Riding for Redemption

by Bonnie R. Paulson

  A nuzzle on her shoulder and then a seeking nose pushed at the side of Sara Beth’s head, just above her ear. Soft lips nibbled gently on Sara Beth’s silky curls.

  Glancing up, Sara Beth accepted the gesture from the horse. With wet relief, Sara Beth reached for the long taut muscles running the length of Sugar’s neck and stroked from the top to as far as she could reach on the bottom. Burrowing the side of her face into the silky strength of Sugar’s cheek, Sara Beth wrapped her other arm around the strong neck.

  Everything she’d lost and what she’d regained since that stormy day crashed around her. Safe with Sugar, Sara Beth lost it. She cried from deep inside, the emotion causing her body to shudder. But soon, the sadness and loss eased to allow her excitement to grow. She quieted, allowing the presence of the large animal to calm her.

  Softly blowing air through her lips, Sugar seemed to accept Sara Beth’s apology which delighted Sara Beth more than the welcome warmth spreading around her heart.

  “Maybe you’ll let me ride you? Or maybe we can at least spend time together, if riding seems too rushed.” She patted the horse, grateful for the animal’s inability to hold onto anger – if she had even been mad.

  Either way, Sara Beth needed to see the horses more and Sugar held a special piece of her since she was the last horse she’d ridden with working legs.

  Sara Beth slid her fingers down the bridge of Sugar’s nose. “I’m going to ride you and we’re going to get along great. You just wait.” And they would become friends – because they needed each other.

  ANTICIPATION CREPT up to shadow the adrenaline still coursing through her from the ride and the time she’d spent with Sugar.

  Lately, Sara Beth had been a pill – especially to her sister. No getting around it. And the Sara Beth before the move to Rourke Ranch would never have punished anyone else for her internal struggles, let alone her one and only supporter.

  A little tired from the day, Sara Beth struggled up the ramp, but made it, coming to rest for a minute beside the front door.

  Voices carried to her through the screen door. Good, Michael and Rosie were together. They both needed to hear what she had to say.

  She pulled at the handle, letting herself in. Rolling across the wood flooring, Sara Beth longed to be on the horse riding for just a little bit longer – oh, crud, whatever, she’d take a whole lot longer on that horse, if she had her way.

  The talking stopped and Rosie appeared at the doorway to the kitchen. Wariness twisted her lips to the side. “Sara Beth? Are you okay?”

  “I’m great. Johnny took me to Lonely Rivers and I used a therapeutic saddle to ride a horse. It was amazing.” Sara Beth rolled past Rosie into the kitchen where Michael leaned on the counter, grinning. Her eyebrows knitted closer together. “Did you have a hand in my day today, Michael?”

  He offered a half-shrug. “I might. I might not. Depends on how much fun you had.”

  “Thank you.” Sara Beth waited until Rosie joined them before continuing. “Actually, I’m glad you’re both here. I wanted to say something, but I think it needs to be to both of you.” She shook her head, folding her hands in her lap. “No, I know it needs to be to both of you and it’s long overdue.”

  Rosie crossed her arms and scooted onto a stool beside Michael. She leaned against his arm and watched Sara Beth while worry formed creases at the outside of her mouth.

  Sighing, Sara Beth bit back tears. She didn’t want to apologize, but she had to do it. They deserved so much better than how she’d treated them. She cleared her throat with a slight cough. “I owe you both a lot for all that you’ve done since the accident – even before that, too.”

  Rosie moved to speak, like she was going to argue.

  Sara Beth pinched her fingers together, like she smashed anything that Rosie might want to say. “I’m not done.” She looked at each of them in turn. “My attitude has sucked, I’ve been selfish and I’ve thrown pity parties left and right. But I’m not even going to start there.” She folded her hands in her lap, pressing her fingernails into her palms. “Michael, I’m so sorry I took Sugar and rode her without your permission. I could have hurt the horse. I know it’s not a consolation or anything, but I really did just want to impress you so that maybe you’d let me help train with you.” Her words fell out, almost too fast to be understood. Humility hurt sometimes...

