Leningrad, Russia
"Tea, my dear?" Vera called up the stairs to where Tanya was resting.
"I'd love some. Be right down!" Tanya called back as she hoisted herself off her bed and hobbled down the stairs.
"What about Feodora?" Vera asked.
"She went out for a while."
Feodora had actually spent the night at a hotel with a soldier last night, but Tanya wasn't about to tell Vera. So far, they'd managed to keep their work a secret from Vera, although Tanya suspected Vera knew more than she let on.
Running a clenched fist over her lower back, Tanya lowered herself into a threadbare chair in the corner of Vera's dusty living room while Vera poured tea into chipped china teacups. Tanya imagined that at one point, tea at Vera's house was a festive place—full of creamy teas, delicious pastries, and beautiful decorations.
Now they had plain tea and toast, but it was still wonderful to Tanya. After what she'd lived through a few months ago, she would never take something as simple as tea and toast for granted again.
"So, how are you getting situated, my dear?"
Tanya looked up absentmindedly and reminded herself to stay in the moment. "Oh, it's lovely here."
"And how are you feeling, you know, with the baby?"
"I've had some minor pains, but I'm fine. I have at least a month to go, so I'm trying not to think about it. No use getting nervous now."
Vera smiled, as if she understood perfectly. The room grew silent, a sentimental gaze settling across Vera's wrinkled features. Looking at the wall, Vera pointed to a tiny picture of a young, tow-headed girl with pig-tails and big white ribbons. "That's my Lillya. She was a lot like you." Vera's thin, frail voice seemed to come alive as she spoke about her daughter. "When she was a little girl, she desperately wanted to go to school, but the system only let boys go. Our neighbor boy had a big test coming up in Russian literature and so Lillya offered to help him study. When he brought home his test, she covered the answers with her hand so she could quiz herself. She got a perfect score."
Tanya laughed. "That does sound like me. I loved school when I was a girl."
Vera cracked a tentative smile. "Even though I lost her so long ago, God blessed me with an everyday reminder of her with Sergei. He's his mother's son—independent, strong-willed, and smart."
"And where is he now?"
"He was sent out to the front to prepare for the invasion. News is that it could happen as early as March or April."
Tanya's eyes shot up. "I’m still hoping that's just a rumor. Maybe the Germans will leave us alone. Feodora says that one of her friends in the Red Army says that Hitler wouldn't dare invade Russian soil. Nobody is that crazy."
"I sure hope you're right, but something in me tells me that Hitler will try."
Tanya looked Vera in the eyes. "What will we do if the Nazi's come to Leningrad?"
"Weren't you the one who was just telling me that we can't get nervous about tomorrow's trouble today? We'll figure it out, Tanya. For now, we just need to pray."
"Sure, yes." Tanya smiled hoping Vera wouldn’t be able to see through her hesitation. She could happily follow along with an old lady's misguided prayers, if it meant she had a safe place to live with her daughter.
Vera smiled softly, bowed her head and folded her hands.
Tanya followed obligingly.
"Heavenly Father, it seems as if Leningrad is on the brink of something terrible. The Nazis are pressing in from the west and the Finns from the north and we're trapped in the middle, unsure of where to go and what to do. Lord, protect us! Keep our city safe from this terrible persecution. We know You have a plan in this, and we trust You that Your will be done. Amen."
Tanya wiped an errant tear from her cheek, smiling bravely. Vera was so much like her own grandmother that she couldn't help but get a bit sentimental hearing her pray.
Even if she didn't believe in God.
26
Ylivieska, Finland
Anna could hardly believe they’d pulled it off. Not only had the Kalajoki Junior War Committee members been able to collect twenty boxes of foodstuffs, but they had gathered several steamer trunks full of wool blankets, winter coats, and crocheted mittens for the refugees. And they gathered it all just in time for Christmas.
Anna carefully stepped into the white wooden train station, steadying herself so she wouldn't slip on the wet wood-paneled floor. It had been snowing on and off for four days straight and the streets were covered with muddy ice, most of which had now been trampled into the train station by soaked travelers hoping to get inside.
