Adventureland, Tomorrowland, and Fantasyland
Page 10
Several shipping tags attached to various objects in the queue reference the “Adventurers Club,” an extinct comedy show that used audio-animatronics, live-action cast members, and puppets to entertain guests. The Adventurers Club was set in the year 1937 and was themed as a private club for world explorers and travellers. The experience was located in Pleasure Island in Downtown Disney (now Disney Springs), but closed in 2008. A bike frame in the queue includes a label that reads:
SHIP TO
THE FANNY BULLOCK WORKMAN COLLECTION
THE ADVENTURERS CLUB
5189 HILL ST.
LAKE BUENA VISTA, FL 32830
Workman was a real-life author and explorer who bicycled across Switzerland, France, Italy, Spain, Algeria, and India in the 1800s. “5189” is a nod to the day the Adventurers Club first opened, May 1, 1989.
Other tags list the same address but are shipped to the “MARY HENRIETTA KINGSLEY COLLECTION” and the “Sir Henry H. Johnston Collection,” respectively. Mary Henrietta Kingsley was an English writer and explorer who travelled West Africa extensively during the late 1800s. Henry H. Johnston was another real-life explorer who led British colonization efforts in Africa at the end of the 19th century.
One of the most entertaining aspects of the Jungle Cruise queue that unfortunately goes unnoticed by many Disney guests is the audio loop that plays as guests wait in line courtesy of the Jungle Cruise radio network and its disc jockey, “Albert Awol,” the “Voice of the Jungle.” In addition to playing period swing music from the 1930s and 1940s, Awol makes humorous news announcements to guests, including:
“And now, here’s today’s river tip from Skipper Bill of the Congo Connie. Bill says, ‘If it rains in the jungle, who cares? That’s why they call it a rain forest.’ Thanks, Bill.”
“Any travelers who may need to exchange foreign currency during their voyage needn’t worry. There are banks all along our rivers.”
“In addition to beautiful Malaysia, Burma, Siam and Cambodia, Lotus Tours offers two new destinations: Boston and French Lick, Indiana. (That can’t be right.) Uh, correction: That’s ‘Borneo’ and ‘French Indochina.’ Bookings may be made at any travel office within a thousand miles of this jungle outpost.”
“Attention Skippers. If you’re looking for some variety and need to log extra time at the wheel, another group of, uh, ‘volunteers’ is being shanghaied for nighttime excursions down the Congo. These fascinating cruises through total darkness can be both exhilarating and unpredictable.”
“All Skippers should take note of the following changes along the Jungle Cruise rivers. First, it is no longer considered sporty to hold small children over the edge of the boat while traveling through the hippo pool. Contrary to popular belief, this does not stop their ears from wiggling. That’s the hippos, of course, not the children. Second, due to the fact that a boatload of passengers onboard Zambezi Zelda entered a Cambodian ruin and failed to come out, any and all temple ruins are now off limits to your cruise. And finally, passengers requesting extended tours should be referred directly to the booking office where they will receive immediate medical treatment.”
“We know that communicating on the jungle rivers can be difficult at times. So we’re always glad to pass along any warm personal greetings from one skipper to another. Here’s one now from the skipper of the Senegal Sal to the Skipper of Irrawaddy Irma: ‘If you can’t drive, stay off the river.’ Isn’t that nice?”
“Attention skippers: Don’t forget to submit your entries for the ‘maim the croc…’ Eh, correction, that’s ‘name the crocodile’ contest. The winner will receive a one-week all expenses paid cruise for one on the jungle river of his choice.
“For safety reasons, all passengers are asked not to feed any animals that may approach your vessel before, during or after the Jungle Cruise, including the ravenous guides working at the unload dock. Thank you.”
“Mating season has begun at the African elephant staging grounds. All boats are cautioned to use extreme care when traveling through this part of the jungle.”
“Instructions on how to dock a half-sunken boat will be given this Tuesday morning at loading dock number 1. Due to reasons that are more than obvious, these maneuvers will not be open to the public.”
“Attention skippers: Please urge your passengers to disembark on the starboard side of the boat. That’s the side closest to the dock. If you pull in bow first. Attention passengers: please urge your skippers to pull into the dock bow first.”
