by S. C. Ellen
She lets out a gasp, “What do you mean get out? We’re not finished here, Carson. Tell that spoiled bitch to leave!”
With his patience wearing thin, he roughly grabs her up by the neck. “I won’t say it again. I told you to leave. Now.”
A terrified expression passes through her, and she gets up from the bed, collecting her clothes from the ground. “Fine!” She turns to me with blazing eyes. “He’ll get bored of you, Alayna, like he already has, and I’ll be there for him every. Single. Time. You can’t tame a man like him. Your father might be somebody, Alayna, but that won’t stop me from making Carson mine, and he will be. I’ll make sure of it.”
I stand in front of her. “You don’t scare me, Nina.”
A smirk works its way across her once-pretty features. “It’s not me you should fear.”
Before I can question what she meant, Carson sends her a warning glance, and she hurries her movements before she sends me one last wink on her way out of the door.
“Alayna—” Carson begins moving out of the bed, and seeing him in his current state snaps something inside of me, and I can’t hold myself back.
He tries to come toward me, but I push him back. “Don’t you dare come near me! How could you do this?” There are no tears this time, only fierce and unfiltered anger.
He suddenly punches a whole in the wall. “I don’t know what else to do, Alayna! This thing between us has gotten us in way too fucking deep. I can’t keep doing this!”
“Don’t know what to do?! Anything in this world would have been better than that!”
I push him with all my might and deliver blow after blow on his chest. He takes my hand in a tight grip and pins me against the wall.
“Stop it, Alayna!” he angrily demands.
“No!” I struggle against him to get free, but he doesn’t budge. “Let me go, you bastard!”
“You want to go? Then fucking leave!” He bitterly releases me. “I never wanted this anyways! You are a stubborn bitch half the time, and when you’re not, you’re just a good fuck to me!” His chest is heaving up and down as I take in what he just admitted.
He never wanted me.
It was just a lie.
I look at him like he just slapped me across the face. He might as well have because I can physically feel my heart shattering into pieces.
He pulls away from me and knocks everything off of the dresser in one sweep, sending glass and pictures crashing onto the floor next to him. “I knew I should have never fucking done this with you from the beginning. How stupid could I be? Fuck!” He continues his assault to the room, and I stand frozen in the corner, watching the man whose baby I carry in my belly, destroying everything I fought so hard to make work.
It’s at that moment that I make my decision. Carson is too far gone into the life of La Cosa Nostra to risk it for anyone, let alone a child. I will take myself and my unborn child far from him, and anyone else who tries to come between us.
With the fire I need resting thickly in my bones, I snap out of my stupor and grab a bag from the closet, placing any clothes I can manage to get my hands on inside of it. I exit the room and make my way down the stairs before I am yanked back.
“What the fuck was inside of your hand, Alayna? I won’t ask again.”
“Get off of me!” I bring my hand around and smack him hard across the face. His head whips to the side, and his eyes are on fire when he connects his gaze back to mine.
He shakes me hard in his grasp. “Goddamit, Alayna! Tell me now or I won’t hesitate to take matters into my own hands and force you to tell me!”
I break away from him and pull it out of my back pocket, throwing it onto the floor next to him. His expression drops, and his face pales as he picks up the test from off of the ground and reads the small letters. He stands frozen for a moment as he stares at the test. His expression is terse and full of shock.
He pulls at the strands of his hair and suddenly drops to his knees. “Fuck!” he roars out loud. It’s absolutely terrifying to watch the man who always holds so much composure physically lose it in front of me. I can’t take much more of this, my mask is starting to slip, and I won’t let him see another tear escape from me. I need to be strong for my baby. I take the closest keys I can manage to get my hands on and run out of the door.
I run as fast as I can to Carson’s car and lock myself inside of it, throwing my bag off to the side and firing up the engine.
I hear him, before I see him come after me. “Alayna!” I put the car in reverse and press hard on the gas. The car lurches backwards, and I squeal it out of there, leaving Carson calling after me with high alarm.
My line of vision begins to blur as unwanted tears flow freely down my face, now that I’m out of sight. I was so stupid to think otherwise about Carson. Nina was right, he would never change for me. He’s hopeless, and I was too naïve to see that. I gave my whole heart to a monster and lost everything in return. I speed out of town with nowhere to go. I’m broken and pregnant, with no place to stay, and all I can do is look back in the rearview mirror, watching everything Carson and I worked so hard for up to this point vanish into the distance.
Alayna
I know the first thing I have to do is toss my cell phone so that I can’t be tracked. I then drive for what feels like hours until I finally find a motel that is far enough away from the city. I get out of the car and stretch my sore muscles before I make my way inside of the little reception area to book my stay for the night.
A man with a face full of freckles greets me at the front counter with an old smile. “Well, hello there, dearie. Looking to find a room?”
I nod. “Yes, please.”
“No problem. Do you mind giving me a minute? I need to check if we have any availability for tonight.”
I stand off to the side, watching the man go into another room. I watch him through a glass window, eyeing me while he talks on the phone.
