We decide to be lazy and take the elevator. I keep hold of Riley’s hand as the numbers tick upward, trapped within my own thoughts. What if Riley actually likes living here? It’s closer to the park than my place, and to their work. I could always move in with them.
I’m not enthusiastic about the idea, but I won’t rule it out, either. Riley’s apartment is only a little cramped, and they’ve added a lot more personality to it over the past year. There are plenty of bright posters on the walls, and their beloved spider plant is decorated with Christmas lights.
“What’s up, buttercup?”
I notice Riley staring at me. “Just thinking. How about I tuck you in? You can doze while I make breakfast.”
“I might fall asleep.”
“Then I’ll feed you when you wake up.”
“Thanks, sunshine.”
We walk down the short hallway to Riley’s room. They collapse into bed right away, and I shake my head, laughing softly. “You could’ve taken off your shoes and socks.”
Riley turns their big, pleading blue eyes straight on me and pouts. “Help?”
I remove their tennis shoes—Riley calls them sneakers, of course, thanks to their Georgian upbringing—one at a time, setting them carefully beside the bed. Next come their socks, and they groan as I help them sit up so I can pull off their sweater and binder. They wriggle out of their sweatpants awkwardly, mostly without help, but I’m the one who tosses them in the hamper. I enjoy taking care of Riley this way, mostly because of how grateful they are.
“Thanks,” Riley says, rewarding me with a sleepy smile.
I drop a kiss on top of their hair, which smells like the trees outside. “You’re welcome.”
I start to leave, but Riley wraps an arm around my waist, pulling me back for another kiss on the lips. It’s soft, but long, and I forget my worries until they break away, nuzzling their nose against mine. “You’re off today, right? Stay here?”
“I’d love to.”
This time, there are no objections as I head for the kitchen. I whip up some scrambled eggs and bacon on Riley’s stove, even though they’ll probably be too tired to eat. By the time the eggs are done, I hear quiet snoring. Hopefully, Riley’s nose will wake them up long enough for a few bites.
My hunch proves right. When I enter the bedroom, they crack their eyes open and sniff the air. “Breakfast?”
“Right here.”
I slide an extra pillow under Riley’s back, then set the plate in their lap. They shovel the eggs into their mouth with a blissed-out look on their face, and then start crunching on the bacon, moaning with happiness. “S’good. Fank oo.”
“Á rien, mon chou.”
“S’not nothin’,” Riley says through a mouthful of food, only pausing to swallow. “You take good care of me. I appreciate it.”
“I know.” I look down and notice Riley’s plate is empty except for a few crumbs. Apparently, their hunger won out over exhaustion. I take the plate away, and Riley shimmies back under the covers, sprawling out with all four limbs stretched to the edges of the mattress. If I want to nap with them later, I’ll have a bit of trouble finding room to curl up. “Sleep sweet, baby. I’ll be back soon.”
Riley yawns, snuggling into their pillow. “Okay.” I leave the bedroom, but before I slip into the hallway, their voice stops me. It’s soft and sleepy, but clearly audible: “Wish you were always here.”
I freeze, the plate shaking in my hands. It’s a sweet sentiment, so I don’t know why it’s got me so nervous, but it does. The cold sensation of fear coiling in the pit of my stomach is impossible to ignore.
Once I regain the ability to move, I hurry from the room and into the kitchen. I put Riley’s plate and fork in the dishwasher, then pace, staring at my feet as they carry me back and forth across the tiled floor.
What’s wrong with me? Why am I panicking? I’m the one who wants to move in with them. I grab a seat at the table and close my eyes, letting my chin drop forward. My hands clench on my thighs a few times, and it takes some effort to relax them.
Only by reminding myself that Riley is fast asleep, incapable of making any decisions, do I manage to bring myself down. I pull out my phone, staring at the background picture of me and Riley. We look happy together, so happy I have to believe we’ll stay that way for a long time.
