“You were fourteen years old!” The words burst out of Maddie like bullets spraying the room. She flung out a hand and directed her glare at Hsu-Ling. “She hadn’t even kissed a boy. How could they possibly believe she’d do that to a grown man?”
Hsu-Ling held up her hands, as if to ward off Maddie. “Hey, I’m just as shocked as you are. There’s no way Lexa did any of that. I was there.”
“I feel gross just talking about it again.” Lexa picked up her head and shivered, rubbing her hands over her upper arms. She looked at Hsu-Ling. “Your mother hates my guts. She wanted to get rid of me so bad, she would have done anything to turn Baba against me.” Lexa’s mouth turned down at the corners. “She succeeded. Baba and I never saw each other again.”
“That’s horrible!” Hsu-Ling’s voice was hoarse, and her hands were clenched in fists. “No wonder she was so upset when Baba’s will was read.”
Lexa let out a short laugh. “She must have about died when she found out he left me the same amount he left you.” She swung her legs over the side of the bed and sprang up so suddenly that Hsu-Ling took a step back in surprise. “I have to go home. I’m sorry. I wanted to take both of you out for dinner, but my head is killing me. I need to lie down. Maybe we can get together later tonight if I feel better?”
“Okay.” Hsu-Ling blinked rapidly. “I’m sorry. Sorry for what my mother did to you.”
“It’s not your fault.” Lexa reached out and touched her sister on the shoulder. “This is just so much for me to remember. All I wanted was for Baba to believe me, but he didn’t. He chose your mother and Pong over me, and there was nothing I could do.”
The two sisters looked at each other, and then Hsu-Ling reached out and pulled her into her arms. Lexa felt, rather than saw, Maddie get off the bed.
“I’ll take you home,” Maddie said.
Lexa pulled away from Hsu-Ling and gave Maddie a small nod. “Thanks.” To Hsu-Ling, she said, “I’ll call you later.”
Lexa and Maddie walked out the door, but Hsu-Ling placed a hand on Lexa’s arm, stopping her before she could close the door. “Baba did love you. He was so distraught after you left.” They stared at each other, and then Lexa nodded and left with Maddie.
28
July, Twenty-Two Years Ago
Taichung, Taiwan
Jing Tao sat in the courtyard by himself, smoking a cigarette. He’d quit years earlier, when Hsu-Ling was a baby, but Pong had left a pack behind. He lit up without thinking, drawing in a lungful of smoke as if he’d never stopped. He ran a hand through his hair, which he still kept long in the front like it had been when he met Susan in Thailand.
He didn’t know what to think. He loved his daughter, but he couldn’t ignore his wife’s accusations. She was so adamant, and she’d never lied to him about anything before, so why would she start now? Maybe the truth lay somewhere between Pin-Yen’s version and Lexa’s. Maybe Lexa had been jealous that Hsu-Ling was his full-time daughter. But he couldn’t imagine Lexa mutilating the pictures of Hsu-Ling with the kind of vicious strokes evident in the photos found in Lexa’s suitcase. If Lexa hadn’t done that, then who had? It was preposterous to think Pin-Yen had done it to frame Lexa, as Susan had suggested. His wife would never do that.
Yet if Pong hadn’t corroborated Pin-Yen’s story, he didn’t know if he’d have fully believed her. Chi was a well-behaved girl. Her mother and stepfather had raised her well. She was smart and had a good sense of humor. She was respectful to adults and her family, and he couldn’t imagine that she would harm Hsu-Ling. He’d seen the way the two sisters had bonded, and it had warmed his heart. But Pong, his brother, the person closest to him, who knew him inside and out, had said Chi had come on to him. And that he’d seen Chi try to hurt Hsu-Ling.
Jing Tao might doubt Pin-Yen, but he trusted Pong with his whole heart. Pong, who’d never married and who’d said he didn’t need a wife. (Jing Tao had often wondered if Pong was gay, but Pong always denied it.) “I have you and your family,” Pong said. “That’s enough for me. I’m too much of a bachelor to live with anyone. I’d rather enjoy your family and be able to go home where no one is nagging me and where my things stay in the same spot unless I move them.”
