You'll Never Lose Me (The Never Series Book 4)

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You'll Never Lose Me (The Never Series Book 4) Page 16

by B C Morgan


  “You are incredible,” he says as his eyes slowly peruse my body and soon his fingers are following the trail until they reach my centre. Sliding in between my lips and swirling my wetness around.

  “Elijah,” it falls out on a moan and my toes begin to curl as he dips two of his fingers inside me. I can barely hold it together as he curves the tips of his fingers and slowly pulls them in and out of me.

  “What about you?” I ask breathlessly, feeling guilty that I’m the only one getting anything.

  “Hen, watching your face as I bring you close and feeling your walls tighten around me is more than enough. I’m so ready that I fear if you even brush your fingers against me I will just explode and this will be over a lot quicker than I have planned,” his voice is so guttural and there’s no hiding how affected he is by this.

  “Can I taste you?” He asks, his voice low and full of feeling and I’m frantically nodding my head.

  His fingers pop out of me as he slides my wetness around me once more before rubbing across my clit as his mouth descends as his tongue thrusts inside me, making me cry out. Lights explode behind my eyes as his mouth swaps places with his fingers and he pumps furiously within me. My eyes are rolling and I come undone as a finger slips within my puckered hole and he’s everywhere at once. My clit, core, arse and even a nipple. Damn this is sensation overload and I can barely handle it as my body goes rigid and a tidal wave washes through my system. I can’t even open my eyes until a few minutes have passed and my body calms down enough that I won’t orgasm from a simple touch.

  “Stay with me Hen,” he says as he climbs up my body and puts a condom on before centring himself above me.

  “I’m not going anywhere,” I say softly as he slowly pushes his way inside and I can’t think of anything else but us being together.

  He moves in slowly as my hands slide across his face and into his hair, our mouths join once again and his tongue moves in my mouth in time with his thrusts. Everything is alive within me and the moment we come undone together, our eyes meet and I’ve never felt closer to him than I do right now.

  WE LAY TANGLED TOGETHER as his fingers skim across my ribs, making me laugh lightly at the sensation.

  “What does this mean for us?” He asks, and although I’d rather wait until morning to have this conversation, I guess it doesn’t matter if we talk about it now.

  “I got a tattoo today,” is what slips out and I have no idea why that came out instead of an actual answer to his question.

  “Yeah, I saw that,” he says with a laugh and a twinkle in his eye, “what does it mean?” He asks, gently tracing his fingers over the image and a pit forms in my stomach.

  I look at the two black infinity symbols that are wrapped around a grey heart with red shading around the outside, like a border. I guess this is a question I’ll have to get used to answering and at least he'll understand it.

  “The heart is mine and the four loops in the infinity symbols represent the four guys who own my heart. You, Noah, Harrison and... Amias. I may not be able to forgive him and I can’t see us being together again, but he’ll always own a part of it,” I hate that sadness is now filling my voice as it becomes tear filled and he wastes no time in wrapping his arms around me and kissing my cheek.

  “It’s beautiful and I wouldn’t dismiss your chance of being with Amias just yet, you had him added for a reason. Maybe it’s your way of saying that there’s still a chance for you two,” I can’t help but wonder if that’s what he’s hoping for but we don’t need to talk about that right now.

  I snuggle back down onto his chest, as he runs his hand through my hair and I throw one of my legs over his hips. It’s settled, I’m staying right here for the rest of the week, the rest of the world be damned.

  FOURTEEN

  THE WEEK HAS PASSED TOO QUICKLY, and it’s hurting me, knowing that I’m going to have to leave Elijah. The funny thing is, it isn’t going to just be me and Sawyer heading out. For some reason, Ivy has decided to tag along and I can’t even pretend to be mad about that. I know it will be awkward having her along when she and Roxie have such a dislike for each other, but she’s already booked a hotel room to stay in with an extra bed for me and a sofa bed for Sawyer.

  Maybe it will be easier if I stay there with her, I wouldn’t feel right leaving her on her own but I also don’t want to cause any more tension to arise between everyone.

