Painting Home

by Jolma, Erika;

  "OK, well, you and little Vera will be fine." Matti tried to reassure her, wiping away the tears that streamed down her cheeks.

  "Bring…her to me."

  Takala gently placed the baby in Tanya's trembling lap, making sure she had a cracker in both of her hands before he let her go.

  Silence fell over the forest as Tanya closed her eyes and nuzzled her baby's head. After what seemed like an hour, Tanya looked up to Matti. "Water?"

  He ran back to his pack and grabbed his canteen, squatting down to give the baby a swig before turning to look Tanya in the eye. "Tanya, we have enough for both of you. I promise."

  She hesitated before grabbing a cracker and eating it slowly, closing her eyes after each bite.

  "So, tell me what you're doing up here?" Compassion flooded his soul.

  "I… I had no bread, no way to feed…her. I thought that maybe I could find a soldier who would trade…you know…"

  "Have you done that before?"

  "Before the war, I…I uh, I lost my husband and so I dated the officers in the army for money." Tanya confessed readily, as if purging her soul.

  Matti's heart flooded with compassion. The poor woman had been desperate for so long.

  "God forgives you," Matti whispered softly.

  "God…I don't believe in Him anymore." Tanya's words were barely a whisper.

  "Why not?"

  "He took everything…everyone…from me."

  "And you wonder how a loving God could allow all this suffering?"

  Tanya opened her mouth and then shut it again.

  Matti lowered himself onto the hard ground next to Tanya and looked her straight in the eye. "I can't explain why things happen when they do. I don't know your story or what has happened, but I do know that God is here. He is everywhere. And He loves you."

  "He could…never love me."

  "He led you here, to us, didn't He? I have a feeling we're amongst the only soldiers in this entire encirclement who wouldn't have taken you prisoner or worse."

  Tanya smiled weakly. "He did…do that."

  "Did you pray for a miracle?"

  Tears welled up in Tanya's eyes. "I didn't, but my friends did. My friends Vera and Feodora and Agripina all prayed fervently that somehow, some way, little Verushka would survive this siege. Every one of them believed she would survive. Even when things looked impossible."

  "Do you believe now?"

  "No," Tanya whimpered.

  "Even after God brought you here?"

  Realization dawned in her crystal-blue eyes. "I can't."

  "You must."

  "But what if He won't take me?"

  Matti turned back to Takala who leaned against a tree, listening to their conversation.

  They were talking about much more than the baby's survival. "He will. God takes anyone—saint or sinner—they just have to trust Him and be willing to give their whole life—heart and soul—to Him."

  A wave of understanding showed on her face. "I do want that. I want Him."

  "Will you pray with me?"

  She nodded slowly, her blue eyes sparkling with tears.

  "Father God, thank You for bring Tanya and Verushka to us. Thank You for leading them here so that we can help them. Lord, we know that You are real and You are working in our lives and I pray that You fill Tanya with a sense of peace right now that goes beyond human understanding. Help her to feel Your presence and to know without a doubt that You are real. And that You love her…"

  Tanya interrupted, her voice gaining strength as the words poured forth. "God…please…forgive me. I want to come back to You."

  Her words came out weak and feathery but Matti understood them perfectly. He leaned closer and rubbed Tanya's arm, helping her take another bite of her cracker.

  Did that really just happen? Had he just led a desperate Russian prostitute to Jesus?

  Praise God.

  Matti looked up at Takala, who stared at him wide-eyed.

  Maybe next he'd start working on Takala's relationship with the Lord.

  He smiled and turned his attention back to Tanya, slouched down against the rock. Baby Verushka lay on her lap, fiddling with a string on her dress.

  "Are you feeling better?" Matti hunched forward.

  Tanya managed a weak smile. "Much better. My heart feels…so light."

  "I meant physically, but I’m glad you're spiritually better too."

  "I'm better than I…have been in years." Tanya's smile radiated with a strength that seemed superhuman.

  "I'm glad. Now let's try to figure out what we're going to do to get you out of here to someplace safe."

