Beautiful Regret

by MJ Nightingale

  Nikko helped. Gio was glad he was here and couldn’t wait for his other brothers to meet his son.

  Gio shook Mark’s hand, and then he joined them in the kitchen when Gio offered him a beer, and pulled out an O’Douls for himself. He enjoyed the flavor, but stayed away from alcohol as much as he could. Mark nodded and the men talked while he finished frying the chicken. Mark offered assistance and they set him to the task of slicing the bread. Gio had stopped at the local bakery to get semolina bread. Always so much better in New York. He didn’t know why, just assumed it had something to do with the water, or the way the baker ground the flour, and it was always fresh.

  Mark was a good man. He had grown up in East Rockaway, Long Island. Not too far away. He had followed his father into the fire department, and Gio respected that. Mark’s family was large too. Irish, and loud. They were laughing when Lisa slipped inside to say Bridget had arrived.

  The men came out to greet her. The youngest of the Raphaels, Bridget was the polar opposite of her sister. She was short, did not have the red hair, but was a cute pixie of a girl. She was just twenty two. She just finished university and was a first year kindergarten teacher, and still single.

  Soon the boys headed back into the kitchen and the women set the table, while the kids played in the living room. Lisa’s parents hadn’t shown up yet. Gio was dreading that, but wanted to include them. He knew they were getting on in years, and despite their role in what happened with Lisa, he knew they were old school. They probably felt guilty as hell. But they said they would come.

  They showed up just as the last tray of food was coming out of the oven.

  “Mr. Raphael,” Nikko shook the older man’s hand. “Nice to see you again.”

  “You too, son.” He shook Niko’s hand, but looked passed him to see Gio. Gio saw the pained expression cross the old man’s face as he nodded at Gio. Gio returned it curtly. He wasn’t expecting much.

  “Mrs. Raphael,” Nikko gave the older woman a light embrace, which she returned. Her eyes were wet and she dabbed at them with the tissue she clasped in her hand.

  Gio passed Mr. Raphael, and went directly to Lisa’s mom. “None of that, Celia,” he admonished and reached his arms around her frail figure. The woman hugged him for all she was worth. He heard her mumble into his chest that she was sorry. Releasing her, he took her chin into his hands.

  “Celia, you don’t need to apologize to me.” He kissed the woman’s cheek, and again she was crying.

  Bridget came over and helped her mom to the table. Lisa showed her father to his seat and they all crowded around the table together; it got quite noisy as the food was passed all around.

  The Raphaels didn’t say much, but Gio could see they were grateful to be included, and Gio was glad no one brought up the past or the upcoming trial. He wanted a normal family gathering, and wanted his son to feel surrounded by the people who loved him. Old and new.

  With dinner over, Lisa and her sisters tidied up since the men had cooked, and the guys put on the baseball game while Mary’s two little ones played in front of them. Mr. Raphael excused himself and as he passed Gio, he asked if he could have a word with him outside.

  Seeing Johnny look up from his computer, Gio agreed and followed the old man out the front door. He walked towards the sidewalk and Gio followed.

  When he turned Gio wasn’t prepared for the words that left his mouth. “Son, I need to say this so please hear me out. I just want you to know what I fool I was, and I am so sorry for destroying yours and Lisa’s life. Every day, since the explosion, and Albert accused her of this, I wanted to go and kill the son of a bitch myself. I don’t understand all that is going on, but I have known for a long time that I made a mistake.”

  Gio nodded while curling his lips. He didn’t know what to say.

  “Son,” he put his hands on Gio’s forearm, “I know I have no right to ask for your forgiveness. But I will, because I am a coward. Instead of being a man, who should have owned up to his own mistakes, I let my daughter fix it for me. I was so afraid of my reputation back then, and Celia’s fragile state.”

  “I can’t blame you for worrying about your wife, sir,” Gio managed to mutter.

  The old man dropped his hand from Gio’s arm, and looked wistfully up the block towards his own house, just eight up from Gio’s.

