Lexa put a hand to her mouth and felt a tear trickle down her cheek.
Hsu-Ling wiped her own eyes. “I’m so sorry to be the one to tell you. And that it took me so long. There was so much going on, and then Uncle Pong died a couple of hours later.”
“On the same day.”
“Yes. I knew I needed to see you in person. Find out what’s going on. And also there’s Baba’s will . . .” Hsu-Ling stopped and dropped her face into her hands. “I can’t believe he’s gone.”
Lexa pressed her lips together, thinking about the father she barely knew. Her mom had forbidden her to go back and see him after that summer, and then she’d found Kung Fu and grown up and no longer cared. So why was her heart pounding so hard because her father had finally said the words she’d longed to hear for so long? ChiChi, I’m so sorry.
“Lexa?”
She looked up and realized she’d been quiet too long. She said the first thing that came to mind.
“I guess all that smoking finally caught up with Uncle Pong.”
5
June, Twenty-Eight Years Ago
Taichung, Taiwan
There was a flurry of excitement when Lexa and her mom arrived at her birth father’s home at last. She was overwhelmed by the amount of people crowding her father’s apartment; her father’s parents (her ah-ma and ah-gong!), aunts, uncles, cousins. She stood next to her mother, not saying much, as Ah-Ma studied her face. She said something in Taiwanese that Lexa couldn’t understand, but from the smile on Ah-Ma’s face, it must have been good.
Hsu-Ling threw her arms around Lexa and beamed up at her with a delighted smile. “My jie jie! You’re finally here!”
Lexa smiled at her younger half sister, even as she couldn’t believe she was really standing in front of her father, Chang Jing Tao, who was as handsome as a movie star. He was tall for an Asian man, probably just shy of six feet, with a square jaw and jet-black hair that was long in the front. They exchanged shy smiles until his wife, Pin-Yen, a stern-looking woman with a wary look in her eyes, finally cleared her throat loudly, forcing them to look away from each other.
Once everyone had had a chance to greet Lexa, her father shooed them all out of the apartment, except for Ah-Ma and Ah-Gong. Ah-Ma gestured to Pin-Yen, and Pin-Yen rushed to the kitchen and took out a beautiful cake, covered in white cream and decorated with luscious pieces of fruit.
Ah-Ma spoke in Taiwanese, and her father translated: “To welcome you to our family. And to celebrate your eighth birthday.”
Lexa stared in delight at the cake, her heart about to burst out of her chest. As Pin-Yen cut slices, she looked around at her new family and found Hsu-Ling studying her.
“You look so Taiwanese,” Hsu-Ling said. “I thought you’d look more American.”
Her father translated, and Lexa’s mom smiled. “I know. I always thought children take after their mother, but Lexa definitely looks more Taiwanese than she does like me.”
Lexa’s father laughed. “Ha! Guess my sperm very strong.” Pin-Yen, who spoke English, made a strangled noise, and Lexa’s mom had a coughing fit. Lexa looked suspiciously at her mom. It sounded like she was trying not to laugh.
“She’s not really Taiwanese though.” Pin-Yen spoke for the first time. “She’s half-white, so not Asian enough.”
An awkward silence followed. Pin-Yen had spoken in Mandarin, so Lexa wasn’t sure if she’d heard her right, and she knew her mom didn’t understand.
Her father cleared his throat. “My good friend Pong, he be here soon. He speak perfect English, will translate.” Lexa looked up at the name. Pong had been the one who’d helped her father write to her.
The group fell into stilted conversation, so when Pong arrived, it was as if a ray of light had entered the room. They all turned toward Pong like sunflowers toward the sun. He was a jolly man with a big laugh. Barrel-chested with a full head of shiny black hair, he was shorter than her father. He made Lexa think of an Asian Santa without the beard.
“Welcome, American sister,” Pong said, pulling her in for a brief hug. Her father hadn’t hugged her; he’d only patted her on the back and smiled when they first met. Lexa’s mom had told her it wasn’t an Asian custom to hug and kiss on greeting, like it was in America.
