Painting Home

by Jolma, Erika;

  "Oh, Tawnie. I'm sorry." Feodora wrapped her into a hug. A whiff of vodka surrounded both of them. Pulling away, Feodora dragged Tanya upstairs. "But it's too late to back out now."

  "So, you wore this green dress last night. What about this red one?" Feodora held up a red satin dress that had clearly seen better days. It was knee-length with black buttons up the front and a black satin sash that would cinch any loose fabric around Tanya's waist.

  Tanya stepped behind the changing screen to try it on, looking longingly at the small stack of practical cotton dresses folded under her bunk. She would never be comfortable in red satin. Then again, she would never be comfortable going out on a date with Lieutenant so-and-so.

  She buttoned the red dress up the front and adjusted the loose fabric where she could. Stepping out from behind the screen, she did a little twirl, and Feodora let out a low whistle. She reached over and unbuttoned the top button. "Let's show a little décolletage."

  Tanya's hand instinctively flew up to cover her pale chest, but Feodora was right. If she did this, she needed to look the part. And act the part. "What should I do when I see him, Fe?"

  "You smile your biggest, walk up to him, and plant a big one on his lips." She laughed hysterically, the vodka clearly telling her she was funnier than she was.

  "Ha-ha."

  "OK, so not on his lips, but a seductive little kiss on his cheek wouldn't hurt."

  "I don't want seductive. I want to survive the night with some dignity intact."

  "If you want to do that, you'll need to be a little seductive."

  Tanya swallowed hard. What was she getting herself into? Maybe it would be better to die on the streets. Maybe.But the baby. This was her baby's only means of survival. She had no choice but to do this. "OK, Fe, seductive it is." Tanya's lips formed into a sultry pout and she stuck her hand on her hip, swinging it out wide.

  Swaggering her hips as she walked down the stairs, she turned and blew a kiss at Feodora, and then made her way out into the cool evening air. She hailed a pedi cab and stepped in. With a deep sigh, she closed her eyes and tried to pretend she lived in a different world.

  A world where good men didn't die as a result of senseless accidents, lonely widows had a means to provide for themselves, and pregnant women didn't have to sell kisses to officers in exchange for a loaf of bread.

  21

  Kalajoki, Finland

  Anna wrinkled her nose at the dingy basement and brought her hand up to her face, trying to brush away the tickle so she wouldn't sneeze.

  Pastor Laiho had agreed to let her use the church's basement for her Junior War Committee meetings, but since the maintenance staff rarely ventured down there, it was up to her to make the room usable.

  Looking around, this was a tall order. Concrete walls stood starkly around her with only rusty pipes to break the monotony of gray. The floor was also concrete, only it had been painted a dingy cream color. Whoever had come up with the idea of painting a floor cream had clearly not thought that through. Muddy stains marked the floor every few inches. She needed to go find some chairs. There wasn't a woman in her committee who would agree to sit on that floor. Good thing she had come twenty minutes early.

  She inspected two dark closets looking for chairs before finally finding eight wooden ones. They would have to do. If more than eight people came, she'd stand. Dragging the chairs one-by-one into the meeting room, she arranged them in a circle around a small pine table. The table was in much better shape than the rest of the furniture. It actually even looked clean, so Anna placed a loaf of her Äiti's pulla on the table along with a knife and some linen napkins.

  Nothing like making do.

  A rustle startled her and she looked up to see Kaino, as well as their friend Mary scooting into two of the chairs. Last winter, Anna and Mary had knitted socks and packed boxes for soldiers.

  "Hi, Anna. How are things?" Mary looked at her with sad eyes. Mary's father had been killed last winter by a Russian bullet.

  "Good, Mary. And you?"

  "Better. We still miss my father so much, but things are looking up now that Mr. Annala and the boys are helping with the farm." Mary had grown up an only child, and so her father's death had nearly destroyed their family's farm. Mary and her mother weren't able to keep up on their own, but fortunately, the Annala family from Karelia had moved in just in time to help with the spring planting. Now they were helping with the fall harvest. A blessing in disguise.