A strange feeling bubbles its way up inside of me, telling me to get back in the car and leave. I shake it away thinking that I’m just paranoid because I haven’t been allowed to leave without someone watching me in God knows how long. I also drove far enough away that there isn’t any possible chance a soul could know who I am and report me back to my father, or worse—to Carson.
The old man comes back with a smile. “You’re in luck. We have one room available. Let me show you where it is.”
I give a tight smile and follow him. Noting that there isn’t a single car in the parking lot except for mine and another car. It looks like he has more rooms than what he led on. I start to panic.
“And this is your room, Alayna.” He opens the door for me, and I pause.
A sense of dread overtakes me. “I didn’t give you my name,” I state, backing up from him until I hit a hard chest.
“No, you didn’t.”
The first man laughs. “You didn’t think we’d not get a piece of the action against the old fella who blamed us for killing the wee Russian bastard, did ya?”
I let out a gasp as the realization hit me. They’re Irish. The same individuals my father blamed for the death of the Russian leader, Vitaly.
Suddenly I’m grabbed from behind and pushed into the dark room. Fear claws its way up my throat once my eyes land on the syringe the old Irish man holds.
“Sweet dreams, dearie. You’re gonna need your rest for what we have planned for you.”
I scream out in surprise when I feel the thick needle press into my skin and inject me with a drug that immediately makes me go sluggish. I can feel the room start to go dark, threatening to take me under, but not before I hear the Irish man speak into his phone.
“Dmitri, is it?” He pauses with a sneer. “I think I have who you’ve been looking for.”
I awake groggy and tired, accompanied with a pounding headache. I feel sore, cold, and in need of a shower. My eyes scan the motel room until they stop on a figure at the far end of it, and I can physically feel my heart drop into
the pit of my stomach once I realize who it is.
“Ahhh, my kukla finally awakens.” Dmitri peers out of the shadows, causing my blood to run cold at the sight of him. I try to get up from the bed, but my hands are cuffed on either side of me. The movement causes the white sheets of the bed to fall away from me, and I realize with horror, that I am completely naked.
“Please, Dmitri, let me go. Whatever you want, my father will give you, just please let me go.”
“What I want, I already have, precious girl. Why would I let it go?” He makes his way over to the bed, his hand brushing over my bare thigh. “So beautiful,” he whispers as his eyes roam my naked body. Bile rises in my throat, and it takes everything in me to hold it back.
“Why?” My voice is hoarse and the feeling of exhaustion overtakes me, and I know right then, that the drugs are still in my system.
“Why what, kukla? Why wouldn’t I want to destroy the man’s world since he destroyed mine? Ever hear of an eye for an eye?”
Dmitri rises up from the bed and grabs me up by the chin forcefully. I let out a terrified yelp at his roughness. “I knew it was only a matter of time before I would find you. Only this time, beautiful girl…no one is here to save you.”
My eyes widen in fear as his hand trails across my body and I can do nothing to stop it or defend myself. I try to scream but it falls on deaf ears.
He must have read my thoughts because his eyes grow bright with eagerness. “You have been a hard girl to find thanks to that yeblan who follows you around. Every time I thought I had you, you merely slipped from my fingertips, but not this time, Alayna…this time you are not slipping away. Tonight, you’re mine, and nobody in this world can stop it. Not even you.”
I close my eyes, cursing life’s cruel plan for me. I let the drug take me under because I can’t stand to look up at the man any longer. He may take my body, but I’ll be damned if I let him take anything else with him.
Alayna
Thirst and a strong sensation of hunger wakes me up, and I find myself in yet another room. This one, however, isn’t nice like the other one. This one is wet, damp, dark, and cold. I look around with fear clawing its way throughout my body when I realize I’m trapped in what appears to be a metal cage.
With blurry vision and my body sore and tender to the touch from the fresh bruises that now course my skin, I hold back the tears that threaten to fall. I don’t want to think about what has taken place to me while I was passed out. I can’t let my mind go there. I place a hand over my belly. I’m so sorry.
My eyes take a quick moment to adjust to the darkness. “Hello?” Barely above a whisper, my dry and dehydrated voice echoes throughout the cemented basement.
A light flickers on a few seconds later, and feet are heard coming down the makeshift wooden stairs.
A man I have never seen before suddenly appears in front of the steel bars, eying me warily.
He is a scary-looking man, with dead eyes and an expressionless face.
“Come,” he demands.
I hesitate in the corner of the cell, leery of the man before me. I don’t know what he plans on doing with me, and even though I may be weak and tired, I’ll be damned to go down without a fight.
His expression turns angry. “Come,” he orders again, only this time he grabs ahold of the bars, shaking them a bit harshly.
I hesitantly walk over to the man, making sure to leave enough space between us in case he decides to do something with me.
He pulls out a plain bologna sandwich and a small water bottle from his pocket, tossing it on the floor next to me. Without a word, he heads back up the stairs, leaving me in the darkness.
Without another thought, the sandwich and the water are quickly devoured in record time.
A violent sudden urge to puke rushes through me, and I upchuck every last thing I just consumed, leading me back into starvation.
