Insanity

by Kira Moericke

  “Because I’m not like everyone else,” she replied.

  Well, that’s for sure.

  Nova stood up and dropped what was left of her cigarette on the ground, crushing it with the toe of her studded boots. She kicked it over the edge. Hopefully there wasn’t anyone sitting where Jayden and I had been just moments before.

  Lena said something, but it came out all mumbled. It made me realize that we still had to get her to bed.

  I peered around Lena’s head. “Jayden, we should probably get her inside.”

  “You’re right.” We started toward Brier Hall.

  “Wait!” Nova called out, surprising us. We stopped and turned our heads to look at her. “I’ll come with you guys. There’s nothing here for me anyway.”

  The four of us made our way to Brier Hall, slipping through the back door. We were silent as we stole through the darkness toward the staircase.

  “I had sooo much fun,” Lena said suddenly, her voice seeming amplified in the quietness that surrounded us. She turned her head toward me. “Did you have fun, Emma?”

  I leaned away from her. I could smell the alcohol on her breath. It smelled rank.

  “Lena, you have to be quiet,” I whispered. Swiveling my head around, I looked to see if we had disturbed anyone. It didn’t look like we had. I let out a silent rush of air between my lips.

  “Whoops!” She giggled. “Sorry,” she whisper-shouted.

  I rolled my eyes and looked around again. We started up the stairs to the second floor where all of the rooms were.

  “Going somewhere?”

  I gasped out of fright.

  “Shit!” Nova shouted.

  “What the–” Jayden started.

  “Shhh!” Lena hissed.

  We all turned around and saw a figure standing just outside of one of the rooms, a flashlight in her hand. She shined it in each of our faces, making us squint. “What do the four of you think you are doing?”

  “Uh…” Jayden glanced at me with wide eyes, asking silently for help.

  “We were just…” I tried, but couldn’t finish.

  “We were just taking a walk,” Nova said. Her voice didn’t sound high-pitched or shaky. Her voice stayed steady as she lied.

  “A walk?” The woman came closer, and I could see that it was the same woman who had busted me Wednesday night when I had wandered into the ballroom.

  Why does she always seem to appear when I’m out in the halls after nine o’clock?

  The teacher came close and frowned. “Alcohol and cigarettes.” She made a sound of disapproval. “You all should be expelled.”

  “But–” I started.

  “No buts, Miss Knightley,” the teacher snapped. She sighed and switched the flashlight from one hand to the other. “Though, due to the low enrollment numbers, we can’t afford to lose any students, so instead, you all have detention.”

  “You’ve got to be kidding me,” Nova scoffed. She suddenly had her prickly demeanor back.

  “No, I am not kidding, Miss Byron.” She glanced at each and every one of us. “You all will have detention next Saturday. I’m sure that Principal Zastrow still needs the attic cleaned. I want you all to meet me outside of my room at eight a.m. sharp.” She stared at Nova with cold eyes, as if passing a silent message to her. “Now, I want you all to go back to your rooms and stay there for the rest of the night.”

  “Yes, serido, ma’am,” Lena slurred. She gave the teacher a sloppy salute.

  “And please make sure that Miss Bourgeois gets back to her room safely,” the teacher added. Then she started back down the hall toward the room that she had emerged from.

  When it was only the four of us left in the hall, I let out a stream of air between my lips. I couldn’t believe I got another detention in less than a week!

  “Well, I’m getting out of here,” Nova announced. She started down the hall in the opposite direction of our room.

  “Aren’t you going back to the room?” I called after her.

  “Hell no.”

  I sighed. Of course she wouldn’t.

  “I’ll help you get Lena back to her room,” Jayden said, snapping my attention to him. I looked away from the direction that Nova had gone and turned to look at him through the dimness.

  I gave him a small smile. “Thanks.”

  I could barely see Jayden smile lightly back at me.

  We were silent as we wandered through the dim hallway.

  “So, Lena,” Jayden started, “what’s your room number?”

