be able to look at her correctly. The other times, I’d been too furious. Every time I did look at her, it had physically hurt to do so knowing that she wasn’t someone I could have. Fuck, she didn’t even live in our realm.

  This time, I took my time, comparing this Josie to the one I knew.

  Josie had always had tan skin. She loved living outside every chance she could get, going hiking, playing sports, lying outside on the grass. Her skin had a beautiful golden hue to it. Now? She was pale. Her skin didn’t absorb the sunlight like it did with humans. Normally, seeing someone that pale in the sun meant they needed to wear globs of sunblock. That was not the case with Josie.

  Instead, her skin captured the sunlight and held on to it, giving her a glowing effect. Not like a glow stick or anything drastic like that. Her skin looked like it was healthy, like how a woman glows after a night of really good sex or women about to get married. Healthy. Happy. Glowing. But amped up a little more so that it drew attention. It hadn’t been evident until now, and I had a feeling it was only like that because her guard had been dropped, and by the absent expression on her face, it had been done subconsciously.

  I glanced around, noting that no one was around. I didn’t know what would happen if people saw her glowing like that, or if their minds would try to write it off as something else. People tended to see what they wanted to see.

  I was guilty of that too.

  Her black hair was pulled back in a French braid, hanging over her shoulder. As I remembered the feel of her thick, soft hair, my fingers flexed. The way it framed her face in the mornings before she put it up. How on hot days, it got frizzy and she’d threaten to chop it all off. How she loved the way I gripped her hair while we made love.

  I pushed those dangerous thoughts away, instead focusing on how her features were sharper, harder. She used to have a softness to her. She enjoyed being mischievous. She was always stubborn, always working to better herself. Her self-motivation rubbed off on us and we became better for it too. But now, there was an edge to her features. Her expressions were firmer, a darkness hidden deep behind them.

  I’d say there was a mean streak in her, even if she had only been as kind as she had been when we knew her. She fell into that category of people who were marshmallows to those they loved but dangerous to those who stood against her.

  A shudder ran down my body. I didn’t want to see her in a fight. There was no doubt she’d win. She did against those two fae. I didn’t understand what she did in that field, but she was fast, sharp, and she didn’t blink an eye at killing the two of them. I hadn’t seen that version of her since, and I didn’t want to. That wasn’t my Josie.

  Her dog’s ears twitched, and he opened his eyes. I swore he looked right fucking at me, and my body screamed to run, that I was going to be eaten. Eventually, he lowered his head back onto his paw and closed his eyes again. His ears remained alert though, turned in my direction.

  Josie’s head snapped up, and she blinked as she came back to reality, warmth entering her expression. It was a complete transformation, giving me what I wanted—my Josie.

  “Are you going to stare or come over?” she asked.

  Damn, that voice. So much like Josie’s but different. It was matured, harder, scarier. The softness in it wasn’t because she was a genuinely nice person, but because it was of a predator trying to lull their prey into a false sense of security.

  I wasn’t so sure how I felt about being her prey. It scared me, but excitement also spread through my body with anticipation as my body responded to her. I wanted her. There had never been any doubt about that. My dick agreed with me as it came to half-mast with just the sound of her voice.

  Fuck. I was screwed. Utterly screwed, and I didn’t give a fuck. Not anymore.

  “As long as your dog doesn’t eat me,” I said, pushing off the pole and walking toward her. Her dog snorted, but stayed where he was. He didn’t need to chase after his prey because I was an idiot, willing to come to them instead.

  Chapter Sixteen

  “I’m surprised you’re here,” I said, watching Jason carefully as he approached.

  “Me too,” he answered, and his response felt like a stab to my heart.

  “I’m guessing the others told you to find me and play nice?” I asked. There was only one response that he could give me that wouldn’t hurt, and at this point, I didn’t expect it.

  He tried to smirk, but it fell flat. “They’d like to think so. I guess maybe part of it is because of them. But mainly? I’ve been a douchebag. I know it. So does the universe. I want to make it right.”

