The Last Charm: The most page-turning and emotional summer romance fiction of 2020!

by Ella Allbright

  ‘Oh.’ He jerks his head away from her touch and braces himself to untangle their bodies. He can’t do this. It’s too difficult.

  She sees his intention and leans forward to pin him down with her weight, clamping one arm around the railing of the stairs so he can’t move her. ‘Wait! I don’t want to lose your friendship, that’s true. But I’ve realised something important over the last few days.’

  ‘Which is?’

  Her breath’s warm on his cheek, her expression both tender and scared at the same time. ‘I miss you when you’re gone. You make me feel like no one else does. You’ve always been there for me, even when I was being a pain in the arse. I want more. I want this.’ She kisses him gently. ‘It scares the shit out of me,’ she admits, ‘but I want you, Jake. I’ve made the choice to come to you. I’ve kissed you, just like you asked me to.’

  ‘Finally.’

  ‘Yes. Sorry I took so long.’ Even on such a serious subject, she looks impish, eyes dancing. She looks happy, at ease, but at the same time, surprised to feel that way.

  ‘There’s nothing to be scared of,’ he says in a fierce voice, ‘it’s just me. It’s just us. I know it’s a risk, but you need to trust me, and yourself.’

  She nods, hesitating. ‘I think I can do that. At least, I can try.’

  At her words, his body surges and he makes a muffled sound against her collarbone, planting a kiss on the soft skin there.

  She groans, but looks down at him intently. ‘I’m trusting you not to hurt me. Not to leave me, Jake.’

  ‘Never.’ Seeing her so vulnerable makes him ache for the hole her mum has left in her life, and in her heart. With time, he hopes he can show her that not everyone walks away. Bending his head, he kisses her neck once more.

  She groans again, then suddenly giggles. ‘God, please tell me your mum’s not here!’

  He shouts out a laugh and raises his eyes to meet hers. ‘No, she’s away for the day with a friend. She has those now –’ he nods ‘– partially thanks to you.’

  ‘I’m glad.’ Then her expression changes. ‘So, are you going to make my day, Jake Harding –’ she echoes his own words from the wedding back at him as she runs her hands along his broad shoulders, grinning ‘– and take me to bed?’

  He returns the grin. ‘Try and stop me.’

  ***

  It’s nothing like he imagined, nothing like he planned. Instead of slow and tender, of taking the time to explore each other’s bodies once they’re alone in his room, of working out how to please each other, of him showing her how much she means to him, it’s the opposite. It’s impatient and instinctive, like they’ve been together for years and know exactly what to do. Their clothes get stripped away and thrown to the floor. She pins him against the door, surprisingly rough, her hands on his broad, hairy chest, eyes widening as she sees him naked for the first time. She kisses and touches him like she can’t wait for the next moment. Like she’s been waiting as long as he has and can’t wait any longer. He runs his hands through her gorgeous hair and then wraps it around one fist, pinning her head back so he can kiss her throat then devour her mouth. She moans and grinds herself against him, so he releases her hair, picks her up and throws her on the bed, almost stumbling over his own feet. He’s strong, but she makes him feel weak.

  When he joins her on the mattress, she pulls his body down between her thighs, thrusting her bare breasts towards him. He drops his head to pull her sensitive skin into his mouth. She wraps her arms around his head and her hips pulse against his.

  ‘Jake,’ she says in a strained voice.

  ‘You’re absolutely beautiful.’ He lifts his head to stare into her dark grey eyes. ‘You do know that?’ He curves a hand over her cheekbone and then along her neck and down her body, ending by curling it around her hip to draw her closer. His index finger traces the small burn on her lower back, wondering again what happened to put it there.

  She wriggles slightly to dislodge his hand. ‘I do feel beautiful now.’ Her eyes gleam. ‘And you are too.’

  He shakes his head at her words, but smiles. It’s the only pause, the only slow beat before they’re tangling themselves around each other again, rolling on the bed and kissing, touching, groaning. They can’t get close enough. They’re desperate for each other, and as he drives himself into her and her nails bite into his shoulders, she moans. It’s a sound of passion, of pleasure, and he loses himself in her again.