  “You do impress me, Sara Beth. I haven’t wanted to say anything about Sugar and what happened because I figured you had your own things to deal with, but thank you for the apology. That makes me feel like you care about this family.” He nodded, the movement tossing a dark lock of hair onto his forehead.

  Rosie didn’t say anything. Tears welled in her eyes and she swiped at them before they could trace trails down her cheeks.

  Pointing at Michael, Sara Beth whispered to Rosie. “Did you hear him say family?”

  Rosie rushed forward, bending at the waist to hug her sister while Michael grinned.

  Sara Beth could do anything in that moment. She was invincible.

  THE BOX OF CARACUS offspring information normally hid under the small table Sara Beth used when she sat on the deck. But right then, she used the lid as a hard surface to finish filling out the application for Miss Wrangler Montana, signing her name at the bottom with a flourish. Folding it just so, Sara Beth tucked the four page document into an envelope and handed it to Rosie who waited patiently for Sara Beth to finish it.

  “Got it. I’ll be back. Lisa should be here any minute, you might want to tuck that away.” Rosie pointed toward the box. She thwapped the paper on her hand. “Did you want me to put it back in its niche?”

  Taking a deep breath, Sara Beth barely shook her head. “No, thanks. Today’s the day. I’m going to tell Lisa.” She punctuated the comment with a sharp slap of her hand on the box lid. The resulting noise loud in the sudden silence.

  Rosie paused, doubt wrinkling the smooth skin around her eyes and mouth. “Are you sure? Do you want me to be here, too?”

  “No. I think I want to tell her myself. Is that okay?” Sara Beth watched Rosie for signs that she didn’t feel like she was being pushed out. The last thing Sara Beth wanted to do was leave Rosie out of something she wanted to be a part of. But at the same time, Sara Beth did everything with Rosie or with her knowledge and talking to Lisa by herself boosted her new feelings of independence.

  Rosie’s concern smoothed and she stuck her tongue out at Sara Beth like she’d just escaped a death sentence and could joke about it. “No, that’s great. If you need me, I’ll be right inside after I run this to the mailbox. I don’t want to be there – I’d rather rip my toenails off with salad tongs.” She made a goofy face at Sara Beth and the held up the envelope. “I’ll be right back. Let me know if you need anything.”

  Things had calmed drastically between Rosie and Sara Beth – something as little as a heartfelt apology had soothed the turbulent waters between them. Sara Beth didn’t even have a real reason why she’d been so bothered by everything.

  She rolled her shoulders, hands firmly on the box.

  Lisa’s truck turned onto the drive in the distance.

  Sara Beth closed her eyes. She had this. Nerves fluttered in her stomach. What did she have to be nervous about? She’d been excited to hear she had more siblings. Why wouldn’t Lisa feel the same way? She was probably lonely, in pain, and missing family. All the things Sara Beth had always known she’d feel more of without Rosie. Siblings gave more of a cemented sensation in the world.

  Family could do that.

  Perky boot thunks announced Lisa’s arrival. Sara Beth clenched the corners of the box and opened her eyes. A chill spread goose bumps over her skin. Pasting a smile that she wasn’t sure she was feeling on her lips, she lifted her gaze to Lisa who watched her with comical amusement. “Hi, Lisa.”

  “Sara Beth, everything okay?” She arched her eyebrow and swished her hair behind her shoulder. Rather than taking her normal seat, Lisa claimed the railing – the exa
ct same spot Johnny usually sat in.

  The fact didn’t sit well with Sara Beth and she frowned. “Yea, everything’s good. I actually wanted to show you something.”

  “Okay, first, did you talk with Rosie about your goals and stuff? I’m anxious to get started planning our course of action.” She leaned forward, hand outstretched for whatever surprise Sara Beth had for her.

  Slowly, almost as if she regretted doing it even as she did it, Sara Beth handed the small box to her half-sister and winced inside. Hopefully, she was making the right decision. One thing pushing her to do it so soon in the relationship with Lisa was the possibility that Lisa would find out later and be mad at Sara Beth for keeping such a secret to herself.

  Lisa pulled the box to her lap and lifted the lid which she spun upside down and set the box bottom in it. She glanced at Sara Beth. “What’s this? Pictures?” And she lifted them from the box... all five of them.