  Kind of like when the Rantas had moved in with them.

  "I'm so glad, Mary. If you need more, I know that Mr. Ranta and the boys would be happy to help. We have more than enough men to share."

  Everyone laughed.

  Mary shook her head. "And Kaino? How's Johannes doing?" Mary's voice was pinched.

  Tears sprang to Kaino's eyes. She missed her on-again, off-again boyfriend. It was enough to drive everyone around her crazy. Anna and Mary shared a commiserating look as Kaino launched into a sappy dissertation about the agony of being away from the only man she’d ever loved and the anguish of having to communicate by letters when he was stuck in a hospital somewhere in Helsinki. Kaino wouldn’t rest easy until he was home safe in her arms. Oh, and until there was a shiny, gold ring on her finger.

  Anna smiled. Sure, Kaino was a bit dramatic, but she was also her best friend and she meant well. "Maybe we can think of something to help Johannes and the boys this winter."

  "I hear that most of the soldiers have been reassigned to help with the refugee crisis as part of the Rapid Resettlement Act." Their friend Paivi walked into the room and set a notebook on a chair.

  "Yes, that's what I've heard." Anna hated the thought of so many refugees pouring into Helsinki. Not only because it would mean a tough winter, but also because she knew what it would tear Matti up. Anna couldn't imagine how he would react to seeing fresh reminders on every street corner. She glanced at her wristwatch. Five minutes more and they would get started.

  Mary stood up and helped herself to some pulla, slathering her slice with the butter Anna had carefully churned this morning. At least they weren't under strict food rations yet. Anna had heard that flour and sugar and butter were practically non-existent in London. She couldn't imagine life without sugar or flour. What would they eat? With the way things were going, she might soon find out.

  And if giving up her pulla would bring Matti and the other soldiers home quicker, she would do it in a heartbeat.

  Two of her other committee members, Soylï and Katarina walked in.

  Anna looked at them with a smile. "Thank you for coming."

  A few more stragglers trickled in.

  Anna handed each a napkin with a slice of sweet, warm bread. "Shall we get started?" She brushed crumbs off of her skirt. Pulling her chair closer to the center, she prayed over their meeting and then pulled out a bag.

  Balls of gray wool yarn and knitting needles fell out onto the floor. "I know we don't need socks for the soldiers right now, but I figured that some of the refugees could probably use something warm. Plus, sitting here with idle hands drives me crazy."

  Kaino grabbed a ball of yarn and two needles and elbowed Anna in the side. "We haven't even decided what our next group effort is and you're already giving us jobs to do."

  "Just doing my part to keep everyone warm and dry."

  "Everyone?Or a certain blond-haired soldier?" Kaino teased.

  Glaring, Anna looked around the room, not sure if any of the others knew about Matti. Or if she wanted them to know.

  Mary looked up. "Anna?"

  Anna puckered her lips and blew out a frustrated breath. "All right, so I met someone. He's a soldier from Karelia and he's now working on Rapid Resettlement Duty in Helsinki."

  "And his name is?" Katarina stood up to help herself to another slice of bread.

  "Matti Ranta."

  "Wait…" Wheels seemed to turn in Mary's head. "Isn't the refugee family that your family took in called Ranta?"

  Anna looked down at h
er shoe and rubbed a speck of mud off the painted floor vigorously. "Yes, they are. I met him when his family moved in with us…"

  "…and within a week, she was head over heels in love with the guy." Kaino finished her sentence with a smug smile.

  Anna frowned at her over her knitting needles. Head over heels in love? Not even close. "Shall we discuss what we came for?" Anna straightened her yarn and restored the conversation to a place that was a bit more comfortable.

  "You mean how to help Matti Ranta stay warm this winter?" Kaino was taking this a bit too far.

  Well, she wouldn't be telling Kaino anything ever again. "Maybe we could focus on refugees from Karelia this winter. I hear there are hundreds of thousands of them flooding Helsinki, and many have nowhere to live and very little to eat.”

