The Tiger Mom's Tale

by Lyn Liao Butler

  Lexa and Mommy were leaving the next day for somewhere far away, and they weren’t taking Maddie with them. She had to stay home with Daddy.

  “Lexa, why are you going away? I want to come.”

  Lexa looked over her shoulder. “We told you already. I’m going to meet my father.”

  “Daddy’s your father.”

  “Maddie.” Lexa blew her hair out of her face in exasperation and turned to face her sister. “Daddy is my dad, but I have another father, my real one.” Lexa jiggled from one foot to another, looking nervous, like she had when Daddy was teaching her how to swim.

  Maddie walked to her sister’s side. “I want to go with you.” She reached out and wound a hand through Lexa’s long black hair. Lexa always let her play with it. Maddie loved Lexa’s hair, because it was so straight and soft and so much darker than her own blond curls.

  But that day, Lexa pulled her hair out of Maddie’s hand. “You can’t. You’re too little. And I’m finally meeting my father. I’m so excited.”

  Maddie’s bottom lip quivered. “I’m not too little. I’m almost four.”

  “That’s too little.” Lexa puffed out her chest with pride. “Mommy said it’s my eighth birthday present. I’m finally old enough to go all that way to meet him.”

  “Oh.” Maddie looked down and caught sight of her sister’s favorite pink sundress, the one with strawberries on the pockets, lying on the floor. “You’re taking that dress?”

  “Yes. I hope he likes it.” Lexa picked it up and folded it carefully before tucking it into a corner of the suitcase. Maddie wasn’t allowed to touch the dress “for any reason at all!” This must be a big deal if Lexa was taking it with her. Then Maddie noticed something else.

  “What’s that?” Maddie pointed to a bunny that looked exactly like her NoNo.

  “I got it for Hsu-Ling. You love your bunny so much I thought she’d like one too.”

  “Sue who?” Maddie asked.

  “My other little sister. Her name is pronounced ‘Sue-ling.’”

  “I’m your sister!” Maddie stamped her foot and pulled the bunny out of the suitcase.

  “Give me that!” Lexa grabbed the stuffed animal out of Maddie’s hands and put it back in the suitcase. “You are my sister, but I have another one. A Taiwanese one.”

  Maddie stared at her in surprise. Lexa had always given in to her. Maddie waited for Lexa to say she was sorry. But Lexa ignored her. When she turned back to the dresser, Maddie grabbed the bunny again and ran down the stairs into the living room.

  She wedged herself and the two bunnies between the couch and the wall. There was just enough space for a small girl to hide. She would leave the new bunny here. She didn’t like that her big sister and Mommy were going away without her. She didn’t like that Lexa had another little sister, and she didn’t want her to have a bunny just like hers. She whispered in NoNo’s ears, reverting to baby talk, “Me no like it.”

  Taichung, Taiwan

  Almost eight thousand miles away, another little girl crawled as fast as she could out of her apartment and into the small courtyard at the front of their building. Her mama was on the phone, and Hsu-Ling took the opportunity to escape. She headed to the tree that grew next to the big red gate. Using the stool she kept at the bottom of the tree, she climbed into the low branches. She was almost four and a half now and could pull herself up with her arms.

  She could hear her mama’s voice in her head, Aiya! You’re going to kill yourself! Her mama wanted Hsu-Ling to wear her leg, but Hsu-Ling hated it. She’d be walking along fine, and then bam, she was on the floor. Mama always made a fuss, but Baba would wave her away and tell her to stop hovering.

  The red gate opened, and she held still as her baba and his best friend, Pong, walked into the courtyard. Their building was on a quiet side street, but she could hear the roar of traffic from the busy section of the city in the distance when they opened the metal gate. She giggled.

  They heard her and looked up. “Hey, little monkey.” Her baba spoke in Taiwanese instead of Mandarin. “What are you doing up in that tree again? Your mama will have a heart attack if she sees you.”

  He walked over, and she launched herself at him, causing him to grunt as he caught her.

  “What did you bring for me?” she asked.

  “Your favorite—tian bu la.” Pong handed her a paper cup filled with fish paste that had been molded into balls and other shapes, deep-fried, and smothered in a brown sauce.

