by S. C. Ellen
“Those fuckers had it coming to them, they know what the fuck they signed up for!” Carson looks deadlier than usual, and his anger is vibrating off of him in waves.
Outrage mixed with a hint of suspicion is clear on my father’s face. “What the fuck has gotten into you? You know the fucking rules!” And the worst thing Carson could have ever done at that very moment was look at me. It was a quick second, but that second is all that Vincenzo Pentalini needs to cock back the hammer of his gun. A terrifying feeling bubbles inside of my stomach, and I know this is it. We were caught. Nothing gets by him. Ever. Carson should know that by now!
My father is on the brink of losing it, and even though Carson hurt me earlier, he certainly doesn’t need to die over it. That’s when I know I have to step in to quite possibly save Carson’s life.
“If I may say something?” I step up from behind the group of men guarding the door. Every single man sends menacing glares toward me, but the most intense are coming from Carson and my father. I take a deep breath before continuing. “Poppa…I lied about grabbing my purse from the ladies’ room earlier.”
“I knew as much when I saw your purse sitting on the table right next to you. Do you two care to tell me what the hell is going on before I jump to my own conclusions?” He sneers with his gun still aimed skillfully on Carson.
“Sir, I—” Carson began, but I’m quick to cut him off.
“Well, I was still so shaken up about what has been happening…with the break-in…and then the shooting…I—” My eyes connect with Carson’s confused yet wary expression. “And I told him before his fight that the man who hurt me was working for a boss who wanted me dead…and for all we know they could be working with the others that are here, in this very building.. So, Carson was just trying to prove a point, Poppa. That’s why he wanted me to be here, to send a message that I’m protected. That we’re protected. That’s all.”
The silent look Carson sends me is a look my heart won’t let me focus on for too long. His words from earlier lurk in the back of my mind. This was a mistake. He knows that I lied, and I only hope he doesn’t ruin it for himself.
“Is that true, Carson?”
My eyes move from my father back to Carson’s. Silently praying that he goes along with it. Say yes, just say yes!
Carson connects his gaze back to my father, giving a firm nod.
“Well, then,” my father lowers his gun, “I believe the message was sent. However, if another plan goes through without my fucking permission, I won’t be so forgiving the next time, no matter how brilliant the plan may be.”
A wave of relief washes over me. “I’m sorry, Poppa, I should’ve told you, but I figured you already had enough stuff to deal with. I didn’t want to add to it.”
“When it comes to you, mio tesoro, there’s not one thing I wouldn’t do.” His stern eyes find Carson’s again before he turns back to his men. “Now let’s get out of here, all of this merda has made me hungry.”
“Dinner on Uncle Ro!” Jase calls out, earning a smack upside the head from the man who is now apparently buying us all dinner.
All the men are gone, all but one. “Aren’t you coming?” I ask Carson, who now has his back faced away from me.
“Go on without me, I’ll catch up later.”
Giving him the space he obviously needs, I leave the room, not knowing the outcome of what I will face later on tonight.
Alayna
Pulling up into the driveway I notice a certain car missing.
“Carson isn’t home yet?” I wonder aloud, noting the time on the clock reads two thirty in the morning.
“Eh, I wouldn’t worry about him. He’s probably blowing off some steam after what happened today,” Jase notes, letting out a yawn. “I’ve never seen Dad so pissed at him in my life. That was some serious shit.”
“Yeah. It was all just a misunderstanding.”
“Was it?” Jase questions with a knowing expression.
“What is that supposed to mean, Jase? Of course, it was.”
He puts his car into park, turning to face me with a steady gaze. “It better have been, because I have never seen Dad so trigger-happy thinking the wrong thing about you and him.”
I stay silent next to him. I know there’s a double meaning behind what Jase just told me, he knows what would happen if Carson and I ever publicly acted on our feelings.
Suddenly headlights appear behind us as his car pulls up the driveway and disappears into the garage.
