“He’s amazing,” Lexa said. “Everything we do is so natural and right. Even when we’re not in bed.” She blushed when she thought of all the things Jake had done to her that weekend, all the places he’d kissed with his mouth.
“I’m so jealous.” Andi hit her on the shoulder.
“Guess what he gave me for my birthday?”
“Jewelry?” Andi guessed.
“Flowers? Lingerie?” This from Elise.
Lexa shook her head. “No. Last time he was here, we talked about wanting to visit every state in the United States before the age of fifty. We were trying to figure out how many states each of us had been to.” She stopped and smiled, thinking about Jake’s gift.
“Tell us! What did he get you?” Andi jabbed her in the side with her elbow.
“He got me a map of the United States that you can put a wine cork in for every state that you’ve visited. Isn’t that the most unique and thoughtful gift ever? He knows I like wine, and I can hang it up as wall decoration.”
“Okay.” Elise crossed her arms over her chest. “That’s pretty impressive. He needs to give men lessons on how to give women thoughtful gifts.”
“I know, right?” Lexa hugged her arms around herself, giddy at the thought that her friends thought he was as great as she did.
“So he was just like you remembered?” Elise asked.
Lexa nodded.
“Guess Yellow Fever Guy doesn’t stand a chance, then.” Andi wiggled her brows at her.
“Who?” Elise’s forehead wrinkled in confusion.
“I met this guy from Bumble for a drink last week. Before Jake got here.” Lexa made a face, thinking about the unpleasant experience.
“You didn’t tell me about this,” Elise said. “How was it?”
“The guy was nuts. Seriously. Obsessed.”
“What do you mean? Obsessed how?”
“Obsessed with Asian women. He had the worst case of yellow fever I’ve ever seen.”
Elise was still confused. “What’s that?”
Lexa and Andi exchanged a look, and then Lexa explained. “It’s when a guy is completely obsessed with Asian women. They only date women who are Asian. They don’t even care if she’s smart or interesting or pretty. As long as she’s Asian, they’re hooked. We call it yellow fever.”
Elise snorted out a laugh. “I’ve never heard of that. So was he at least cute or funny?”
“At first I thought he was hot. But then he just got creepy. I told him I was Taiwanese, and he told me he loves Thai food. He was talking in this fake Asian accent, and it drove me nuts.”
“What kind of fake accent?”
“You know, like, ‘You so beautiful!’ I wanted to scream that I speak English.”
Andi guffawed, making Elise laugh.
“But the best was when he told me Asian women are like lotus flowers, ready to blossom under the right guy’s touch, and he was that guy for me.” Lexa saw Elise smile as she reached up to touch the lotus flower necklace she was wearing.
“I bet that went over well.” Andi had a smirk on her face.
Lexa shuddered. “I was so creeped out, and then he told me he loves the subservient manner of Asian women. Do I look like the subservient type to you?” She looked around, daring her friends to agree.
They shook their heads with straight faces.
“And then he had the audacity to tell me he wanted a blow job while driving down the FDR in his convertible!”
“Oh my God! What did you do?” Elise asked.
“I dumped my drink in his lap and told him I wasn’t subservient and I’d never blossom, at least not in his presence. My friend Rob and another bartender escorted him out after I threw his drink in his face.”
“You didn’t!” Elise clapped her hands. “Good for you. I’ve always wanted to do that when guys get fresh at bars, but I’ve never had the nerve. Does he have your phone number? I hope he doesn’t turn out to be a stalker.”
“We only communicated through the app, and I blocked him as soon as I left the restaurant.”
“That’s good. But if you like Jake so much, why did you go out with this guy in the first place?” Andi looked at her with curiosity.
“Because Jake isn’t forever potential.” Lexa pretended not to see the skeptical looks her friends were sending her way.
“So where’s Jake, by the way?” Andi asked. “Why didn’t you invite him tonight?”
Maddie walked up before Lexa could answer. “What are you guys whispering about? Andi, the food is so good.” Waiters were circulating through their party with appetizers while everyone had drinks before sitting down to dinner.
