Making Her Mark

by Renée Dahlia

  ‘Right, so you used my brother for a quick fuck to clear your mind, or something?’

  Rachel squirmed in her chair, the seatbelt rubbing against her neck. ‘Kind of. Look, it was after the races on Saturday. You know, I won the big race of the day, and there was all this emotion, and I don’t know … Is this weird?’

  ‘A little bit. No, check that. A lot. It’s a lot weird.’

  ‘I don’t know what to say. I’m not really sorry, he’s amazing. I didn’t mean to go there, it just … happened.’ Rachel pulled the seatbelt away from her neck and tucked her shirt between the belt and her skin.

  ‘You aren’t sorry.’ Allira’s eyebrows must be damn-near touching her hairline with the amount of astonishment and wtf in her voice.

  ‘No. We are both adults. We both consented. I know it’s not ideal from your perspective. It’s not really ideal from mine either.’

  ‘And what is THAT supposed to mean?’

  Rachel swallowed, ‘Um, I don’t think it’s great timing. Jacob is a great bloke, I really like him—’

  ‘Enough to fuck him, but not enough to be his girlfriend.’

  ‘Settle down. It’s early days, that’s all. We are still working it out.’ Rachel waited for Allira to reply, and Rachel realised she was grinding her teeth as the silence stretched out.

  ‘Okay.’ Allira drew out the word as though she didn’t believe a word Rachel said. ‘Well, I’m going to the movies with Shreya tonight, so I won’t be home. I don’t want to see either of you hurt.’

  ‘We are both adults, Allira. It was just a bit of fun, nothing important.’

  ‘I hope he sees it the same way.’

  Rachel sucked in a sharp breath, ‘If it helps, I can ring him and check?’ Her whole body tensed, uncertain about how her friend and housemate would react to her flippant attitude towards a much loved older brother. She gritted her teeth, as if her ringing Jacob would solve anything, except reiterate the same old no-relationship argument. Even she was bored with that line, and damn, the wonderful orgasm last night went a heck of a long way towards convincing herself he was worth breaking her own rules.

  ‘It’s fine … I’ll call him. See you in the morning for breakfast.’ Allira hung up, leaving Rachel with the sense she was about to be hauled in front of the principal for not wearing her uniform properly. Again. This was why she should have said no to Jacob. Sleeping with someone she liked was always too fucking complicated. She needed to stick to her guns and assign this one time to her past. With perfect timing, an ancient eighties power ballad came on the radio and she sang out her frustrations. By the end her voice hurt, and she realised she’d hadn’t brought up the discussion about high school. Jacob didn’t seem to think she should bother. Was he right? Or was she simply avoiding responsibility again? And wasn’t that the whole fucking problem with her life? Not brave enough to tell Tranquil Waters about herself—and when they found out and confirmed their hatred of her, she’d run to the city. Not brave enough to be alone—have sex with the most available hot body. She blinked away the hot burn of tears forming behind her eyes. Was her whole life a front as she tried to convince herself she was a lot tougher than reality? Or was Serena right? At least she knew what she wanted from life and went after it. A glance at her map told her she still had only knocked off a quarter of the drive. Still three hours to go—alone with her thoughts. She asked her phone to call Shannon, to arrange coming out to the farm to ride Tsuyoi Red this week. His gruffness and refusal to talk about anything except horses would distract her and keep her focused on work.

  The increase in traffic volume would have told her she was getting near the outskirts of Melbourne, even without her car’s map system showing less than an hour to go. She’d exhausted all the phone calls she needed to make and had listened to a fascinating podcast produced by IndigenousX.

  ‘Car, call Jacob.’ She should probably update him on what Matthew had said about Driscoll, and Allira’s response to their one-night stand.

  ‘Hi. How was your day?’ he asked as the phone call connected.

  ‘Good. No winners, but several placegetters, and one unlucky ride on a nice three-year-old. He has quite a clever name—Sampi’s Mark.’

  ‘Ok?’

  ‘His dam is Eagle Leap.’

  ‘Oh, that’s clever. I remember that one, was it 2004?’

  Rachel shook her head, ‘No idea, but I thought you’d appreciate it. Anyway, he ran fifth after getting bowled at the start. He’ll be one to watch next time out.’

  ‘Are you at home?’

  ‘No, still driving back from Bairnsdale.’

  ‘Bairnsdale, is that out by Lake’s Entrance? That’s a fair hike for one day.’ Jacob sounded incredulous.

  ‘Yeah, four hours each way. It’s a long way to go not to get a winner.’