  The conversation turned to a serious discussion about how they—just a ragtag group of poor farm girls from Kalajoki—could help.

  "I have an idea." Mary's cheeks reddened as the group turned to her. "What if we were to collect foodstuffs and blankets for the refugees? Then we could package up the goods in boxes and ship them to the camps in Helsinki."

  "But everyone here is trying to store up as much as they can to survive the winter with our own flood of refugees. Not many have food and clothes to spare." Katarina brought the voice of reason.

  Anna's family had doubled their garden size and sent the boys out on countless fishing expeditions to make sure they'd have enough to feed both themselves and the Rantas over the winter. How could they ask the townspeople to give, when they hardly had enough for themselves?

  "Well," Mary added, "we're all short on supplies right now, but we have so much more than most of the refugees. In fact, I read in the newspaper that we are best off. Relatively few refugees have made it all the way up here, and relatively little of our food is going to the front. We have more than most. I was talking to my mother, and she suggested that we could ask each family to give up five items—it could be five tins of pickled herring or five jars of applesauce or five pairs of socks. That way, everyone is sacrificing a little. A lot of little sacrifices can go a long way."

  Anna's mind reeled with the possibility. She knew her family didn't have a tin of herring to spare, but she could probably convince everyone to miss one measly meal. It could make a huge difference. Anna looked around the room and saw her own concerns mirrored on the faces of the others.

  Could they make this work?

  Kaino's eyes brightened. "Maybe we make posters. Say something like ‘Five to Keep Them Alive’ and hang them all over town."

  Excited murmurs picked up.

  "I think this really could work," Mary said.

  "I think we should do it." For the first time in weeks, Anna felt fulfilled. She was doing something worthwhile.

  "Wait," Katrina said. "How would we get the supplies to Helsinki? Last winter, shipping cost almost more money than we could afford."

  "I thought of that." Mary smiled. "What if we were to load the boxes into the cargo compartment of the passenger train to Helsinki? I asked down at the train station, and it costs less to buy cargo space than it does to ship using the postal service. We would have to send someone to Helsinki to make sure everything gets offloaded and carted away as it should."

  Anna's heart danced into her throat. Someone would go to Helsinki?

  "But train tickets are expensive too." Katarina's eyes widened.

  "I know. But still not as much as shipping. We can buy tickets on standby for only a few marks if there are open seats. We would just have to be flexible with our dates. And whoever goes would have to arrange to pack and haul several loads of supplies when she arrived."

  Anna smiled at her friend. Clearly, she had been doing a lot of thinking as of late.

  "And I think Kaino and Anna should be the ones to make the trip to Helsinki," Mary finished.

  Anna's gaze snapped over to Mary. She had never been more than ten kilometers away from Kalajoki. Helsinki? If she went, could she see Matti?

  "How would we pay for those tickets?" Kaino sounded so skeptical.

  Anna had been wondering the same thing. She had money saved for her passage to America, but she simply couldn't spend it on a frivolous trip to the capitol. Or should she? For the refugees?

  Mary grinned. "My mother told me she was willing to chip in cash from my father's death benefit if it would help the refugees. She said if we can raise the supplies, she'll pay for the train tickets."

  The entire group erupted into applause.

  Kaino and Anna exchanged a wary look. Was it possible?

  Anna cleared her throat, unable to hide her smile. "Do you think we could have our collection done by the end of November? I'd love to have supplies collected so we could get them on a train down to Helsinki before Christmas. We would be like Saint Nicholas—taking the Christmas train to spread gifts and cheer to the refugees."

  "I think we can do it if we all work together." Mary set her hands in her lap as if the decision was made.

  "I like this plan. Thank you, Mary." Anna looked at her feet. Why didn't she feel as excited as she should? Was it that she didn't believe it would happen? Maybe she wasn't sure what she would find when she arrived in Helsinki. Or maybe she couldn't quite allow her heart to imagine what it would be like to see Matti again. If she let her thoughts go there, she'd be able to think of nothing else until December.