“Thanks. We’re just talking about your sister’s amazing sex life.”
Maddie looked wistful for a moment and took a sip of her apple martini. “Where is he? I want to meet him.”
“You guys,” Lexa said. “It’s not like I’m dating him. I didn’t want him to get the wrong idea, so I didn’t invite him. Anyways, he’s seeing friends tonight.”
“He didn’t celebrate your birthday with you?” Maddie asked.
“He did. He took me out to brunch this morning.” Lexa smiled again, feeling a tingle run through her body just thinking of the time they’d spent in his hotel room before brunch.
“When’s he going home?” Andi asked.
“Not ’til Thursday morning. I hope I get to see him at some point this week, but Hsu-Ling’s coming on Tuesday, so I’m not sure.”
“You seem to like him a lot,” Andi said. “This is the most you’ve talked about a guy in a long time.”
Lexa nodded. “I do. And I could stay in bed with him all day.” She laughed when Andi poked her in the side.
“But doesn’t he live in San Francisco?” Maddie asked. “And has a kid he can’t leave?”
“Yes.” Lexa sighed. “I know. There’s no way we have a future together.”
Maddie studied her for a moment. “Well, you do always pick men that you can’t have a long-term relationship with.”
“I do not.” She would have argued further, but Maddie cut her off.
“Hey, can you tell Mom that Connor and Corey can’t sleep over next weekend? I’m not letting my children spend the night in that woman’s apartment.”
“Tell her yourself. It’s Mom’s apartment now too.” Lexa’s forehead crinkled in annoyance. “She’s standing right there. And why are you punishing your kids? You know they’d love to spend the weekend with Mom.”
Maddie tossed her head but then froze when she saw Phoenix picking up Corey in her arms. “Oh, no, she doesn’t.” And she stomped off toward their mom and Phoenix and snatched Corey out of Phoenix’s arms before taking Connor by the hand and dragging him away from the two women. Lexa ran after her, hoping to stop a scene, but Maddie had already disappeared into the bathroom with her kids by the time Lexa reached her mom’s side.
A waiter walked by with a tray of mini short rib tacos, offering one to Lexa before she could say anything. But she saw the glance her mom and Phoenix exchanged and noticed the sad droop of her mom’s mouth.
Lexa took a taco and turned to Phoenix. “Thanks for coming,” she said, hoping to make up for Maddie’s rudeness. She looked to her friends for backup, but they’d all abandoned her. Andi had turned to talk to other people when Lexa had run after Maddie, and Lexa saw Elise talking to her dad on the other side of the bar. Her mom excused herself, and Lexa hoped she wasn’t going to follow Maddie into the bathroom.
“How’re you holding up?” Phoenix asked.
“Okay.” Lexa’s eyes tracked her mom’s progress, and she was relieved when her mom went over to talk to some of Lexa’s friends from the gym.
“That’s good.”
Lexa nodded and put the taco in her mouth as a distraction. It was delicious, and she chewed slowly
, trying to think of what to say. She didn’t know how to act around Phoenix, after the terrible confession she’d made to her the other day.
“Well, happy birthday.” Phoenix reached over and gave her a brief hug when Lexa had finished her bite. Lexa stiffened in her unfamiliar embrace, and Phoenix pulled back.
“Thank you.” Lexa knew the smile she gave Phoenix didn’t reach her eyes. She looked over at her dad to see if he’d seen Phoenix hug her, and she was relieved he had his back to her.
“Thanks for inviting me. I know it’s not easy for you and your sister to accept me.” She spoke softly, looking away from Lexa. She coughed, and Lexa suddenly felt bad for being so distant with her.
“Maddie will come around.”
“And you?” Phoenix raised her eyebrows in question.
“I just want my mom to be happy. If she’s happy with you, then I’m okay with it. It’ll take some time to get used to, but I’ll come around too.”
Phoenix smiled, and Lexa found herself smiling back.