Squinting against the rows of flickering lights inside the station, Anna turned toward Kaino and blinked to adjust her eyes. With the seemingly ever-present darkness in December near the arctic, her eyes weren't accustomed to bright lights. She checked the clock on the wall. Thankfully they still had more than an hour before the train departed.
Her Papa and two of the Ranta boys had brought the boxes of supplies down to the station yesterday and loaded them into a cargo hold. They’d be loaded into the cargo area of the train by the porters before it left, which meant she had nothing to do but wait.
Anticipation made her want to break into a foxtrot. She was going to Helsinki. Of course, the purpose of the trip was to help the refugees, but she’d also get to see Matti…
As quickly as her excitement grew, so did her nervousness. She had no idea what to expect. With the way they had left things, she wasn't sure what he was even thinking. Although, his letters...well, they’d certainly hinted that he was thinking of her. A little at least.
"Let's go grab a cup of coffee from the café before we board." Kaino pulled her toward the tiny train station café.
With their too-heavy bags over their shoulders, they walked across the platform and slid into chairs at a corner table. Anna tugged off her damp wool gloves and rubbed her hands together, leaning toward the fire that roared in the rock-hewn fireplace in the corner.
Flickering sconces on the walls illuminated other soaked travelers trying to warm up before what was sure to be a long ride.
When she looked at Kaino, she saw that her friend also wavered between excitement and nervousness about the trip.
"You all right, Kai?"
Kaino bit her lip. "Yeah. I think so. Just worried about seeing Johannes again. It's been so long."
"You and Johannes have so much history. I know things will pick up right where they left off."
"I hope so. Are you nervous about seeing Matti?"
"A bit. We've written every day, but I still wonder if the three weeks we spent together was enough to carry our relationship. What if it's all different this time?"
Kaino put a protective arm on Anna's shoulder and squeezed tightly. "It will be all right. You'll see."
The train whistle clanged in the station, and a voice on the loudspeaker screamed something about boarding.
Anna swigged the last few sips of her coffee and tugged her still-damp gloves over her hands. Tightening her scarf, she followed Kaino back into the waiting room and onto the platform.
"Do you have your ticket?" Kaino asked absentmindedly, fumbling around in the pockets of her red wool coat.
"Of course." Anna pulled hers out of her handbook—exactly where she had put it—and then pulled on a scrap of white from the side of Kaino's handbag. "Here. Looks as if we're in car ten, box four."
They approached the doorway leading to the platform and Anna paused, bracing herself for the sub-zero cold that came with Kalajoki winters. She had lived here her entire life, but the icy chill still took her breath away when she stepped outside. Steam and the scent of burning coal mixed with the freezing air, made Anna feel as if she were inhaling sooty icicles. Crinkling up her nose, she turned to Kaino. "Hurry. I'm freezing!"
They counted the cars and made their way down the platform, stopping in front of a car that had clearly once been red, but now boasted varying shades of grey, red and mud.
"Let's hope t
he inside is nicer than the outside." Anna sighed. Not the most luxurious travel accommodations. She quickly joined the crowd filing onto the train, pausing only to turn around and wave goodbye to no one in particular.
Kaino laughed and then tugged her onto the car, dragging her down the aisle through the dense cigarette smoke to Box four. "Knock knock!" Kaino knocked on an imaginary door, sliding into the car and scooted into one of the last two open seats in the box.
Anna glanced at her watch, making a mental calculation of the time. Quarter past seven. If all went well, they'd be in Helsinki in time for dinner. Of course, she had an entire day cooped up in this drafty box with screaming kids to deal with first. If only she could board one of those fancy fighter jets Matti had been writing about. He'd told her that a VL Pyry could fly from Helsinki to the Arctic Circle in less than two hours. Wouldn't that be magnificent?