Pong had rented a van and took them sightseeing once her baba had helped his own mother and father back to their apartment. They went to Taichung Park (which Uncle Pong told them was the oldest park in Taichung) in the North District, to the hospital where her father worked as an X-ray technician and where Hsu-Ling met with the various members of her medical team for physical therapy and to get fitted for new prosthetics, and to Hsu-Ling’s school.
When they were at the park, Hsu-Ling tripped on her prosthetic leg and fell flat on her face. Lexa stared, horrified to see her sister sprawled facedown on the sidewalk. Just when she moved to help her, Hsu-Ling rolled to her side, laughing, and their baba pulled her up. Meanwhile, Hsu-Ling’s mother hovered, clucking her tongue and dabbing at Hsu-Ling’s hands and knees with a tissue.
“Stop it.” Hsu-Ling swatted away her mother’s hands. “I’m fine.” She studied her prosthetic, made of a soft white plastic, her round cheeks flushed from the exertion of walking. “I didn’t break it.” She smiled up at Lexa, and Lexa smiled back, even though she wasn’t sure what Hsu-Ling had said. Lexa had been going to Chinese school since she was five, but her Mandarin was basic at best.
Hsu-Ling fell many more times that afternoon, and Lexa was impressed by her determination. By the fifth fall, Lexa had gotten used to it and no longer reacted when her sister tripped.
They had a late lunch of niurou mien at a noodle shop. Lexa slurped up the noodles, savoring the braised beef and the broth flavored with star anise, five-spice, peppercorns, garlic, and ginger.
Her mom sat next to her on the rickety stool. “Good, huh?”
Lexa nodded, her mouth too full to speak.
“Don’t eat too much.” Hsu-Ling leaned around her mother to look at Lexa, her chin-length hair swinging around her face. “We’re going to the night market, and there’s so much good food!”
On the van ride to the night market, Lexa’s mom whispered in Lexa’s ear, “Is it just me, or does your father’s wife look like she’s about to have a heart attack, having me around?”
Lexa turned to look at Pin-Yen. The woman was always hovering around Hsu-Ling, fussing at her daughter. She’d barely spoken to Lexa or her mom all afternoon.
Lexa turned to her mom, her forehead creased. “You think she doesn’t like me?”
Her mom hugged an arm around her. “I think it’s me she doesn’t like.”
A half hour later, they stood at the FengJia University gate, the entrance of the FengJia Night Market. Pong had managed to wedge the van into a spot that Lexa was pretty sure wasn’t for parking. She looked dubiously at the back of the van, which was sticking out into traffic. But Pong just laughed and pulled out a cigarette, lighting up.
He’d taken only a few puffs when Hsu-Ling said in Mandarin, “No smoking, Uncle Pong!” She waved her hand in front of her nose. “Smoking is bad for you. People die from it!”
Uncle Pong laughed and put out his cigarette. “You’re the smoking police now, huh, xiao mei?” He gave Lexa a wink.
“Yes.” Hsu-Ling put her hands on her hips and almost toppled over. Her mom pulled open the stroller stashed in the back of the van and pointed to it.
“I’m not a baby. I’m four and a half!” Hsu-Ling stuck out her bottom lip in a pout.
“Sit. You’ve been on that leg all day.”
Hsu-Ling glared at her mom, but common sense won out, and she plopped into the stroller. “Fine. Let’s go!”
There were people everywhere, and both sides of the street were lined with food stalls; shops selling clothes, bags, and other knickknacks; and arcades where children darted in and out. A hum of
excitement hung in the air, and Lexa could make out the smell of barbecued meats mixed with aromas she wasn’t familiar with. One stall they passed had grilled squid stuck on a stick. Another stall featured giant vats of boiling water where different colored fish balls floated, ready to be scooped out and skewered.
Her father stopped at a stall and handed her what looked like a hot dog.
“This is a sausage, tucked into a rice sausage.” He pointed to the white part. “Hsu-Ling, do you want your own, or do you want to share with Lexa?”
Hsu-Ling smiled at her older sister. “Share.”