Jing Tao rubbed a fist over his eye. Hsu-Ling was going to be so upset to find ChiChi gone when she got back from Ah-Ma’s. He could already hear her wails and her questions. What was he going to tell her? Pin-Yen wanted to tell her the truth, but Jing Tao refused. He would not tell his ten-year-old daughter what they were accusing Chi of.
Inhaling deeply from the cigarette, he let the smoke fill his lungs. He couldn’t get the image of Chi staring at him, willing him to believe her, to come to her defense, out of his mind. The last words he and his older daughter had exchanged echoed in his mind.
Let’s try to work it out. I love you. Hsu-Ling loves you. Please don’t go.
I can’t stay, Baba. You don’t believe me.
I do believe you. But Pong and Pin-Yen wouldn’t lie. Maybe you were jealous but didn’t mean any harm?
I’m not jealous of Hsu-Ling, and I didn’t lie. I want to go home.
And he’d stood by, the tiniest little bit of doubt in his heart, as she’d packed her bags and Susan had hustled her out of his apartment and out of his life without a backward glance.
He dropped his cigarette to the floor and ground it out with his shoe. In the next breath, he slammed his fist into the red metal gate, over and over, ignoring the pain in his knuckles, until they bled and the bright red blood ran down his arm and spattered onto the concrete floor of the courtyard.
* * *
• • •
Inside the apartment, Pin-Yen had seen Jing Tao grab the pack of cigarettes before slamming out the front door. She knew he’d probably sneak one, but she let him go. Let him have his little guilty pleasure. She’d gotten what she wanted.
He’d sat in stunned silence right after Lexa and her American mother had stormed out of the apartment, not even a half hour earlier. Pin-Yen hadn’t said anything, knowing she needed to play the part of the supportive wife now. Instead, she’d rubbed his back and brought him a shot of scotch, which he’d tossed down before burying his face in his hands. She’d sat next to him for a few minutes, her physical presence a reminder that she was his wife and would always stand by his side. When at last he’d looked at her, she’d seen the resignation in his eyes.
Taking his face between her hands, she’d said in a gentle voice, “It’s better to know now the true nature of that girl.”
He’d nodded, his mouth turned downward, but hadn’t replied.
“You’ll see, it’s for the best,” Pin-Yen had cooed, stroking her husband’s hair, loving the silky feel of it and proud that he still had a full head of black, black hair. “When you feel better, you’ll see this was a blessing. You can take her out of your will, and the Chang money will stay in our family, where it belongs.”
He hadn’t replied, but she’d seen from the stoop of his shoulders that he knew she was right.
Now, with a small, satisfied smile, she turned to the room where Lexa had stayed. She would get rid of all evidence of Jing Tao’s other daughter. Her plan had worked. She’d gotten rid of that girl.
Stripping the bed of the sheets and the quilted comforter that Ah-Ma had made when Hsu-Ling was born, Pin-Yen considered burning it but knew Hsu-Ling would be upset. She’d insisted her jie jie use her prized comforter for the summer. Pin-Yen’s mouth twisted in displeasure when she caught a whiff of the fruity scent from the shampoo Lexa used. Pin-Yen couldn’t wait to get everything in the wash and erase all traces of that girl. Her baby was the only daughter who counted in their family.
Her Hsu-Ling, the most perfect daughter. It had been Pin-Yen’s fault that she’d been born with only one leg. Pin-Yen had worried herself to death, knowing something she’d done while she was pregnant had caused Hsu-Ling’s amniotic ba
nd syndrome. Even though the doctor had told her it hadn’t been her fault, she knew he was wrong. It had been her fault. She’d devoted her life to getting the best for her daughter.
And now, she’d made sure Hsu-Ling would inherit this building from her father, the eldest son of the Chang family. Since Jing Tao didn’t have any sons, the building should rightfully go to the eldest son of the next brother in line. But Jing Tao’s brother had two daughters, so Hsu-Ling would inherit. Not Lexa, that bastard daughter, even though technically she was the eldest daughter.