“Last week, the river pilot’s license test was given to 30 Jungle Cruise skippers. Congratulations to all those who passed. The remaining 29 pilots may take the test again next month.”
“Due to capacity limitations on the Jungle Cruise boats, parties of 33 should consider dividing their group into two groups of 16 and a half each.”
“Attention all travelers: if your name is added to the missing persons list at the end of your cruise, please accept in advance our most sincere apologies. Thank you.”
“Jungle skippers: don’t forget to keep extra oars handy on your ship. That way you won’t find yourself stranded up the river without a paddle.”
“For safety reasons, individuals are not allowed to take home pets collected while on the Jungle Cruise.”
“And now today’s survival tip: when confronted by a charging rhino, head for the nearest tree and climb fast. Failure to follow these instructions may result in pointed confrontations.”
“The DBC is proud, and financially pleased, to welcome a new sponsor to the AWOL airwaves. It’s Aero Casablanca. As an introductory offer, all Jungle Cruise personnel will receive discounted fares on Aero Casablanca’s Belgian Congo River tour. All flights must be booked at least two minutes in advance of takeoff and stays in the Congo region must be for a minimum of 25 years. Fly the skies of Aero Casablanca. The airline no one comes back on.”
“Recent reports of giant pythons have been greatly exaggerated. These reptiles cannot digest children weighing over 60 pounds in a single bite. The largest child they can consume at any one time would have to weigh less than 45 pounds.”
“This week’s special guest Skipper is Admiral Bartholomew Wrongway. Admiral Wrongway will be piloting several excursions into the deepest, most dangerous regions of the Congo. Since the admiral is new to the area, and as such, quite unfamiliar with our waterways, it is recommended that you steer clear of his vessel.”
“Rivers of the Pharaohs. Excursions to the land that time forgot. And so will you. Sign up today for the adventure of someone else’s lifetime.”
“Fishing from the sides of the Jungle Cruise boats is strictly prohibited. Unless of course you happen to be fishing a relative out of the crocodile infested waters of the Nile river.”
“Attention children: Please be advised that there are reports of wild adults roaming the area. Thank you.”
“Will the Jungle Cruise skipper in khaki fatigues please report to the boat storage area? I’m sorry, let me clarify that: the Jungle Cruise skipper in khaki fatigues working on the dock wearing the neat looking hat and black walking shoes, answering to ‘Hey, You!’ please report to the boat storage area.”
“Passengers returning from the jungle are advised to hold their baggage claim tickets until all belongings have been secured. Guests not returning needn’t worry about it.”
“For sale: late-model war canoe. Hand-carved wood interior. Dual paddles and naturally air-conditioned. Interested parties should respond through the grapevine.”
Guests will even see the office of Awol while passing through the Jungle Cruise queue. The office features a desk that is topped with a typewriter, a cup of coffee, and a tobacco pipe in an ash tray. Numerous pictures of jungle expeditions and cases with exotic insects hang on the wall.
Near the end of the Jungle Cruise queue, guests will see a crate labeled:
CHEST HIGH RUBBER OVERPANTS
CROCODILE RESISTANT
Goff’s
BRAND
&n
bsp; 1911 Main Street Fort Collins Colorado
This is another tribute to the aforementioned Harper Goff. Goff was born in 1911 and grew up in Fort Collins Colorado, a town that greatly influenced the design of Main Street, U.S.A.
A sign hanging on a post in the queue advertises promising employment opportunities:
OPPORTUNITIES
FOR
IMMEDIATE ADVANCEMENT
AT OUR
AMAZON
RIVER BASE
RECENT EVENTS
HAVE CREATED
A NUMBER OF
OPENINGS AT
WHAT IS SURELY
OUR MOST
EXCITING
OUTPOST
IF INTERESTED PLEASE CONTACT
THE PERSONNEL OFFICE
The Jungle Cruise queue includes many other fun details:
A sign advertising the “Elephant Safari Company” proclaims that “the next Group to leave has just arrived.”