  Hsu-Ling’s eyes lit up, and she used her fingers to pop a piece into her mouth.

  “What do you say?” her baba chided, taking the paper cup from her and handing it back to Pong. “Let’s save the rest for dinner, huh?”

  She swallowed and said, “Xie xie, Uncle Pong.”

  Pong held up a white box. “Let’s get this inside before the icing melts.”

  “Oooh, the cake with the fresh cream and fruit? For my sister’s birthday?” Hsu-Ling asked.

  Uncle Pong nodded. “In honor of your American sister coming tomorrow.”

  Hsu-Ling clapped her hands. “I can’t wait to meet my jie jie.” She’d been hearing about her older sister who lived in America all her life.

  “We’ll have to speak only Mandarin when she’s here, since she doesn’t understand Taiwanese,” her baba said.

  “All right.”

  Baba carried her to their front door. He called up the stairs, “Ma! Ba! I’m home. Come down for dinner when you’re ready.”

  “Hao!” Hsu-Ling’s ah-ma called down in answer. All of Baba’s family lived in this building. Baba’s parents were on the second floor (and often left their front door open), and his younger sister and brother lived with their families on the third and fourth floors. They gave the ground floor to Hsu-Ling’s family because of her leg.

  Baba put Hsu-Ling down in the foyer to take off his shoes. He placed a hand for balance on the giant blue-and-white porcelain vase at the entrance that someone had given her parents as a wedding gift. Mama always complained it was too big, but Baba said he liked it.

  Hsu-Ling waited as the two men lined their shoes neatly in the foyer, and then she crawled with them into the apartment. Baba went first to the small shrine in their living room. He didn’t light an incense stick; instead, he brought his hands together in front of him and bowed three times to the photos of his grandparents and the statue of the goddess of mercy, Guan Yin.

  Pong greeted her mama, who was stirring dua mee gee on the stove. Hsu-Ling’s mouth watered at the aroma of the big noodles simmered in a thick soup with chives and roasted garlic that was a Taichung specialty. It was such a local dish it didn’t even have a name in Mandarin, only Taiwanese.

  “You’ll have to wear your leg when they’re here,” Mama said. Hsu-Ling looked up at her sharp tone.

  “She doesn’t have to wear it if it bothers her,” Baba said without turning away from the shrine. “They know about her leg.”

  Mama stopped stirring. “I don’t want them to treat her different.”

  “They won’t.” Baba blew out a breath in exasperation. “Why do you always point out her disability?”

  Hsu-Ling looked back and forth between her parents. She hated it when they fought about her.

  Pong stood at her mama’s side. “Our little one is beautiful with or without her leg. Right, xiao mei?” He called her little sister, the family’s nickname for her.

  She smiled at him but then looked at her baba, who was still standing in the living room. Why didn’t he greet Mama like Uncle Pong did? Why were her parents staring at each other like that, as if something smelled bad? She’d heard Baba and Mama whispering late the night before, their voices rising. What were they talking about?

  “Is everything ready for my American grandchild’s visit?” They all looked up as Ah-Ma walked into the apartment. She was a petite woman, small
er than Hsu-Ling’s mother, but she commanded any room she entered.

  Mama rushed out of the kitchen to Ah-Ma’s side and guided her to a dining room chair.

  “Pin-Yen, is the spare room ready?” Ah-Ma shook off Pin-Yen’s hands with impatience and sat herself down.

  Mama’s mouth hardened, but she nodded her head.

  “Jing Tao, you picked up the birthday cake I ordered?”

  “Yes, Ma.”

  “Good.” Ah-Ma nodded in satisfaction. “I want everything to be perfect. Ah-Gong should be here soon. Pin-Yen, can you get the bowls ready?”

  “Yes, Ah-Ma.” Mama lowered her eyes and went back to the kitchen.

  Uncle Pong placed a hand at Mama’s waist and whispered something into her ear. She smiled as she ladled noodle soup into the bowls lined up on the counter. But her voice was stern when she turned to Hsu-Ling. “Go wash your hands. I know you’ve been climbing that tree.”

  Hsu-Ling hesitated, but when Baba walked into the kitchen and kissed Mama on the cheek, she relaxed. Everything was fine. There was nothing to worry about. They were finally going to welcome her American sister into the Chang family the next day.

