Phoenix didn’t reply. Lexa looked away from Phoenix’s gaze, angry. Yet she felt something building within her, a pressure in her chest fighting to come out. She bit her bottom lip when a thought came unbidden into her mind. She tried to push it away, but the more she tried, the more it forced its away to the front of her mind. She didn’t want to bond with this woman who’d broken up their family. But she found herself turning to Phoenix, and before she could stop herself, the words came out.
“Don’t tell Mom,” Lexa said, her voice barely above a whisper, “but I wish that woman had died instead of my father.”
16
June, Twenty-Two Years Ago
Taichung, Taiwan
Pin-Yen took a broom and swiped at the cobwebs hanging off the ceiling of the spare room, attacking them with a force that would have scared Hsu-Ling if she’d been in the room. Pin-Yen was filled with anger at having to prepare this room for Jing Tao’s other daughter. She’d managed to use Hsu-Ling and her various appointments with doctors, the physiatrist, the physical therapist, and the prosthetist as an excuse so the girl had only visited them twice, once when she was eight and again at twelve. But now that girl was coming the next day because she had just turned fourteen, and Jing Tao thought she was old enough to stay with them for the whole summer.
Pin-Yen knew she couldn’t condemn the girl outright. Jing Tao adored his American daughter. But how she wished the girl didn’t exist. Once upon a time, she’d thought maybe she could accept her husband’s other daughter, but now she knew the girl was a threat to Hsu-Ling. Pin-Yen had to be smart and bide her time to find the right way to get rid of that girl once and for all.
Because Jing Tao had told Pin-Yen recently that he had finally changed his will to include her. Pin-Yen had been horrified. He hadn’t done anything after that conversation she’d overheard between Jing Tao and his mother two years earlier. Pin-Yen had relaxed, sure her husband knew Hsu-Ling was his true daughter. But now he was acknowledging Lexa? The Chang legacy belonged to Hsu-Ling, Jing Tao’s legitimate daughter. How did he even know Lexa was his? They’d never done a paternity test. He’d taken one look at her picture and said she had the Chang jaw, and that was it. No amount of persuasion on Pin-Yen’s part had convinced him that he needed to be sure. What a fool he was. He was too blinded by his fling with that American woman to even consider the baby might not be his.
Pin-Yen fumed as she cleaned, fueled also by her anger at Hsu-Ling’s poor school performance. Hsu-Ling had missed a problem on a math exam. She should have gotten a perfect score. They’d gone over and over the homework, Pin-Yen drilling Hsu-Ling after she came home from buxiban, the supplementary learning classes that Hsu-Ling took after school and in the summer. There was no reason Hsu-Ling should have come home with a less than perfect score. They’d just have to work harder. Hsu-Ling was ten and a half already and needed to focus on her studies if she wanted to get into the medical school at National Taiwan University. Pin-Yen decided right then that Hsu-Ling needed a private tutor. Hsu-Ling was already doing buxiban for music, math, science, and art, but her poor performance on this test proved she needed extra help.
Pin-Yen took the thin padding stuffed with dried grass off the top of the woven bamboo bed and beat at it with her hands until dust swirled in the air, imagining it was her husband’s other daughter she was beating. Of course she’d never lay a hand on the child. But she’d watch the girl carefully, and she’d figure out a way to protect Hsu-Ling, Jing Tao’s true daughter. She’d worked too hard on Hsu-Ling to let that girl steal her daughter’s future.
Pin-Yen looked at her watch. Hsu-Ling should be almost done with her piano lesson. And then one hour for homework before dinner, then an hour of reading followed by character-writing practice. Hsu-Ling complained she never got to play with her friends, but there was no time for friends. Friends were a distraction that Hsu-Ling didn’t need.
She gave the mattress one last beating. Throwing it on the bed, she watched as it sank, lifeless, back into place. She sniffed in satisfaction. Her daughter would be a doctor and the true heir of the Chang family. And Lexa would spend no more than a few nights on this bed. Pin-Yen would make sure of it.
