Survival Instincts (Book 1): Sacrifice

by Andersen, J. . J.

  Rae slung her duffel onto her shoulder and carried it to the lounge then pulled out her phone to search for flights. Iowa was a 4-hour flight away and she needed the earliest flight available which was one o’clock in the morning. It was better than nothing, but it meant she’d have to sit around at the airport for hours. Rae booked the flight then knew it was time to message her dad.

  Dad, you were right. I'm coming home to Iowa. I'll see you soon x.

  Kiddo <3

  Going outside, Rae chucked her luggage into the boot of the car and made her way to the airport. It was only a half hour drive, but the insane traffic made it feel like a good hour. Of course, it was busy on the one day she needed it to be clear. Rae constantly checked her rear-view mirrors for José’s car and tensed whenever she saw something even mildly similar. She had to be gone before he found her.

  Pulling into the airport car park, Rae paid for her vehicle to be kept locked up while she made her flight, although it was unlikely, she would be coming back for it anytime soon.

  She pulled into her car space then got José’s notebook out of Jakey’s bag, that was still in the back seat where she left it. She shoved it into one of her now, many pockets then grabbed José’ briefcase and her duffel bag from the boot. Locking up the car, Rae made her way to the nearby bus bay that would take her to the airport. Who knew it was so busy and full of judging eyes at a bus bay? She pulled her sleeves down over her bruised wrists and hid her face in her hair, feeling every stare on her body. Rae knew she was small and thin; which most people didn’t mind as much but add to that her bruises-which she had been too distracted to remember to hide like she normally did-and people suddenly thought her life was their business, staring with concerned, beady eyes. Rae didn’t want their sympathy, or their pity; she just wanted to get home without drawing any more attention.

  Getting on the bus, the stares never dulled. She felt like everyone could see through her clothes, straight to her bruises. Anger rose within her, Rae hated him so much. He had hurt her so much. She had taken it all to protect Jake and now he was the reason that Jake was gone. No matter what she had done to protect her son, José had still gotten to him. He was a monster; a monster Rae couldn't help but surrender to. The mere thought of his dark eyes and she cowered to whatever he asked, even though Rae knew she shouldn’t. Years of being with him and his ways, training her to be exactly what he wanted, was an impossible life to shake and one that Rae wasn’t so sure she could fight, even after all he had done. She wanted him to pay for Jake but if he found her before Rae got the chance to leave, she didn’t know that she would truly be able to.

  The bus ride was no more than five minutes and getting off, it was even busier than the bus bay. With trembling hands and shifting eyes, she gathered her stuff then made her way to check in for her flight. A flight that Rae had paid for using José’s credit card and she had to admit, it made her smile a little at how much it had cost getting a flight on such short notice, because that cost was nothing.

  Nothing compared to the death of my son.

  It was hours that Rae sat there waiting for her flight and every male that walked past with tan skin, and long, dark brown hair had her breath catching. Anything from looks to clothes that were similar to José’s, got her weary attention. Not to mention every cry of a child made the hairs on her neck prick. She’d never get over it, hell, she could probably never hold a child again. Pulling her mind from drowning thoughts, the announcer on the speaker called out her flight and Rae made her way to the gate. She had already dropped her duffel off to be stored away in the plane but kept José’s briefcase with her as carry on, not willing to risk losing the only lead she had to avenge Jake.

  Sitting in her seat, Rae stared blankly out the window, barely listening to the flight attendant in the aisle showing everyone the safety instructions. When the presentation was finished, the attendants took their seats and the plane rumbled, getting ready to fly. As it took off, she gritted her teeth and closed her eyes tight; she had always hated take-off but that’s when her stomach dropped, and her mind fell into a familiar darkness.

  “You’re doing the right thing. You’re on the right path. Keep going.” The same sharp tone Rae remembered from the air-vent said in her mind and she knew who it was, despite the dizzy feeling she got with it, trying to disorientate her. It had come back. The figure in the black mask.