  "No," Tanya's voice was getting weaker. "I...can't...I'm so tired."

  Matti gripped her shoulders and turned her toward him, desperate for her eyes to focus on his. “Stay awake, Tanya.” He shook her gently.

  But her head flopped forward.

  Matti cried out, "She's dying, Takala. Help me! Do something."

  Takala leaned over and put his fingers in front of her lips. "She's breathing, but so weak." He grabbed his canteen and dripped water into her mouth.

  Matti's throat tightened as emotion filled his chest. He had only known Tanya for a few minutes, but he already felt an eternal connection. He would save this woman and her baby even if it meant losing everything.

  58

  Kirjasalo, Kalajoki

  As if sensing something was wrong with her mama, Verushka started to wail loudly.

  Matti scooped her out of Tanya's arms and wrapped her tightly in the blanket from her pram. He patted her back and burrowed her close to his chest. "It's all right, little one. Shh Shh."

  Takala craned his neck around the trees. "Do you think anyone can hear her?"

  Matti searched the area behind them. "I doubt it. But we need to do something fast. Another patrol is bound to come by any moment."

  "Let's just waltz into camp with an unconscious woman hoisted over our shoulders while pushing a baby in a baby carriage." Takala cracked half a smile.

  "All right, we have to think. What can we do?" Matti pulled another rations kit out of his pack and handed Verushka a cracker. Hopefully she would calm down.

  Takala kneeled next to Tanya, dribbling water into her mouth. "Wake up!" His eyes grew wide. "Please, wake up."

  Tanya moaned and looked up at them, seemingly confused.

  Takala bent down and broke off a piece of the cracker and put it on her tongue.

  She chewed slowly. After a moment, she whispered, "H‒hh‒help..."

  Matti bent down and put his hand on her shoulder. "Tanya, please do not worry. We will take care of you."

  Takala glanced back at him and whispered. "How?"

  Matti shrugged. Squinting into the woods, he prayed he wouldn't see a patrol.

  Tanya moaned again. "Ve‒rrruuuu…"

  Matti gently set Verushka on Tanya's lap and made sure she was wrapped tightly. The baby cooed.

  "Tanya, please eat more. Slowly." Takala held the cracker and helped her take another bite.

  Tanya ate, her eyes closing and her mouth seeming to move in silent prayer.

  Takala pulled Matti aside. "Maybe we could try to bring them back into Leningrad—see if someone there could take care of them?"

  "They're starving in there…she just risked her life to escape. If she goes back, she'll die. We have to get her into Finland."

  "Finland? How would we ever get her to the border? And even if we got there, where could we bring them? Everyone is starving everywhere."

  "If I could get them to Anna…" Matti caught himself. Anna was leaving. He swallowed a lump of pain and focused on the baby. "If I could get them to my mom up in Kalajoki, I know she'd take her in. She would find a way.”

  Takala looked toward the north, scowling. "Kalajoki...."

  Matti took a deep breath. "Yes, Kalajoki. We just have to get them up there."

  Matti kicked a rock at his feet and sighed. This was impossible. There was no physical way to get Tanya a
nd Vera out of Russia.

  Unless....could he? "I could take them."

  "How could you take them? You have to report back into base in an hour."

  "But what if I don't? You could tell them something happened on this patrol..." Matti's voice quickened, the idea churning in his head. He could make it over the border.

  "You'll just hike through Karelia with a woman tagging along and a baby in your arms and hope for the best?"

  "Why not?" Matti shrugged. Tanya had done it. Why couldn't he?

  "And what am I supposed to do? Just pretend you're not around camp? People will ask."

  Matti frowned, the beginnings of a plan whirring through his mind. "What if you say I wandered off the path in my patrol to investigate something suspicious in a clearing?" That part was true at least.

  "And then?" Takala looked at him, his expression softening as he heard the rest of the desperate plan.

  "And that I never came back. Let them search for me for a few days."

  "Then as soon as I get them up to Finland, I'll find a way back down here. I'll make up a story about getting lost in the woods and hiding from Russian soldiers for a few days or something." Bit by bit, the plan fell into place in Matti's head. It could work.