  I stared at him. What was the trick here? There had to be one.

  Jason saw my skepticism and chuckled. “I promise, no trick.” He motioned to the bench I had sat at for a long time until I decided to risk the rusty swing set. “Can we talk? Maybe it’ll do both of us some good.”

  “Okay.”

  Berry stayed where he was as I moved locations. Jason waited until I sat down before taking a seat. The inches between us felt a mile long. This was the first time I’d felt so distant from Jason, and that included the separation of realms. At least while I was in Faerie, it was easy to believe that he still loved and cared for me. But now, seeing his blank expression, it felt like he’d prefer I’d never come back.

  The silence between us choked me. The blaring horns around us became louder the longer neither of us spoke. I didn’t know what he wanted by coming here, so I didn’t know how to respond.

  The abrupt sound of Jason clearing his throat made me jump. “When you disappeared, it broke us.” His voice was so low that I could only hear him because my hearing was better than a human’s. “Waylon disappeared, throwing himself into his career. Foster pushed harder through the ranks of the military, not caring about the missions he took on. Me...” He snorted. “I’m not proud of how I reacted.”

  “Jason”—I tried to bring humor into it—“did you become a man whore?”

  His silence was enough of an answer. “Like I said, choices I wasn’t proud of. It took a while to unbury myself, and only Waylon and Foster helped. They needed me, and so I had to step up. By focusing on them, I was able to breathe again. We were moving forward, finding a place in a world without you.”

  I grimaced.

  “Then Foster was able to find you and the foundation we had fought to build is now crumbling. All I keep thinking about is what you’re going to leave behind when you go back to that fucking place and we’re stuck here without you once again.”

  “I wish I had an answer for you.”

  He grunted. “I wish you did. You used to have all the answers for us.”

  I chuckled, the sound bitter to even my ears. “I never had any answers, I only knew what I wanted.”

  “And at one point in your life, that was us.”

  “Yes. And if this is the moment we lay it all out there, then I need to admit, that even now, that’s all I want. You guys.”

  “Then stay.”

  “I can’t.”

  “You have always been one to find a way. Find it. Stay here.”

  I rested my chin against my chest as I leaned back against the bench. “It’s not that easy. It isn’t about me anymore, it’s about Faerie.”

  “What, she says jump and you do so?” He snort
ed. “You have never been one to listen to authority.”

  “Faerie is the fae’s version of God. Think about all the people who worship God. Think about the kind of influence, the kind of strength he has. Imagine what he can do if he took corporeal form. Now, picture God without benevolence and you get Faerie. She is not kind, she puts herself first, and she lashes out and destroys lives simply because she knows she’s powerful enough to do so. Free will isn’t in her dictionary. So yeah, I jump when she tells me to.”

  “I don’t understand. You had nothing to do with them. How did you get dragged into their world?”

  I pressed my lips together, refusing to talk about it. I had been one of those girls who searched for magic, for more to our existence than what we had. Addie had helped me find it, and I wished every day since that I hadn’t.

  “Josie, please open up to me. To all of us. We know shit happened. Why won’t you tell us?”

  “And why would I burden you with something like that?” I asked.

  “Because we promised. Your burden is our burden. Our burden is yours. We will face them together, through blood and tears. Together. Remember?”

  That was a punch to my gut as my lungs froze. I remembered that day. It was the same day I kept a secret from them and they were angry about it once it came out. Secrets had never stayed secret for long.

  I sat curled into myself on the couch, the tears unable to stop as I sobbed. My body shook with each breath I took. The last few weeks, I had been distant with them, and they were fed up. I had hoped they wouldn’t have found out, but by their dark expressions, they knew.

  Oh, God, they found out. How?

  “Why didn’t you tell us they found a mass?” Foster had asked.

  “Because the doctors are still testing it. They don’t know what it is.”

  “Yes, but why did we have to hear from your sister instead of you?” Jason came to his knees in front of me, his hand resting on my ankle. “Why did we have to find out when your sister warned us to be careful with you because you were still recovering? Why didn’t you tell us?”