Shifting Tides

by Caitlin Ricci

  “Hey, some of these folks are college kids,” Seth said. “I know most of these hot girls are too hot for high school.”

  “The college does start classes next week,” Blaine said. “Yeah, I bet that’s it. More for the college crowd than ours.”

  They turned the corner and spotted the box office. Unlike the rest of the mall, there weren’t that many people around there.

  “There’s Heidi.” Adam grabbed hold of Blaine’s hand and gripped it tight. “Do I look okay?”

  “You look fine.” Blaine gave him a warm smile.

  “Thanks.” Adam’s return smile wasn’t as bright, closer to a grim line than a smile. “Okay, here we go. Hey, Heidi!” Adam called out and waved his free hand.

  A statuesque blonde turned toward them. She stared for a second, then grinned. “Adam… Wow!” She closed the short distance between them and hugged Adam. When they separated, she walked around Adam with a critical eye. “I was right—you make a down right cute boy. I’m impressed.”

  Adam swallowed and blushed. It was really adorable. The look brought a soft smile to Blaine. He thought Adam was cute, so it was nice to hear someone else did too.

  “Th-th-thanks.” Adam stuttered and for a second he let his voice rise even though they’d been practicing him speaking deeper.

  Heidi stopped assessing Adam and looked at Seth and Blaine. “And who are these two? You told me you were bringing your cousin and boyfriend, but you didn’t tell me they were so hot. You know, if I didn’t like getting my hair done and having boobs so much, I might try being trans so I can hang out with hot guys.”

  Blaine frowned at her for a moment as Adam tensed. “It’s not something you can choose.”

  She took Adam’s other arm. “Oh, I know that. I’m being silly. That’s one of the nice things about being a girl—you can be silly sometimes and when you’re a blonde, you get away with it because people are more interested in your hair and boobs.”

  Seth blinked at her and looked up into her face. “What were you just saying?”

  With a demonstrative gesture, Heidi beamed. “And then he makes my point. You must be Seth, since you aren’t holding Adam’s hand.”

  “Yeah. That would be me.” Seth blinked again, as if trying to come to terms with how pretty Heidi was. Blaine had seen him go into complete drooling zombie mode before when there was an attractive girl around, but never to this extent.

  Heidi hooked her other arm in Seth’s. “Well then, come along and we’ll go get our seats.” She glanced around Adam. “By deduction, you must be Blaine. Sorry we got off on the wrong foot. Can you forgive me for just being a silly blonde girl?” She shook her long luxurious hair and grinned at him. It improved his opinion of her.

  “I’ll forgive you, for Adam.” Blaine squared his shoulders and walked with them to the box office. Having known Angela, he was surprised how like one of the popular girls Heidi seemed. It didn’t fit. Maybe there was more to Adam in school than he’d realized, just being around on special occasions. It gave him hope that Adam would find it easy to fit in at school, if he was already used to dealing with the popular sharks that infested the classroom waters.

  * * * *

  “You are going to be able to come back to our old side of town from time to time, aren’t you?” Heidi asked as they settled down for some food court pizza after the movie. “If you don’t bring Blaine or Seth, we can pretend to be dating. It’ll make those jocks on the football team totally jealous.”

  Adam laughed hard enough that Coke shot out of his nose. He moaned softly and grabbed a napkin. After he wiped his face, he looked up at her. “I don’t know about the making the jocks jealous.”

  Heidi patted Seth’s arm. “Then you’ll have to come with me. We’d make quite the couple.”

  Seth still had a smitten look. He hadn’t gotten to the drooling state but so far he’d also managed to keep his end of the conversation to single lines of clipped, nervous dialogue, somehow not coming across as a complete idiot. “You think?”

  “Yeah, I do.” Heidi sipped her soda. “So, Adam, is it okay if I let folks know about your change? You know people are going to want to know what happened to you when school starts back up in a couple of weeks.”

  For a moment Adam looked uncomfortable. “Could you be selective? I’m really not up for much negativity right now. Especially with what Mom and Dad did.”