Isn’t that what Riley says they want? For me to always be here with them? I lower my cheek to the table, letting my hand and the phone rest limp beside my smushed face. Nothing, good or bad, is going to happen right this second. I have time.
It takes almost an hour before I gather enough courage to return to Riley’s bedroom. They’re just the way I left them, snoring peacefully and drooling on one of their pillows. They don’t seem to notice me slipping into the bedroom, and they barely stir as I strip out of my clothes, pull back the covers, and climb into bed beside them.
Riley’s bed is warm and cozy, and it smells like them. The scent puts me at ease as I squeeze into the largest open patch of bedding, wriggling underneath one of their heavy arms to make a spot for myself. They groan and hook their elbow around my waist, pulling me back against their chest.
I tense as Riley’s lips graze the back of my neck, but they remain asleep. After nuzzling affectionately at the soft spot behind my ear, their hot breaths even out, and their snoring resumes. I release a long sigh. Relaxing is a process, requiring me to concentrate on each individual muscle, but Riley’s presence is helpful. Being near them puts me at ease.
That’s the instinct I choose to trust most of all. How Riley makes me feel. Our relationship might make my brain nervous, but Riley always makes my heart feel at home.
***
I awakened to a hot, wet mouth on my neck and soft fingertips stroking my inner thigh. My mouth twitches at the ticklish touch before falling open in a moan. Riley’s body is pressed against mine from behind, wrapped around me like a warm blanket.
“Was wonderin’ how long it’d take you to wake up.” They tug my earlobe gently between their teeth, cupping a hand between my legs. “This okay?”
It’s more than okay. Riley must have teased me while I slept, because the indirect pressure of their palm makes me realize how needy and sensitive I already am. My clit throbs against the heel of their hand, and wetness spills out of me to greet their fingers. I’m glad I took off my clothes earlier, because now there are no barriers between us.
I roll onto my back and spread my legs, welcoming Riley on top of me. Their weight keeps me in a sleepy, relaxed state even while the slow-burning fire inside me swells into a hungry blaze. I coil my limbs around them, and they hitch my knees up to their waist, rocking forward to apply pressure between us.
Riley’s stomach offers me a firm surface to grind against. My first stroke paints a trail of wetness along their abdominal muscles, which makes the next thrust smooth and slippery. Riley cups my rear, urging me to rock faster. Their lips catch mine, and we kiss until they’re breathless and my heart is beating much faster than usual.
“What d’you want?” Riley asks, gazing down into my eyes.
“Anything,” I answer honestly. I’ll take anything Riley is willing to give. Fast or slow, rough or gentle. As long as it’s them.
Riley nibbles my neck, finding a place to suck above my collarbone. They grasp my hips in urgent hands, guiding me, helping me to grind. I want to look at their face, but the feelings are too intense. I close my eyes, chewing my lower lip. Something in me needs this to last. If I watch Riley watching me, I won’t be able to hold out.
“Izzy…” Riley’s thumb swipes along my lip. I force my eyes open. “What is it, babygirl?”
I thread my fingers through Riley’s hair and quiet them with a kiss. Their concern is sweet, but I don’t want to talk. I want this, just this, more than anything. Riley seems to get the message. They kiss their way down my body, taking their time, lingering in all the places they know I love and lavishing them with attention. They place feather-light kisses
along my jawline, drag their tongue along my shoulder, even suck a spot on the underside of my right breast long enough to leave a bruise.
Only after I’ve squirmed for several minutes does Riley roll their tongue over one of my nipples. Forcing me to wait has left me so sensitive, I almost can’t handle it. They stay at my breasts for a long time, sucking the peaks to stiff, straining points. Even the soft whisper of their breath is enough to make the wet buds throb. My hips jerk in answer, and I drag my clit against Riley’s stomach, smearing more wetness on their skin.
“Easy,” Riley mutters against my sternum. “I got you.”
I got you. I don’t know how Riley knew I needed this, but they did, just like always. It’s an emotional release as well as a physical one, and I relax as they kiss down my belly, still murmuring endearments. “So beautiful. Perfect. Can’t get enough of you.”