Lexa took a bite and closed her eyes. It was so good. The slightly sweet sausage had a smoky flavor that was balanced by the seasoned rice. Being here in this place, surrounded by all this new food, with the euphoria of finally meeting her real father and other half sister, heightened her senses.
“Gei wo!” Hsu-Ling reached out, and Lexa understood enough to know she wanted the sausage. She watched Hsu-Ling take a bite as Pin-Yen fluttered around her with a plastic knife.
“Aiya, Hsu-Ling. I was going to cut that. You don’t want to get germs.” Pin-Yen gave Lexa a sidelong glance.
While Lexa was trying to figure out if she’d heard correctly, Hsu-Ling handed the sausage back to Lexa. Lexa held it in her hands, looking at Hsu-Ling’s mother with uncertainty until her father walked up next to her.
“We’re all family here.” He patted Lexa on her arm. “We share the same germs.”
Hsu-Ling giggled. “I just gave you my germs.” She waited until Lexa took another bite. As the flavors bombarded Lexa’s mouth, she forgot about Hsu-Ling’s mother.
Her father continued to buy food from different stalls. “Stinky tofu,” he said, and handed over a paper bowl of fried cubes of tofu, from which a sour and pungent odor emanated. Lexa and her mom both wrinkled their noses, but at her father’s urging, she tried a bite and found she liked it. It tasted better than it smelled.
“And this,” her father said, pointing to another bowl, “is tian bu la, Hsu-Ling’s favorite.”
Pong walked back from another stall and handed Lexa an ear of corn on a stick, coated in something brown. “Roast corn. Very special sauce.” He stepped away, and Lexa saw him sneaking a cigarette. He caught her eyes and put a finger to his lips, pointing to Hsu-Ling. Lexa giggled. She liked Uncle Pong.
Her baba and Pong took turns bringing her food, each dish better than the last. The flavors were rich and strange, yet comforting in her mouth. She’d never seen or tasted most of what was put in front of her, but she fell in love with every bite. It was like a dream, seeing all the Taiwanese people around her and even being able to understand some of the Mandarin. When she saw a group of blond tourists standing lost in the middle of the night market, she felt a moment of recognition. But for once, she wasn’t the one who stood out. She looked like everyone else around her. She was Taiwanese.
“Are you having fun?” Uncle Pong asked her. He handed her a bubble tea.
She nodded as she sucked up a tapioca ball through the thick straw. “I’ve never seen so much food in my life.” Lexa smiled widely, and she looked at her family. They were smiling back at her, all except Hsu-Ling’s mother, who had stopped at a shoe store and was examining a pair of high-heeled sandals.
“Baba!” Hsu-Ling pointed to a jewelry store. “We have to get ChiChi one of these bracelets!” She held up her arm and showed Lexa the green circular jade around her wrist.
Lexa looked up from her bubble tea. “ChiChi? Who’s that?”
Uncle Pong laughed. “You. It means beautiful, or adorable.”
Pin-Yen gave an unladylike snort, and they all turned to look at her. She waved a hand in front of her face. “Sorry, something caught in my throat.”
Lexa’s father came to her side. “When your mother’s friend in Japan showed me a picture of you, that was the word that popped into my head.” He spoke in Mandarin. “This character.” And he drew the character in the air. “I’ve thought of you as Chi ever since.”
Uncle Pong translated, and Lexa ducked her head, a big smile spreading over her face.
“Hsu-Ling’s been calling you ChiChi,” said Uncle Pong. “In Taiwan, doubling up on a name is a form of affection. She has trouble saying your American name.” It was true. Lexa had noticed that Hsu-Ling had been calling her “Re-xa.”
Hsu-Ling pointed to the jewelry store from her stroller. “Baba, let’s go in.”
“Good idea.” Their baba turned to Lexa. “We’ll pick one for you.”
Lexa’s mom came to her side after Pong translated. “You don’t have to do that. I’ll buy it for her.”
“No, please.” Lexa’s father addressed her mother in English. “Her eighth birthday tomorrow. Will be my present to her.” Lexa’s heart swelled when she heard that. Her father switched to Mandarin and said, “Parents often give this bracelet to their daughters as a symbol of their love and protection. The jade will protect and heal her body and spirit.”
