Insanity

by Kira Moericke

  “I was just taking a look at your file,” Dr. Langley said. He grabbed a pencil and tapped it against the manila folder that rested on his desk.

  I didn’t say anything.

  “It says that you’ve been having the same dream over and over again for the past five years.” He looked at me with a look that made me want to squirm. It was like he was analyzing me or something. “I assume you are still having this dream?”

  I stared down at my file, wondering all the secrets that it contained. “Yes.”

  Dr. Langley took a deep breath through his nose and leaned back in his chair. “Can you tell me about this dream?”

  I continued to stare at the folder, my vision becoming blurred. I’m silent for a long moment before I answer: “I’m walking toward a cliff. I can’t stop. I can’t call for help.” The images flashed through my mind. “Then there’s a boy. He tells me to stop. To rejoin him and the rest of the party. But I don’t. Instead, I let myself fall backwards from the cliff.” I blinked, then shifted my eyes to Dr. Langley. “Then I wake up.”

  “Hmm.” Dr. Langley drummed his fingers together. “So, in this dream, you’re under some kind of spell?”

  I lifted my shoulders. “I don’t know. I guess so?”

  Dr. Langley leaned forward and pulled out a giant binder. Flipping it open, he scribbled something down.

  Oh no, I thought as I watched the movement of his pen. He’s writing “she’s insane,” or “delusional,” or “nutcase.” Suddenly feeling slightly panicky, I strained my neck in an attempt to catch a glimpse of what he was writing, but before I could, Dr. Langley looked back at me. I quickly relaxed in my seat.

  “Now tell me about this boy. Do you know him? Is he someone close to you?”

  I thought back to the nightmare, about the boy drenched from the rain. “I’ve never seen him before except in my dreams.” I frowned, trying to remember his features. “He looked as if he had stepped out of a history book.”

  Dr. Langley’s bushy brown eyebrows pinched together. “What do you mean?”

  “His clothing. It was different. It looked…older. And his hair was tied back with a ribbon.”

  “A ribbon?”

  I nodded. Furrowing my brows, I tried to remember more. “And his eyes.” Their vivid color shone brightly in my memory. “They were blue on the outer rim, then blurred to this bright green color, which turned to this goldish color in the center.” It was as if he had a rainbow trapped within his irises.

  “And do you know the name of this boy?”

  The image of the boy faded from my mind. I shook my head. “No.”

  Dr. Langley bowed his head and scribbled something else into his binder.

  “Do you know anything else about this boy?”

  I stared at a water stain on his desk next to the pencil holder. There was only one other thing I knew about the boy.

  Glancing at Dr. Langley, I replied, “He loved me.”

  ***

  My session lasted for another forty-five minutes, time in which, I continued to tell Dr. Langley about my dreams, and for him to prescribe me some medication that was supposed to help.

  “Will they help get rid of my nightmares?” I had asked Dr. Langley when he handed me the little orange container.

  “Yes. All you have to do is take two per night, and they should cure you from whatever is going on with your brain when you sleep.”

  Now I wandered through the halls back to my room, turning the little bottle in my hands. I looked at the label and saw my name printed in tiny black letters: Emma Loraine Knightley.

  When I got near my room, I stuffed the bottle into the pocket of my black and gray plaid skirt before I reached for the key, which I had strung onto a silver chain, from around my neck and unlocked the door.

  Inside, it was dark. Groping blindly to the wall, I found the light switch and flipped it on.

  “Hey, New Girl.”

  I jumped at the sound of Nova’s voice and found her sitting on my desk chair. A freaky-ass smile stretched across her face, reminding me of the Cheshire cat from The Adventures of Alice in Wonderland.

  “What are you doing?” I asked, trying to calm my racing heart. I felt like I could have had a heart attack.

  “I know you’re one of the Crazies,” Nova said, her voice thick like honey. She got up from the chair and took a step toward me. I took a step back.

  “One of what?” I frowned.