A large wooden crate located on the edge of dock is labeled, “VENOM SAMPLES, SHIP TO STANLEYVILLE RESEARCH STATION.”
Another wooden crate is labeled:
MOSQUITOS
(STEGOMYIA FASCIATA)
FOR OBSERVATION AND STUDY, KEEP CONTAINED
SHIP TO: OFFICE OF PREVENTION
AND TREATMENT OF MALARIA
Yet another crate is labeled:
For immediate export to the Royal Zoo
Gaboon Vipers
(Bitis gabonica)
Caution: venomous
The last employee of the month for the Jungle Cruise was “E.L. O’Fevre” (yellow fever). A sign announcing the award asks guests to “Please forward your congratulations and your condolences to Mr. O’Fevre’s next of kin care of our home office.”
The Crew Mess Lunch Menu advertises exotic dishes such as “Fricasse of Giant Stag Beetle,” “Barbecued Three-Toed Skink,” “Consomme of River Basin Slug,” and “Filet of Rock Python.” However, the Menu notes that all of these items taste like chicken. Fortunately, on Fridays, chicken is actually served!
An old barrel in the queue is addressed to “Dr. Winston Hibler, Special Arachnid Unit, Jungle Exploration Company, Outpost #71755.” Hibler served as the narrator for Disney’s True-Life Adventures films, including The African Lion. “71755” is a hidden reference to Disneyland’s opening day, July 17, 1955.
A poster warns that use of the ride vehicles for “daredevil trips over Schweitzer Falls is strictly prohibited.”
Guests should be on the lookout for a large cage near the loading dock, as a large black tarantula trapped therein periodically jumps.
The Attraction
The ride vehicles for the Jungle Cruise are themed as open-air, 1930s-era tramp steamers. Each boat has a funny name that is displayed on a sign at the top of each vessel:
The Jungle Cruise boats are powered by environmentally friendly compressed natural gas. Guests sit on wooden benches that run along the outer edges of the ride vehicles and down the middle of the boat. A large, non-functioning steam engine adds to the boat’s theming and sits near the back of the vessel. The engine’s smokestack rises through the boat’s canopy.
On their Jungle Cruise journey, guests travel down four mighty rivers: the Amazon of South America, the Congo of Africa, the Nile of Egypt, and the Mekong of Asia. The exotic “wildlife” on display throughout the attraction are not full-scale audio-animatronics because many are located in water. Instead, a simple system of air pressure and pneumatics gives the mechanical animals a limited range of motion.
Guests first travel down the Amazon River through a tropical rainforest. Among the sights are giant (although not high-tech) butterflies that can range in size from “a foot to a whopping 12 inches,” and a waterfall known as Inspiration Falls, named as such because it “inspires you to go deeper and deeper into the jungle.”
Guests next enter the Congo River, where they see a pygmy village encampment. Strangely, no villagers can be seen. War canoes sit on a nearby beach and the sound of tribal drums play in the background. Several boat oars and spears are stuck in the sand. The oars are topped with…human skulls, obviously not a good sign. Up ahead, a large audio-animatronic python is wrapped around a tree.
The Jungle Cruise next floats by a camp that has been overrun by gorillas. Included amongst the chaos is a jeep flipped over on the sand and cans, boxes, and other debris scattered along the beach. A few gorillas play with the abandoned property. One gorilla looks through the wrong end of a rifle while another poses in front of a mirror.
Guests then enter the Nile River where they see a wide variety of animals including African bull elephants, giraffes, zebras, and wildebeests. Skippers will inform guests that the Nile is the longest river in the World as it “goes on for niles, and niles, and niles.” If guests don’t believe the Skippers, they are in “de-Nile.” The Jungle Cruise boats also pass by a pack of lions eating a zebra. Don’t worry, the scene is family friendly, and the Skippers usually joke that the animals are “playing” together.
One of the most popular scenes in the entire attraction is the famed “trapped safari,” where a group of men have been chased up a pole by a large rhino. The men perilously hang on for their lives, as the rhino’s horn is dangerously close to the lowest man’s…rear. A pack of hyenas laugh at this comedic scene. A pair of nearby Nile crocodiles, affectionately known as Old Smiley and Ginger, hiss at the passing boats. Skippers will warn guests that Old Smiley is always looking for “a hand out,” and that Ginger “snaps.” Hippos pop up and down from a hippo pool, but a warning shot from the Jungle Cruise skipper keeps everyone safe.