  “How do you know who I am? I don't even know who you are?” Rae asked in her mind, hoping it could understand her without having to speak out loud and draw even more attention from the other passengers. “I'm on the inside. You can trust me.” It said, pausing for a moment before continuing, “But if you had stayed in that air-vent, you would’ve been caught and she would've done the same thing to you, that she did to your son.”

  “What are you, why do you keep coming to me? What do you want?” Rae asked needing more answers.

  “I have to go; I’ve already used to much energy but you’re the only one who can help. The drug they gave your son is dangerous. They think I’m successful, that their drug works because I didn’t get the side effects like all the rest did but they’re wrong. It’s started happening and you need to stop it”

  “What are you talking about? What started happening?” She demanded but the figure was fading, and her head was pounding trying to hold it there.

  “The side effects are happening. People are going to die. You are the only one, Raelynn. Hurry” The voice crackled before it was gone, and the figure had evaporated. Rae looked around for the figure desperately, calling back the thing in the mask for more answers, but only silence responded. An eerie silence accompanied by a never-ending darkness that made her feel as though she was falling, falling into a pit of black and complete nothingness. She couldn't feel anything tangible, only her emotions but she couldn’t cry or muster a scream. Am I asleep? Why can’t I get out? Am I still on the plane? Why is it so dark? It was a state Rae couldn't even begin to explain because she felt so emotionally alert, but so numb and senseless to touch. Thoughts ran through her head at lightning speed and she couldn't grab hold of a single one. Jake, Dad, José, Mother, Exalt. It was all a mess; one she couldn't clean up because she couldn’t escape, and it made her feel as though she was going insane. Rae kept spiralling down with a sense of hopelessness until it felt like her brain was shaking.

  “Miss, Miss please wake up, we've landed”

  “Miss-” Pulling Rae from her black hole of thoughts, a woman shook her awake, calling on her.

  “Miss, we've arrived in Iowa.” She smiled at Rae. She was a flight attendant, pretty as they all often were and smiled a wide smile, that almost made her believe she wasn’t going to complain about how annoying the passengers were to deal with, as soon as they got off the plane. She hid her contempt well behind her fake smile and the only reason Rae could tell it was there, was because she wore one of her own.

  She sat up in her seat, nodding a thank you to the woman, unable to form any words or say a sentence. In all honesty, she was surprised she could even move to get out of her seat and into the aisle after feeling absolutely nothing in her ‘vision’. With the emotional storm gone though, it allowed her body to steal back some feeling, starting with a tingling sensation in her legs. The plane was empty except herself and the flight attendant, whose name she read off her nametag to be Nikita. Nikita smiled as she handed Rae her carry-on luggage and stood behind her, ushering Rae off the plane.

  “Enjoy your stay in Iowa!” Nikita called out waving her goodbye and Rae managed to wave back and mustered a forced smile that matched hers. Deep in thought, which had been far too common in the last day, Rae made her way to the bag collection area and grabbed her duffel then left the airport as soon as possible.

  Sitting at the bus stop, Rae pulled out her phone, clicking on her dad’s contact, worried that he hadn’t yet responded to her last text.

  Dad, I'm in Iowa waiting for the bus. I'll be there soon. Please be home.

  Kiddo <3


  Raelynn sat and waited with her phone ringtone on loud. Dad was usually more than excited to hear from her and was generally immediate at replying. Well he used to be, ever since that call three months ago, that she should have paid more attention to, he hadn’t answered. She used to think it was because he was on another bender, but now she wasn’t so sure. Once 30 minutes of the hour and a half bus ride to her hometown of Avoca had passed, with no message or phone call, worry began to settle in her stomach, especially when he didn’t answer her call to his landline. He never left that thing-said it was the only phone that the government couldn’t hack.

  Rae got off the bus an hour later, with still nothing from her dad and alone in her hometown that she’d thought she would never see again. Memories rushed back, hitting her like a shot of tequila. Trying to clear her mind, she looked around her to figure out where she was exactly. She knew most of Avoca by memory and knew her dad's street was just one over from the one she was currently on. Walking for a minute or so, Rae looked up at the street sign pointing in the direction left of her, reading Chestnut St.

