Third Time Is a Charm

by Ed Nelson

Start out nice but be certain you know who the players are. I handed him one of mine to force the issue. It really was an accident that he was able to see my shoulder holster when I pulled my card case out.

  “Young man is that a gun I see?”

  “Yes, a thirty-eight special, the load is a little light for my taste, but that is what the Marshal’s service issues.”

  “Marshal’s service?”

  This gave me the perfect opportunity to show him my U.S. Marshal’s badge and I.D. This was a blatant attempt to get this person off balance. I don’t think he is my friend.

  “Well I will have to ask the Department about this, students are not allowed on school property armed.”

  He has never been to a small town on the first day of hunting season.

  “Well this is studio property so I’m not in violation of any rules. The studio has armed people all over.”

  I wasn’t going to tell him most of them were props.

  “Now what did you want to see me about.”

  “I’m new to this job and I have been reviewing student records. There is no way you could be progressing this fast. I’m afraid of irregularities occurring.”

  “What type of irregularities?”

  “That you are being credited for work that you haven’t learned.”

  “So you are accusing Miss Sperry and me of cheating?”

  “I didn’t say that.”

  “Then what do you mean?”

  He was getting a little red in the face. I didn’t help when I went to the phone and called the front office and asked to be connected to the legal department.

  “This is Rick Jackson. I think I need some legal representation on a studio matter, could you have someone come over to the schoolhouse?”

  It took ten minutes and I had three attorneys, it must have been a slow day in legal. The studio lead attorney asked what is going on. I explained to them what I had heard and Miss Sperry confirmed.

  “Well Dr. Dixon, Peter Dixon, do I have that right?”

  “Yes,” he replied reluctantly.

  “What are these irregularities you are referring to?”

  You ever have that sinking feeling when you know you are in over your head. That was the look on Dr. Dixon’s face.

  “I just don’t see how he could have learned this much this quickly.”

  Miss Sperry is sharp. I found how sharp she really is.

  “Rick you have passed all the exams once. Are you ready to take two of them today?”

  Talk about a quick right turn.

  “Yes, I am.”

  “Dr. Dixon if Rick takes the exams right now and passes them will that satisfy you?”

  “He doesn’t have enough time, it is now two o’clock and each test is three hours. That would put it until eight tonight with no breaks to take two of them, then he would have to finish up tomorrow.”

  “I can do that.”

  “Well I quit work at five, so it can’t be done.”

  What a loser!

  “Fine I will do each exam in an hour and a half with little or no break in between.”

  “You can’t do that, if you fail trying to do them fast you will lose the whole year.”

  “I thought it is impossible for me to do anyway?”

  “Err, yes I suppose if you want to risk all you should have the chance.”

  Miss Sperry made a point of handing the unopened packages with the exams back to Dr. Dixon.

  “Please open them and proctor the exam, that way we can be certain there will be no question of irregularities. Oh, and can we have one of the studio attorneys stay to ensure all goes well?”

  Boy, she knows how to stick a knife in. As normal the junior attorney was given the boring duty of watching me take a test. For me I wasn’t real concerned. I could have taken these exams months ago and passed them. I had been reviewing the material ever since.

  Not that I was trying to show off, but I completed both exams about four thirty and had a fifteen minute break in between. Dr. Dixon graded the geometry while I was taking the English exam. It took him almost as long to grade the English exam as it did for me to take it.

  It was five thirty by the time he was finished. At least he was honest in his grading. He showed me what answers I had wrong on both tests. I agreed that I missed them. I still had an A on each of them. At that point he said with poor grace, “I misunderstood that you were working with a genius.”

  Rather than point out that my I.Q. had been tested at 118, a far cry from genius I let it go. Miss Sperry didn’t, she let him know my I.Q. and my work ethic. If regular students were allowed to work this way using my study ahead and read everything there would be no need for half the teachers in the system.

  She really took that irregularity accusation personally. I think Dr. Dixon was glad to get out of there with a whole skin. Miss Sperry asked me if I wanted to come in tomorrow morning and finish my other exams, so I could be done with tenth grade. That sounded like a plan to me. We agreed upon eight o’clock.

  We woke the junior attorney up from his nap and headed out.

  At dinner I updated my parents on my afternoon. Dad laughed and told me that I could be in more danger from government bureaucrats than the KGB if I kept it up.

  As I had thought, Mum didn’t see any humor in the situation.

  Eddie let us know he was ready for his first camping trip this weekend. Dad had taken him to an outdoors store and bought him a backpack, tent and other gear he would need.

  Then it was Denny’s turn. He had been working at Sam Nielsen’s photography studio in Dad’s office building doing vanity pictures. He was making good money. The neat thing is that it was bringing in business above and beyond his customers.