17
Are you sure Phoenix doesn’t mind having Zeus here all weekend?” Lexa stood in the doorway of her mom and Phoenix’s apartment. When Lexa had mentioned to her mom that Jake was in town for a few days, Susan had offered to take Zeus for the weekend. Lexa had walked Zeus through Central Park to the Upper West Side, and now she eyed Phoenix’s immaculate apartment with uncertainty. Zeus’s paws were dirty, and he shed a lot.
“Don’t be silly. Phoenix loves dogs.” Susan gestured them inside. “At least one grandchild is allowed to stay with me.”
“What do you mean?” Lexa’s brows rose. What had Maddie done now?
Her mom unclipped Zeus’s leash, and he walked into the apartment, sniffing with his nose to the ground. “I offered to take Corey and Connor next weekend so Maddie and Mike could have time together. She didn’t text me back.”
“She wouldn’t keep her kids from you.”
Susan’s shoulders drooped. “I think she might, just to make a point.” She put a smile on her face. “Anyways, have fun with Jake. Don’t worry about Zeus. We’ll take good care of him.”
Lexa reached out to hug her mom. “Thanks. I’ll pick him up before my birthday dinner on Sunday. And don’t worry. I don’t think Maddie would use Corey and Connor against you. She knows they love you.”
Susan gave a sad smile. “I hope you’re right.”
* * *
• • •
Lexa wound her way through the hotel bar until she was standing in front of Jake.
“Hi.” She couldn’t stop a smile from spreading over her face.
“Hi, yourself.” He pulled her in for a hug. She leaned into him, the feel of his strong body against hers sending sparks through her. It’d been more than a month since she’d last seen him, and pleasure spread in her body like warm soup on a cold day.
“I’m glad you’re here.” Lexa slipped onto the barstool next to Jake, her heart rate quickening just by being in his presence.
“Me too.” He got the bartender’s attention, and once Lexa had ordered a drink, he asked, “So how are you? Tell me everything.”
“So much is going on. You won’t believe it.” It’d been almost a week since Lexa had met Phoenix.
“Try me.” He looked into her eyes, and she wanted to tell him about her mother’s news and her father and Hsu-Ling, but she decided to start with something lighter.
“Work is great. One of my clients, who’s also a close friend, has a Food Network show that’s getting really popular.”
“What’s the name of the show? I’ll look for it.”
Lexa told him about Andi and her show as the bartender placed her glass of wine in front of her.
“And I have another client whose whole goal in life is to find a rich husband. But she recently met and fell in love with a starving artist, and now she doesn’t know what to do.”
“Ah. Marry for love or money. That’s the age-old question.”
Lexa took a sip of her wine. “I’m only telling you because Kiley has asked me before if I told my boyfriend about her.” She stopped, embarrassed. “I don’t mean I think of you as my boyfriend.” She stopped again because Jake was now smirking at her. “Anyways, she . . . um.” Flustered, Lexa lost her train of thought and took another gulp of the very excellent Viognier.
“You were telling me about Kiley?”
“Oh, right. So this morning, she tells me this man is the love of her life.” Kiley had shown up for her session brimming with news about the artist she’d met a couple of weeks earlier. “Apparently, the sex is amazing and they’re soul mates.”
Jake’s smile took over his face. “But she can’t get over the no-money thing and wants your advice on whether to dump
him and find a richer man?”
Lexa nodded. “Basically. But she’s not the gold digger this is making her out to sound like. There’s something kind of sweet and innocent about her. I think she just had a rough childhood and grew up thinking money was the answer to happiness.”
“How does she pay for her training sessions, then?”
“Her mom. She married a rich man, hence the belief that marrying for money is the way to happiness. She’ll do anything to help Kiley find one for herself.”
“Huh.” Jake looked thoughtful. “What’s she going to do, then, if she’s in love with this guy?”