Weak and tired, a small stray tear falls down my cheek once the heaving is through, and I let myself finally take in my situation. I am alone, physically violated, emotionally drained, and lying in a puddle of my own puke. My poor poppa must be going out of his mind, and my mom, oh god, my mom is probably a mess right now. My mind wanders to Carson, and my heart breaks that much more, thinking about the what ifs.
I have no idea where I am, or if I’m even in the same country anymore. All I know is that I will try my hardest to escape this, and I will not let anyone break me no matter how hard they try. I will protect myself and my baby no matter what.
A sloshing of water breaks through my thoughts, and I peer up at a small, fragile girl. Her black hair is long and ratty, and it looks like she is wearing a brown sack. Her pale skin is almost transparent, and her eyes appear to be almost glazed over.
She approaches the cage warily, before she enters it, placing the bucket on the floor next to me.
I eye her as she wrings out a sponge inside the bucket and begins to wash at my feet. The warm soapy water provides relief for a quick moment, but I am leery of her.
She continues to wash at the grime on my legs, when I register the old and fresh bruises on her skin. She must have had the same fate as I did, only she probably had it worse. My heart goes out for her as her body tells me she’s been taking abuse for quite a while.
She wrings out the sponge once again, washing at my arms. She continues to bathe me until she reaches my stomach, and I know what I have to do.
“Please, you have to help me.” My eyes are frantic and desperate at this point. “I need to get out of here!”
Confusion and hesitation flickers across her face.
“I am pregnant, please, you must help me escape!” I whisper harshly, hoping like hell that she understands.
Placing a cold hand across my midsection, she closes her eyes. “Bebe.” Her thick-accented voice is hard to understand, but there’s no mistaking what she just said.
“Yes, a baby! Please help me,” I cry out.
She stares at me sadly, “No help, only death.”
I take a sharp intake of breath, involuntarily clutching my stomach. “No, please!”
Her face turns a dark shade of red, and she snarls at my hand then up at the ceiling. “Los monstruos.”
“No, you don’t understand.” She must think that the men have done this to me, I franticly try to word it right to make her comprehend. “No los monstruos bebe. Mi bebe! Ayudame por favor!” With the little Spanish I know, I desperately hope that it translates to something that she can figure out.
Relief overcomes me as understanding dawns across her face. She puts her hand on top of mine with the look of grief. “Pray,” is all she says before she leaves me in the dark, with helplessness coursing through my veins.
Looks like only God could help me now, so with my hand still clutched around my stomach, I whisper into the dark, God, please save us.
Carson
I thought I knew what regret and fear felt like, but nothing prepared me for this. I did this to her, I fucking handed her over to our enemies, and God knows what they are doing to her.
My fucking Alayna. Pregnant and alone with my fucking child.
So much anger flows throughout my body, and God help the next person who comes into this fucking office asking me another dumb fucking question. I haven’t been able to sleep, eat, or even take a fucking piss knowing that she’s out there somewhere, hurting or even worse.
Jase enters, nearly getting a faceful of broken glass from the cup I had just thrown against the wall. “For fuck’s sake, man!” I offer no apology and sit there in the meeting room waiting for the rest of the men to show up.
Pissed is an understatement that I’m sitting here and not tearing this fucking city into pieces trying to find her like I’ve been doing. God only knows the amount of blood I have shed across this state already just for a tiny bit of information on her whereabouts. Vinny called the meeting and demanded that I be there no matter how crazed he’s been with this situation, as well.
Vinny w
alks in, locking the door behind him, holding a flashdrive. My mind goes wild as his ashen face makes his way over to a computer in the corner of the room.
“Smokey had this taped across his body when his thirteen-year-old son found him dead in his bed today.”
Jase knocks a fist against the table. “Son of a bitch!” he whispers underneath his breath.
I stay emotionless, my body and mind already past the point of shock and anger. Nothing can render me speechless anymore—or so I thought.
Vinny plugs the drive into the USB port and clicks on an unnamed file. At first, it’s a blank screen until I see her, and that’s when all hell breaks loose.
Alayna
I don’t know how long I’ve been down here for, but it must have been long enough for me to settle into a routine of eat, sleep, and bathe. No sign of Dmitri and his men, and for that I am thankful. However, today I am wakened to the sounds of men stomping down the stairs. I lift my head up and am immediately assaulted by a flash of bright light.
“Good morning, kukla, sleep well?” Dmitri’s voice sends a shudder straight through me. “Oh, how I’ve missed you while I’ve been hiding away from your father, but no worries, kukla, I am back and here to stay.” He barks an order in Russian to his two soldiers, and they both enter the cage, picking me up roughly from off the ground, and carry me out of it.
Dmitri rakes his eyes over the tiny cloth I’m wearing, that leaves nothing to the imagination. “A little bath and food does a body good, no?”
I don’t give him the satisfaction of showing fear.
“Tie her up!” He claps. Both men hoist me over to the chains hanging from the ceiling. I attempt to put up a fight, but it hits me that it’s not only my safety I have to worry about, but my baby’s, as well.
“Look at you, already an obedient slave.” Dmitri winks, and I stare intently at the ground as the men spread my arms and legs far apart.