  Takala stood and stared at him for several minutes.

  "Do you think they'll buy it?" Takala finally asked.

  "We have to at least try."

  Matti ran a gloved hand over his glistening forehead, walked around the clearing and began to collected pine boughs. "Come help me. I'll make a sled of some sort."

  Takala stepped toward Matti, resignation showing on his face. "Do you promise you'll come back? I'm...I'm not ready to have to face the loss of my best friend. Soldiers get shot for things like this."

  "I'll make it." Matti grabbed a six-inch bough and set it on the snowy ground. "I will get her up there and get back down here as quickly as I can."

  "It'll take a miracle from this God of yours, I think." Takala sighed.

  "Well, I think it's clear that He's in the business of miracles right now." Matti pointed at Tanya and the baby.

  "If you make it back, I just might believe it."

  "When I make it back, we'll talk." Matti looked at his friend.

  "Do you have any supplies?" Takala motioned to his pack.

  Matti shook his head. "No."

  It was Takala's turn to scowl. "I'll try to sneak into camp to get you some food and stuff. Otherwise, you'll end up in the same situation that Tanya is in."

  "What if someone sees you in camp?"

  "I'll figure that out when it happens." Takala blew out a big breath. "As I said, this will take a miracle for it to work. I'll be back as quickly as I can."

  Matti reached up with his knife, cut a low-hanging branch, and laid it on the ground next to the others. He collected more until he had twenty boughs lying across the snow. Then he pulled a length of rope from his sack and began to weave them together to form a rough sled. As he worked, he prayed. Lord, please help this to work. Tanya and Verushka must survive. Twenty minutes later, Matti spotted Takala's green-clad form sprinting toward the clearing.

  The baby let out a tired wail from her mama's lap.

  Matti twisted rope around another bough and looked toward his friend.

  "Here's food, a parka, a warm blanket and an extra canteen." Takala took his hand and inhaled. "Oh, and I grabbed some extra T-shirts…I thought you could use them for, for…you know."

  "For what?"

  "For diapers."

  Matti's heart raced. "I forgot about that."

  "Well, you must be used to the smell. She stinks!"

  "So, are you volunteering to change her?"

  "No, thank you." Takala laughed, but then his face grew sober. "So, do you…still think you should do this?"

  "I do." Matti did his best to force a smile. "It's our only choice."

  Together the men walked to Tanya and crouched down. "Tanya, we will leave in a couple of hours to try to get into Finland. It'll be a long night, so try to get some sleep right now."

  Tanya nodded, her eyes glistening. She patted her now-sleeping daughter on the back and whispered, "Thanks."

  With the baby finally quiet, Matti and Takala went back to the pine branches to finish the construction on their rudimentary sled. As he tied a rope around a small branch to make a handle, Matti thought of another kink in his plans. "Takala, what will I do once I reach Helsinki? I can't exactly take the train up to Kalajoki if they think I'm AWOL."

  Takala scowled again. They crouched in silence for a few minutes before Takala spoke again. "My sister lives in Helsinki. Her husband Aabraham has a truck…"

  He bent over to pull a piece of paper out of his pack and began scribbling. Aabraham, as a favor to me, please give my friend Matti Ranta anything he asks for. I will pay you back double as soon as I'm home. Pauli. He finished by scribbling down an address in the suburbs of Helsinki. "There. Just give that to him." He whispered.

  "What if someone stops me and asks for ID?"

  "I guess we just pray that no one does." Takala grabbed his shoulder and looked him in the eye. "Matti, I can't help but feel as though everything that has happened today has been an act of God." Takala clenched his jaw and shook his head.

  Matti stared at his friend for several minutes, blinked, and then put his hand on Takala’s shoulder. "My friend, I couldn't agree more. When I get back to camp, we'll have coffee and talk this through."

  "I think that’s the best we can do." Takala pursed his lips into a frown. "Let's hope it's enough."