  ***

  Afterwards, she’s quiet and he’s drowsy. He’s hardly slept over the past few nights and tiredness slams into him. The release of adrenaline and happiness has drained his tension away. Still, he needs to stay awake to be with her. She’s not helping, fluttering her fingers gently over his chest in little patterns as he lies on his side facing her, watching her despite his heavy eyelids. The sheet is around their hips and he loves being naked with her. It feels so right.

  ‘What happened to my doors?’ she says after a while, gesturing to the magnolia walls.

  ‘My father painted over them one day, when he realised how much I liked them.’

  ‘Oh. Sorry,’ she answers in a small voice. ‘And where did you go after the wedding? You didn’t come straight home.’

  ‘Wasn’t safe to drive that day,’ he mumbles, ‘so I found somewhere to pull over and slept a few hours. Then I decided to spend some time driving back slowly through Europe.’

  ‘I knew it.’ She pauses, then, her voice rising, ‘You went back through the mountains?’

  ‘Not without you.’ He opens one eye to squint at her.

  Her pale silky hair is spread in a tangle over her shoulders and slithers down over her body almost to her waist. Her chest is flushed a deep rosy pink and her bottom lip appears bruised. She looks gloriously happy.

  ‘Stop staring at me like that,’ she murmurs, while gazing at his ridged stomach. ‘It’s my turn to look at you.’

  ‘I can’t help it,’ he whispers, ‘you’re so lovely.’

  Leaning forward, she kisses him before drawing back. ‘Is it weird, that this doesn’t feel weird?’

  He huffs out a laugh, drowsiness still trying to drag him down. ‘Not for me. I always knew we’d be good together. It just took you a while to work it out.’

  She snorts. ‘You’re not kidding. To think of all those losers I dated.’ She rolls her eyes, tone playful. ‘And all this time, I could have been in bed with you.’

  He can see what she’s doing, trying to make light of the situation, unsure what happens next, uncertain as to what this means. He goes to tell her, to make it clear what he wants – more of this, a future together – but she grabs his shoulder and rolls him over so he’s lying on his front.

  ‘I caught sight of something earlier—’ Her voice catches as she sees the black ink covering his left shoulder blade and muscular upper back, ‘Oh, Jake. Wow. I didn’t know you had a tattoo.’ Her fingers stroke over his skin, tracing the map of the world laid out in a flat image like the open pages of an old-fashioned geography book, so you can see every country and continent. ‘The calligraphy is amazing. You have stars. I have them in my tattoo as well, on my hand. But mine are outlines instead of filled in. What do yours mean? Wait, are they—’

  ‘Everywhere I’ve ever visited,’ he murmurs, burying his face in the pillow.

  ‘Yes, I recognise some from the postcards. You’ve been to so many places.’ Her index finger touches each star in turn, wonder in her voice.

  ‘I told myself I wanted to see the world, and travelling with the Navy was great, but really I was looking for a home,’ he says drowsily. ‘It took me a long time to realise it was the one I left behind.’

  ‘And you’re definitely here to stay now?’ Her voice quivers as her finger presses on a particular point which he knows is the slightly larger star marking out Bournemouth. ‘You’re doing the PT qualification?’

  ‘Yes …’ His voice drifts off. ‘Yes, definitely.’

  ‘Good.’ She places a kiss on his shoulde
r. He smiles, hardly able to believe it’s Leila doing it. How did he get so lucky?

  Moving to lie down next to him, she snuggles into the warmth of his body. After a few minutes of silent contentment, she whispers, ‘Thank you, by the way.’

  ‘For what?’ His eyes are closed. He’s fighting sleep, half in the land of the living and half in the land of dreams.

  ‘My French flag charm.’

  He senses rather than sees her lift her arm to look at the bracelet. There’s motion and sound as she plays with the charms. ‘S’okay,’ he mumbles, unable to fight any more. He always could sleep anywhere and anytime when he was in the Navy. It was a useful skill when he needed rest, but now it’s about to undo him. As he slides away, he hears himself whisper, ‘But of all the ones I’ve bought you, it’s not my favourite. The sea charm is, with the blue gem in it.’

  ‘What?’

  ‘What?’ His eyes fly open and he sits up, yanked from the beginnings of unconsciousness.