It’s almost embarrassing how much I crave Riley’s praise and approval. By the time they reach the join of my legs, I’m begging, sobbing with need. “Riley. Riley, baby, please…” That’s all I can say, Riley and please, until their mouth closes over me, and I forget how to speak.
The fire of their tongue is gentle, but persistent. It has me clutching their hair and arching off the mattress in an instant. My very foundation quakes, and I’m afraid I’ll come before I get to fully enjoy their talents. Luckily, Riley knows me. They back off, nuzzling my inner thigh until I calm down enough for them to resume.
“That’s it, sunshine,” they mumble between open-mouthed kisses. “Relax for me.” They work their way around my clit, teasing the root, until I’m so swollen the air itself hurts. My whole body is one quivering heartbeat, hammering harder each time Riley takes me in their mouth.
They start with my tip, sucking lightly. Before it becomes too much, they widen their area of attention, fluttering the flat of their tongue between my lips and lavishing attention on each one. When my hips buck too hard, they pause, biting down on the softest part of my leg until I fall still.
Riley’s gentle demands are unlike anything other partners have given me. They can command me and my body without being harsh, and every touch, no matter how firm, is full of so much love and tenderness that my heart overflows. I feel it in the way they cradle my hips and the steady strokes of their tongue.
Eventually, Riley finds my entrance. It’s enough to make me whine and grip their hair, but when I do, they draw back. They don’t have to tell me that I’m on their time. If I want my turn, I’ll have to wait. Only after I melt back into the mattress do they slide inside me. Hot, silky pressure spreads me open, and spots flash in front of my eyes.
I’m hungry, so hungry, and soon the burning pit in my belly is all I can think about. I toss my head from side to side, but Riley’s scent has drifted up into my nose. They’ve got my heart pounding twice as fast as usual, and my body needs blood almost as badly as it needs release. I need both. I need Riley.
“Please,” I rasp, the only word I can manage.
Luckily, Riley knows what I need. They realize that I can’t bear to lose their mouth, but they also know if I can’t taste them soon, I might very well pass out. Before my brain can come up with a solution, Riley turns around on top of me. I sigh with relief as they swing their leg over my face, positioning their knees above my shoulders.
They don’t need to ask. As soon as Riley lowers themself over me, I’m off, licking and sucking every bit of slick, sweet pink flesh I can reach. They’re wet, salty, and the smell of their need fills my lungs. I could breathe them in forever, and I want to drink everything they have to offer.
I spend a blissfully long time between Riley’s legs. Sometimes I graze my fangs over their flesh, which they seem to enjoy, judging by their moans. Their right thigh tenses as I nose their femoral artery, and they suck my clit harder, causing my hips jerk. That’s about the clearest ‘yes’ I can expect while both our mouths are busy.
There’s no resistance as I sink my fangs into Riley’s flesh. They exhale deeply against me, and their body relaxes on top of mine. All the tension seeps out of their legs, and a flood of sweetness fills my mouth. Their blood gives me a high I’ve never felt drinking from anyone else, and I’ll never tire of its taste.
Riley’s hips start rocking, seeking attention, so I press my fingers between their legs. I toy with their clit first, rubbing through the hood, but they shift slightly until I’m lined up with their entrance. Riley isn’t always up for penetration, but it seems like they’re in the mood today. I slip inside with two fingers, savoring the way their warm muscles clench around me.
It doesn’t take much searching to find Riley’s sensitive spots. I have all of them memorized. Soon they’re whining between my legs, tickling me with needy vibrations. Their licking has become less intense, more sporadic, but I don’t mind. I’m focused on making them come and keeping my hunger in check. This lovemaking session might have started sweet and lazy, but I’m waking up thanks to the free meal.
“Izzy,” Riley mutters against my thigh. “Fuck, Izzy, make me come.”