  "No, let's trust it's enough." Matti patted his friend on his back. "Thank you, my friend." Matti sat down next to Tanya and leaned against the log. He saluted his friend and then whispered, "I think I need to get some sleep."

  "And I should be heading back to camp?"

  "Yes. You should. Goodbye, friend." Matti gave a weak smile.

  "Not goodbye. Just see you soon. You'd better come back here next week, or I'll really start to worry."

  "Just pray, Takala. Just pray."

  "I will. The entire time." Takala turned and strode off into the woods, leaving Matti alone with his thoughts.

  A starving, sick and desperate woman and her tiny baby were in his care. Now what?

  59

  Somewhere in Karelia

  Matti squinted at his watch and frowned. How long had he been hiking through the woods? He couldn't see the hour in the pitch-black, but he guessed it was well after midnight.

  In an attempt to avoid being spotted by patrols, he had taken a long and circuitous route around Kirjasalo, pulling the sled with a sleeping Tanya and Verushka for ten kilometers west before slowly edging his way north. Now, hours later, he figured he’d gone at least fifteen kilometers. Maybe even twenty.

  He stopped and lifted the wool blanket that covered Tanya and Verushka's faces. They had been silent for the last four hours. Both snored softly.

  He sighed deeply and resisted the temptation to lie down beside them. He was so tired. "Lord, give me the strength to make it through…"

  His eyes remained closed and he fought the temptation to sleep. He couldn't afford a nap—not tonight when he had to get as far from the front lines as possible if he wanted to make it into Finland safely. He couldn't afford a mistake—like going the wrong direction. Could he risk using a match to look at his compass? Did he have a choice?

  Sitting silently, he strained to hear the sounds of human activity in the forest, the crack of a branch, the rustle of leaves. But all was silent. He fingered his compass and took a deep breath.

  "Here goes," he whispered.

  Light flickered in front of him, and he quickly got his bearings and calculated his direction. If only the sky wasn't so cloudy, he'd be able to use the stars to navigate. But no such luck. Blowing out the match, he stood slowly, bracing himself for another long trek.

  "OK, girls," he whispered to Tanya and Verushka. "We're off yet again."

  He took off runnin
g, praying the dark path would be free of rocks, fallen logs and, worst of all, patrolling soldiers.

  60

  Somewhere in Karelia

  Dim light filtered through the needles in the trees, sending slivers of light into what was pitch-black forest moments before. Matti yawned. He would have to stop for the day soon—but if he hurried, he could make it another half kilometer or so before he had to hunker down and hide. He trudged on until he could easily see the outlines of trees.

  Was there anywhere safe to hide in these forests?

  He looked to both sides of the path, seeing swaths of evergreens and nothing else. Which way would provide the best protection? Every direction looked exactly the same.

  Flipping a coin in his head, he turned to his left and stumbled two hundred meters from the path to a small clearing shrouded by a pile of rocks. "This is as good as anything," he whispered.

  The baby yawned and stretched out her cramped arms just as he dropped his pack. Then she started to cry.

  Tanya blinked awake and grabbed Verushka, soothing her with clucks and whispers.

  "Are you hungry?" Matti pulled a tin of rations out of his pack. "We have crackers and tinned fish." He snapped open the can and handed it to Tanya, who quickly scooped out some fish to feed to the baby.

  He sank down onto the hard ground and ate his own can of fish, fighting to stay awake.

  Tanya eyed him warily and ate slowly, clearly relishing every bite.

  "Tanya," he started in his broken Russian. "It's really important that we stay silent today. We are still in Russia and Finnish patrols go down that road every hour or so. We must stay low to the ground and out of sight."

  Tanya nodded.

  "I need to get some sleep. Can you and Verushka stay quiet?"

  "I'll do my best, sir."

  Matti sank into his parka and curled up. He was asleep in moments but startled awake moments later with the wailing of the baby. He peeked out.

  Tanya was desperately trying to calm her. "Shh shh, Ruski. Shh." Tanya whispered, her eyes wide and frantic.

  Matti scrambled from his sleeping place and joined Tanya. He reached toward them and tried to pat the baby on the back, not sure what to do.