The Alpha's Second Chance

by Jillian Riley

  “You look like you could have a drink after this week.”

  “Something like that,” Nick shook his head. “No, you’re right. It’s been a tough week.”

  “You’ll get it down. Just take some time off if you need it,” suggested Ben.

  “I plan on it.” Nick walked the TA out of the room and closed the door behind him. It took only moments to lock the door and head out of the building. There was a lot going on in his life, and he didn’t even focus as he walked out.

  He could have walked right into someone, but luckily everyone seemed to dodge him as he got out to the parking lot. He waited for it to be safe enough to get to his car, then forced himself to focus enough to be able to drive.

  Once in the car, Nick started to drive around, taking random turns as he traveled through the campus. He felt drawn, but he didn’t know what he was being drawn to. Whatever it was, it was something that he didn’t want to miss. Something inside him told him where to turn.

  It took a while, but he eventually found his way into the family housing. This was the place where non-traditional students who had families lived so that they could excel in school. It had been a long time since he had been on this part of campus. Not since he had toured the place as an undergrad. As he drove, Nick came across a little playground. He slowed his car and glanced at a young mother watching her child. But it wasn’t just any woman. It was Rosalinda. His heart caught in his throat. She had a son? He stared.

  The little boy had blond hair and blue eyes, so unlike Rosalinda’s dark hair and gray eyes. He looked familiar, the little boy. Nick stared hard. Then his mind began to do flips. And his brain automatically started to do the math. The kid must have been about seven or eight years old.

  His heart stopped. “It can’t be.”

  But it had to be. Why hadn’t she told him about the boy? Should he have known? Did he miss something important? Had he been so stuck with Janice that he didn’t notice something?

  He watched; his window cracked just enough to hear her call out for her son. “Dominick!”

  “Mom!” he shouted right back, a goofy grin on his face.

  “Be careful up there.”

  “I am!” The kid dipped and ducked over the playground, heading right for the slide.

  “Do you need me to catch you?”

  “No! I can do it by myself, Mom! I’m not a baby.”

  Rosalinda laughed. “You sure aren’t.”

  Nick had so many questions, but this wasn’t the place for that. Instead, he drove home, his mind reeling. He had heard her voice. She sounded so happy.

  The woman was a natural mother. Nick couldn’t see her any other way, now that he had seen it. She watched her son and she glowed with joy and happiness. His heart thumped wildly in his chest. It felt like it was threatening to fly out from his ribs and escape into the ether. Nick even put his hand to his chest to stop that from happening; it didn’t matter what the scientist in him said. A feeling that strong was impossible to ignore in any way, and he refused to let his heart get away from him. He was going to stop it if it tried.

  Nick would never admit to feeling this way. It was too childish. It made no sense. Hearts didn’t actually explode out of chests. It just didn’t happen, but no one else had to know how the sight of Rosalinda and that boy made him feel.

  He thought about calling someone but didn’t even know what to say. He thought that someone would have contacted him, but no one ever had.

  His mind raced back to his wedding day. Rosalinda had been there, six months after that fateful night together. Nick had seen her across the room. Had she been heavier than she was before? He thought, picturing it in his mind, but it wasn’t coming clear. So he rushed into his apartment and opened up his computer. He had meant to destroy the wedding pictures but had never been able to make himself do it. Nick found the pictures of Rosalinda, and stared at them.

  The pictures made it all clear. The baggy dress that she wore covered her middle, where she had been slightly rounder. It was all so clear. Why hadn’t he seen it at the time? How had he let himself be that blinded by the woman that he would end up divorcing?

  He didn’t know the answer to any of that. There were so many more questions that he just didn’t have the answer to. He listed them over and over in his head, until they boiled down to just a few. A few pieces of knowledge that he had to find out, somehow.

  Rosalinda must have been pregnant, then. But she hadn’t said anything. Why hadn’t she said anything?

  Sleep wasn’t going to come for him that night. It just wouldn’t be possible, not after that. Not after finding out about the kid. Not after finding out that she must have never said a word to him or anyone that would tell him.

  Nick would have helped; he would have done something. He would have at least offered to help with the money. But Rosalinda hadn’t said a word. There must have been a reason, but there was no good way to ask her about that. After all, the kid was a secret.

  9

  History Revisited

  Rosalinda clicked on her computer. It was time to look at the work her classes were doing. Luckily, the computer took care of most of it. It made her life so much easier. But no matter what technology had to do with it, there was still stuff that needed doing. Like transferring grades over to her grade book, which the program she used didn’t do automatically.

  It was a kind of a grinding job, but necessary, so she worked on it happily. It was a quiet moment in a sea of busy hours, just trying to get everything done. Rosalinda glanced down at the to-do list on her desk. There were a few things there, including several more power points that she had to do before she was far enough ahead to finish everything.

  A knock interrupted all of that, however. “Come in?” she called out, checking the clock. It wasn’t her office hours, and she didn’t have a class scheduled at this time that she could be late for. It must have been someone who needed to speak to her for something unexpected. Perhaps one of the TAs who needed help with something.