I can’t help but give Riley what they want. They’ve been so good to me already and making them happy is my favorite thing to do. I detach from their leg, licking gently to make sure my fangs’ puncture-marks are sealed up, and fasten my lips around their clit, rolling my tongue over its tip.
Riley comes right away. They stiffen, then sigh, quivering with a surprising amount of force. Their soft blonde curls tickle my nose, but I resist the temptation to laugh, holding on as long as I can. I can bear a little discomfort if it means sustaining their moment.
As their contractions speed up around my fingers, Riley pushes inside of me as well, seemingly determined to return the favor. The sudden stretch sets me trembling too, and before I know it, I’m coming right along with them, letting the waves carry me. The climaxes Riley provides always make me feel like I’m at the mercy of something incredibly big and powerful, like a storm or an ocean. I’m hopelessly addicted to the vulnerability as well as the physical sensations.
We find a rhythm together, riding the waves until Riley’s sweaty form collapses on top of mine, squishing me against the mattress. I let go of their clit and withdraw my fingers, placing a tender kiss on the thigh I didn’t bite. “You all right, baby?”
Riley laughs breathlessly. “M’good. So good.” They rake their blunt claws down my legs, and I squirm, shaking with giggles.
“Stop. Tickles.”
“Mm.”
Riley rolls off me with an adorable huff, flips over, and scoots up to join me at the head of the bed. They snuggle against my side, draping an arm over my waist. “Love you, sunshine.”
As I gaze into their shining blue eyes, something inside me knows this is the right moment. “Move in with me? I’ve been thinking about it, and…just, move in with me.”
Riley’s bold blonde brows lift in surprise. Their lips twitch, as though they’re about to smile, but then their forehead furrows. “What?”
“Move in with me,” I repeat, before I lose my nerve. “Or I’ll move in with you. I don’t care which.”
Riley gapes like a goldfish, looking adorably confused or, at least, it’s adorable at first. It becomes much less cute and much more frightening when they remain silent, as if they don’t know how to answer. How can they not know the right answer? No…oh no. They don’t want to move in with me. This was a mistake. A huge mistake—
“C’n I think about it?”
It’s my turn to say, “What?” and stare stupidly at Riley’s face, like I’m not really seeing it at all.
“I, uh…I asked if I could think about it. It sounds nice…”
Riley doesn’t have the heart to add a ‘but’ to the end of the sentence, but I can hear it in the silence.
A hard lump forms in my throat. “Oh. Of course.”
“Izzy…”
Riley leans closer, cupping my cheek in their hand. “I love you. No, listen. I love you.”
It still feels like m
y heart has a hole in it, but those words are my lifeline. As disappointed and embarrassed as I am by Riley’s non-answer, I can’t help but cling to them. “I love you, too.”
“I’ll think about it,” Riley says, in a tone that promises the truth.
“Okay.”
***
“What do you mean, they said no?”
Elyse’s indignance should make me feel better, but it’s still hard to meet her eyes. We’re sitting in her office, grabbing lunch between classes, with her sitting on the desk and me in her usual chair. She offered it to me. Elyse is always good at reading my moods, and she knew I was upset the minute I walked into work today.
“They didn’t say no,” I mumble, letting the straw of my juice box slide from my lips. The end is all chewed up, visible proof of my anxiety. “Riley said they’d think about it.”
Elyse isn’t the least bit mollified. “What is there to think about?” She gestures with her sandwich, which she’s only taken two bites from, because her mouth has barely stopped moving except when I’m talking. “Riley loves you. You love them. You should live together.”
“Not everyone likes living with people,” I say, even though it pains me. “Riley grew up with seven siblings. Maybe they just want a little more time alone before they commit to sharing a space with someone else again…possibly forever.”
Elyse glares. “Stop being so reasonable. You should be pissed.”
I want to be, but Riley has been so sweet and reasonable about the whole thing. They’ve been extra attentive, bringing me flowers, making sure to get my favorite blood at the store, texting throughout the evening on the days when I’m busy. On the other hand, they haven’t offered a concrete explanation, and I’ve been too chickenshit to ask.
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