  4

  Lexa had just finished with her six-thirty client, Jason, when she heard someone calling her name. She looked up to see her personal training manager, Bryson, hailing her from the edge of the stretch area, where he stood with a young Asian woman.

  “Lexa, come meet Christy Sung when you’re done. She’s looking for a trainer.”

  Jason sat up on the massage table and mopped his face with a towel. “We’re done. I can’t take any more.”

  Bryson grinned at Jason. “She made you beg for mercy again, huh?”

  Jason nodded. “Yup. And I’m not ashamed to admit it.” He was a big man, well over six feet tall, and weighed more than twice what Lexa did. “I don’t know what got into her, but she was brutal today.” He turned to Lexa. “See you next Monday night.”

  “Bye, Jason. Good work.”

  He limped toward the men’s locker room as Bryson handed Lexa the training request form. She glanced at it: twenty-three, healthy, no injuries, wanted to lose twenty pounds, preferred six thirty in the morning.

  “Christy, this is one of our trainers, Lexa Thomas. Lexa, Christy.”

  Christy peered at her from under her bangs. “I really want to lose weight, but my father doesn’t believe in personal trainers. He said if I had more self-control, I wouldn’t be this fat.”

  Lexa studied Christy, who was a little overweight but wasn’t fat. “He says that to you?”

  Christy nodded.

  Lexa clucked her tongue. “Asian fathers, huh? They think they’re being helpful.”

  Christy’s eyes widened. “Yes! That’s why I wanted an Asian woman for a trainer. I knew you’d understand.”

  “Oh, but I don’t know Asian fathers. I mean, I have one, but my dad is white.”

  Christy looked confused. “What?”

  “It’s . . . I have two fathers.”

  “Oh.” Her eyebrows rose, and Lexa realized she must think she had two fathers who were married to each other. “Are you Korean like me? Or maybe Japanese?” Christy asked.

  “I’m half-Taiwanese,” Lexa said. “But my mom thought I was half-Japanese at first.” Christy blinked at her. “She thought my father was Japanese. Actually, she met him in Thailand, but she was with Japanese people and . . .” She trailed off as Christy gaped at her.

  “Never mind.” Why was she telling a stranger something she’d only told her friend that morning? Lexa rubbed the side of her head. It’d been a long day.

  Bryson hid a smile and gestured to one of the floor trainers. “Jennifer, can you show Christy how to work the cardio machines while I talk to Lexa?” Once Jennifer led Christy to the cardio area, he turned to Lexa.

  “Can you take her? I know your schedule is full, but she really wants an Asian woman, and you’re the only one we have.” He smirked. “Plus, she needs you. Since you understand about strict Asian parents and all.”

  Lexa gave him a dirty look. “Yeah, I’ll take her.”

  When Jennifer brought Christy back, Lexa made an appointment with her for the next morning. After saying good-bye, Lexa headed for the front door. She was deep in thought about her upcoming phone call with Hsu-Ling and didn’t see her group fitness manager, Elise, until she ran into her.

  “Hey, sorry.” Lexa reached out to steady Elise. “You’re here late.” She’d known Elise for years, since Lexa had first started working at the gym. Elise was of Jamaican, Puerto Rican, and German descent and had the smoothest light brown skin, which Lexa envied.

  “I had to put in the summer schedule. I’m starving. Want to grab some Thai food?”

  Lexa hesitated. She was starving too, but she didn’t want to miss Hsu-Ling’s call. Yet on the other hand, she didn’t want to sit home by herself, obsessing about what had happened to her father. She looked at her phone and saw it was a quarter to eight. If she was quick, she could make it home in plenty of time for Hsu-Ling’s call.

  “Sure. Thai sounds perfect.” Her parents had met in Thailand. She was suddenly craving Thai food.

  * * *

  • • •

  When she got home from dinner, she saw she had just missed a FaceTime request. Shit. It was only a quarter after nine. Hsu-Ling wasn’t supposed to call until nine thirty.

  Lexa sent Hsu-Ling a message.

  Can you talk?

  Can’t. They just called a meeting. My first day back at work since Baba died. I’ll call you as soon as I’m done.