“By the way, I didn’t mean it the other day when I said I wished Hsu-Ling’s mother had died instead of my father.” It’d been eating at Lexa, that she’d told Phoenix something so personal. She had no idea why she’d blurted that out.
“Lexa, it’s fine. I know what you meant. We all say things we don’t mean in the heat of the moment. She hurt you when you were fourteen. Of course you feel animosity toward her.”
Lexa stared at Phoenix. Maybe the older woman really did understand how she felt. Before she could respond, Lexa’s mom called to Phoenix from across the bar. Phoenix touched Lexa on the arm lightly, and then headed toward Susan. Lexa stood still for a moment, watching Phoenix and her mom together. Then she shook her head and walked over to her dad and Elise.
“I’m glad to see you talking to my friends.” She put an arm around Greg and turned to Elise. “Where’s Bryson?” Elise had gotten divorced five years earlier and had a son who’d just graduated from college. She’d been seeing Bryson, the personal training manager, for a while.
“Oh, we broke up. Months ago.”
“What?” Lexa was surprised. “I didn’t know that.”
“It’s no big deal,” Elise said. “We’re better as friends. Plus, it was getting old sneaking around, since the gym doesn’t like it when employees date each other.”
“I’m sorry.”
Elise waved a hand. “It’s fine.”
“Well, my dad isn’t here with anyone either. You can be her date, right, Dad?” She smiled at him. “Even though she’s too young for you.”
Greg turned red and drained his glass of beer before setting it down on the bar. “I need to ask your mom something,” he said, and left abruptly.
Lexa was embarrassed. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s wrong with him. He usually has a better sense of humor than that.”
Elise shook her head, a small smile on her face. “Don’t worry about it.”
Lexa watched Greg as he walked over to her mom and Phoenix. He reached out a hand as if to place it on her mom’s back before withdrawing it and scratched his neck instead. Even from here, Lexa could see the blush on his face. He looked so uncomfortable.
She shouldn’t have invited Phoenix. She’d done so to show her mom she supported her decision, without thinking how it would affect her dad. Poor Dad, she thought, realizing it was becoming a familiar refrain. She vowed to be more sensitive to his feelings. He’d been there for her all her life, always ready to back her up, proud of her no matter what. He’d been a father to her in the truest sense of the word, unlike her real father.
Before she could brood any more about her two fathers, Andi clapped her hands and announced that dinner was ready. As the guests moved toward the dining tables reserved for their party, Lexa found herself surrounded by her friends and family. She allowed them to sweep her into their midst and plastered a smile on her face. But inside, the glow she’d felt from her weekend with Jake was fading, overshadowed by her worry for her family.
19
Hsu-Ling? What’s the matter?”
“Aiyo, ChiChi. You’re not going to believe what’s going on here.” Hsu-Ling’s voice burst out over the phone, and Lexa’s heart picked up speed.
“What happened?”
“It’s my mother. I’m so mad!”
“Your mother?” Lexa had Hsu-Ling on speakerphone and gripped the edges of the phone hard when her fingers threatened to drop it. She’d just come home from her birthday party and was more than a little tipsy. Her head swam as she squinted at the wall clock above her kitchen sink. It was one thirty in the morning, technically Monday morning now.
“Baba said right before he died that it was all Mama’s fault, but he didn’t say what was her fault. I didn’t tell you because I didn’t know what he was talking about. I asked her, but she wouldn’t tell me. Until today.”
“Hsu-Ling. You’re not making sense.” Lexa’s head was fuzzy from all the cocktails she’d consumed. She opened the fridge and grabbed a small bottle of Poland Spring, guzzling half of it in one gulp.
Lexa heard her sister take a big breath. “I’m sorry,” Hsu-Ling said. “I’m just so upset.”
“Start at the beginning.”
“Whatever Pong said to Baba, Baba was angry. He said he was so mad at Mama that he could strangle her. Mama and I had a big fight today. She’s been against me going to see you, keeps telling me I’m making a big mistake. I asked her why Baba was so mad at her, and it finally came out.”