  “256,” she slurred. She hiccupped then giggled. “Whoops.”

  “So, bummer that we have detention,” Jayden said, ignoring Lena. He looked around her toward me.

  “I can’t believe that this is my second one in less than a week,” I said as we shuffled down the hall. “I mean, I had never gotten a detention before I came here.”

  “Never?” Jayden raised his scarred brow.

  I shook my head. “Nope.”

  “Let me guess, you were a cheerleader with the running for prom court, meaning you had to keep a squeaky clean image?”

  I almost burst out laughing. He couldn’t have been more further from the truth. “You are way off.”

  “Oh yeah?” I could hear the smile in his voice. “Then tell me, who were you before you came here.”

  “Well, I certainly wasn’t a cheerleader.”

  “A jock then?”

  I shook my head. “Actually, I was more into the Arts.”

  “Music or craft?”

  “Dance, actually,” I replied. “It was one of the classes offered at my school.”

  “Sweet. So what kind of dancing do you do?” Jayden asked.

  “Ballroom,” I replied. Then said, “And I was never in the running for prom court, let alone any court.”

  Jayden laughed a hearty sound as we continued to make our way down the halls.

  “Now let me guess for you,” I said.

  “Go right ahead.”

  “Hmm…You were popular. I can tell by your confidence. And I’m assuming by your leanness that you were an athlete.”

  “My leanness?” Jayden chuckled.

  I could feel my face heat up in embarrassment. I was thankful that it was dark and that he couldn’t see my face properly. “You know what I mean.”

  He chuckled again.

  We talked about other things as we made our way to Lena’s room, such as our families and friends back home, and what our favorite past memory was. All too shortly, we arrived upon Lena’s room.

  Standing in front of the door, I reached for the small doorknob and twisted. It was locked.

  “Do you have a key?” I asked Lena, who was starting to nod off.

  “Key?”

  “Yes, a key. To unlock your door.”

  Lena lifted an arm and fished inside her dress. When she pulled her hand out, she produced a small brass key that was similar to the one I wore around my neck.

  I took the key from her and unlocked the door, hearing the soft, satisfying click. Jayden pushed open the door, and together, we carried Lena over to her bed.

  “What a wild night,” Lena said as we laid her down on her bed. She sagged down onto her mattress. “Did you have fun, Em?”

  “Sure.” I really hadn’t.

  “Good.” Lena laid her head back and closed her eyes.

  “We should probably go,” Jayden said, slowly making his way to the door.

  “You can go,” I told him. I threw a glance at him. “I just want to make sure she’s is alright.”

  Jayden smiled sweetly. “Goodnight, Em.” Then he disappeared.

  Alone in the room with only Lena, I sighed. This had been a long night, but the time I had spent with Jayden seemed to fly by. It was nice having someone I could be myself around. Someone who shared the same feelings that I had. Someone to joke around with.

  Lena made a grunting noise, pulling my attention back to her. I looked down at her to find her face all scrunched up as if she we
re in pain.

  “Lena? Lena, are you alright?” I stepped closer to her in case she needed me.

  All of a sudden, Lena snapped her eyes open. They were wide and wild looking. They darted around but stopped when they fell on me. She motioned with her finger for me to come closer. Carefully, I did.

  “Are you okay?” I asked her, my voice hovering right above a whisper.

  Lena didn’t reply. Instead, all she did was stare at me. It gave me the chills. Then she spoke. “Do you believe in ghosts?”

  Fuck this, I thought, quickly backing away. She got herself into this mess, she can get herself out of it. Turning my back on her, I hurried out of the room.

  ***

  I had planned on going straight to my room, but my feet compelled me to go a different direction, and I soon found myself standing in front of the doors that led to the ballroom. Looking around to make sure that there was no one near, I pushed open the doors and slipped inside.

  Like the other night, the room was dark and eerily quiet. I gently closed the doors behind me, then walked toward the center of the room so that I stood right beneath the silver chandelier. I moved in a slow circle, searching the shadows in case the boy appeared again. I wanted to know where he had disappeared to the other night. Besides, I didn’t even catch his name.