“Guess that’s your cue.” I open the door to let myself out, but before I do, Jase pulls me back by the hand. I stare at him, “Be careful, Al. I don’t want either of you to get hurt.”
I give a swift nod, unsure of what to say back to him at that point. I walk out of the car and wait to go inside until I see his car fade into the night.
The house is completely dark when I walk in, and if it weren’t for me seeing Carson pull up, I would have never guessed he was here.
“Hello? Carson?” I call out, blindly making my way through the house.
“If you could turn a light on, Carson, that would be really great—ow, shit!!” I stub my toe on a chair and nearly go flying across the room.
Luckily, I steady myself on a corner wall and flip on a light switch. It takes a minute for my eyes to adjust to the light, but I quickly find myself in the kitchen…and I’m not alone.
“Carson?” Sitting on a barstool with bloodshot eyes and disheveled hair sits the man himself, sporting a half-empty bottle of whiskey in his hand.
“The one and fucking only,” he replies lazily, taking a swig out of the bottle, clearly drunk.
“How the hell did you drive home?” I scan his body for any marks or bruises, but there aren’t any.
“A car.” He smirks.
“No shit. You may be drunk but don’t put other lives in danger.”
He throws his head back in laughter. “Because I’m not already dangerous enough? I’m a bad fucking guy. Drunk driving is the least of my fucking sins.”
My heart drops at his brashness. “Carson…”
His head shoots up, as if he were just now registering that I’m in the room.
“Alayna…” He clumsily gets off the stool, making his way over to me.
“Whoa, there, big guy, let’s get you into bed, okay?” I wrap an arm around his waist to steady him. It’s a useless attempt to try because we both end up falling over anyway.
Even as drunk as he is, he still somehow manages to catch himself before he falls on top of me. Our eyes stay glued onto each other.
“Mio angelo…” He caresses my cheek. “Sei Bellissima.” You are beautiful.
“You’re drunk, Carson, and you smell like stale cigarettes and cheap liquor. Let’s go to bed, okay?”
He continues his trail across my cheek. “I would love to go to bed with you. I would fuck you in ways you can only dream about.” Suddenly his expression turns dark and he removes his hand quickly from my face. “Don’t touch the forbidden fruit,” he whispers, standing up with ease, and walking up the stairs into the bedroom.
I lie on the floor for a solid minute, contemplating what I should do. I decide that even though he’s an idiot for getting absolutely shit-faced, I don’t want him to die choking on his own vomit.
I trudge my way up the stairs, expecting to find him sprawled out on the bed, passed out in a fit of snoring. What I don’t expect is to see him sitting on the bed, staring out of the window fully awake.
“You didn’t have to lie for me today,” he says, still peering out of the window.
“I know,” I reply, leaning against the door.
“So why did you?”
I don’t know how to answer that, so I stay silent.
“No one’s ever done that for me.”
“Done what?”
“Put their ass on the line for me like you did.”
“Well, I think it’s only fair I save you to from time to time.” I shrug, making my way toward t
he bed to sit down next to him.
He grimaces before lying back on the bed. “I didn’t deserve it. Not after what I said to you today…”
Sorrow fills me, but I shrug it off. “It’s not worth dying over.”
“I’m a bad man, Alayna. You deserve someone good, someone who will love and honor you. Not drag you into their darkness.”
“I knew what I was getting myself into, Carson.”
His bloodshot eyes look up at me with such dark anger that it scares me for a moment. He gets up from the bed and moves close to my face. “Did you really know?” His hands suddenly catch my upper arms, holding them in a tight grip, and he yanks me off of the bed. His face is washed of the usual softness he has around me, and in return, the mask of a monster appears.
I shake in his grip, but he only tightens it. “Carson, let go, you’re scaring me.”
His smile twists into something evil. “Good. Maybe then you’ll realize what I truly am. What I always will be.”