  Sam was picking up all sorts of family and wedding work from contacts made through Denny’s portraits. I asked him if the term ‘portraits’ wasn’t a little highbrow for his work. He didn’t take it well. He fled the table.

  At least I thought he fled the table. Mum was just about to give me an earful when he returned with an album.

  I had to eat crow. My little brother was taking portraits that were as good as any I have ever seen. He has a knack for making everyone look good by highlighting their best features. I’m not a professional at this, but this work was so good it couldn’t be ignored.

  Mary was very quiet during all of this. She looked dejected. I asked her why she looked sad.

  “Oh, I’m practicing for my next audition. It is for a little girl who didn’t get the doll she was hoping for her birthday. I have to look excited when opening my gift then sadly disappointed when it isn’t the doll.”

  “So you are okay?”

  “Yes I am!”

  As she said that her face lit up and her arms which had been at her side were up and waving.

  “Rick, this is me being excited, am I doing okay?”

  Mum muttered, “She has been doing this all day.”

  “You’re doing great Mary. You should keep showing Mum, so she can track your progress.”

  Mum slapped me up the back of the head.

  “You and that Harmon boy will be the death of me!”

  Mum had met his father Tom Harmon at a charity event and the young Mark tagged along. He liked to joke around and caused mild grief when he appeared anywhere. If he wasn’t only eight years old I would like to pal around with him.

  When he and Eddie were together they were always in trouble. This ranged from bubble bath in a fountain to frogs in the girls dressing room at a charity beauty pageant.

  I heard a sob, turned and there was Mary with large tears running down her cheeks. She spoiled it by yelling, “Yes I knew I could do it!”

  I told Mum I was sorry for everything.

  Chapter 46

  The next morning after breakfast I drove over to the studio to take the rest of my finals. Miss Sperry had it all set up. It was much more casual than yesterday. I started my first exam and finished it in an hour, but took another fifteen minutes to
go over everything.

  It was my history exam and I was pretty certain I had a one hundred percent on it. Every one of the multiple choice answers jumped out at me. None of them were in doubt.

  Next was Biology II. Again I did well, but it wasn’t a given like History.

  While I was taking that exam the phone rang and Miss Sperry spent a long time on the call.

  My last exam was Spanish. It felt like cheating to take it, but I wasn’t a glutton for actual punishment so it was nice to have one course that would go easy.

  Actually Mandarin would have been a better choice, but it wasn’t available.

  When I finished my last exam Miss Sperry informed me I had passed the first two. History was one hundred percent as I thought. Biology was a respectable ninety six percent. She graded my Spanish exam while I waited.

  It was ninety seven percent. Considering how fast I had taken the exam that was okay. I falsely thought I had just passed the tenth grade for a second time.

  “Rick, that phone call I had earlier was from the California Department of Education. They feel that even though you passed those exams yesterday that you should demonstrate a firm understanding of the tenth grade before allowing you to take eleventh and twelfth together.

  “What are they asking for?”

  “They want you to appear in front of a panel for oral exams.”

  “I thought that only happened at the graduate level in college.”

  “You are correct. I am going to talk to our management about this. They are trying to discredit our entire program.”

  “Why is that?”

  “The straight answer is we are non-union. Union teachers feel threatened by the success of our programs.”

  “That’s not right, and there is the fact that you really haven’t been teaching me anything. I get my required work from you, turn it in then take the exams.”

  “I know Rick. I would be really upset if they asked for oral exams from one of our regular students. They are just like most other students, doing enough to get by. You on the other hand are going beyond all expectations.”

  “I would like to ask you to keep an open mind on appearing in front of them.”

  “Everything will be okay if they stick to the text book and the first level of recommended reading. I have read all of it. It’s if they go to the recommended reading found in the recommended reading books then I’m in trouble. I only had the time and interest for a few of them.

  “That’s why we would insist that I and our lawyers be present to make certain they don’t go beyond the course curriculum. For the average student they would stick to the text books.”

  “I want to talk to my parents about this. I’m not certain that a high school diploma is worth all this.”

  “But Rick, how will you expect to earn a living…Oh silly me, you really don’t have to put up with this do you?”

  “No I don’t. I will let you know tomorrow. In the meantime let your management know what is going on.”

  To say I was upset was putting it mildly. I took a long walk around the backlot to cool down. After I quit using bad language internally which would have gotten my mouth washed out with soap I went to the commissary for lunch.

  By the way Mum did wash my mouth out with soap when I was ten years old. Never again!

  I had an appointment with my voice coach right after lunch. It was fun. Listening to a playback using my British accent didn’t sound like me. Maybe that is why I could stand it.

  For fun I did ‘Rock and Roll Cowboy’ using it. Now that was just plain weird. A British accent and Rock and Roll just didn’t work. I pity any Englishmen who tried to make it in America.

  Before dinner I had a serious conversation with Mum and Dad about the requirement to face oral exams. They were not pleased. Dad would be talking to our attorney’s in the morning.