  “Hello.”

  I whirled around at the sudden voice, and saw him standing near the window, his back facing me. And like the other night, there was a faint glimmer surrounding him.

  “It’s you,” I breathed. I took a step toward him, then quickly stepped back.

  The boy turned his head to look at me and smiled.

  Wow. His smile was beautiful. It was bold and bright and sincere.

  Get ahold of yourself, Em! I scolded myself.

  “So you decided to come back,” the boy said. He moved away from the window and came toward me.

  I nodded. “I was hoping that you’d be here.”

  “Oh?” He raised an eyebrow in amusement.

  “I mean…” I buried my face in my hands, completely embarrassed. That did not come out right. I raised my eyes to look back at him. “I mean, I was hoping that you’d be here because I didn’t catch your name last time.”

  “Oh.” His face relaxed and he smiled kindly at me. “You can call me…Casey.”

  “Casey.” I nodded once. I stuck out my hand toward him and told him, “You can call me Em. Em Knightley.”

  “It is a pleasure to meet you, Em.” Before I could react, Casey grabbed my hand and gently kissed the back of it. A sudden flash of the vision I had in Mr. Atherton’s class came back to me so hard that I stumbled back a step. Casey didn’t seem to notice my sudden surprise. “Is that short for something?”

  “Yeah, it’s short for Emma,” I replied.

  “Emma.” My name floated off of his lips. It gave me chills.

  “So,” I started, trying to suppress a shiver, “I haven’t seen you around here at all besides that other night.”

  “That is because I do not go here,” Casey replied.

  I frowned, confused. “Are you a teacher?”

  He chuckled, a sound that sounded like music. “No, I am not a teacher.”

  “Then why are you here?” If he wasn’t a student or a teacher, then what was he doing here? It certainly was not the first place I’d choose to be.

  “This was my great grandfather’s house,” he replied. “Which was left to me.”

  “So Brier Hall is yours?”

  He nodded.

  “Then why is it being used as a place for troubled teens?” I asked.

  “Troubled teens?” His face twisted into confusion.

  “Yeah,” I said slowly. “Didn’t you know that?”

  “I thought it was just a private school,” he replied, the look of confusion still on his face.

  How does an owner of one place not know what it’s being used for? I thought. There was something strange about Casey, but I couldn’t put a finger on what it was.

  “So, you’re here,” Casey said, interrupting my thoughts. “Does that mean that you are troubled?”

  “I…” I couldn’t finish.

  “Forgive me. I should not have asked that. It was very discourteous of me.” He bowed.

  “I have nightmares,” I blurted. I didn’t know what compelled me to reveal my secret. It just came out like word vomit.

  Casey straightened and looked at me. “What night-mares?”

  A large part of me told me to shut up and walk away, but another part of me told me that it was okay. Okay to trust in Casey. Okay to spill the darkness that invaded my subconscious. Okay to be myself.

  “I have the same nightmare over and over every night,” I replied

  Casey didn’t say anything. All he did was stare at me, waiting for me to continue.

  I looked past him toward the window, seeing nothing but darkness outside. “It’s the same thing every night. I’m standing on a cliff. It’s raining and thundering. I’m afraid. I can’t move on my own. It’s like I’m under a spell of some sort.” I start to lose myself in the memory of my nightmare. “I’m walking toward an edge of a cliff. I can’t stop myself. I can’t scream. I can’t…I can’t do anything.

  “And then there is this boy. He tells me to stop and to go back into the building with him. But I can’t. I can see the fear in his eyes, and it breaks my heart because I can’t do anything to save myself. And then it happens. I let myself fall backwards, and on the way down, all I hear is the boy’s painful cry.” Tears formed in my eyes. I quickly blinked them away and focused back on Casey.

  “I have to go,” Casey said abruptly. He turned around and started toward the darker part of the room.