  “Relax, everything is going to be fine,” she says with a smile though it isn’t filled with her usual amount of conviction.

  “Why don’t you guys get on?”

  “I don’t know, she’s always accused me of being this disloyal bitch. I know it isn’t entirely unfounded but it started way before you came to Padstow. We’ve never been friends but we were somewhat friendly until she just switched. She created her band and acted as though I was the worst person on Earth,” her face is as hard as granite and her nails are digging into the palms of her hands. “Honestly Hen, I don’t trust her and she doesn’t trust me. We’ll never get along, but I’ll make the effort for you,” she says, and it fills my chest with a warmth that I’m slowly starting to get used to. It’s the feeling that you get when you realise you belong somewhere.

  “While we’re on the subject of questions I have to ask, how did Harrison find out about Amias and Devon? Because I didn’t tell him and I don’t think that many people knew,” her words are just voicing my own internal thoughts, I’ve wondered that for a while now but clearly I’ve lost my chance to ask. For the time being at least.

  “I don’t have the faintest idea,” I reply getting distracted by my phone, as I pull it out to see who’s texting me this time. I’m expecting Elijah, but it isn’t him.

  Unknown: I hope you enjoyed your reunion with Elijah, I doubt you’ll get another one. You won’t be leaving Norwich alive pretty girl, such a shame you have to go down like this.

  Me: Why can’t you just leave me alone, I don’t deserve this.

  I know I shouldn’t message back but I can’t stop myself and I can’t help but wonder if I’ve made a huge mistake once my thumb hits send.

  Unknown: I am, I had my chance to end you and I failed. I’ve been caught once, I’m not about to let it happen again. The person coming for you this time is a lot more dangerous to your health than I ever was, mainly because you’ll never see it coming. Enjoy your holiday Henleigh Monterey, because it will be your last.

  I pass my phone over to Ivy who quickly reads the messages out to Sawyer, I can tell by the way he’s white knuckling the steering wheel that it’s getting to him as well. She forwards them to Devon before passing me back my phone and pulling her own out. I’m glad she took control of the situation because I feel utterly useless right now, I don’t know what to make of this situation or how to handle it. He could be lying but I have the strangest feeling that he doesn’t lie. What would be the point when the truth will never hurt him back?

  My phone starts playing Use Somebody and I can’t believe Harrison is calling me, but by the look on Ivy’s face this has something to do with her.

  “Hey,” it comes out unsure, but maybe that’s just because of how messed up I’m feeling right now, one text has ruined the good mood I had going.

  “Are you okay, do you need me to come up there until you’re ready to come back?” I can hear how worried he is and I love that he cares but I don’t need him coming to my rescue. Especially with how things are between us,

  “No, it’s okay. I appreciate the offer though, just go to work and I’ll see you when I get back,” the warmth is still missing from my voice and even Ivy looks worried.

  “I know things are hard with us right now but I’m still here, I’m still yours woman. If you need anything, even if it’s just to rant then call me. Anytime night or day,” he says, and it’s having the desired effect.

  “I will, I promise. We can work this out can’t we?”

  “Of course we can, besides I’m the one with the issue here. I will get over
myself, I promise you, I’m not going to risk what we have because I can’t control my jealousy,” his deep voice washes over me and chases away the last remnants of the chill.

  “Okay, I’m glad. Look I know this is completely random but, can I ask you something?”

  “Sure, go for it,” he says as the sound of things being moved fills the phone.

  “How did you know Amias was working for Devon?” Should I have eased him into that? I have no idea.

  “I didn’t, that wasn’t the secret I was going to reveal.”

  MY HEAD IS SWIMMING, I can’t wrap my mind around it. Ivy’s just sitting here staring at me, waiting for me to say something but I don’t know what I’m supposed to say.

  “Is it true?” I don’t doubt Harrison, but I need some confirmation here.