  Sara Beth could see them in her mind’s eye. She knew what Lisa saw – had just put them in there herself. Sara Beth had placed herself and Rosie on top – followed closely by Lisa. The other two wouldn’t make a difference at first. Lisa would only be focused on herself for the first few minutes until it started to sink in.

  That’s when Sara Beth would be able to explain.

  Curiosity and then confusion slowed Lisa’s movements as she glanced between the first two sheets. “Is this you and your sister? It’s hard to tell with these pictures. You both look so young.” She didn’t glance up at Sara Beth’s silence. Moving the next sheet into view, she glanced at the picture and then stopped, moving the sheet of paper up a smidge, enough to see the picture better.

  That’s when she jerked her gaze to Sara Beth, the skin around her eyes tight. “Is this some kind of joke?” She flipped through the other two pages, but didn’t appear to recognize the two other women and returned to the page bearing her likeness. “Seriously, where did you get this?” She bit the words out through clenched teeth.

  Her anger stung Sara Beth. Speaking faster than she’d planned, Sara Beth gave in to her nerves and rubbed the back of her neck. “Yeah, I’m serious. A federal agent has been tracking the five of us – trying to get us in for questioning or something. I’m not sure. We got these almost two years ago. We hear little things around town or a family friend reports things that he hears, but other than that, this is all we have to go on.”

  “I don’t understand.” Lisa shoved the papers back into the box and slammed the lid on the top – effectively locking the truth inside. “That’s just my picture on that page. This is some kind of a sick joke.”

  “No. Lisa, is your dad’s last name Trinkett?” Sara Beth didn’t know how Lisa had come by that last name, but she had to have some idea on what kind of a person her father was. Sara Beth had only vague memories and half-truths based on heresy.

  “It’s my mother’s.” Lisa swallowed, looking out at the plains. Clasping her hands together in front of her, she inhaled sharply and then slowly released it.

  Sara Beth pointed toward the box. “Okay, well, do you know —”

  “What are you hoping to accomplish with this?” Lisa jumped from the railing, a finger thrust toward the ground and the other holding her hip. “What does this make us? You and me? Sisters? Because I don’t want one sister – let alone however many are in there.”

  Sara Beth recoiled, shaking her head, hands up as if to ward off an attacker. “No. I just wanted to let you know that we’re related. You know... family.” She tried a reassuring smile, but unfortunately her lips didn’t want to work the way she wanted.

  “Family?” Lisa arched her brow and all but spit the word. “Family? You think the same parentage makes us family?”

  “Why doesn’t it? We could be family, or sisters, and even friends. Why are you fighting this so hard?” Sara Beth wanted sisters – more than just Rosie. Why wouldn’t Lisa?

  Lips parting as she stared at Sara Beth, Lisa didn’t look away for the longest time. Varying hues of red, pink, and finally a pale peach stained her cheeks and forehead. Her eyes narrowed and she spoke with forced politeness. “Forget your goals. I don’t want to know anything about you or this. I’ll make sure the clinic sends along someone... not related to you.” And she stormed from the deck in a whirlwind of anger and denial.

  Rejection stung. Once again Sara Beth had asked to be sucker punched. She’d been over-confident in her abilities since riding that horse. She hadn’t thought anything through, just jumped into doing whatever crossed her mind because that’s what she wanted to do.

  Dang it, when was she going to learn?

  Johnny

  Chapter 19

  Rolling his shoulders, Johnny rubbed at his ribs. Falling off Sugar that last time definitely made an impression. She wasn’t letting him on her and Michael had about had it with the animal’s stubborn streak.

  Lisa had pulled up only a few moments before. Usually her appointments with Sara Beth lasted just over an hour.

  Michael had asked Johnny to check the stability of all the posts along the house side of the barn. The job wouldn’t take more than an hour and Johnny welcomed a break from trying to get Sugar to be friendlier. His ribs couldn’t handle another try right then anyway.

  Pushing open the door, he glanced toward the house. Just one glimpse of Sara Beth would make his day not so boring. Michael had him running chores left and right – little piddly jobs that a twelve-year-old could do.