  “One of the Crazies,” she repeated. She tilted her head to the side, making her eyes peek out from under her purple striped bangs that covered half of her face.

  A chill suddenly rushed through me. I swallowed hard. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  Nova’s smile didn’t falter. In fact, it seemed to grow bigger, if that was even possible. “I saw you go into Dr. Langley’s office.”

  “I…I…” Couldn’t think of an excuse.

  Nova laughed darkly.

  “It’s alright, New Girl.” She started coming toward me. Quickly, I hurried to my bed to get out of her way. She reached the door and opened it, then stepped out into the hall. She started to close the door, then stopped. Turning, she looked at me. “Your secret is safe with me.”

  Then she disappeared.

  FIVE

  I COULDN’T FALL asleep. I had taken the medication that Dr. Langley had prescribed to me, and now I couldn’t sleep.

  Sitting up, I glanced across the dark room to see if Nova had returned. She hadn’t. I couldn’t help but feel a little relieved. After our last encounter, she had definitely left me with the heebie-jeebies.

  Kicking away the blankets that tangled around my body, I crawled out of bed and hurried to the door. I knew I couldn’t sleep, but I certainly didn’t want to wait around for Nova to return.

  Opening the door, I peered down the hallway. It was almost completely dark. Every other light was on, giving the hall a very eerie atmosphere. But I pulled every strand of courage that was inside of me and started down it.

  There was a deafening silence as I made my way down the dimly lit hallway. I kept glancing behind me, expecting someone to come out from one of the rooms and catch me wandering through the halls after hours.

  You won’t be wandering the halls for long. Just long enough to grow sleepy.

  Suddenly, there was a bang from behind. I whirled around, but didn’t see anyone. My heart started doing double-time inside my chest.

  “Hello?” I called, my voice cracking out of fright.

  There was no reply.

  Relax, Em. You were just imagining the noise. No one is there. It was all in your head.

  One of the lights a few yards in front of me momentarily went out, but it came back on a second later. When my eyes adjusted to the lighting, I saw that there was someone standing under it. A girl in a white cotton nightgown, her dark hair wet and dripping onto the rug.

  My breath was now ragged as I stared at her. I definitely was not imaging it.

  The girl tilted hear head up slightly, just enough so that I could see her eyes. They were dark as night itself.

  “Em-ma,” she croaked.

  I sucked in a deep breath. Fear had me by its grasp. Whirling around, I bolted down the hall in the direction I had been originally going, my feet flying against the long blue rug. The doors on either side of me blurred together.

  “Em-ma.”

  The voice whispered in my ears, sending tears to spring into my eyes. What was going on? Why was this person trying to scare me?

  When I came to the set of staircase that led to the main foyer, I hurried down them.

  “Em-ma.”

  “Stop!” I cried. I jumped down from the second to last step and ran toward the right. My feet slipped against the white marble floor that was speckled with bits of gold. My vision was blurry from tears, so I didn’t know where I was going. All I did was run.

  I didn’t know how long I ran for, though it didn’t feel for very long, but suddenly I reached a door. Shoving
it open, I rushed inside and closed it. I leaned back against the solid wood surface, squeezing my eyes shut as I tried to calm down. My heart was racing; I could hear its beats inside my ears.

  Could people die from fear?

  It took a few minutes, but eventually I did start to calm down. When I finally felt that I was okay, I opened my eyes and took in my surroundings. I had stumbled upon a large room that was completely empty besides several large paintings that were hung upon the walls and a lonely piano that was near the large bay window that stretched nearly from the floor to the ceiling, letting moonlight spill inside, casting the room in a silvery-blue hue.

  What is this place? I thought as I took several steps deeper into the room. I tilted my head up and saw a large painted mural on the ceiling, featuring baby angels with harps and halos and fluffy white wings. It reminded me of the Sistine Chapel. And in the center of it all hung a large intricate chandelier, the arms stretching and twisting outwards like the roots of an ancient tree.