She crumpled the bedding together and lugged it to the laundry machine in the enclosed porch at the back of the apartment. She stuffed it all in and loaded the soap. She’d hang up everything when it was done, on the lines crisscrossing the balcony. Like most Taiwanese families, they didn’t own a dryer.
While she waited for the wash, she thought of what to tell Hsu-Ling. She knew her daughter was going to be upset that Lexa had disappeared without saying good-bye. She had no idea why Hsu-Ling had developed such an attachment to the girl, despite her best efforts to persuade her daughter that Lexa wasn’t to be trusted. Hsu-Ling would sulk and pout, but she’d get over it and forget she ever had a sister. They were well rid of that girl. Pong had helped to make sure of that. Jing Tao may not have believed her, but she knew he’d never doubt Pong.
Good thing she had Pong wrapped around her finger, and had since they were teenagers. Allowing herself another smile, she went into the kitchen and pulled out a box of Tai Yang Bing, sun biscuits. The delicate, flaky pastries filled with condensed malt sugar were her favorite. She usually rationed them out because she didn’t want to gain weight. But she deserved a treat for a job well done, for ensuring her daughter’s legacy. She took a bite and closed her eyes, savoring the taste of victory on her tongue.
29
Mom’s just getting out of her teacher training and said to order dinner for her.” Lexa hung up with their mom as she and Maddie walked into Lexa’s apartment.
Maddie scratched her neck and looked back at the front door. “Maybe I should go.”
“Please stay.” Lexa looked up from the drawer where she kept the takeout menus and gave Maddie a beseeching look.
“It’ll just be awkward.”
“I need you, Maddie. I need both you and Mom tonight. Can’t you put your anger at her aside? For me?”
Maddie scowled but threw herself on the couch. “Fine. But only because you’ve had a shitty day and I feel bad for you.” She patted the cushion, and Zeus jumped up next to her, turning in a circle until he sat half on Maddie and half on the couch. “Oof. You weigh a ton, Zeus.”
“What do you want to order?”
Maddie looked up, an evil smile spreading over her face. “Indian. Lots and lots of Indian food.” Their mom wasn’t a fan of the smell of curry. Lexa rolled her eyes and picked up the Indian menu, as well as the one for her favorite sushi restaurant.
* * *
• • •
Susan wrinkled her nose as soon as she walked in. “You can smell the curry all the way from downstairs.” She gave Lexa a hug and headed for a window, opening it to let in the hot summer air. “Hello, Madison. I’m assuming you’re the one who ordered Indian to irk me.”
Maddie smirked but didn’t reply. Lexa massaged her temple with one hand.
“So what happened?” Susan asked as they opened the takeout containers from the Indian and sushi restaurants.
Lexa told her everything Hsu-Ling had told them while they ate. By the time she was done, tears were running down her cheeks, and she swiped an angry hand over them.
Susan rubbed her back. “You’ve kept all this inside all these years. It’s time you let it out.”
“I hadn’t seen him in so long, and I’d accepted that he wasn’t a part of my life. So when he died, I think I felt shame that I wasn’t more upset, more than any real grief.” She rubbed a hand over her eyes, knowing she was smudging her eye makeup. “But when Hsu-Ling told us how she’d run after him and found him in the road . . .”
She stopped and tried to swallow past the lump in her throat. The sushi she’d just eaten sat like a rock in her stomach. Maddie stood and grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and handed it to her. Lexa gave her sister a grateful look and drank the cold water.
When she could speak again, she said, “I can’t believe Pong lied because he was in love with Pin-Yen.”
“I knew there was something going on.” Susan shook her head. “I could see why Pin-Yen wanted you gone, but Pong? He was so nice and seemed to like you so much.”
Lexa let out a sigh. “I wonder if Baba would have believed Pin-Yen if Pong hadn’t backed her up. All this time wasted, because Pong was in love with her.”
“It wasn’t all on Pong though,” Maddie said. “Hsu-Ling’s mother was the one who made up all those lies, who planted the pictures. She’s the one to blame.”
Susan nodded. “I could kill her. She did all this to keep you out of the family. And yet, your father still left you half.” She couldn’t keep the satisfaction out of her voice. “God, I wish I could have seen her face when she heard about the will.”
“Me too.” Maddie grinned at their mom.