  22

  Helsinki, Finland

  Tiny white snowflakes drifted down from gray skies, soaking Matti's hair and fur-lined collar. He had never minded snow until last winter, but after spending months shivering in frost-filled trenches, he wouldn't mind if he never saw a snowflake again.

  Maybe when this war was over he'd marry Anna and move somewhere warm—like the French Riviera.

  Bad idea. France was occupied by the Nazis, who were the only people in the world worse than the Russians.

  Anyway, Anna seemed to want nothing to do with marrying him. But maybe he could change her mind?

  Matti stomped his boots and brushed snow off of his jacket and then stepped inside the Army Corps barracks building. At least here there was a place to get away from the relentless cold. Hanging his coat on a hook near the door, he pulled off his navy-blue wool gloves and walked over to the fire roaring in a wood stove in the corner. He held his hands in front of the flames, allowing them to turn from cold, to burning, to numb.

  Sinking down onto a hard sofa in the commons room, Matti closed his eyes as a wave of nostalgia enveloped him. What he wouldn't give to sink into the soft, velvety cushions of his mother's dark green sofa. Leaning against the pillows, he could almost feel the warmth of home and smell the aroma of hot, sugared pulla baking in the oven.

  How he longed for home…or a freezing cold trench with a Molotov cocktail in his hands.

  He twisted his mouth into a frown. How ironic it was that he wanted one or the other, but not this.

  Matti pulled his small leather Bible out of his front pocket and flipped to Phillipians 4:4. "Rejoice in the Lord always, again I say rejoice." He ran his fingers along the verse he had read so many times, contemplating the words that had carried him through so much difficulty. He’d always believed God had a perfect plan in everything. Even in tough times, he’d reminded himself to rejoice. But now? Now that he was stuck in Helsinki sitting on scratchy olive drab linen while the Russians made themselves at home on his Äiti's green velvet sofa?

  He hardly felt like rejoicing.

  For the first time in his life, Matti questioned God's plan. Johan and others had died for…this? How could he rejoice in a God that allowed so much suffering?

  Matti slammed the Bible shut and looked up toward the ceiling. God, if You're real, show me that there is a purpose in all this. He waved his hands around the room, not caring that people might see him and think he was acting crazy. Because right now, I'm feeling like a lot of bad stuff has happened and nothing good has come out of it. A crinkling in his front pocket reminded him that the
re was at least one good thing that had come out of this war.

  Anna.

  He pulled out her latest letter from his pocket and leaned back against the scratchy cushions. He reread the words that had almost made his heart stop earlier that day.

  Oh, Matti, I'm so excited to tell you about our "Five to Keep Them Alive" campaign. The Kalajoki Junior War Committee has asked everyone in town to donate five items to help the refugees. You should see how much we have collected! We have dozens of boxes of hats, scarves, mittens and socks, piles of warm blankets and more than three hundred jars of preserves. It'll really bless needy families and I'm so grateful that our little town was able to do so much.

  But here's the best part, soldier boy. The committee members have agreed to send Kaino and me on the train to Helsinki to deliver the supplies in person. Yes, that's right! Would you have time to spend a few days with a lonely farm girl from way up north?

  Matti's face cracked into a grin. Did he have time? There was no one in the world he'd rather spend a few days with than Anna. He pulled out a pencil and began to draft a response.

  Anna,

  When I read that you were coming to Helsinki, I jumped up and down and did a little jig through the mess hall. The guys all thought I had trench fever, but after realizing that I had gotten a letter from you they realized I was just crazy.

  I can't wait for you to come!

  Please hurry. It's getting awfully lonely down here with only the snow and the guys to keep me company. Come quickly! And bring some sturdy socks (ones without holes)…it's cold here in Helsinki.

  Tapping his pen against the table, he looked up and spotted Takala and Käärme coming toward him. He quickly folded the page and put it in his front pocket. The letter would have to wait. He would never hear the end of it from the guys if they knew he was being so flirty with a woman.

  "There you are, Ranta." Takala stepped up behind him, grabbed his arm, and pulled him up into a standing position.

  "Hello." Matti quickly saluted his captain.