  Heidi flipped her long hair. “You know that I’m the soul of discretion. I still can’t believe your folks did that. Your mom always seemed so supportive in everything you did.”

  “As long as I was doing what she wanted.” Adam wadded up the napkin that sat in his empty pizza plate. “We could have some major fights if I didn’t want to do what she wanted me to. But I never figured they’d abandon me for being who I really am.”

  “And who you are is fabulous.” A thoughtful look crossed Heidi’s classic features. “Hey, I can use that word a lot more now that my bff is a gay boy.”

  Blaine wanted to scratch his head in an effort to figure Heidi out. At times she seemed so together, really caring and on top of things. Kinda smart. Then she’d flip and be a classic blonde girl, flighty and a bit of an airhead.

  Seth’s phone rang with the tone Blaine recognized as for Seth’s mother. He answered it. “Okay, we’re on our way.” He slipped the phone back in his short’s pocket. “Mom’s pulling into the parking lot. She doesn’t want to try to find a parking spot, so we need to go.”

  A soft pout appeared on Heidi’s lips. “I’m sorry you guys have to run off so soon. It’s been a great afternoon.” She stood and walked around the table to hug Adam. “You look great and I think you’re so brave being who you really are. Keep it up and you’re going to be the poster boy for being trans.”

  Adam hugged her back. “Thanks. Do you need a ride home? I bet Aunt Amy wouldn’t mind.”

  Heidi shook her head. “Nah, my brother works in the Sports Authority on the other end of the mall. He gets off at six. I can stick around and scope out the cute college guys until then.” She glanced from Seth to Blaine. “But they’re going to have a hard time competing with these two you brought along.” She held out her hand to Blaine. “It was nice meeting you, Blaine. You treat Adam right, or you’ll have me and a bunch of angry cheerleaders to deal with.”

  Heat rose in Blaine’s face as he returned her shake. “I’ll do my best. It was nice meeting you too.”

  When she turned to Seth, there was an almost predatory look in her green eyes. “And you. I guess I’ll see you around Adam’s new place. You keep being nice to him too, or the same threat holds, although I think you might like to be jumped by the whole squad.”

  For a second Seth looked nervous as he took her hand. “I’ll be good.”

  “You guys get.” She pointed down the mall toward the door they’d come in. “You don’t want to keep your aunt waiting.”

  “Then we’ll see you around,” Adam said.

  “Definitely. You studs all have fun now.” Heidi waved at them as they started out the food court. The crowd quickly closed around her and she vanished from view.

  “She’s interesting,” Blaine said.

  “That’s one way to describe her,” Adam said, his voice full of confidence and happiness.

  “Hot is another way to describe her,” Seth said, putting together a complete sentence for the first time in over three hours. “We’ve got to go out with her again.”

  “We’ll see,” Adam replied. “But I think you made a decent first impression on her.”

  Blaine laughed as they spotted the exit they were looking for. “At least he didn’t drool on her. And he didn’t say anything stupid. That’s a first, I think, or at the very least a record time for Seth to go without saying something idiotic.”

  Seth took a couple of quick steps to carry him in front of them and turned to glare at Blaine. “Why are you always down on me lately? It seems that I can’t do anything without you calling me an asshole or an idiot.
I’m really not.”

  Blaine couldn’t remember the last time Seth had really cared what he or anyone else thought of him. “Why is this an issue now?”

  His shoulders relaxed and Seth frowned. “Everyone’s being so supportive of Adam.” He glanced at Adam. “Not that you don’t need support right now, cuz, that’s not what I’m saying. It’s just everyone saying I’m an idiot or an asshole. Maybe it’s not who I want to be anymore. If you guys would stop calling me that, I can be different. I want to be better.”

  “Is this about Heidi?” Blaine gestured for them to keep walking. He didn’t want Seth’s mom to wait too long and get pissed.

  “A little bit.” Seth fell into step with them. “With Adam going through all these changes, I’ve been thinking. Maybe I need to change who I am. I realize Adam doesn’t have a real choice, beyond happy and unhappy, but I do have a choice in who I am. I want to be a nicer guy. Maybe I can find a hot girl like Heidi who wants to be with me for being me as opposed to this facade that I throw out because I think that’s what the world expects of me. Does that make sense?”