Anna couldn't keep her thoughts from turning to their relationship. In his last letter, Matti had promised to meet her at the train station with a smile and a kiss. A giggle escaped Anna's lips as she reached down to straighten out her already-wrinkled dress, hoping that she looked somewhat presentable when she arrived. At the rate she was going, she would be a haggard mess by the time she stepped off that train.
Anna glanced over at Kaino, who was already leaning against the wall with an opened novel. She should probably settle in.
She pulled her well-worn copy of The Maid Silja along with a cloth-wrapped slice of limpua out of her bag and then scooted her sack underneath her feet. Doing her best to find a comfortable position, Anna opened her novel, hoping to get swept away into the story, the clacking of the train wheels echoing in the background of her mind, keeping rhythm with the too-slow ticking of the clock.
The train jerked, knocking Anna's book out of her hands.
"What was that?" Kaino wiped her eyes and rolled her shoulders before standing to peek out of the tiny circular window on the side of their car. "It seems like we're slowing down."
Anna looked at her watch. They were still more than four hours from Helsinki and the train wasn't scheduled to make any stops.
"We're definitely slowing down." Kaino pointed out the window and turned to Anna. "Should I go see what's going on?" She opened the sliding door that led into the main aisle in the center of the train and shook her head. "Everyone else has the same idea."
Kaino returned to her seat and sat.
Anna stifled the urge to fidget. The train continued to slow down until, with a slow jolt, it stopped.
Anna closed her eyes and swallowed the lump that crept into her throat. Maybe it was just a temporary slow-down. The conductor needed a break or something. Surely they'd be on their way soon.
Twenty minutes later, a concierge stepped inside their car. "We apologize for the delay. We've run into an unexpected blizzard, and the ice on the rails is making it impossible for us to move on. We're hoping to be moving in a few hours."
A few hours?
Anna looked at her watch again and realized that would put them into Helsinki well after midnight. Matti would have to head back to the barracks to sleep and her plans for a romantic evening would be ruined. She turned to Kaino, who wore a stricken expression.
"It's all right, Kai. We will still see them tomorrow." Anna said it as much to convince herself as she did to support Kaino. Weather could stop the train for days. Who knew how long they would be stuck out here?
Wide-eyed, Kaino stared out the window.
Anna stood and stretched her arms above her head, doing her best to shake off despairing thoughts. She should have expected something like this to happen. This trip had fallen together so seamlessly from the very moment they had planned it that Anna should have known. Because nothing ever turned out as expected.Especially in the winter in war-torn Finland.
She shivered, the cold air from outside making its way under the loose sliding door and straight to her heart. Maybe it was better this way anyway. Everything in her head warned her against getting too close to Matti, yet her heart seemed all too ready to shove those warnings aside.
But she knew better than to get involved with a man who was going off to war. He could die like Henrik. Or get wounded. Or change his mind about her as he fought in Russia.
Yes, maybe this was better. She slouched into her seat and forced herself to inhale. Maybe if she could turn this train around, she could forget all about Matti. Maybe she could move to America, go to the university, paint pictures, get on with her life.
It made rational sense. But the mere thought of leaving him made her stomach clench. Her rapidly beating heart told her what her brain couldn't seem to comprehend. Her heart already belonged to Matti whether she wanted it to or not.
27
Helsinki, Finland
Matti ran his fingers through his hair and paced back and forth in the long hallway of the Helsinki Central Railway Station. Butterflies pounded in his stomach, as if they had gotten tired of flitting and now were playing a loud concert, pounding, thumping and jumping around like crazy.
He laughed at himself. Seeing Anna had him more nervous than pretty much anything he had ever done.
Including fighting in the war.
Looking at his watch for the twentieth time, he made his way back down the long corridor. The train was already twenty minutes late and he was a nervous wreck, which wasn't good after having spent the afternoon trying to convince the guys—and himself—that he wasn't totally falling apart at the thought of seeing Anna again.
