“We have to do a walk of shame up to the roof, don’t we?” Izzy says as she shimmies into a clean pair of underwear from her drawer. “It’s not like I can just text them and tell them to go home without saying goodbye.”
“It ain’t so bad.” I pause before I put my shirt back on, wrapping Izzy in a gentle hug. “I won’t let ‘em tease ya too much.”
“My hero.” Izzy nuzzles my shoulder, and suddenly I know this is the right moment. It’s time to give Izzy her real present. I reach into my pocket, pulling out the brochure before I lose my courage.
A wrinkle appears on Izzy’s forehead. “Riley?”
“Aw, it’s nothin’,” I stammer. “Just, um, your birthday present.”
I offer the brochure, and Izzy takes it. Her eyes go wide as she reads, and for a second, I think I’ve screwed the pooch. Then she smiles, showing all her teeth, and relief melts over me faster than butter in a frying pan.
“Riley?” Izzy says again, only this time she’s hopeful, not apprehensive.
“I wanna sign up for some private sessions here. Maybe go to a group meeting or two. Just, y’know, to see if it’s somethin’ I might be interested in down the line.”
Izzy squeals and throws her arms around my neck, squeezing the air right out of me. I cough but return the hug as best I can. She’s vibrating with excitement, and I know I’ve made the right choice. “I shouldn’t be so happy about this,” she mumbles into my neck, planting short, eager kisses against it. “I should tell you it’s too soon.”
“Not too soon. I’ll take my time decidin’. But this way, you know I’m takin’ it seriously. Makin’ sure each step is right for both of us.”
She lets me go, framing my face in her hands and drawing me down for a real kiss. It’s deep, but also tender, and I can’t help but moan into her mouth. When we pull apart, I notice her lipstick is smudged. I do my best to fix it with my thumb, but it’s a lost cause.
“How ‘bout I go up and tell the others you’ll be a minute? That way I can take the brunt of the teasin’ while you fix your makeup.”
Izzy shakes her head. “No. I’m spending the rest of the night right by your side, Riley Evans. They can wait another five minutes.”
I know it’ll be more like ten, but I nod in agreement. “We were already rude party guests, slippin’ out like we did. Guess it don’t matter now.”
“But I’m not a guest. I’m the birthday girl, so I make the rules. Now put your shirt back on. That bowtie of yours is cute.”
I groan, rolling my eyes toward the ceiling. “Dammit! I coulda used the bowtie for your arms! Didn’t have to fuss with that stupid belt.”
“Next time,” Izzy says.
A grin spreads across my face. There’ll definitely be a next time, probably later tonight once the party’s over for real, but for now I’m content. This turned out better than I could’ve hoped. Even though I don’t have a crystal ball, some deep part of me knows that the future—our future, mine and Izzy’s—is gonna turn out better than expected, too.
Chapter Ten - Isabeau
I FIDGET ON MY therapist’s waiting room couch, failing to get comfortable. The cushions sag beneath me, and the back support leaves a lot to be desired. If I sit here much longer, the sofa might swallow me whole. To distract myself, I flip through some of the pictures on my phone. It’s about time for a new background, but I’m not sure what to pick.
Choose one of Riley. You certainly won’t mind seeing their face several times a day.
It’s true. A year into our relationship, I still get butterflies whenever I see Riley’s smile. But using a picture of us as a background, or even just a picture of them, feels kind of cheesy. Maybe it’s because part of me always wished Natasha would have kept a picture of me on her phone…
I wrinkle my nose. I’ve been doing a good job not thinking about Natasha lately, but she still pops into my head from time to time, especially on therapy days. Well, I won’t let her make my mood worse today.
I scroll through my photos until I find one of me and Riley together, sitting in a booth at Crossbones. They’ve got their arm around me, and their cheek is smushed on top of my head. I add the picture to my background and lockscreen. Sometimes, being happy just takes a bit of effort…or a lot of effort.
“Isabeau?”