  “I used to watch her, Lisa, run to your house every day, in high school. She was in love you know. Back then, I thought it was a passing fancy.” He closed his eyes at the memory. “I remember her telling me she was going to marry you one day. She was fourteen when she said it, and I laughed. Then you kids had all those fights, and I took them so seriously. You boys, good boys, I know that now, but you had your share of scrapes in the neighborhood. I was a father of all girls. What did I know? I worried. I heard stories. But I didn’t keep in mind that you were just kids.”

  “Sir, I don’t understand what you are trying to say?” The old man was rambling and Gio knew he was trying to make a point. He wanted to move him along.

  “I should have never allowed her to marry that man. I should have not even considered it. But I was going to lose everything, and the Rasmussens, I owed them too. They were a good family I thought, so rich, respected. When Albert’s father approached me, it was a business deal. I did not think. I thought it was a step up, but I was wrong. I saw bruises on my daughter’s arms once and I almost killed myself.”

  Gio stood back, shocked, and the old man’s words grew harsher. He was practically spitting the words out. Still he remained silent hearing the man out.

  “That was about two years after Lisa married. But Celia, I could not tell her. I was mortified, and so ashamed. I am not a man. Then as Johnny grew up, and I recognized he was your son . . .”

  “You knew?” Gio interrupted.

  “How could I not? I watched you grow up son, and I was even more ashamed of myself.” He went on. “I never spoke my suspicions out loud. Celia, she was mad enough already at me for my gambling. To know her daughter was married to a man who beat her, had the son of her former lover, who she still yearned for, but had done this to keep a house over our heads, that was enough to bear. I could not tell her my suspicions.” The man held his hand up to his heart.

  Gio was afraid the man would have a heart attack. He had to stop him. “Mr. Raphael. We all have our regrets. I have mine too. I know I wasn’t perfect. I made mistakes.” He sighed trying to think of what to say next. “I think we all need to just put the past behind us. Focus on the here and now.” He looked towards his house, where Lisa and Johnny played and laughed inside with family, and something clicked inside him. “We have all lived our lives for too long with regret. I think we need to stop regretting the past, and move on. What do you say?” he held out his hand and Mr. Raphael took it with tears in his eyes.

  “Son, thank you. That would mean a lot. As many mistakes as we, I, have made, that would do my heart good. I love my daughters and my grandson. Your son. I am glad he is yours.”

  “He is a fine boy. I’m glad too.”

  “And son, one more thing.” He took hold of Gio’s arm once more as he was about to turn and head back inside. “You say you were not perfect, but you are. Perfect for my Lisa anyhow. I wish I had seen that earlier.”

  The old man was smiling at him with tears still in his eyes. “You old fool,” Gio swiped the tears that had sprung from his own eyes, and pulled Mr. Raphael into his arms, and gave him a quick hug. The man was crying and laughing at the same time.

  “Let’s get inside. I miss my family.”

  “I do too, son. I do to.”

  By eight PM everyone had left. Johnny and Nikko were playing Xbox in the living room, and that left Gio and Lisa in the kitchen alone. They were putting away the last of the dishes and worked together well in companionable silence. Gio couldn't help but let the words slip out. "This is how I always imagined it would be."

  Lisa stopped what she was doing and looked at him. Gio was looking at her stra
ngely. She sighed. "Me too."

  Lisa was leaning up against the counter drying her hands on a dish towel.

  "Yeah?" he asked and approached her. There was a glint in his eye. He stood not a foot away.

  Lisa gave him a small smile. She knew that look all too well. "Yeah!" She took up the challenge.

  "I enjoyed last night, Lisa."

  "So did I." Her voice dropped to a whisper remembering how he had made love to her. She couldn't call it anything else but that, even though he wasn't ready for more, she felt something had changed despite the words he'd spoken that said otherwise.

  He got closer. Not touching, but she could feel the heat emanating off his body.