“I don’t know.” Lexa shrugged. “Kiley really wants kids and thinks this guy would make a wonderful father, but how’s he going to support them when he’s a struggling artist?”
“Your clients really do tell you everything.”
“Pretty much.”
Jake leaned in then and kissed her, erasing all thoughts of Kiley and her poor boyfriend from her mind. What was it about Jake’s kisses that had such an effect on her? She clung to him, wanting to get closer even as she was aware of being in public with the noise of the Friday night crowd around them. She could kiss him all day.
He pulled away and studied her for so long that she grew uncomfortable. Did she have something in her teeth? Or a booger hanging out of her nose?
“What?” Lexa gave him a questioning look while bringing up a hand to shield her face.
“Just . . .” Jake broke their gaze and looked down at the bar for a moment before raising his eyes back to meet hers. “So. You really don’t want kids?”
Lexa started, still thinking about whatever unsightly thing was sticking to her face. It took a moment for her brain to understand what he’d said. She made a noncommittal gesture with her hand, relieved it wasn’t anything gross that had caused him to look at her like that.
“No. And you want more kids?”
He shrugged. “I guess I always thought I’d have at least two. It’d be nice to give Sophia a sister or brother. If I ever meet the right person.”
Lexa looked away, not wanting him to see how much she wanted to be his person, yet at the same time, how much she didn’t want to be his person if he wanted kids.
There was a pause as they both took sips of their drinks and looked around the bar. “What else is going on?” It was obvious Jake was trying to change the subject. “You said so much is happening.”
“Well.” She looked down at their hands, which were entwined together. “My mom left my stepfather for a woman a few weeks ago, and my Taiwanese father died.”
His jaw dropped, and he squeezed her hand. “I’m so sorry. Why didn’t you tell me?”
“It didn’t feel like something I could write in a text. Plus, I don’t really know you.”
He squeezed her hand again. “You can call me anytime. I know we’ve only seen each other once before, but I feel like I know you.”
“Thanks. I don’t really want to get into it right now. It’s all kind of confusing. And my half sister from Taiwan is coming to see me. She’ll be here next week.”
“You’re not going over there for the funeral?”
She paused, knowing it sounded strange that Hsu-Ling was coming here instead of her going back to Taiwan. “No.” She didn’t elaborate.
His eyebrows rose, but he didn’t say anything.
“I just can’t go back there.”
He held up a hand. “It’s okay. You don’t have to explain. Even if you weren’t close to him, I know it must be hard for you to lose him. I’m sorry. I really am.”
“Thank you.”
“Do you want to talk about him?”
“What’s there to say?” Lexa lifted a shoulder. “He lived across the world, and I only saw him a few times in my life.”
“He didn’t want to see you?”
“He did. When he first found out about me, I was only two. He was getting married, so he couldn’t come to New York, and my mom thought I was too young to go to Taiwan. I didn’t meet him until I was eight.”
She stopped, not willing to go further. Jake sensed this and changed the subject. “What about your mom’s news? Did you have any idea?” He kept her hand firmly in his.
“Nope. Completely out of the blue. My sister isn’t speaking to Mom.”
Jake’s eyes shone with sympathy. “Family drama. That’s tough.”
“Yes.” She gave a small smile. “But let’s not talk about it. I want to enjoy my time with you and forget all that for a night.” He didn’t have to be at work until Monday morning, so they had the whole weekend to look forward to.
“Okay. You ready for dinner?” He gazed into her eyes, and a spark jolted through her body. She was so tempted to suggest they skip dinner and go right to his hotel room when something about his features made her tip her head to the side and study him closer.
“What?” Now it was his turn to look uncomfortable.
“Are you part Asian, by chance?”
He smiled. “Actually, yes. My father is half-Japanese and half-German. And my mom is Jewish. You can imagine the teasing I used to get.”
“I bet.” She shook her head. “I did too, for different reasons.” The bullies in her class had chanted at her, “Ching, Chong, Chinaman!” and pulled at their eyes until they were mere slits. She’d go home and cry to her mom, who wasn’t Asian at all.