  Home.

  The walk home was far too familiar, not a thing had changed since she had seen it last. It was almost sunrise but still dark enough that the path was lit with streetlights. The houses looked the same, the air was fresh and crisp, with a cool winter wind and sparse leaves crunching beneath her steps. It was a soothing mixture that brought a nostalgic warmth to her chilled body. As a kid it would have annoyed her that the paths were so littered with leaves, and the bite to the air was so intent on freezing her, but right then it was what she needed; like a soothing comfort, a haven to lick her wounds, a place she remember had been full of love, a love that she missed.

  Walking up the front porch stairs of her childhood home, she looked around at the house. It hadn't changed a bit, just like the rest of the houses on the street, still old; and if she placed her foot just off centre on the second step, she knew it would protest and wobble slightly, just as it had done when she was little. The creaky floorboards groaned at her in welcome, forcing a smile over Rae’s tense features as she knocked on the front door. She knew something was off when one; her dad wasn't already outside waiting with anticipation and excitement and second, when she did knock, she received no answer. No creaking of stairs, no movement of the door handle. Not even the cock of his gun, which was his automatic response to anyone turning up unannounced when she was a kid. Nothing.

  Looking at the door handle, Rae grasped it then turned and to her astonishment, it was unlocked. Dad would never leave it unlocked. Something is definitely wrong. Walking inside, the house was cold, stale and musty. It was eerie and creepy, nothing like how she remembered. Besides all that, there was no one there, no dad with a comforting hug and shoulder to cry on, no Jake to distract her from her own mind, just Rae. Her and her thoughts. That’s all it ever was, just a whole lot of thoughts and promises to herself, promises that Rae couldn’t make happen because she was alone. She couldn’t even keep her promise to her son to avenge him, because the only person who could help her do it, had abandoned her. And it was her fault, she should have listened to her dad months ago; if she had then Jakey would still be there and her dad would too.

  Falling to her knees, the wave of emotions hit Rae again, similar to the ones she had felt in the black hole except this time, she knew she was awake because Rae didn't feel as though she was floating, she felt as though she was drowning and this time, there was no numbing in her body. Rae could distinctly feel the cold, hard, wooden floorboards beneath her knees.

  Tears escaped Rae’s eyes, heavier than before. She was safe to cry now, safe to scream and shout, here she wouldn't be caught or looked at like she was crazy because she was alone, so Rae did. She cried and screamed. She was hopeless. Her dad wasn't there, and she had nothing left to live for with her son gone. The thought of him made Rae’s throat burn and her body sob more than it already was. It was in that moment, that Raelynn lost all hope in anything and everything. She didn’t care about the drug or what it would do, she didn’t care what happened to her, she just wanted the pain, physical and emotional, to stop. For Rae, it was the end. She had nothing left.

  Chapter Three

  Raelynn cried for a good hour before being able to grab hold of her bearings.

  I can’t just sit here wallowing all day and grieving over things I can’t change, there is still hope. I have the files I need to take my so-called mother down, hell I’m talking to myself at this point, so a crazy revenge plan is nothing.

  Getting up off the wooden floorboards, she opened the curtains and admired the way the sun glared at the misting snow that covered her dad’s usually overgrown lawn. The rays of the sun warmed the room enough to not need lights and lifted the musty air of the room. Raelynn had carted all her luggage out of the entry hall and into the lounge, dumping it all by the dark oak coffee table. She made her way to the kitchen, flicking on the jug. Before she could do anything, she needed a cup of coffee, and strong. She went back into the lounge with her coffee and sat on the couch, staring at the coffee table that brought back too many memories of father-daughter time with board games. She pushed the sentiments aside to focus on her next task. Rae pulled José’s suitcase over to her and opened it up, going to her own file first and having a look.