“So now you know how much your mother hates me.”
“No! She doesn’t hate you.”
“Trust me, Hsu-Ling.” Lexa’s voice was quiet. “She despises me. I bet she wished I’d died instead of our father.”
“Lexa!”
“It’s the truth.”
“She told me she did something to make sure you went away that summer and never came back. But she wouldn’t tell me what she did. Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I didn’t know if you’d believe me.” Lexa set down her phone on the coffee table, suddenly too tired to hold it up.
“She took all the letters you ever wrote me and threw them away.”
“I’m not surprised.” Lexa had suspected, but it was still a shock to have her suspicions confirmed.
“I only found out because when I was fourteen, I came home sick from school one day and found a letter you’d just sent on her desk. She claimed it was the first one. That’s when I started writing to you.”
“Why didn’t you tell me you never read any of my letters before you were fourteen? You made it sound as if it was your choice not to write to me until then.”
Hsu-Ling sighed, a long, heavy sound. “I guess I was protecting my mother. Plus, she was always so negative about you. Didn’t want me to contact you, said you didn’t like me and wanted nothing to do with me, so why should I want to stay in touch with you? I guess maybe I believed some of that.”
“She said that? It’s the furthest from the truth.”
“I know now . . .” Hsu-Ling stopped, and Lexa could hear her breathing rapidly.
“Are you okay?”
“I don’t know. I have so many questions. We have so much to talk about.”
“We do.” Lexa closed her eyes, resigned to the fact that the past was coming back, no matter how much she wished it wouldn’t. “I’m sorry, Hsu-Ling. I would have told you sooner, but I didn’t want to put you in the middle.”
“My flight’s tonight, in a few hours. I’m leaving for the airport soon.” Hsu-Ling paused. “I want to know everything. With Baba and Uncle Pong dead, you’re the only one left who can tell me, since my mother won’t.”
Lexa didn’t answer right away. She stared at her hands, and the old humiliation washed over her even after all these years. But then she remembered what Greg had said, about it not being her s
hame. She raised her chin. She wasn’t a child anymore. She’d done nothing wrong, and it was time Hsu-Ling knew the truth.
“Okay. I’ll tell you everything when you get here.”
20
Tuesday morning, Lexa wove behind a row of treadmills at the gym and headed for Christy. Hsu-Ling would be landing at JFK Airport in a few hours, and Lexa was jittery with nerves.
She drew up next to Christy’s treadmill. “Look at you! You’re walking so fast.”
Christy’s cheeks were red. “That’s because I’m mad. My father is such a jerk.” She pressed the speed button until she broke into a jog.
“What did he do?”
Sweat dotted Christy’s hairline. “He told me my consulting job was stupid even though I’m making so much money now. He said it wasn’t as important as being a lawyer. Why does he always have to compare me to my sister?”
“That sucks.” Lexa reached out to slow the treadmill. Christy was getting all worked up, and she didn’t want her to trip.
“I hung up on him.” Christy turned to Lexa, her eyes wide with shock. “I can’t believe I did that.” She turned back to the treadmill and jabbed at the incline button. “A few weeks ago, I’d never have imagined I could defy my father. But ever since I started working out with you, I feel braver.”
Christy continued to talk about her father, stabbing the incline button with every word, but Lexa listened with only one ear. She was thinking about Hsu-Ling’s arrival, nervous to see her sister for the first time in twenty-two years.
“Lexa!”
She looked up to see Bryson waving at her from the edge of the cardio section. He gestured to Christy, and Lexa turned back just in time to see Christy, whose treadmill was almost vertical by then, go flying off the back of the machine.
Lexa’s mouth opened in shock, but before she could react, Jennifer, a floor trainer who happened to be standing behind Christy’s treadmill, put her hands up to stop Christy’s fall and somehow pushed Christy back upright. Lexa finally sprang into motion, her hands fumbling on the decline button before remembering to yank out the red emergency cord.
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