  "Lisa?"

  "Yes?" Looking up into his eyes, she wanted to wrap her arms around him, but the ball was in his court. She didn't want to push him away.

  "Lisa, if . . . When we clear you, I want more of this," he held out his hands.

  "You do?" she asked, still not sure where he was going with this conversation. She was afraid to hope.

  "Yes." He put his hands on her arms, and pulled her to him, breathing in the scent of her he lay his head on top of her hair.

  "I can't say I . . . forgive, yet, I don't know, but, carrot top," he teased using his old nickname for her, "I know I've never wanted a woman more than I've wanted you. I've never loved anyone else."

  Lisa couldn't speak. She just wrapped her arms around this man. She whispered in return, had to say the words, even if there would be consequences. "I've loved you since I can't even remember, and I've never stopped, Gio. It's only ever been you for me."

  "I know that now."

  "You do?" she asked, trying to twist so she could see his face but he wasn't letting her go.

  "Yes, and I love you too. You know that. I'm just afraid . . . still . . . that you’re so rash, you won't . . ." He couldn't finish.

  "Never. Gio. Never. I promise. Please believe that. I'm done making decisions on my own that involve us, you, me and Johnny," she cried. "Please believe it. Please give me another chance."

  Gio sighed. He knew from the moment he'd met his son that it would eventually come to this. He had to let go of the anger first, the past. And he thought he had, or could. "Okay."

  "Okay?" she twisted and was able to meet his ice blue eyes with her own.

  "Okay." He watched the light come back into her eyes. The gold flecks in the green made them glow in the waning light coming in from the kitchen window.

  "Really?"

  "Really." He dipped down to kiss her. To seal his promise with a kiss. Inside, he hoped she didn't disappoint him, and break his heart again.

  Monday flew by, and Gio went back to following Connie around. She spent the morning indoors, the afternoon shopping in SoHo, and went to dinner with some colorful friends. She fucked a girl in the bathroom of the restaurant and then went home.

  Gio had done some more digging on the girl, and it seemed she was just as sexually depraved as Albert. She had a multitude of partners, and from examining her bank statement he saw she received 10 grand the first of each month. He supposed she was on Albert’s payroll, but he had covered it well. The funds came out of a trust and as of yet Andreas was not able to find the source, even though they both suspected it had to come from Albert.

  She went home in the evening and stayed in. Gio went home shortly after midnight.

  Nikko called in to report when Gio was on his way home. Hitting speaker phone he laid the phone next to him on the seat.

  “What’s he up to tonight?” he asked.

  Nikko reported, “Busy. He had dinner with friends, and then went to see his father again. I talked to the doorman, talkative fellow, and he said old man Rasmussen was on the way out. Hospice is there and life support has been pulled. They don’t expect him to last the night.”

  “Hmm, wonder if anyone will care?”

  “Yeah, not even Albert. After leaving his dad’s he picked up a hooker. He brought her to a sleazy hotel, was there twenty five minutes, and then went home. I stayed and saw the hooker leave. He pummeled the shit out of her face. Her left eye was swollen shut. But Albert was whistling when he left. Sick bastard.”

  “Yeah, you don’t know the half of it.”

  “I’m sure.” He heard his brother curse, then added, “Sorry man.” Nikko felt remorse for what Lisa may have gone through married to that man. He knew Gio probably wanted to kill the man.

  “Yeah,” was Gio’s response. He was just pulling in to his driveway.

  “Any calls between the two today?” Nikko asked.

  “Hang on, let me check.” He picked up his phone and retrieved his emails. There was the report. He glanced down the list. “Yes, four.”

  “Something is definitely happening tomorrow.”

  “Yeah, I’m going to get on my laptop, and read the report from Alex, he was supposed to send over their most recent credit card statements, and I’ll let you know if I see anything suspicious. Then I’m calling it a night.”

  “Okay, I’m outside Albert’s and you have Chuck on Connie for the night. If any of them move, we will let you know.”