The Jungle Cruise boats next pass by a waterfall famously known as Schweitzer Falls. Guests will most assuredly hear the skippers comment: “This is Schweitzer Falls, named for the famous explorer, Dr. Albert Falls.” Sometimes skippers will have fun with the Disney Frozen (2013) craze, and tell guests that Schweitzer Falls is “one of the few things at Disney that isn’t frozen.” Believe it or not, Schweitzer Falls actually serves a couple of practical purposes for the Jungle Cruise, as it adds water to the attraction and regulates the amount of dye in the water. Disney purposefully dyes the water so that guests cannot see how shallow the “river” really is.
The back-half of a crashed airplane rests on the shore to the right-hand side of the ride vehicles. The skipper may explain how he or she got the skipper job…by taking a “crash” course and “winging” it ever since. In reality, this is the back-half of a Lockheed Electra 12A plane. The front half of this plane was formerly displayed in the Casablanca scene of the now extinct attraction the Great Movie Ride in Disney’s Hollywood Studios.
Guests next pass by a number of hippos relaxing in the water before entering “headhunter territory.” Among the many sights are a canoe on the riverbank that is filled with skulls, natives dancing and banging drums, and a group of headhunters that shake their spears at the passing boats. Once the skippers escape this dangerous situation, they lead guests behind the aforementioned Schweitzer Falls and, of course, the world famous Jungle Cruise sight: the “backside of water!”
The Mekong River then leads to the ruins of a crumbling Cambodian temple. If guests look to the right of the temple’s entrance, they will see a large, weathered stone replica of the face of the Hindu god Vishnu. As the ride vehicles enter the temple, they are shrouded in almost complete darkness. Faint glimpses of light reveal several dramatic scenes, including a tiger, pythons, cobras, and spiders, all of which guard a vast treasure hidden inside the temple.
After exiting the temple ruins, guests pass by a pool where playful elephants squirt water around them, including in the direction of the Jungle Cruise boats (don’t worry, you won’t get wet). Before the attraction ends, guests see the famous shrunken “head salesman” Trader Sam. Your skipper will likely comment: “There’s old Trader Sam, head salesman of the area. Business has been shrinking lately, so this week only, Sam’s offering a two-for-one special: two of his, for one of yours!”
Sam wears a top hat and uses a rickety umbrella to shield himself from the sun. The head salesman holds two shrunken heads and wears a third from a necklace.
The skippers obviously play a large part in making the Jungle Cruise a classic Disney attraction. While the Jungle Cruise does have an actual script, the live-action skippers almost always have their own unique spin for the attraction. Some of my favorite skipper jokes (in addition to those above) are:
“Come on everyone let’s fill up all available space, load the boat up. That’s the best way to enjoy the Jungle Cruise, fully loaded...with people. Come on, this isn’t EPCOT!”
“In just a few minutes we will be underwater…I mean underway!”
“Wave goodbye to everyone…because you are never going to see them again!”
“Parents, please watch your children or the crocodiles will.”
“Do you know why it’s so hard to eat zebra? You keep getting white meat—dark meat—white meat—dark meat.”
“Aw, look at those elephants bathing over there. You know, you may think that’s water coming out of their trunks…but it’s snot.”
“Oh no! Look at the hippos that are about to attack the boat. Don’t worry I know just the thing that will scare them away, it worked on my last boyfriend. ‘HEY HIPPOS I LOVE YOU. I REALLY WANT TO MARRY YOU AND BE WITH YOU FOREVER AND EVER. I WANT TO TAKE YOU HOME TO MEET MY PARENTS!”’
As the skipper points to a large rock, “This formation on the right is actually sandstone, most people take it for granite. It’s one of our boulder attractions here in the park.”
“I’d like to point out some of my favorite plants here in the jungle.” [Skipper points at various plants without saying anything]
“Of all the crews I’ve had today, you have certainly been the most…recent.”