“Mommy, please?” Lexa turned beseeching eyes to her mother.
Her mom turned up her hands in defeat. Together, they trooped into the store, and once she was wearing a bracelet, Lexa couldn’t stop looking at it. The jade was cool yet heavy on her wrist. She held her arm carefully, afraid she’d bang it against something and break it.
Hsu-Ling’s yell startled her. “Look! Bao bing! You have to try shaved ice, ChiChi. It’s so good. Uncle Pong, hurry!”
Lexa’s stomach groaned in protest. She’d already eaten far more than she usually did. But Hsu-Ling’s enthusiasm was contagious. Her father came to her side and slipped his hand into hers while her mother took her other hand. She smiled at them, and they ran after Hsu-Ling, who was egging Uncle Pong to push her stroller faster and faster.
6
They’re both dead?”
Lexa called her mom as soon as she hung up with Hsu-Ling. She could tell by her mom’s voice that she’d woken her up, even though it was just after ten thirty at night.
“Yes. She said Baba wanted to come to New York.” Lexa’s voice broke. “To apologize.”
“What?” Her mom’s voice rose. “He knew the truth?”
“I think so. But he died before Hsu-Ling could find out what he was talking about.”
Her mom didn’t say anything for a moment. “Okay. We can deal with this.”
“Can I come over after my one-o’clock client tomorrow? I don’t have anyone until six after that.”
“Yes. I’ll leave my teacher training early. I’ll tell them I have a family emergency.”
Lexa exhaled. “Thanks, Mom.”
* * *
• • •
Lexa tossed and turned in bed, sitting up to plump her pillow and find a cool spot. She was usually a good sleeper, but now she couldn’t shut her mind off. She’d tried to go to bed after talking to her mom because she had to be up so early the next day for her appointment with Christy Sung. But after two hours, she gave up.
Turning on the bedside lamp, she picked up her phone and scrolled through it, looking at pictures on Instagram, checking Twitter and Facebook. One of her Taiwanese cousins, Li-Chung, had posted pictures of Lexa’s father on her Facebook page, and Lexa stared at his face. How had so many years gone by already? She’d turned her back on her father and her heritage without a thought, concentrating on her Western life. But now a stab of regret went through her.
She scrolled through the pictures, reading the translated captions and comments.
“Beloved father, my uncle has passed away.”
“So sorry for your loss!”
“Tell Hsu-Ling we love her.”
“What a loss. He was a wonderful husband and father. The best!”
Lexa made a noise in her throat at that last comment, and Zeus picked up his head.
“It’s okay, buddy. Everything’s fine.” Z
eus pressed his warm body against her as she thought about her father. He’d been a wonderful father to Hsu-Ling, but not to Lexa.
Zeus nudged her with his nose, and Lexa stroked his head. “I need to talk to someone. My mind is going crazy.” But who’d be up at this hour? Maddie went to bed early because of her kids. Andi got out late from work at the restaurant, but even she was probably in bed by now.
Then she thought of Jake Wagner, the guy from San Francisco she’d met a month earlier. Even though she knew they had no future together, she smiled thinking about him. They’d been texting back and forth since he went home, and he’d mentioned in the last text that he was coming back to New York again soon for work.
She sent him a text. Hey, are you up?
He answered right away. Hi, pretty lady. What are you doing up? Isn’t it late in NYC?
Couldn’t sleep.
Sorry about that. But glad you texted. Was going to let you know tomorrow. I have to be in NYC in about ten days. I’ll be there for your birthday.
That’s great! She followed that with the emoji blowing a kiss.
I’ll give you more details tomorrow after I book a flight. Can’t wait.
Me either!
I think I hear Sophia—need to check. Are you going to bed?
Not yet.
Okay, be right back. And he blew a kiss back at her.
Lexa smiled as she snuggled deeper into bed. Her head knew she and Jake had no future, but the rest of her body was stubborn and didn’t care. She thought about the day they met as she waited for him to come back from checking on his little daughter.
The Tiger Mom's Tale Page 4