  Nick stepped into her office, and her heart caught in her throat.

  “Hi,” Nick said, looking down at the ground.

  “Nick.” Rosalinda’s throat went dry. She had trouble saying anything else.

  “I didn’t say hi,” he said apologetically. “I should have, when I first arrived.”

  “It’s fine,” Rosalinda said. “It was a surprise to me, too.” She tried to ignore the dryness in her mouth.

  “I was happy to hear that I knew someone here. Even if I panicked a little when I saw you,” Nick said. “I wasn’t sure if you wanted me to admit that you knew me.”

  “I probably wouldn’t have minded,” she said, shaking her head. “I just didn’t know what to say. You played it pretty cool.” It was a lie, but it was worth telling if it helped him feel better about the things that he was probably going to find out during his life here.

  “Thanks.” He offered a smile. “I hope that you’re doing all right.”

  “I am.”

  “It’s been a long time since we talked.”

  “A while, yeah,” she nodded.

  “We should have gotten in touch with each other,” Nick said. He was starting to sound like he was getting at something.

  Rosalinda nodded. There wasn’t really a response that she could make to that. He had struck her silent, and she didn’t want to say anything. There was so much risk involved in even speaking to him at all.

  “Has your life been treating you well?”

  “Yeah,” she replied. “Yeah, it has been.”

  He let out a heavy sigh. “I didn’t know you were working here when I took the job.” He sounded like he was hinting at something.

  She nodded. “I didn’t know you were working here at first, either.” Her wording was just as careful as his, with the way he spoke to her. It was clear that they were both admitting that they knew before they met.

  “I wish I had known. I would have come to visit before.” He seemed to have deci
ded to let them both lie. Rosalinda was grateful for that.

  “It’s fine. It’s been a long time.”

  “Like, seven years?”

  “It’s definitely been like seven years.” She didn’t have to do the math. Rosalinda had done it every single year. She had a living calendar of how long it had been.

  Nick drew in a deep breath, but didn’t speak right away.

  “Is something wrong?” She twitched in her chair.

  “I came because I had to talk to you.”

  “What’s wrong?” she asked.

  “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  Rosalinda’s heart sped up. He was looking at her like he knew her secret. She didn’t know how he could have found out; no one knew the truth. She hadn’t told a soul. “Tell you what?” She was ready to deny it.

  “You know what I mean.”

  “I don’t.” She shook her head in denial. “I don’t know why you’re upset with me.”

  “I’m not upset,” Nick sighed. “I was driving through campus last night.” He let the last word hang in the air. “And I saw you.”

  She paused. “What about it?”

  “I can do basic math, Rosa.”

  The moment he used her old nickname, her breath caught in her throat. She couldn’t speak. She couldn’t respond. Her eyes were locked on his face, the way his lips curled around her name. The magic in the way that he spoke it.

  “I figured it out. I saw you with your son.”

  “I…” She couldn’t say much about it. She didn’t know how to respond.

  “Is he mine?”

  She hung her head.

  “He is, isn’t he?” Nick sighed. “Why didn’t you tell me?” He was looking right at her, and she felt his eyes staring right through her. But it was hard to read whether he was angry or sad. Maybe he existed somewhere in the middle, or in some combination of the two emotions.

  “You were getting married,” she said quietly. “I didn’t want to ruin that.”

  “I wish you had said something,” Nick said. “I would have been here. I would have helped.” He looked pained. “You didn’t have to do this alone.”

  “I wasn’t alone,” she replied. “I had help. And I didn’t want to out you to your wife.”

  “You weren’t going to out anything. I promise.” Nick sat down at the desk. “I don’t know what to do now, but you should have told me.”

  “There wasn’t much to say about it,” she said. “But that wasn’t the right thing to do.”

  “What if I wanted to do the right thing?”

  Rosalinda shook her head. “I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t.”

  Nick reached across the desk and took her hand. “Please,” he said, “talk to me.”

  “I don’t know what to say. I really don’t.” She lowered her head to the desk. “I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t be sorry,” he shook his head.

  “I can’t help it. There’s no way that I should have kept it a secret. I didn’t know what to say. Or how to say it. And then you were getting married, and I didn’t know what to do. It was easier to just not say anything.” She was starting to rant, but the words just kept coming out. “I didn’t know what to say, but you seemed so happy. I couldn’t destroy that. I couldn’t get in the way. So I stayed quiet.”

  “You must have had such a hard time with it all,” he said, looking across the desk at her. This was all too much.

  “I guess I did, but it was worth it.”

  “I can’t believe I missed so much,” he sighed. “I couldn’t stop it from happening. I couldn’t do anything about it. I couldn’t help.” He shook his head. “I should have been there. I should have called. I should have done something.”

  “It was just one night,” she said. “A mistake that shouldn’t have happened.”

  Nick stood up.

  Her eyes followed to where he was looking. “What?”

  He didn’t say another word, instead walking around her desk.

  “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” she said, unable to raise her eyes. She didn’t know what she was expecting, but he had no reason to be happy about what she had done. It was all so wrong. She had lied; even if it was by omission, it was still a lie. “I should have told you. I just didn’t know how. And eventually, it was just too late to do anything.”