  “Thanks.”

  “No worries.” Nikko yawned.

  “Get a little shut eye. Whatever goes down will happen tomorrow night.”

  “Will do.” I put a trip micro camera by his door, so if he leaves I’ll be alerted. Gave the doorman fifty bucks to use the restroom and ran upstairs and put the micro in place behind a potted plant.”

  “Good idea.”

  “I have them once in a while.”

  “Night.”

  “Night bro.”

  Gio was up early. He climbed out of bed, and had to crawl over Lisa in the process. As much as he tried not to, he woke her, and he hadn’t wanted to do that.

  “Good morning,” she smiled, and stretched. One rosy tipped breast slipped out from under the sheet. He couldn’t pass that up, and bent to suck it into his mouth.

  “Oh, Gio. You devil,” she laughed arching into it.

  These last two days with Gio had her heart soaring. Yes, the trial was getting closer, but all the leads coming in made her feel more confidant, but the best part of all, was Gio. He loved her, and showed her in the little time they had together. Her heart, so devoid, was beginning to mend. She knew they were meant to be together.

  Soon Gio’s tongue played her like a violin, and she felt herself getting wetter and squeezed her thighs together, but his hand slipped down to open her back up. He slid one finger inside and stroked her, banking her fires. He then found her clit, and stroked it until she was panting.

  He hadn’t intended to make love to her this morning, but her purring beneath him, had him rock hard. He urged her legs apart, and slid inside. He was home. He rode her slowly sliding his pelvis against her clit with each thrust until she was meeting him thrust for thrust, and when she came and trembled around him, he pumped in and out of her until he rode his own wave, then collapsed beside her. She curled into the crook of his arm, and wrapped one of her long legs over him, entwining their bodies together. She lay her head on his chest to listen to his heart.

  Her fingers played along his chest, when she whispered, “I love you, Gio. Always.”

  “Always babe,” he whispered back. It felt good to say. He picked up a tendril of her hair curling it around his index finger. “It’s me and you babe.” He recited the once familiar words.

  “Against the world,” she repeated and hugged him tight loving that old expression. It felt even truer today than it had all those years ago.

  She felt the rumble of Gio’s laughter before she heard it. “You know,” he laughed. “I was intending to get up, and get out here early today. You were always such a distraction. Do you how many demerits I got for being late when I started the force? Shit, they almost flunked me out of the police academy because of you.”

  She laughed. “I remember. If it weren’t for Andy, they would have kicked you to the curb.” Andy was what close family c
alled his older brother, Andreas.

  “Yeah, and my dad.” Gio remembered how proud his father had been when he had joined the academy. He’d wanted all of his boys to follow in his footsteps.

  “Yes, your dad. Such a good man.”

  “He was.”

  “I miss him,” Gio admitted.

  “Andy still looking for the guy who killed them?” she asked, tracing her fingers over his crazy life tattoo, La Vida Loca. He’d gotten that when they were together, after his police academy training was complete.

  “Yes. Always. He won’t stop.”

  “It was so horrible. I was so sad. I know you were. I wish I was there for you then.”

  “Shh, no regrets. No more. Promise?”

  “Promise.”

  Gio dropped the tendril of her hair and kissed her on the top of her head. He wanted no more regrets. He wanted to live a life with her and their son. He vowed to make it happen and it could very well happen today. But, he needed to move.

  One hour later, Gio was downstairs in the kitchen. He had quickly showered and changed. He made breakfast burritos for everyone and they were staying warm in the oven. Johnny was still upstairs asleep. He and Lisa had watched him together standing in the open door way.

  “He is a beautiful kid.”

  “I think so. He looks just like you.”

  “I wonder what our daughter will look like?” he said matter of factly.

  Tears sprung to Lisa’s eyes and she looked up at his face as he continued to watch their son.

  “You want more?” she asked, breathing the words softly rather than saying them.