I nervously shake my head, “I don’t believe that.”
He looks even angrier at my words. “I’m not capable of anything but violence and destruction, Alayna! I get off on the fucking thrill it brings me. I kill without a second thought or any remorse. These hands have shown no mercy to even the innocent. Can’t you see? I’m a ruthless fucking monster, and I don’t give a fuck to be anything else. Don’t paint me out to be someone I’m not. I am not capable of love!”
I may be terrified of him at the moment, but I know that’s what he wants me to be. I know he wants me to believe he’s some kind of heathen, but I know deep down he’s scared of letting someone see him for him.
“You can tell me you’re a monster until you’re blue in the face, Carson, but I’ve seen you. I’ve seen you vulnerable when you think no one else is watching. If you just let me in…”
His body backs me into a corner, locking me in. His sneer deadly, and his eyes vacant of any ounce of humanity. “Do you want to know what happened to all the women in my life who tried to save me?”
I stand there like a mouse caught in a trap, silently hoping for my Carson to come back to me.
“They are fucking dead. Just like you will be if you keep trying to see something in me that wasn’t ever there to begin with. My darkness shows no mercy, Alayna, even to the innocent. I’m a walking fucking curse.”
My mind reels, but I can’t hold my stupid tongue. “I’m not going to abandon you, Carson.”
The mere mention of his childhood trauma deepens the turmoil within him. “Then it’s by your hand that you sign your certain death.”
He releases me and leaves me there without a backwards glance, and I fall to the floor in a heap, with the built-up tears finally releasing.
I know I should stay away, hell, even run as far away as possible from him and the truths he revealed, but why does a piece of me still want to prove him wrong?
I feel it before it comes up, and I quickly run into the bathroom to dispel the awful acid that makes its way up my throat. I fall onto the tiled floor and lean against the wall to ease the nausea. If what I’m thinking is true, we have an even bigger problem to worry about than what’s going on between us…
And this is one secret Carson and I won’t be able to hide so easily.
Alayna
There is no way I could be pregnant. My birth control lasts for three months and I… I pale at the realization. I was too distracted by the outside world that I never made my follow-up appointment to get another round of it, and now I’m over two weeks late.
I pushed the thought off for as long as I could and blamed my nausea on the stress that I was under, but I can’t deny it anymore.
I need answers, and I need them now.
Unfortantely, it will have to wait until the following day when I can think of a plan.
Luckily, it didn’t take long to figure something out, because when I wake up the next day, Carson is gone, but I am not alone. Lance greets me downstairs. He tells me that Carson is tied up in meetings all day, and he is to watch over me until he returns. With little convincing on my end, I make Lance believe that I need to run some errands. That is how I find myself in the middle of a local pharmacy bathroom, holding a freshly used pregnancy test in my hand.
The kit says it’ll take three minutes for the results to show, and I swear I’m going to pass out from anxiety well before then.
If I’m pregnant with Carson’s child, that would mean one thing and one thing only…Carson’s death. It’s bad enough that we were fooling around behind my father’s back, but now that I might be pregnant? My father would show no mercy against him.
This is bigger than the two of us and totally out of our control.
The timer on my phone rings… the results are ready.
I look down at the stick and let out a shaky breath.
Positive.
My heart drops to my stomach as I read the words. My mind not believing the truth that is right in front of me.
I wait a few moments, and take another test out of the blue package, foolishly thinking that the first one was faulty or defective. I chew on my lip as I wait another three minutes.
Positive.
Tears fill my vision and pool over onto my cheeks. I’m pregnant. There is no more denying it. A part of myself, and a part of Carson, is now growing inside of me. An overwhelming sense of fierce protectiveness overtakes me, and I know whatever happens, I will protect this child with or without anyone’s help.
I let out a muffled sob as I unconsciously set a hand on my stomach. I always wanted to be a mother. Of course, I would have done things differently if I could, but it’s too late to think about what ifs. I’m pregnant with Carson’s child, and nothing will change that fact.