  Inside was a videotape. She just had to figure out how to watch it. Nobody had video players nowadays. Except old, paranoid alcoholics with conspiracy theories in every thought. Dads bunker! Most of the time, Rae thought that his bunker was just a physical manifestation of his over-paranoid mind but at that moment, she had never been more thankful for it. He had a VCR set up down there-she had thought it was a waste of money, buying old things that weren’t used anymore, but she didn’t now. She believed him.

  Raelynn put the file back into the briefcase then went to get the key to her dad’s bunker from where it always was; behind a photo frame of the two of them. It was taken by a friend of theirs, John when he had joined them on one of their many road trips to Rio Grande National Forest in Colorado, to go hunting. She grasped the key in her hand, grabbed the suitcase then went down to the bunker, locking it behind her, knowing the sentiment proved she was just as paranoid as her dad was by that point. Setting the information down on the ground, Rae sat on the floor with crossed legs, the TV and VCR setup in front of her. She opened the briefcase up again to grab her file, slotted the videotape into the machine, then turned it on. The machine whirred, showing its age and lack of use. It was old, very old but thankfully, it still worked. It flickered to life, playing the contents of Raelynn’s file on the screen before her. Her eyes grew wide as she gaped at what it revealed.

  Raelynn’s mother laid in a white dentist-like chair with a small pregnant belly under a black singlet, with a white lab coat loosely over her shoulders. The room had no colour, just white on white and disturbingly clinical. Raelynn’s stomach churned at the sight. Doctors weren't her forte. She heard the man behind the camera ask if her mother, Katherine was ready and with a thumbs up from her, a male scientist walked into view, facing the camera.

  “Week 18, scan confirms female gender. Trial one on prototype drug Exalt in progress.” The scientist said, turning his back to the camera where his medical supplies sat on a wheelie tray. He pulled out a syringe, shooting a shiver down Raelynn’s spine. It was the same as the one her mother had held when she injected Jake; though the needle in this video was a lot longer. Rae closed her eyes and took a deep breath in, her shoulders shuddering.

  “Performing injection now.” The scientist stated with a clinical voice as her mother lifted her shirt to show her stomach. He placed a firm hand on the bump before piercing the needle in and emptying the syringe. Raelynn’s mother and the scientist both looked to the machine that Katherine was hooked up to. One of which showed the baby inside her. The child inside was still for a moment, before it began to move erratically within her womb-like an alien in movies trying to escape-before it stopped,
the monitors however, didn’t flatline like they had with Jake.

  “Trial one-so far, so good.” The scientist smiled at Raelynn’s mother, removing himself from the cameras view along with his wheelie tray. I want to see more, to know what they injected and what they were expecting it to do. With more answers than questions left floating in her mind, the video abruptly stopped; jumping to the next scene. She paused it before it started.

  She didn’t know what to make of what she had just witnessed. As far as she was aware, she had no other siblings, so that baby bump was Raelynn herself. That also meant she more than likely, had the drug in her. But how did I survive when my Jakey hadn’t? Was it because I was still in my mother’s womb? She wanted to know more, to understand what the hell the drug was. Though shaking with shock and the unwillingness to find answers that she might regret knowing later, she knew she needed to keep watching on, so she pressed play and took a deep breath in.

  It showed her mother on the screen again, but this time in what looked to be her office with her youngish face, surrounded by her blond bob, facing the monitor she was recording on. She wore the same as before, black singlet and lab coat however her protruding belly was a lot bigger. She didn’t show a whole lot of affection to her belly, almost like it was nothing but dead weight that repulsed her. She moved as if it was more of a nuisance, her stomach getting in her way, leaving a disgruntled expression on her pointed features. She showed no want of it being there, her arms avoided even touching it, something Raelynn didn’t understand at all. Being pregnant with Jakey had been a magical time. His life growing inside of her, the feeling of him moving inside her, knowing that she was alive for him had Rae cradling her belly constantly. How could she seem so distant from the life inside her? The look on Raelynn’s mother’s face explained a lot though. She had never been warming and comforting like most mothers aimed for. Her mother pulled herself up closer to the camera, still sitting in her chair. Adjusting the camera, she began to speak.