  Lisa pounded around the corner of the deck. Reaching the steps, she bounded down them two at a time, coming to a halting crash on the hard cement, her hands bracing her from slamming her face into the rough surface. Pausing there, her hair creating a curtain around her face, her shoulders heaved.

  Looking around, Johnny’s first instinct was to hold up his hands and back away. He needed a witness that he hadn’t done anything to her. Knowing the girl, like he did, her first reaction would be to sue something – him.

  But her sobs were real and she slapped the flat of her hand on the ground.

  At the scuff of his boot, she jerked upright, pushing at her hair and swiping her cheeks. She glared – the sting of which blunted by blotchy cheeks and streaked black mascara. “What do you want? Come to gloat?”

  “Gloat? Lisa, I’m working. Same as you.” He ducked his head, pressing his lips together as he tried to inspect her. “Are you okay?” He didn’t really care, but he wouldn’t be human to see that kind of sadness and not react in some manner.

  She shook her head and stood, tossing her dark hair back with a flip. “I’m fine.”

  “You’re not fine. What happened?” Had Lisa and Sara Beth gotten in a fight? Was Sara Beth okay? He glanced anxiously in the direction of the deck.

  Following his gaze with her own, Lisa’s laugh came as more of a bark. “Apparently, your little sweetheart and I are sisters.” She looked down and to the side, her arms crossed over her middle.

  “What?” Sisters? How could they be sisters? They didn’t even look alike. Sara Beth had never said anything to him about that. What was Lisa doing? Was it another one of her lies?

  Lisa smirked, giving a quick jerk of her head. “Bet you didn’t see that one coming, Johnny-boy. What do you do now?” She brushed her hands on her jeans and strolled past him, head high. “It’s not like you can fall for sisters, right? Isn’t that against some rules from an ethical committee?”

  But Johnny hadn’t been with Lisa without learning about her.

  She may not have been trampled by whatever had happened between them. Because in all the time they’d been together, he’d never seen her cry. A hand on her arm, he stopped her. “How are you sisters?”

  “Apparently, we have the same dad – not sure of the details. I’m not sticking around to get played.” But doubt crossed her face and her firm jaw line softened. She stared at him defiantly, like her decision to leave had anything to do with getting his permission.

  Crunching gravel announced the arrival of another vehic
le. Johnny, hand still holding Lisa, glanced beyond her face and froze.

  A metallic blue, four-door Ford truck pulled in behind Lisa’s work rig. Johnny didn’t need to see beyond the limo-style tinted windows to know who rode the seat like a John Wayne himself.

  Slowly, Johnny dropped his hand from Lisa’s arm and stepped away from her. While his hands stayed at his sides, he had the distinct impression he’d been caught by the worst authority he could have imagined. Barely moving his lips, he whispered. “Lisa, it’s Tim.”

  She whirled toward the newcomer, arms akimbo. She stumbled to the side, catching herself on the side panel of her truck.

  Climbing from the large rig, Uncle Tim hoisted his three-inch belt higher under his enormous gut and strode with his hands waving around him like treading water. Dark glasses under a white woven cowboy–style hat couldn’t disguise his disgust as he inspected the truck Lisa’s hand had fallen on.

  Stopping feet from Johnny and Lisa, Uncle Tim set his jaw to the side, a large chaw protruding from his cheek. “Aren’t you the tart that’s suing us for harassment?” He leaned just a bit and spit a large stream of brown juice onto the grass.

  Lisa folded her arms across her chest and jerked her chin into the air. “I’m the tart that’s taking you for a lot of money.” Her lips curved like she threw down a taunt.

  Anger lit the fire in his uncle’s eyes. Johnny pressed his tongue to the back of his clenched teeth. He’d never had to stick up to his uncle. He didn’t think he could do it with an audience, especially with that person being Lisa.

  “Whatdya doin’, boy? I told you to get up here and learn something from Old Man Rourke. Not chase every skirt you come in contact with.” He shook his head, trembling jowls shaking with his movement. “You’re as bad as a dammed ole stud who’s not allowed into pasture anymore. I’d be proud of you, except you keep going and getting the Circuit in trouble.” He held up his fist, gripping a folded piece of white paper.