As much as it hurts me to think about it, I know the only way we’ll all survive this is if I run away. Run away and leave this world behind me. It’ll hurt like hell to leave my family, but it’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make for my baby, and if Carson wants to join me, then so be it, but with what he said to me last night, I won’t hold my breath. I wash my hands and look at myself in the mirror. It’s only a matter of time before I start to show, and I know that we have to start preparing for it now if we have any chance to escape.
I rub a hand gently across my abdomen with a quiet promise. I will never let anyone hurt you.
I just hope Carson feels the same when I tell him.
“Hey, are you alright? You’ve been silent since we left the store,” Lance asks me as we sit in Carson’s driveway.
I give him a forced smile. “Yeah. Just super tired,” I say, hoping he won’t read too much into my obvious lie.
He seems to buy right into it. “Me, too. Man, that Nina…” He whistles out loud. “She is something, isn’t she?”
I give him a shrug of my shoulders, “Sure, Lance.” Poor guy has no idea.
“Well, have a good night, Alayna.”
I unbuckle the seatbelt, holding tight onto the test in my pocket. “You, too.” I get out of the car with dread bubbling in my stomach. Telling Carson could go one of two ways: super good or super bad. There is no in between.
I open the front door and notice that all the lights are shut off in the house again, and there’s no sign of Carson anywhere. I’m a bit confused by it because I saw his car in the driveway and he’s usually hanging out in the kitchen or living room at this hour. I shrug, not wanting to dwell on it for too long. He’s probably still recovering from the massive hangover I know he’s probably sporting from last night. I make my way over to the stairs, hesitating on the bottom step.
Is this the right time to tell him? Should I wait and think of a better way? I shake my head. There is never a right time for something like this. I hear a bit of shuffling from our room and know that he’s undoubtedly awake. Before I lose the courage I need, I take the positive test from my pocket and walk the rest of the way up the stairs.
With a deep sigh, I turn the knob to the bedroom door, and the fi
rst thing that comes into view are the different articles of clothing skewed all around the floor, and a couple of pictures knocked out of place.
With a confused look around the room, my eyes stop to find someone—or should I say two familiar figures—in my bed, both naked, and in the midst of fucking.
“What the hell?!” I yell out, feeling my pulse run cold at the sight.
All I see is the back silhouette of a girl on top with Carson under her. She looks back with a glint in her eye and my face pales at who it is.
Nina is staring at me while she moans out in pleasure, as Carson’s hand grips her ass, guiding her hard against him with his eyes closed tightly shut.
When they open, he looks at me with a haunting lack of emotion, like he doesn’t care that my heart is literally ripping into pieces right in front of him. He shows no remorse. He wants me to see this. He wants me to hate him, and in that moment, I do. In that moment, he’s the worst kind of person he could ever be, and I hate him for causing me so much pain.
My heart drops to the floor beneath me, and I have to steady myself against the doorframe to keep from falling at the sight of what is going on.
His eyes linger on my face with a smirk before they rest on the test in my hand. He halts any further action, and suddenly pushes Nina’s naked body off of him. She yelps at the sudden loss of contact and braces herself against the pillows, pulling the blanket over her with a sneer.
My eyes linger on her, before they find Carson’s naked form looking at me with harsh and lingering question. “What is that you are holding, Alayna?”
Tears spring into my eyes. I am so beyond hurt; I can’t even think straight. How could he do this to me?! Anger spikes in my veins just then, and I can’t help it, I yank the blanket right off the bed and throw it onto the floor in a heap. “Nina? Really, Carson? You couldn’t have at least found someone a little less desperate than her to sleep with?”
Nina’s face contorts in rage, “Don’t let her talk to me like that, Carson!”
His eyes are glued onto the hand that I now hide from view. “Get the fuck out, Nina,” he angrily declares with a sharp tone of voice.