I spot my therapist wheeling out to greet me in her chair. Janine is a mermaid, although she keeps most of her tail covered under a comfy-looking crochet blanket. Her upper half is humanoid, but glittery blue scales peek out above the collar of her blouse, and her long green hair cascades over her shoulders like strands of seaweed. She reminds me of a beautiful Disney princess, if a beautiful Disney princess looked about sixty by human standards.
“How are you doing today?”
I put my phone in my purse. “All right, thanks. What about you? Any luck reasoning with your neighbor?”
Janine chuckles. “No. She keeps asking if her kids can use the ‘pool’ in my backyard, no matter how many times I explain that it’s a therapeutic saltwater habitat.”
I roll my eyes. “Humans, right?”
“Enough about my problems. Let’s get started, and you can tell me what’s going on with you.”
I pull myself free from the sunken divot in the couch and follow Janine to her office. It’s warm and cozy, although the air is damp thanks to the humidifier pumping out steam in one corner.
“How has your week been?”
I sigh. “Work stress. Bill stress. Just stress. My landlord wants to raise my rent again.”
“Again?”
“Well, I guess it’s been a few years…five, or maybe seven…ten?” My forehead wrinkles as I try to remember. “Oh no. I’m becoming one of those vampires, aren’t I? The kind who forgets what shorter lifespan schedules are like.”
“It doesn’t surprise me that your frame of reference for time is changing. We all deal with it as we get older, some species more than others.”
“I guess.”
“If your landlord does raise your rent, what will you do?”
I chew my lip. I have a few thoughts on the subject but bringing them up makes me feel oddly guilty. “It’d be really nice if Riley moved in with me, but I don’t want to pressure them. And what if they think it’s just because I want help with my rent?”
Janine adjusts the frames of her glasses. “Would letting Riley help be so bad? They’re your partner. Helping you should make them happy.”
It makes sense. Dividing our financial burdens in half and contributing to one household would make things easier for both of us. “I guess I always thought moving in with a new partner was supposed to be more romantic.”
“Who says it can’t be romantic, too? Stuff can be two things.”
“Stuff can be two things,” I repeat, snickering to myself. “Wise words.”
Janine shrugs. “It might not be a quote for the ages, but it’s true. Just because asking Riley to move in with you is practical doesn’t mean it can’t be romantic as well.”
That gets the gears in my head turning. “Maybe if I frame it in a romantic way, I can get them to understand how I feel.”
“Sounds like a good plan,” Janine says. “Now, I have to ask, are you sure you’re prepared to take this step?”
It’s a good question, but I struggle to articulate an answer. My feelings are all jumbled up, and it’s hard to sort through them. "I think so? Well, my heart thinks so, but my brain has a bunch of alarm bells going off.”
“Because it didn’t work out last time. Have you considered asking your friends what they think?”
“I’m sure Elyse will have an opinion. Plus, if I get her involved from the start, she’s less likely to be jealous.”
Janine’s ridged brow arches above her ocean-blue eyes. “Why would Elyse be jealous of your happiness? Does she worry you’ll choose Riley over her?”
“I’ll choose whichever one of them doesn’t ask me to choose. But right now, neither of them is asking, which mea
ns I made a good decision. And that means moving in with Riley is probably the right choice.”
“It seems like you’ve figured it out for yourself already.”
More of my tension melts away. “Guess so.”
“Don’t be afraid to mull this over for a while. You have time to think about it.”
Deep down, part of me already knows what decision I’ll make. It’s less about what I want to say, but how to say it. I want Riley to be excited about moving in with me. But how do I ask? And what if they say no?
My face falls, and Janine notices. “Where did your brain go just now?”
I stare into my lap, twisting my hands. “What if Riley doesn’t want to move in with me? I know they’re serious about us, but it might be too soon.” Even as I say that, my mind wanders back to the week before my birthday, when I came home and found Riley doing my dishes. They don’t hesitate to make themselves at home in my apartment, and I’m always happy to see them. In fact, they’re one of the only people whose presence gives me energy instead of draining it away.
“If Riley says no, I’m sure they’ll have a good reason,” Janine says. “You’ll process that reason together and decide what to do as a couple.”