He wasn't nervous about Anna. He knew without a doubt that she was the one. He had imagined his future with her a million times—the two of them building a beautiful cabin by the lake, raising berries and cattle, spending their days laughing and frolicking and doing all the things that married couples do.
That was exactly what he wanted.
Matti stepped up to the window and looked out onto the snowy Helsinki streets. Lord, I know Anna is the right woman for me. And I pray that the next four days are a time where our relationship will blossom, so that we can eventually become man and wife. He groaned. Had he just thought that? Prayed that?
Anna had changed him. For the better. Six months ago, he hadn't cared who he’d hurt with his anger. Now, he not only cared, but he felt compelled to fight hard for what he believed in because he knew that free Finland—for Anna and for their future—was worth it.
How could he convince her of the same thing?
A picture of her hopping on a ship to America flashed through his mind and his stomach clenched. No, that couldn't happen. He needed Anna as much as he needed fresh air to breathe or food to eat.
The big clock on the wall of the train station bonged five times and an announcer's voice boomed over the loudspeaker. “Train number one-five-four-three from Ylivieska has been delayed. We are unsure as to when it will arrive."
Gulping in a deep breath, Matti suppressed a groan before turning to get in line at the ticket counter. He didn't care how long he waited, he would see Anna tonight.
"Yes, sir. Do you have any information on Train one-five-four-three?"
"No. Only that the last train to come in from the north said that the tracks were freezing over, and a blizzard was passing through. We have no way of knowing when they will be able to get in."
Matti turned around and stared longingly out the window at the deserted platform.
He would wait.
As long as it took.
He wrapped his coat tightly around his shoulders and sank onto a hard, wooden chair. Closing his eyes, he tried to get comfortable enough to sleep, but his mind raced.
What if Anna didn't make it? What if her train was stuck out there for days and the ice storm trapped them and they all froze to death?
Matti shook his head. He was being silly. It was simply a weather-related delay. He would see Anna soon. He turned to see the bulletin board where people could write notes for arriving passengers. It was filled with slips of paper and names, and a slew of men and women
crowded around the board to write their own notes.
No. He would never do that to Anna. He wanted to be here when she arrived.
Twenty minutes later, he stood alone in the cavernous building.
Alone to think.To pray.To worry.
He shivered, pulled his collar up high around his ears, and settled in. He would wait as long as it took.
~*~
The shrill of a train whistle jolted Matti from a troubled sleep at the same time the announcer came over the intercom. "Train one-five-four-three arriving from Ylivieska."
Matti bolted upright and blinked several times, trying to bring sense to his surroundings. Oh, yes. He was at the train station.
He glanced at his watch. It was well after midnight. He licked his lips and headed toward the water fountain to get a drink of water. He must look a mess!
Finding Platform three, he raced out onto the deserted walkway, the lone man willing to brave the sub-zero temperatures. Or the long wait for the delayed train.
He wrapped his scarf tightly around his nose, hoping to block out some of the fierce wind. Squinting, he stared down the tracks into the dark midnight air and spotted the bright light of the train as it moved toward him on the tracks.
Closing his eyes, he quickly prayed calm nerves and then swung his hands behind his back, clutching them there in order to keep from fidgeting.
The train slowed to a stop. The blast of the train whistle drowned out the clacking of the wheels down the tracks.
He adjusted the collar on his jacket and blew out a cold breath, steam wafting up into the air. A few moments later, bedraggled passengers filed off the train, stretching their legs before hurrying into the warmth of the station. He scanned the faces, looking for the woman he would recognize anywhere.
There. Toward the back.
He pushed his way through weary passengers, nearly sprinting now that he’d laid eyes on her. The wind whipped a wisp of hair across her face, and she reached up and tucked it behind her ear. Glancing up, she locked gazes with him. Her eyes smiled before her mouth did. "Matti," she mouthed.
"Anna!" He shouted and ran toward her, not caring who he had to push out of the way to get to her side. Finally arriving, he wrapped her up in his arms and spun her around. "It's great to see you!"
Painting Home Page 11