  After dinner I practiced loading and shooting on the run using a paper cartridge. It worked like a charm. I could easily load it while running, then stopping, shake a little powder into the priming pan and then close the frizzen, then fire at the target. I had given up on loading powder in the priming pan while running besides it was only seconds, if they were that close I was done for anyway.

  My accuracy was getting even better as the stress of loading on the run was removed. My stress went right back up when security came running around the corner. I had forgotten to call them.

  After going Mea Culpa many times they let me off the hook, but pleaded that I remembered to call them in the future. I told them I would, but that I really had the process under control. Heck, a stand in might be doing it all in the movie. I was doing this for my own pleasure.

  When I went back into the house I found Mum and Dad in front of the TV. I asked if we could talk. Dad got up and turned the TV off.

  “What do the regular teachers have against me?”

  Mum answered, “Probably nothing Rick.”

  “Then is it the teachers unions?”

  “Rick no one is out to get you, as an individual. It looks like you are an individual caught in a power struggle between two systems.”

  “What systems?”

  “It appears to be the public sector represented by the teachers, teachers union, and school boards and the private sector represented by the private schools such as the studio schools.”

  “Why are they fighting about what power and again why me?”

  “You are an innocent bystander caught in the middle. They are out to limit or eliminate the other group. You just happen to be a battle that the public sector thinks they can win, and in doing so limit the private sector.”

  “That doesn’t seem fair.”

  “The systems don’t care about fair, they care about process. You are not an individual to them, just a data point to be argued.”

  “I thought teachers were good.”

  “They are, over ninety nine percent of them don’t even know you exist and almost none of them wish you ill.”

  “Then why are they allowing this.”

  “They aren’t, the union is forcing the issue.”

  “Then is the union out to get me?”

  “Not as an individual, the union as an abstract group wants you to fail so they can use this as proof that the private system doesn’t work. At the same time the private system wants you to succeed to prove that their system works. Neither side cares about you as an individual.”

  “I think I understand about the private side, wasn’t it some Supreme Court Justice said, Corporations have no soul? That implies the individuals within the corporation only work for the good of the corporation and their position within it.”

  “And what makes you think that the teachers union is any different?”

  “Well they are working for the teachers, not themselves.”

  “It is absolutely correct that when a union is first formed they work for the forming group. However, when any group gets above a certain size the individuals within the group start working for their own benefit. Larger groups work for the good of the group. They become disconnected from their original mission. Very few are like the Salvation Army which has remained true to its mission.”

  “That is how a large union can sacrifice one of its member groups for the good of the whole, and more importantly its own good.”

  “So unions are bad when they get too big.”

  “Not bad, who are we to say their objectives are not good? They are fighting for better pay and conditions for the individuals they represent. Unions are earned by poor management, no one wants to pay dues to fend off good management.”

  Remember the union workers are like you, and the teachers, as individuals most are good people, their interest just don’t coincide with yours. Certainly there is always a bad apple or two, but they are found within all parts of society, that is called the human condition.”

  “This is very confusing. The teachers and their union are fighting the private sector for students, why should they care?”


  “Follow the money; that is the reason corporations exist, to make money so their side is easy to understand. Teachers are human, so they want good pay and benefits. They as individuals can’t get it from the schoolboards, so they form unions.”

  “Though they haven’t started this particular battle the corporation will use your success to demonstrate they can teach more at a lower cost.”

  “But as I told Miss Sperry she really hasn’t taught me anything. She has just provided the material and tracked my progress.”

  “That’s not what the outside world will see. They see a Rick that attended the studio school and exceeded expectations at a lower cost.”

  “So the private and public sectors are fighting over a slice of the pie and if the private sector wins the pie will be smaller, why wouldn’t the school boards be all for this.”

  “Maybe because the schoolboard as an organization has grown large, and it is looking out for its own best interests rather than the publics. If the private sector wins this argument why have a large school board with all of its employees?”

  “Well if the school board isn’t looking out for the public’s interests why aren’t they voted out?”

  “Who says that they aren’t looking out for the public that voted them in? People who have children want good schools and are willing to pay for them. People without children and seniors whose children are grown and moved away, ask themselves why pay for a system that doesn’t benefit them?”

  “Then there is the majority that doesn’t pay attention and doesn’t even bother to vote.”

  “So if I understand it correctly, no one is out to get me as an individual. The teachers, unions and the school board are in a struggle with the private sector for the good of each group. That the group’s members will benefit if their group wins.”

  “From this I shouldn’t be angry at individuals but decide what my best interests are as a group of one, and that as a group of one my power is very limited.”

  “Welcome to the real world Rick, however you have money and money can buy some power which in this case is representation in the legal system. Without money you would have no hope. With money, you hire lawyers who will fight for the best outcome for you.”