  Something deep inside me churned. There was something oddly familiar about this room. It was as if I had seen it somewhere before; perhaps in a dream?

  I turned and faced the piano that was bathed in silvery moonlight, making the dark glossy wood sparkle. Suddenly, music and laughter filled my head, as if a ghost of a memory was being awakened.

  When I reached the large instrument, I ran a hand over the polished wood as I walked around it to the little bench. I didn’t sit down, but I pressed the fingers of my right hand down onto the white pieces, letting them tip-toe across the ivory keys. They produced a sweet sound that echoed throughout the empty room.

  “Do you play?”

  I snapped my head up just as my hand pressed down on a wrong key, producing an ugly, flat note. I quickly searched the room, then noticed a figure lurking in the dark. My heart pitter-pattered in fear.

  “N–no.” I shook my head, then quickly pushed back a long strand of my blond hair. “No, I don’t play.”

  “Well, you could have fooled me.” The figure moved closer, and I had this sudden urge to move back. Though before I could lift my foot off of the ground, the boy stepped into the moonlight.

  I sucked in a sharp breath. The boy was dressed in brown slacks and a white tunic that had the collar popped up. His hair was a rich golden-brown color, which fell around his shoulders. He looked young, not much older than me.

  “Do you know what you were playing?” he asked. I caught a hint of a fading British accent when he spoke.

  I shook my head again, feeling suddenly nervous. “I didn’t even know I was playing a song.”

  “May I?” He motioned toward the piano bench that I was standing nearby.

  I nodded and quickly got out of the way.

  I watched as the boy approached the piano, moving as elegantly as a dancer. The edges of his form seemed to sparkle in the moonlight. I squeezed my eyes shut, sensing that I was being tricked by the lighting.

  The boy sat down on the piano bench, his back straight and his fingers bent just so. Then he began to play. The first few notes I recognized as the ones I had played, but then he continued on, going deeper into the song.

  “Lavender’s blue, dilly, dilly, lavender’s green

  When I am king, dilly, dilly you shall be queen.”

  “It’s beautiful,” I said, awed by the sweet harmony of his voice. It was a soft tenor that seemed to warm me from the inside out. “What is it called?”

  “‘Lavender’s Blue,’” he replied. He continued to play. “It was written as a folk song in the early 1800’s.”

  Neither of us spoke for a moment, so I closed my eyes and let myself be swept up by the music…

  “Mother I’m scared!”

  All around me there was darkness except for the sudden flashes of lightning. A low growl of thunder rumbled nearby, and I shrieked, grabbing my dolly and hugging her close to me. I turned my head slightly to the right. Even though it was dark, I could still make out my sister’s sleeping form as she slept in the bed across the room. I did not understand how she could sleep through the storms. They were so loud and terrifying that they could have woken up the whole city of London.

  “Darling, what is it?” Mother suddenly opened the door to the bedroom and came in, holding a single candle to illuminate the room. “What is the matter?”

  “I’m frightened, Mother,” I replied in a tiny voice. I shrunk into myself and held my dolly even tighter.

  “There is nothing to be frightened of, my child,” my mother said, coming up near my bed.

  “But the thunder…” I started.

  “Is just noise.” She reached down and brushed my hair away from my face.

  “Can you sing to me?” I loved it when she sang. It always calmed me.

  Mother smiled sweetly as she sat down in the chair between mine and my sister’s bed and placed the candle on the small wooden table. She continued to brush my hair back as she started to sing a sweet harmony that I knew by heart.

  My eyes began to droop as my mother soon came to the last verse. The storm outside had now already passed, so there were no more frightening noises. Instead, all I heard was my mother’s sweet voice.

  “I love to dance, dilly, dilly, I love to sing;

  When I am queen, dilly, dilly, you’ll be my king.

  Who told me so, dilly, dilly, who told me so?

  I told myself, dilly, dilly, I told me so.”

  At the last note, my eyes finally closed.

  “What are you doing in here?”