  “Wait, what?” Why was he leaving? Did he think I was crazy?

  He probably thinks you’re a nut, the voice inside my head said. You just scared him off with your freaky nightmare.

  “Please don’t go!” I called after him. He was several yards away from me now.

  He spun around to look at me. I could see the shininess of unshed tears lingering in his eyes. Was he crying?

  “I am sorry, Em,” he said. “But I must go.” Then he turned and started forward, disappearing into the darkness.

  EIGHT

  “HONEY! I’M SO glad that you called! I’ve missed you so much. How is it going there? Did you visit Dr. Langley? Did he give you anything for your nightmares? Do they work?”

  “Mom, please,” I said, sighing. What was this: Twenty Questions? “One question at a time.”

  “You’re right. I’m sorry.” She sucked in a giant breath from her end of the line. “How is everything there?”

  “Okay, I guess,” I replied.

  “Did you visit Dr. Langley?” she asked next.

  “Yes, Mom.” I rolled my eyes, glad she couldn’t see me at the moment.

  “And did he give you some kind of medication? Do they work?”

  “Yes, he gave me medication, but…” I hesitated. How was I supposed to tell her that the medication was making me see things?

  “But what, Em? Do they or do they not work?” I could hear the worry starting to trickle in her voice.

  “Well…I didn’t have any nightmares,” I started.

  “Well, that’s good!”

  “But,” I added, “I couldn’t sleep at all. And…and they have a side effect.”

  “A side effect? What kind of side effect?” she asked.

  “They make me see things,” I replied sheepishly. I suddenly felt ashamed, and I didn’t have the slightest idea why.

  “What did you see?”

  I opened my mouth to reply, but the bedroom door burst open and Nova entered. She slammed the door close and dropped down onto her bed with an exasperated sigh.

  “What’s up, New Girl?” she greeted.

  “Mom, I have to go,” I said, lowering my voice. I didn’t want to talk about what I had seen in front of Nova. She already knew there was something wrong with me, I didn’t ne
ed her thinking I was delusional, too.

  “Okay, but call me whenever you have a chance,” Mom said.

  “I will.”

  “I love you.”

  I sighed. “Love you, too, Mom.”

  Then I hung up.

  “You still got your phone?” Nova turned to look at me, raising her pierced eyebrow.

  I looked down at the small device that I had in my hand, remembering enrolling as soon as I had arrived at Brier Hall. We were supposed to hand in all of our electronic devices so that we could focus on “changing for the better.” But I had been expecting this–being that this place was practically a juvenile detention facility, just without the guards and barbed wire fences–and had given them my old phone that was no longer in service.

  “It’s cool,” Nova said. “I still have my iPod.” She wagged it at me.

  “You didn’t want to keep your phone instead?” I asked. I got up from where I had been sitting on my bed and slipped my phone back into my desk drawer.

  “Don’t have one.”

  I turned to look at her with my eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “You don’t have a phone?”

  “Nope.” She shook her head, barely disturbing her short, spunky hair. She propped her pillow up against her headboard and settled against it. “There’s no one I want to call.”

  “Not even your parents?” As soon as the words fell out of my mouth, I instantly regretted it. I remembered what Lena had told me about Nova’s parents.

  “Especially my parents,” she growled. Then before I could ask her anything else, she plugged her earbuds into her ears and closed her eyes, drifting off into her own little world.

  I pressed my lips together into a tight line, not knowing what to do. I stood there next to my desk for a moment, then looked down. Jayden’s jacket hung on the back of the chair. I had forgotten to give it back to him last night. Grabbing it, I started for the door.

  “I’m heading out,” I said to Nova, though I was sure she didn’t hear me. Throwing one last look at her, I closed the door behind me.

  ***

  I didn’t realize until I was already away from my room that I didn’t know where Jayden’s room was. I stopped and looked around me, hoping that there would be someone around that I could ask, but I was the only one out in the hall. Everyone else must be recovering from hangovers or just hiding away in their rooms.