  They stare at each other and he winces. Her normally pale skin is snow white, her grey eyes so dark they’re almost black.

  ‘What do you mean, of all the ones you’ve bought me? And about the sea charm? That’s from Mum.’ Her voice is icy, and a chill runs down Jake’s spine. She pulls the sheet across her body to cover her nakedness.

  What had he said, something about his favourite charm? He struggles to make sense of it. He’s so tired and blurry.

  ‘Jake?’ Standing up, she whips the sheet off him and wraps it around her, leaving him lying there cold. ‘Of all the charms you’ve bought me? You’ve only bought me the book one when you returned Pandora and the rainbow one after I lost the baby. You helped pick out the music charm for my birthday at the Coldplay concert, but you didn’t buy that for me alone. But you mentioned the sea one, with the blue gem.’ Holding up her wrist, she yanks the bracelet around to stare at the charm in question. It’s the first time he’s ever seen her be rough with it. ‘This one arrived like the others,’ she says in a shaking voice, ‘in an envelope with a typed address, or an L on the front.’

  Jake doesn’t know what to do, what to say. He rubs his hands over his face and shakes his head to clear his foggy brain. Shit. Not now, not like this.

  ‘Tell me,’ she demands, her voice trembling, ‘right now. Don’t you dare lie to me.’

  ‘I won’t,’ he says, ‘I wouldn’t. I always meant to tell you, but I was finding the right way, the right time. I did try a few times, when we were younger.’

  ‘Tell me what?’ She shivers, teeth chattering even though it’s summer and the room is warm. From the expression on her face she knows what’s coming.

  He clears his throat and looks her straight in the eye. She deserves that. ‘I bought all of your charms and sent them to you, Leila. Apart from the heart one that came with the bracelet from your mum.’

  ‘None of them were from her?’ She is immobile. ‘She never sent any of those?’

  ‘No. I’m sorry.’ He pushes himself off the bed to go to her, but she stops him with a warning glower.

  ‘All this time, I thought she was thinking of me, that she’d somehow found a way to know what was going on in my life, and the charms were her way of showing me that. Like little messages.’ She says it through dry lips, her voice rising. ‘I thought she loved me. That she hadn’t forgotten me after all.’ Then she unfreezes, lifting her arm again and staring at the bracelet like it’s a foreign object, rather than a part of her. ‘Noooo …’ she wails, before crumpling to the floor. Breaking into loud sobs, she wraps her arms around herself.

  Jake stares, horrified. Leaping off the bed, he tries to scoop her up into his arms, but she erupts in fury. ‘Get off! Don’t fucking touch me!’ she screams. ‘You tricked me! All this time I thought it was her, that she and I were connected.’ She scrambles up, rushing over to her clothes and yanking them on, knickers shoved into her pocket, her top pulled on without a bra. ‘But we weren’t. It was never her.’ Tears roll down her face. ‘It was just you. How could you betray me like that, when you must have known how much it meant to me? What was it, some twisted way of trying to get close to me?’

  ‘What?’ Glancing around, he grabs his boxers and fumbles them on. ‘No! How can you say that? Don’t try and twist something beautiful and well-intended into something ugly.’

  But she looks devastated and he can tell she’s not really listening. ‘I’ve always cared for you, and when I started sending them, I just wanted to make you smile,’ he explains. ‘I could tell how much you liked your bracelet, so I wanted to make you happy by filling it. I wanted to thank you too. For giving me hope and helping me.’ She backs away towards the door and he follows her, knowing he’s losing her. ‘Then as we got older, it meant more, but when you talked about your mum sending the charms and I twigged what was going on, I didn’t want to upset you. I knew it might break your heart. It was too late to say anything. So, I thought it was kinder to—’

  ‘To let me believe she was thinking of me all those years, even if she couldn’t be bothered to come back?’ she sobs. ‘You never should have given me false hope!’ Reaching behind her, she twists the door knob, yanks open the door and flees the room.

  Dumbfounded but giving chase, Jake thunders down the stairs behind her, intent on making her listen to everything he has to say. She has to understand what he did and why.

  She’s thrusting her feet into her shoes and reaching for the front door latch.