  “You were afraid?”

  “I knew that you were getting married,” she admitted. “You didn’t need this kind of thing at the start of a marriage. I didn’t even know if you were with her at the time that we got together.”

  “We weren’t,” he said. “It was a quick wedding.” He shook his head. “We found each other and married within months.”

  “Were you in love with her?”

  “I thought I was.”

  “You thought?”

  “I was an idiot.”

  “But now it’s over?”

  “Yeah. It’s over.” He sighed. “I don’t know what to tell you about this. I don’t know what to do. I want to make up for not being here.”

  “You don’t have anything to make up for,” she shook her head. “I was the one who didn’t say anything. I kept the secret. I should have said something.” She was ranting, and she couldn’t stop. “I shouldn’t have done it; It wasn’t right. You deserved to know. But I didn’t know what to do.”

  He pulled her into his arms, embracing her tightly. “It’s fine.”

  “Are you sure?” she asked, and looked up into his blue eyes. They were the same blue eyes that her son had.

  “I’m positive.” His face dipped down and crushed hers in a kiss. The heat was immediate, pouring out over them. It charmed her in ways that she couldn’t understand. Her arms moved up to wrap around his neck, pulling his face in more.

  Nick gladly obliged her, pulling her close with arms around her waist. His body was pressed right up against hers, and she wanted so much more of it. She had to have his touch. It was addictive to the point that she felt the pain of being separated from him for so long.

  His body felt like it was a place that she had always belonged. Absolute perfection, in a way that she couldn’t explain. “I missed you,” she said. It was all she could say as their lips separated.

  “I should have been here,” he replied. His hand ran through her hair. Then his lips descended on hers again; another kiss that stole the breath from her lungs, and made her knees want to give out from under her.

  “Oh! I’m sorry,” an embarrassed voice sounded from the doorway.

  The pair pulled apart almost immediately, and Rosalinda moved her hand up to wipe her mouth clean. “Oh. Uh.” She didn’t know what to say.

  But the student was already gone. Rosalinda looked up at Nick, and he finally got a chance to speak. “We got caught.”

  She frowned. “This isn’t going to look good.”

  “I’m sure it’ll be fine,” he assured her. “It’s not going to get in the way of the work that we’re doing. We don’t work together at all.”

  “But we still got caught making out in my office,” she said as she blushed.

  “Is that such a problem?” he asked.

  “I, uh, I guess I don’t know.” Rosalinda shook her head, pulling further away.

  “Promise me you’ll talk to me about that. You’re not going to bolt again,” he pleaded. “Please don’t run away.”

  “I’m not going to bolt. There’s nothing left to hide, really.” She kept her eyes low.

  “It’s just a matter of figuring out what to do now.” Nick took her hand again, holding it to his chest so that she couldn’t back up as far. Rosalinda was keenly aware of the way his heart was pounding in his chest.

  10

  Mother Knows Best

  “Hi, Mom,” Nick said, opening his apartment door to greet his mother. He had been expecting her, or at least, he was before the bombshell that he had uncovered. He wasn’t going to admit that the information had made him forget about the plans that had been made.

  “He
y,” his mother said, immediately looking concerned.

  “Sorry. I got distracted,” he said with a forced laugh.

  “You look that way,” his mother nodded slowly, but she didn’t push it. “Did you want to go and get dinner?”

  “We had plans for that, didn’t we?”

  “We sure did,” she nodded. “Is everything okay?”

  “Yeah, it is. I guess. Just adjusting.”

  “Is the new job that different?”

  “Teaching is a lot different,” he admitted. He was trying to play it cool. There was a lot that he wasn’t ready to talk about yet, and he was still processing the fact that he had a son. And that his son was seven years old.

  “I heard that it is,” she smiled. “Let’s get going.”

  “Do you want me to drive?”

  “I can drive. I’m not that old yet.”

  He laughed. “I never said you were. I was just trying to save us some gas.”

  “Why don’t you ride with me, then.”

  “You’re just as stubborn as ever,” he shook his head with a laugh.

  She glanced around. “It looks like you’re finally starting to furnish the place.”

  “You’re changing the subject.”

  “Who wants to talk about how stubborn I am? Everyone knows how stubborn I am,” she laughed heavily. “You know that’s no secret.”

  “It’s really not.”

  “Let’s go to dinner.” She stepped back out of the apartment, leaving the door open for Nick to follow her out.

  He made sure to check for his wallet. “Be right back,” he said, as he rushed back inside to grab the wallet out of the bowl on the side table. He had almost forgotten it.

  “I was wondering if you were going to make me pay or not.”

  “What son makes his mother pay for dinner?”

  “A broke son?” she joked. “One who just moved into town and is just getting settled.”

  “I promise that I’m not that bad off yet,” he grinned, and followed her down to the car. It was an older model, but carefully maintained. It was the same car his mother had driven for well over a decade by this point: dark blue, and a fond source of memories. “When are you going to trade this thing in?”