  They made it out the exterior mall doors and Adam beamed at Seth. “It does make sense. I think it’s great that you want to do better than you have been. I’ll help all I can, but I have to honest. I’ve been thinking of you as an idiot for years, so it may take time.”

  Seth nodded and looked out across the parking lot. “I understand. I still catch myself starting to refer to you as Angela from time to time, but I stop myself. I realize that idiot is a shorter word than Angela, but if you could stop, that would be great.”

  “I’ll do my best.”

  Blaine stared at Seth. In all the years they’d known each other, he’d never known Seth to show the emotions he was right then. “I’ll try too. Dude, it’s going to be hard for us. We’ve got years to undo.”

  “Right. And maybe between the two of you, you can help me be a better guy.” Seth pointed toward an incoming car. “There’s Mom. Let’s keep this quiet from her and see if she notices the changes I’m going to try and have.”

  “Deal.” Blaine nodded his agreement.

  “Anything I can do to help you.” Adam grinned like a fool. “So do you think I could really be a trans poster boy?”

  “Let’s spend a few months buffing you up, and anything’s possible.” Seth stepped off the curb as his mother pulled up and stopped so they could all get in.

  As Blaine settled into the back seat with Adam at his side, he realized that if Seth was ready to stop being an asshole, anything really was possible. All they had to do was try to find a focus.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Adam was officially sure lawyers sucked. He never wanted to be around another one ever again in his life. And he hadn’t even been in the same room as Aunt Amy, Uncle John and his parents while they’d been arguing. When his parents had come out of the office, they hadn’t even looked at him sitting there between Seth and Blaine, with Blaine’s arm around his shoulders. He’d tried to get them to acknowledge him, but they hadn’t glanced down at him. Not even once. And after a few seconds of trying to silently get their attention with little hand motions, Adam had given up. His pride wouldn’t let him stand up and beg for their attention. After being with Aunt Amy and Uncle John, he’d begun to understand what unconditional love was and he knew that he deserved it in his life.

  Blaine hugged him close and as the elevator door closed on them, Adam pressed his face against Blaine’s shoulder. He was a boy and couldn’t cry all the time anymore. That’s what Seth said. But crying was the only thing that felt right in that moment and within seconds he found himself on Blaine’s lap, wrapped up in his arms, as he sobbed into Blaine’s T-shirt.

  “Well,” Uncle John said as he and Aunt Amy came out of the office too, “I guess it’s done then. Anyone up for ice cream?”

  Adam barely stopped crying as they all walked back to Uncle John’s car. When he was done sobbing, and his tears had become only little sniffles, he noticed Aunt Amy was crying too.

  “I can’t believe someone as sweet as you came from those two.” She reached back to take Adam’s hand while Uncle John started the car. “And we always did want another kid. Now it’s official.”

  Adam nodded and gave her hand a squeeze. He wanted to ask if his parents had argued at all about it. If they’d fought to have him. If they’d cared. But he knew better than that. They’d probably given him away easily. They’d probably been glad to be done with him.

  “Your phone won’t work anymore, but I’ve already ordered you a new one and you’re on our plan now. It should be here within a few days at the latest,” Aunt Amy continued.

  “Thank you,” Adam managed to squeak out. Blaine leaned over and kissed his temple, making Adam smile for the first time since his aunt and uncle had said it was the day they were going to meet with the lawyer and his parents to talk about custody.

  But Aunt Amy wasn’t done yet. “And your dentist and doctor have to be changed over to our insurance now that we’re all official. I’ve already looked online for professionals who are good with trans kids. There’s a whole forum full of state by state resources. We’ll pick one out together. Or you can if you feel more comfortable choosing them yourself. Whatever you’d like to do.”

  Adam’s head was spinning. “Uh…” All of a sudden there was too much information coming at him all at once. He wanted time to catch his breath before the next ball came at his head.

  Seth came to his rescue. “Jeez, Mom, give it a break. He’s all messed up right now. So much crying. Any more and he’ll have a meltdown.”