  ‘Leila.’ He tries to remain calm, calling on years of training to slow his breathing and heart rate. It’s difficult where she’s concerned – his emotions always get the better of him. ‘Wait. You’ve got to believe me. I just wanted to do a good thing. Besides, isn’t it better to have some hope, rather than none at all?’

  ‘No, Jake, it isn’t.’ Her face screws up, tears coursing down her blotchy cheeks. ‘Not when you haven’t got a fighting chance of your dream ever coming true.’ She flings open the door. ‘Besides, this wasn’t just about helping me, was it? You’ve admitted it was something you did for you, to thank me. And don’t try and deny there wasn’t an ulterior motive, that you didn’t ever imagine a scenario where you told me you’d bought all the charms and I flung myself at you, exclaiming how romantic it was you’d been sending me the charms all this time.’

  Jake winced, and opened his mouth ready to deny it, but couldn’t. He was only human. He’d thought about it, and during all those years at sea away from her he’d been comforted by the thought of her wearing the bracelet, of them being connected. Still … ‘It wasn’t like that, I swear.’

  ‘I don’t want to hear it.’ She barges through the doorway and onto the sunny path. As she turns to face him, the sunlight catches her silvery blonde hair and sets it on fire. As she slips through his fingers, she’s more beautiful than ever.

  ‘Wait.’ He follows her out, uncaring that the neighbourhood can see him in his underwear. ‘I’m sorry, Leila. I never meant to hurt you.’

  ‘It’s Jones to you. Actually, it’s nothing,’ she spits. ‘It’s too late.’ She pauses on an indrawn breath, her eyes furious. ‘Goodbye, Harding.’

  With that, she turns and runs away. Jake watches her go, knowing she’s too full of rage and shock to reason with. Terrified that after the magical hour in bed together, he may never get the chance to hold her again.

  ***

  The days drag. He misses her, but while he knows he might’ve got it wrong, that he should have told her about the charms sooner and not let it go on so long, he also knows it’s too soon to go to her. He also thinks she’s in the wrong as well, and he’s sick of their relationship being so one-sided. He loves her but she needs to grow up. It’s true he upset her and if he could have a do-over and tell her when they were teenagers, he would. Yet she acted like he’s committed murder, or ripped her heart out. But perhaps in her eyes he has. Still, maybe she needs to come to him this time. Jake fears he might be waiting for ever.

  He throws himself into his PT
qualification, spending hours poring over the workbooks and studying the course material, putting together his portfolio and training for the assessment days.

  A week passes and Leila doesn’t make contact. In the second week, while he’s out on a run one morning with his earbuds in, she passes in her car on the way to work. She must know it’s him because her face is turned resolutely away. He sighs, beginning to lose hope. Maybe his pride is getting in the way. Maybe he should go and apologise again.

  But that night he hears something in the front garden. When he rushes to the door, his mum is standing there with a confused look on her face, staring down at a bundle of dark material on their doorstep. Bending over, she picks it up and shakes it out. His navy jumper, one he hasn’t seen since Christmas a year and a half ago, unfurls.

  ‘Yours?’ she asks dryly, raising an eyebrow.

  Since she’s been alone without the shadow of his father standing over them, gone is the meek woman she used to be. In her place is someone who meets your eyes when she talks to you. Standing in front of him is someone who has rediscovered life. Whatever happens between him and Leila, he’ll always be grateful for the gift she gave his mum. One he could never manage. Freedom. Jake sometimes wonders where his father is and what he’s doing, but he doesn’t think he’ll come back and that’s enough for him.

  ‘Yeah, it’s mine.’ Taking the jumper from her, the scent of strawberries floats up, and he smiles. He should probably be worried Leila’s returned it, as if she’s cutting ties. But instead he focuses on the fact she kept it for eighteen months, even though she denied having it last summer. He also muses over the fact she could have taken all his charms off the bracelet and returned them too, but hasn’t. At least, not yet. He frowns. ‘What do I do, Mum?’ He’s told her about them sleeping together, about his stupidity and the argument. How badly Leila reacted.

  Closing the door, she motions with her chin toward the kitchen. He trails after her as she walks down the hallway. When she gets there, she opens the fridge and takes out two long-necked bottles of beer. After twisting both caps off, she hands one to him. ‘Well, first you have a drink.’