I let out a long breath. Together. As a couple. Riley and I are a team. We’ll make this decision as a team.
***
“Yes, absolutely!” Elyse says, in a voice that’s far too loud for the Scream Bean. Both her palms are flat on the table, and she’s practically vibrating with excitement. “Do it. Do it soon. Next month? I’ll give you time off to help Riley pack their stuff if you want.”
I laugh, leaning back in my chair. My mug of tea warms my chilly hands, and the sweet smell brings with it a sense of peace and relief. Not many people go in for a mixture of blood and cinnamon, but I like it, almost as much as I like the fact that Elyse has taken my news so well.
“I didn’t expect you to be so enthusiastic.”
Elyse huffs. “Can’t your best friend be happy for you?”
“Of course.” I stall by taking a sip of my tea, trying to figure out the best way to word my concerns. “But you didn’t react this way when I moved in with Natasha.”
“That’s because Natasha’s a stone-cold bitch,” Elyse says with a roll her eyes. “Riley’s a sweetheart. They’re good for you.”
I arch an eyebrow, setting my mug back down. “I agree, but aren’t you a bit…”
“Jealous of all the time Riley gets to spend with you?” Elyse finishes for me. “Maybe once in a while. But that’s the beauty of this arrangement. If you move in with them, you’ll spend more time together at home. That means you’ll get your Riley fix there, and you can go out with me more.”
“I’m not sure that’s quite how it works.”
Elyse gives me a knowing smirk. “Oh no? Couples who live together go on less time-consuming dates, because they already see a lot of each other. Your home-alone time is about to merge with your Riley time, which leaves more time for me overall. Plus, Riley can cook, so you don’t need to order a bunch of food whenever I come over.”
“It’s certainly an…interesting theory, but you’ll have to ask Riley nicely if you expect them to cook for you.”
“They will. I’m irresistible.”
My smile fades a little. “Don’t get too far ahead of yourself. I haven’t asked yet. Riley could say no.”
Elyse snorts. “Like Riley would ever say no to you. You’ve got that wolf wrapped around your little finger.”
I rest my elbows on the table, looking thoughtfully at Elyse. “How should I ask them?”
“Riley’s a pretty straightforward person. Just spit it out. ‘Hey, we already see a lot of each other. I never get tired of being around you. Would you like to move in with me?’”
It sounds simple, but my stomach churns with uncertainty. “I feel like it should be more than that. Asking them means a lot to me. I never expected to…” My voice trails off, and I stare into my mug, avoiding Elyse’s eyes. The truth is, I never thought I would move in with someone again after Natasha, at least not for a very long time.
“Where’s this fear coming from, huh?” Elyse reaches out, putting her hand over mine. “You were the one who asked Riley out in the first place.”
I chuckle at the memory. That particular day has imprinted itself on my heart. I’ll be able to revisit it hundreds of years in the future, no matter what happens. “I couldn’t help myself. They were so cute, and I could tell they were checking me out. I knew they wouldn’t make the first move, so…”
“You were brave. You can do it again.”
I squeeze Elyse’s hand. I really hope she’s right but asking Riley back to my place for one night isn’t the same as asking them to move in with me. Making our relationship official, opening up about my past, meeting Riley’s family and introducing them to my mother, their sessions at the immortality counseling center? All those events are stepping stones on a very specific path. The destination at the end of that path could be eternal happiness, or a whole lot of pain.
Probably both. Life is like that. Never just one or the other. My chest constricts, and I drop Elyse’s hand, searching for some semblance of calm within myself. It isn’t easy. My doubts and worries swell from faint whispers into a shouting storm. At first, they’re all I can hear. Riley will say no. They don’t really love you. Why do you think this relationship will turn out better than your last one?
I take a deep breath, calling up an image of Riley. I think about their light dusting of freckles. About the way their cheeks dimple. About the sound of their voice, their laugh. How fluffy their fur is when they transform, and how their gentle blue eyes look exactly the same no matter what shape they’ve taken. I think about how good they smell, and how warm their hugs are. I even think about how they taste—rich and delicious, but also like coming home.