  “Yeah, it is. Amias was in the year above us, which is why we never had any classes together. He was supposed to graduate a year before we did but he refused to, he wanted to stay with you,” she’s dragging her fingers through her hair, making it spike up. “He refused to sit any of his tests, threatened to go ungraded and ruin the perfect pass record Padstow had going on. They tried to call his bluff, but he refused to back down. His parents even tried to talk him round and I have no idea what he said to them, but it didn’t take long for them to back his decision. So he was put back a year and allowed to graduate with our class, that boy has some serious pull,” she almost sounds proud of him, but if anything it just makes me even more angry.

  “I need to make a phone call,” she looks taken aback but I’ll deal with that in a minute. Pulling my phone out and calling the one person who won’t lie to me right now.

  “Little Hen, what’s wrong? Where’s Sawyer?” Damn that tone could freeze anyone in place.

  “Take it down a notch Devy,” Sawyer is smirking at the nickname, guess I’m the only one who’s allowed to give him one. “I need to ask you something and I need you to be honest with me and actually answer the damn question,” my tone may be a little harder than I intended, but he can handle it.

  “Okay,” he’s drawling the word out, but at least he’s agreeing.

  “How did you get Padstow to agree to let Amias graduate a year late? Clearly you wanted him to stay for the duration of my wonderful time there.”

  “Drop the sarcasm just a touch sweetie,” Ivy whispers and I hate to admit that she’s right, but I can’t help it.

  “I didn’t, I already had another guy lined up to keep an eye on you when he left, only he didn’t. If you want to know why, you’ll have to ask him. Not that I want you to talk to him but he’s the only one with the answers to this little mystery. Sorry little sister, Amias and why he does what he does is a mystery even to me,” his voice melts away the rest of my anger but confusion is left in its wake.

  Why did he do it? Should I ask him or just leave it as one of life’s little mysteries? I want to know, but I just don’t think it’s worth all the aggravation that will go along with it. So why won’t my heart agree with me? Yet again I look at my tattoo and the loop that will always belong to him.

  12TH AUGUST 2009

  I shouldn’t have told Devon, Dickhead is on the warpath and I am firmly in his sights. Richard feels that I betrayed him by telling Devon what he had ordered and Devon won’t allow him to lay a single finger on me. I still don’t know what power he holds over his dad but there’s definitely something there, people are always whispering behind his back. They all believe that Devon is the true boss and Richard is nothing more than a front these days, not that anyone would dare say it to his face. He’s insane, he curb stomped one of his members because he refused to pull a gun on some kid who had apparently looked at dickhead wrong. Devon is the only one keeping things running smoothly, and he’s the reason people are even staying with the Black Hearts, that and they don’t want the tattoo to be burnt or cut from their bodies.

  Asher says I need to stop worrying and trust in Devon, which I do but I can’t just forget about the danger that Richard represents to everything I hold close to me. Especially now that he knows about me and Damon, I have no idea how he found out but he’s threatening to bury me if I don’t use it to His advantage. I don’t want to bring Damon into my fucked up life but what more can I do? Unless I tell him, it’s a gamble for sure, he could tell his family and mess me up big time but I need to start trusting him. He told me he loves me and clearly I’m right there with him, but how can I if I can’t trust him with my life and safety?

  No, if I really love him then I need to tell him what’s going on and what Richard is trying to get me to do. Hell, if he doesn’t rat me out to his family or run away then he’s a keeper.

  The real problem, if the others aren’t serious enough is that Dante is well and truly on the Shaw’s payroll. Crazy motherfucker that he is, it’s hard to believe that he’s the same age as Devon. He doesn’t bat an eyelid at anything and he will do anything for the right price. Apparently his whole family is like it, they even have this cousin who is seven I think and if the rumours are to be believed she killed someone’s dog because it wouldn’t stop barking. If that isn’t bad enough then the worst part is that she isn’t dead inside like the rest of them, she can feel everything and apparently it hurts her and that’s what she likes. It’s psychotic, I don’t think I even believe it. It has to be made up, right? Anyway, I need to speak to Damon and let him know that I’m leaving, one more job and I’m gone. I don’t even care if it doesn’t pay all that well, and I guess we could leave now. Do I really need to stay for one more? I’m sure I’ve got enough saved that we can make a decent start. A fifteen year old looking after a six year old, we could go anywhere, who would bat an eye at that.