  Lexa poured herself a glass of water and placed it on the coffee table someone in her building had put out on the curb. The rustic wood was beat-up, but Lexa liked it, drawn to the chunky legs and the wide surface, which was perfect for all the books she piled on it. She clicked on the TV while she waited and sank onto the beige couch she’d rescued from her parents’ basement. Her Rottweiler, Zeus, jumped up next to her. He turned in a circle and settled down, pressing his body against hers and laying his giant head on her leg.

  She leaned down and gave him a kiss on the top of his head. Sure, he was probably ten times the size of the miniature dachshund she’d envisioned adopting two years earlier when she’d broken up with her last boyfriend. But she’d taken one look at the Rottweiler puppy in the shelter and knew that he was her dog.

  “It was love at first sight, wasn’t it, Zeus?” She took his head between her hands and nuzzled his nose. He licked her face in agreement when she scratched him behind the ears. “I haven’t seen Hsu-Ling since she was ten. Why’s she coming to New York?”

  Zeus cocked his head. She was positive he understood and even talked back. Right then, he was asking, “How do you feel about that?”

  “I feel like my past is about to come back and bite me in the ass.” She leaned down to hug him and gave a dry laugh. “Hsu-Ling and I don’t know each other. It’ll be weird to see her after all this time.”

  She and Hsu-Ling had bonded the first time they met, when Lexa was eight and Hsu-Ling four and a half. Even though Hsu-Ling hadn’t known English then, they’d understood each other with Lexa’s limited Mandarin. Lexa still remembered the way Hsu-Ling had grabbed her around the middle and wouldn’t let go when Lexa had to go back to New York. “Buyao zou.” Don’t go.

  But then that last summer happened and they’d lost each other. Even though they’d reconnected a few years later, it wasn’t the same.

  Lexa’s phone rang, and she grabbed it, accepting the FaceTime request.

  “What happened? How did Baba die?” Lexa asked as soon as Hsu-Ling’s image appeared.

  Hsu-Ling stared at her. “I don’t even know where to start. It’s not just Baba,” she said in near-perfect English. “Uncle Pong also died. The same day as Baba’s accident two days ago.”

 
Lexa sucked in a breath.

  “It was the lung cancer for Uncle Pong. It came back about a month ago, and the doctor said he only had a few weeks left. He was admitted to the ICU last week.” Hsu-Ling stopped and bit her bottom lip. Lexa’s mind raced, a jumble of images swimming before her eyes and a roaring sound inside her head. When Hsu-Ling spoke again, it took a few seconds for Lexa to clear her head enough to hear her. “He was having trouble breathing on his own, and the doctors wanted to put him on life support, on mechanical ventilation.”

  “That’s awful.”

  “Baba and I were with him when they told him. You know how close they were.” Lexa nodded. Pong was more than her father’s best friend. Her baba had loved him like a brother and would have stood by him no matter what. “After the doctor left, Pong told Baba he had something to tell him.”

  “What did he say?”

  “I don’t know. He could barely talk, and I didn’t catch most of it, but Baba did. Something about being in love with someone and how he’d lied. And that you didn’t take the necklace?”

  Lexa’s mouth opened when she heard that. No words came out, but it didn’t matter. Hsu-Ling wasn’t done.

  “Pong said some things about my mother and that you were just an innocent child. Said he didn’t want to lose face. He kept saying he was sorry. I don’t know what any of that means.” Hsu-Ling ran a hand over her face. “Then all these machines went off, and doctors and nurses rushed in and they made us leave his room.”

  “Oh, no.” Lexa laid a hand on Zeus’s back for support.

  Hsu-Ling took a breath. “Baba was so upset. We were standing outside Pong’s room, waiting to see what had happened, and he kept saying, ‘ChiChi, I’m so sorry.’ He said the two of us had to go to New York right away and find you, apologize to you.” She swallowed, and Lexa watched, fascinated at the way her throat moved.

  “Then what happened?” Lexa whispered.

  “He ran out of the hospital before I could stop him. I guess he wasn’t paying attention and drove his scooter down the wrong way on a street he’s been on a million times before.” Hsu-Ling’s eyes filled. “How could he do that? He knew those roads like the back of his hand!” Hsu-Ling’s face scrunched up as the tears overflowed. “He hit a car head-on and died at the scene.”