Maybe it’s strange, but Riley’s become something like comfort food for me. I want all those things, for as long as Riley wants to give them to me. And aren’t they worth the risk?
“Yes,” I whisper. Elyse stares at me from across the table, concern written on her face. She smiles when I meet her gaze, and I smile back. “I can do it again.”
***
I wrap my arms around myself, staring up at the pale grey face of the full moon. Its shape becomes fuzzy and less distinct as the first rays of sunshine break over Central Park, but it doesn’t disappear from the sky. Sometimes it hangs around longer in winter, which means Riley gets a few extra minutes to run around in wolf form.
Elyse is generous about giving me time off during Riley’s monthlies, but even when I have to work nights, I make an effort to meet them after their runs. I like tucking them in the morning after, bringing them breakfast in bed, bundling them up safe and warm in covers that carry their scent. They usually fall asleep in a matter of minutes.
Maybe someday soon, it’ll be our bed they snuggle into after their runs. It’s a nice thought, and I smile while I wait with the small crowd by the volunteer tables. Some of the people there are working, while others watch for their werewolf loved ones to come in. Several faces are familiar to me, and I exchange a few polite nods.
After a while, the moon melts into the sky, becoming indistinguishable from the hazy dawn. My grin widens when I catch sight of a fluffy golden form loping toward me. I’m always able to recognize Riley, even from a distance. As I watch, they transform, switching their gait from four legs to two. Their fur recedes, their muzzle shortens into a nose, and their wagging tail disappears. It’s a surprisingly smooth shift, and they finish right before coming to a stop in front of me.
“Hey there, sunshine,” Riley says, standing naked in the early dawn light. I’ve never known anyone with the ability to balance adorable and sexy quite like they do. Their shaggy mop of straw-colored hair is endearing, and so is the faint dusting of freckles on the bridge of their nose, but their tall, lean form is packed with a surprising amount of strength. They’ve got just the ri
ght mix of hard muscle and soft padding, and it’s an intoxicating combination.
I hug them. “Morning, mon chou. How was your run?”
“Just fine.” Riley kisses my temple, withdrawing from my arms. I hand them their boxers, then their binder, helping them dress quickly so they won’t be cold. Their temperature runs hot—a major benefit for snuggling—but that doesn’t mean they don’t find the nippy winter air uncomfortable at this time of year. After pulling Riley’s sweater over their head, I plant a kiss on their lips, which are pleasantly warm.
“How was work?” they ask.
I wince. “Well…”
“That bad, huh?” Riley ambles over to the sign-in sheet and scribbles their name on a clipboard. Once they set the pen down, I take their hand in mine, and we stroll out of Central Park together.
“Not bad, just embarrassing.”
“More internet porn?”
“Why do these people think they can get away with searching for porn at the center when they know literally nothing about computers?”
“What was it this time?”
“Ugh. SeXXXy single selkies or something. I know the sealfolk have the whole mystical attraction thing going on, but seriously. Can’t people wait until they’re using their own computers?” It’s a useless complaint. Lots of my students don’t actually have their own computers, which is one reason they come to the center and use ours. Unfortunately, lack of access, combined with lack of experience, leads to lots of awkward situations.
“Could be worse,” Riley says.
“I try not to think about how. At least the FBI didn’t get involved this time.”
Riley chuckles. “Poor Mr. Kendrick. How’s he doin’?”
“Cleared. He finally managed to convince them he was only googling ‘how to make a bomb’ for book research. I shudder to think what else comes up in authors’ Google searches.”
“Doubt you’ll be gettin’ a signed copy of the novel, then.”
We walk in silence for a while, simply enjoying each other’s company. Riley’s apartment isn’t far, and despite early morning traffic on the sidewalks, people of all kinds hurrying to work, we get arrive at our destination quickly. “C’mon in,” Riley says, even though they don’t really need to. The downstairs welcome mat with the smiling bats is invitation enough.
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