Jake tilted his head. “Growing up, I never knew where I fit in. I wasn’t really Asian, but I wasn’t fully Jewish either.”
“Me too!” Lexa’s eyes widened at their shared feelings of not belonging. “I grew up with my white family, and I stuck out. And when I was in Taiwan, I wasn’t Asian enough.” A look of understanding passed between them.
Jake opened his mouth, but before he could say anything, the waiter put their bill in front of them, breaking the spell. Jake slipped his hand out of hers and reached for his wallet to pay for the drinks. “I forgot to tell you. I got us tickets to that underground concert, for after dinner.”
“The one in a secret location?” Jake had told her about the concerts where the location wasn’t revealed until the day before.
“Yes. It’s in Chelsea tonight.”
She jumped off the barstool. “That sounds like fun.” She loved that he’d found them something unusual to do, instead of the standard dinner and drinks.
They linked hands again and walked two blocks to the Asian fusion restaurant Lexa had picked for the night. Before they went in, Jake stopped at an isolated part of the street and pulled her close against him. He kissed her with so much passion that her senses overflowed. All she could think about was his lips on hers and how divine it felt to be in his arms. When he finally let her go, she swore she saw stars and smiled at him dreamily.
“Let’s go in before I do something I’ll regret.” Jake leaned his forehead against hers before pulling away.
She turned and floated toward the door of the restaurant and promptly walked into the wall. Clutching her nose, she stumbled back against Jake, and he wrapped his arms around her. After making sure she was okay, he laughed, hugging her close to him. Even though her nose was burning, she laughed along with him, and they locked eyes. For just one moment, Lexa forgot she’d decided there was no potential with him. She almost invited him to her birthday dinner in two days, but at the last minute she bit back the invitation.
Be careful, Lexa. Don’t fall in love with him.
18
Happy birthday!” Andi gave her a hug when Lexa walked into Bisque that Sunday afternoon. A section of the bar had been roped off for Lexa’s birthday dinner. Gardenias floating in clear bowls graced every table, and tiny white lights strung along the walls and tables made the place sparkle like fireflies in the night.
“Happy birthday, my sweet girl.” Lexa’s mom came up behind her and gave her a squeeze.
/> Lexa smiled and looked around. Her mom and Phoenix were there, as well as her dad with Maddie hovering near him, shooting death stares at their mom and her new . . . girlfriend? Is that what you called a woman in her sixties? Maddie’s husband, Mike, had Corey in his arms, and Connor ran up to Lexa and threw his arms around her legs.
She realized it was the first time her entire family plus Phoenix was in the same room together. She was still glowing in the aftermath of her weekend with Jake, and even the awkwardness of her family situation couldn’t dampen her spirits.
“Happy birthday, Aunt Lexa. Do you want to see my new dinosaur?” Connor made it roar at her, and she jumped back in mock terror.
Elise, Lexa’s group fitness manager, walked over and, after greeting Lexa, admired Connor’s dinosaur.
Lexa’s mom picked him up. “Connor, you’re a really scary dinosaur, you know that?”
Connor nodded at his grandma. “I know. Roar!”
Lexa’s mom laughed. She drifted off to the bar with Connor to get him a drink. Andi looked after her and said, “I can’t believe your mom quit her job to be a yogi. And that she has a girlfriend. She’s my hero.”
“I know.” Lexa couldn’t stop smiling. “I’m still getting used to it. But she seems happy.”
“Why are you smiling like that?” Andi eyed her with suspicion.
“It’s my birthday, and you’re all here. Why shouldn’t I be happy?”
Andi squinted at her. “It’s more than that. It’s Jake, isn’t it?”
Lexa didn’t say anything, just smiled even wider.
“Someone had sex,” Elise said.
Lexa nodded in agreement. “Really good sex.”
“Oh my God. Tell me more. I have not had really good sex in a while.” Andi leaned closer, her eyes glimmering.
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