  I snapped my eyes open and looked in the direction of the door. A woman was standing there in her pajamas, her hair weaved into a braid then pinned to the top of her head. She looked angrily at me.

  “I…” I glanced at the piano. The boy was gone. It was as though he had vanished into thin air. I looked around the whole room, but he was nowhere in sight.

  The woman cleared her throat loudly, drawing my attention.

  “I–I had to go to the bathroom,” I stammered, saying the first thing that came to mind. “But I got lost.”

  The woman harrumphed. “Come, I’ll show you where the bathroom is, but then you must go straight back to your room.”

  I nodded and hurried across the room toward her. I reached for the large door, being that I was the last one out, but before I shut it, I stole one last glance around the room.

  The boy was nowhere to be found.

  SIX

  “SO, HOW WAS detention yesterday?” Lena asked, plopping down beside me at lunch the next day. I had gotten to Mr. Atherton’s Past Eras class a little late, so we didn’t have the time to talk before.

  I shrugged my shoulders and looked down at my grayish-colored, chunky potatoes. It really didn’t look appetizing. “It wasn’t the worst.”

  “Well, that’s good.” She uncapped the bottle to her apple juice and took a sip.

  I shrugged again. My head was clouded with other thoughts besides yesterday’s detention. Like thoughts about last night. What had happened? The boy couldn’t have just vanished.

  But where did he go then?

  “Hey, is that alright if I sit with you guys?” Lena and I both looked up and saw Jayden standing there, glancing between the two of us.

  “Of course!” Lena leaned over the table and patted the spot right across from me.

  “Thanks.” Jayden sat down.

  “Em, this is Jayden Hart.” Lena motioned to Jayden. “And Jayden, this is my friend Em Knightly.”

  I was quickly struck by the word “friend,” but then dismissed it. It was nice having a friend here. You certainly needed one to survive a place like this.

  “I know.” Jayden did that sexy half-smirk thing that he had done in detention the day before. “We met yesterday.”

  “Oh?” Lena’s eyes grew wide. She quickly glanced between me and Jayden.

  “We met in detention,” I told her.

  “Oh.” She relaxed in her seat and took another sip of her juice.

  “So,
how’s it going?” Jayden asked, turning his warm gaze to me. He used one hand to brush back his wild curls from falling into his face. “Second day going better than the first?”

  “Yeah, I guess.”

  “You guess?” He raised his scarred eyebrow.

  “I mean, I haven’t gotten a detention yet.”

  Jayden chuckled lightly, then turned down to his lunch.

  “I can’t believe the Autumn Ball is in twenty-one days,” Lena said, changing the topic. She looked at me and smiled. “Do you already have a dress?”

  “A dress?” I hadn’t even known there was a dance. I just got here!

  Lena nodded and started to undo the wrapper of her string cheese. “Yeah, the school has one every year in hopes to lighten up people’s moods.”

  “Not everyone goes to it,” Jayden added. He almost had all of his mashed potatoes eaten already. Somehow. I still had barely touched mine.

  “You mean, you don’t.” Lena pointed her fork accusingly at him. “But you will this year, won’t you?”

  He shrugged and peeked over at me. “That all depends.”

  Oh, boy.

  I could feel myself blushing. Quickly, I ducked my head and let some of my hair fall in front of my face, hoping to hide some of the redness.

  Please don’t let my face look like a tomato.

  “Well, we’ll definitely have to go dress shopping. Maybe my mom can sneak you off of school premises for an hour or two. I mean, depending on how bad your record is.” She turned suddenly to look at me. “You didn’t do anything really bad to get sent here, did you?”

  I shook my head as Nova’s words came floating back to me.

  “I know you’re one of the Crazies.”

  A smile slipped across her face and she turned back to her food.

  For the next fifteen minutes, Lena, Jayden, and I bounced from topic to topic, never sticking to anything for more than five minutes.

  Jayden was the first one to finish his lunch. Putting all of his scraps on his tray, he excused himself and left to throw it away.