“Wait.” They both looked up at Lexa when she spoke. “You’re talking to Mom again.”
Susan smiled slowly. “You are.”
“Oops.” Maddie closed her eyes. She took a big breath as if filling her body with air, and then held it for a moment before slowly exhaling out through her mouth.
“You’re doing a yogic three-part breath,” Susan said, surprise in her voice.
“Yes.” Maddie continued to breathe.
“Where’d you learn yogic three-part breath?” Lexa asked. “You hate yoga.”
Maddie opened her eyes. “I just started. I wanted to see what the hype was all about.”
Lexa caught her mom’s eyes and raised an eyebrow. Maddie had been very vocal in her derision of yoga when their mom told her she was getting her certification.
“That’s great. I’m glad you’re giving it a try,” Susan said. “Do you like it?”
“It’s not bad.” Maddie closed her eyes again. And then she said, “Oh, and by the way, I think Mike and I are getting a divorce.”
“Oh, Maddie.” Lexa and her mom exchanged a glance.
“Hey.” Susan gently shook Maddie on the shoulder until she opened her eyes. “This is a hard year for our family.”
Maddie shrugged, a gesture that was meant to convey her usual “whatever,” but Lexa could see the pain in her eyes.
“Are you sure?” Lexa reached out to brush one of Maddie’s blond curls away from her cheek.
Maddie gave her a smile filled with sadness and resignation. “I don’t know.”
“How long have you been thinking about this?”
Before Maddie could answer their mom, a phone rang, and each of the three checked to see if it was hers.
It was their mom’s. “It’s Phoenix. Hold that thought.”
While their mom talked to Phoenix, Lexa sat quietly at Maddie’s side. They both heard their mom say, “I’ll be right there.”
She ended the call and looked at them. “I’m sorry, girls. I have to get Phoenix. She’s stuck on a Metro-North train.” She walked to where she’d dropped her purse and took out a hair elastic. “She took a train to Westchester for a client, and the train she’s on hit someone. She’s stuck at the Scarsdale station indefinitely. And she has to be back in the city for a client in about an hour.”
Both Lexa and Maddie watched as their mom gathered her hair into a quick ponytail and then stood in front of them, awkwardly twisting her fingers together.
“I’m really sorry. I know this is the worst timing. For both of you.” She stopped and stared at her daughters. “Maybe I should stay and tell Phoenix to call a cab. I’m being insensitive. What w
as I thinking? And, Lexa, what about the letter from Pong? What did it say?”
“Oh, no. I totally forgot about it.” Lexa’s mouth opened. She couldn’t believe she had forgotten to get the letter from Hsu-Ling. She’d been dying to read it, and yet they’d gotten sidetracked when they started talking.
“You don’t have it?” Susan’s forehead creased. “I thought that would have been the first thing you asked for as soon as you saw Hsu-Ling.”
“It was, but we got distracted.”
“Let me call Phoenix back. You girls need me more.” Susan stopped and twisted her fingers again. “But she said there’s a huge line for the taxi and she really needs to get back into the city . . .”
Lexa stood and went to their mom. “Mom, go. Don’t worry.”
Maddie turned to Lexa. “But . . .” Lexa could see the indecision in Maddie’s eyes and knew she was battling between wanting their mom to stay and acting like she didn’t need her.
Susan looked at them. “Are you sure? Just say the word and I’ll tell Phoenix I can’t come.”
“We’ll be fine. Maybe I’ll go and get the letter from Hsu-Ling and then we can catch up once you get Phoenix.”
Susan stood for another moment, her eyes darting between Lexa and Maddie. “Okay. Thanks.” She flashed a last look of apology and was gone.
Lexa and Maddie both plopped onto the couch at the same time. Lexa bumped her shoulder against her sister’s. “I guess this is the way things are going to be now. Mom’s got someone new to worry about.”
“Yeah.” Maddie leaned into Lexa’s shoulder, her hair falling forward to hide her face.
“Hey,” Lexa said, reaching over to brush back Maddie’s hair. “I’m here for you.”
Maddie turned toward Lexa, her eyes shiny with unshed tears. “I’m here for you too.”
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