  Fuck my life, I am so screwed. Unless, I can find someone who is old enough to put their name down on some property, renting of course. I haven’t got enough to buy a place, I wonder who could help us. Maybe I should have a word with Asher, he always seems to have a solution no matter what the situation is.

  ROXIE’S FACE goes from overjoyed to pissed off in a nanosecond, all she had to do was look at Ivy and all good feelings went flying out of the window.

  “What is she doing here?” You could cut through the tension and animosity with a knife.

  “She wanted to come in case Henleigh here decided to get up and play, I can also go wherever I fucking well please you snot-nosed bitch,” Ivy shoves her hands into Roxie, making her stagger back into the wall.

  “Wow, calm down Ivy. This is supposed to be a fun, carefree week not one filled with fighting,” I say, as I grab her arm and pull her away before she can try to do anymore damage.

  “She isn’t welcome here,” Roxie spits out and Bella and Mikaela are on hand to hold her back as well.

  “She isn’t staying here, we’ll be staying in a place near the city centre. She will be staying though, if she wants to be here then she can,” I say, trying to stay calm as everything falls apart around us.

  “Hang on, you’re not staying here?” Roxie asks, her tone growing soft and I can hear the hurt as well as see it in her eyes.

  “It isn’t anything against you ladies, you know I adore you. But I still have issues with people being in my personal space and I’m not the easiest person to sleep near, I’ll still be spending time with you ladies. On our own as well, but I would love it if you lot could at least try to get along while we’re here,” I’m trying to appeal to my kind-hearted friend, the one who has been there for me through everything I've faced. I hope I can reach her and she can see that I’m not choosing Ivy over her, over them.

  I can’t tell her everything though, like how I saw a text on Bella’s phone that has me doubting her. How I don’t know if I can trust the people in my life and tell the truth from the lies, it's getting beyond a joke right now but I can’t stay in a place with people I don’t trust. I trust Ivy and I trust my guys, but at least one of these girls is a wild card.

  “Whatever you need baby girl, I told you before I’ve got you and I always
will,” she tries to hug me but my body locks up and my hands shake like I’m stuck in an earthquake. She’s smiling at me and I can see the understanding but it only just covers the pain I’ve caused. At least she doesn’t know about the trust part of it, yet I have no idea why it’s happening for her. I trust her more than anyone. Don’t I?

  “Come on, we should be having fun. We’re all back together and we can have a proper girlie day, what do you say Ivy?” Bella asks, being her usual friendly bubbly self, I wish I didn’t think it was all an act.

  “Yea, I can do girlie but I don’t do pink,” she says with her hands on her hips and Bella can’t help but jump up and down in excitement, I hate girlie days but I’ll do it for them.

  “I AM EXHAUSTED,” I groan as I fall back onto the bed and Ivy can’t contain her laugh, but I’m deadly serious. Those girls have knackered me out.

  “It was fun, shame Roxie couldn’t pull that stick out of her arse long enough to get over me being there, but it was still good,” she says as she strips off, modesty be damned, to put her pj’s on.

  “There has to be more to the way you two are, there’s so much hate between you two. What happened?” She glances down at the floor and starts picking at her nails.

  “Your phone’s ringing,” she says quietly and the phrase, saved by the bell, has never felt more apt than it does right now.

  “This isn’t over,” I say before I hit accept. “Hey tough guy, missing me already?” I can’t keep the smile from slipping through into my voice, I’m beyond made up that he’s calling me.

  “Hen, I missed you the moment you left my door this morning. How’s it going, you had a good day so far?”

  “Yeah it’s been fun and interesting to say the least. It was a little touch and go when we first arrived but things started to improve as the day wore on,” I reply, glancing at Ivy and seeing how fidgety she’s becoming.

 

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