  Adam reached over and gave Seth’s arm a squeeze to thank him.

  “Dude, we don’t do that,” Seth said, but he smiled over at Adam and squeezed his hand back before shaking Adam’s hand off his. “So tell me about this chick Heidi. She was cute. She single? Has she mentioned me at all since we all went out to the movies together?”

  Beside him, Blaine groaned loudly. “Seriously? You’re such a moron when it comes to girls.”

  Seth looked like he had no idea what he’d done wrong, but he had succeeded in making Adam smile for a little bit. “Okay, so…she doesn’t think you’re a repulsive guy.” That was a far cry from the enthusiastic text messages Heidi had sent him after the movie date but he figured Seth’s head was already big enough without knowing exactly what she’d said about him. “I’ll text you her number. Then you can see if she likes you all on your own.”

  Laughing, Seth grinned over at him. “Then as soon as one of us gets a car, we can double date.”

  “That’s a great idea. I much prefer that to you dating all alone,” Uncle John spoke up from the driver’s seat. Then he dropped his voice and mumbled, “Much less chance of me being a grandparent before I’m fifty that way.” Aunt Amy laughed and rubbed him on his shoulder and Adam leaned into Blaine’s side. They weren’t the family he’d started with, but he knew he couldn’t have designed better if he’d been able to put them together himself.

  “Huh, the shelter is having a sale for the summer,” Blaine said idly as they drove past the pet shelter that was two blocks away from Aunt Amy’s favorite ice cream shop.

  “Oh! Let’s stop!” Aunt Amy said, suddenly clutching at Uncle John’s arm. “Everyone okay with delaying ice cream in favor of getting a puppy?”

  Uncle John looked horrified. “I never said that we were getting a puppy. Amy, that’s not what I agreed to. I already housetrained the last one. I’m not doing it again. We said a dog. Not a puppy.” But he was already pulling over and driving into the small parking of the county shelter.

  Adam took Blaine’s hand as Uncle John stopped the car and they all got out of it. The shelter was pretty much the highlight of Adam’s day. He was happy to be part of Seth’s family now, but that didn’t ease the pain in his heart as he thought of the family he’d lost to get the one he had now. He figured it would get easier in time, just like the greeting cards always said. But right now it sucked so h
ard he was having trouble just standing, despite Blaine practically holding him up.

  “Do we all want to look at the dogs or do we want to split up for a while?” Aunt Amy asked them.

  Seth looked slightly put off by that suggestion. “Um… I was kind of hoping that…” For the first time in years, that Adam could remember anyway, Seth looked unsure of himself. “Since Winter was my dog…”

  Adam got what he was trying to say. “You should pick out your next dog. I’m going to go check out the ferrets.”

  Blaine chuckled and pulled him along toward the opposite side of the shelter while his Aunt Amy and Uncle John found a place to sit. They looked just fine with Seth going through the dogs on his own. And he didn’t look like he really wanted company anyway. “Is Seth going to be okay?” Adam asked Blaine once they were away from the others.

  Blaine shrugged and leaned against the brick wall while Adam peered in at the long, slender ferrets as they lay sleeping in felt hammocks. “Losing Winter hurt him a lot. He always did prefer her to people.”

  “That settles it then.” Adam couldn’t very well leave Seth alone to find his next dog when Winter had meant that much to him. He pushed away from the ferrets and Blaine followed along behind him, taking his hand again instantly. Aunt Amy and Uncle John were talking to some volunteers as Blaine and Adam went into the dog kennels. They found Seth kneeling in front of a Lab puppy but he didn’t look happy being there.

  Adam crouched down next to him and wrapped his arms around Seth’s shoulders. Blaine stood behind them. He expected Seth to shake him off, but Seth hardly moved. He was barely even breathing.

  “Seth?” Adam tried.

  “Winter was a Border Collie. He was so smart too. Like crazy, obsessively smart. But he was mostly black just like this little guy. And in this one’s bio it says he’s a problem solver and super intelligent. Am I ready to have another dog? I thought I was. I thought I was so prepared for that. But now I’m just like…”