  ‘Sounds like it. Have you eaten yet?’

  Rachel rolled her eyes. To answer yes would be a lie, and no might prompt him to bug her about eating. When would people realise that her diet was perfectly adequate for her job? ‘Yeah.’

  ‘Oh. I was going to ask if you wanted to go out and grab something.’

  ‘It’s already after eight at night, aren’t you starving already?’

  He laughed, a low chuckle reverberating through her car’s speaker system. ‘I’ve already eaten, and I figured you wouldn’t want much, but maybe a dessert or something? Surely, you can eat ice cream.’

  ‘Like a Ken Browne diet?’ She held her breath, waiting for him to sound confused.

  ‘A what?’

  Rachel grinned, she loved this crazy old story. ‘He was an old jumps trainer from the country in New Zealand. Deadset legend. He used to tell jockeys to lose weight by eating ice cream and working hard. Everyone called it a Ken Browne sandwich.’

  ‘Is that a long way of saying yes to venturing out in public with me?’ His rich baritone rumbled with self-deprecating humour.

  ‘I might.’

  ‘Good. It’s the next official step in our relationship.’

  ‘You are ridiculous.’ She scoffed at the way he treated a relationship like little boxes to tick off.

  ‘So you are. Besides, it’s too late to protest about this now.’

  She grinned, ‘You mean, since I fucked you once, I have lost my right to argue against us being an item.’

  ‘Yes, now I have all the power over you … No. Now who is being ridiculous?’

  ‘Umm, excuse me?’

  ‘I’m kidding. Hell. I simply thought that you might want to hang out a bit.’

  ‘With you?’ She teased him.

  ‘What? I’m good enough to fuck, but not good enough to be seen with.’ The lightness in his tone kept her from freaking out at the undertone of reality in his words. She’d been tempted to invite him over, now that Allira was going out with her workmate to see a movie, except now she really had to fix this.

  ‘I reckon you are definitely both. Shall I meet you somewhere?’

  ‘There are some amazing little bars in Brunswick. Isn’t that near your place?’

  ‘Near enough. I can be there in less than an hour.’ She always wore a nice outfit before and after the races, even for the country tracks, because she wanted trainers and owners to see her as a city class professional rider, and today she had a silk blouse with a cute floral pattern and a black pinstripe pencil skirt with black ankle boots. A small heel to add a little height, but low enough to drive in.

  ‘How about I text you a location, and we can meet there.’

  ‘Sounds like a plan.’ She nodded to herself. This way she could have a quick outing with him, and then go home alone. To her empty, cold bed. She sighed, what a miserable thought when Jacob obviously wanted to help her warm it up.

  ‘See ya.’ Jacob hung up, and Rachel tried to run through all the reasons why she was resisting him.

  Chapter 13

  Jacob sat inside the tiny late night gelato and pastry café in Brunswick, listening to a bunch of families speaking loudl
y, presumably in Italian given the Italian name of the shop and the wild gesturing going on. He loved how anywhere you went in Melbourne, you’d hear a whole bunch of different languages and see faces from all over the world. He tapped his foot on the ground, his good leg, as he tried not to check his phone for the time again. Not the injured knee, although the follow up scans he’d had this afternoon showed less damage than they’d originally thought now that the bruising had come down a bit. The team doctor and physios were both happy with the progress, and they both mentioned that he’d be perfectly fit before pre-season training started, provided he didn’t do anything stupid between now and then. He’d shrugged, since when had he ever done silly things in the off-season. His phone buzzed with a message.

  The Palace: What are your plans for the week?

  Jacob: Nothing so far. Might go home to the farm for a bit.

  The Palace: The farm?

  Jacob: My parents have a small farm near Tranquil Waters.

  The Palace: Where’s that?

  Jacob: About 3 hrs drive. Near Echuca.

  The Palace: Want some company? I need a distraction.

  Jacob: Are you inviting yourself to my parent’s place?

  The Palace: Sure. If that works for them.

  Jacob: They’ll put you to work. There is always something that needs doing around a farm.

  The Palace: Perfect. Give me something to do. I hate this sitting around.

  Jacob: I’ll pick you up tomorrow.

  The Palace: Lunchtime?

  Jacob: Why? You planning to sleep in?

  The Palace: Nothing else to do.

  Jacob scoffed at his friend. He really needed a hobby, or something else to do during the off-season. A scraping noise made him look up from the phone. Rachel pulled out a chair, the legs dragging on the tiled floor. She slid onto the chair in a graceful movement, the athletic motion drawing his gaze over her neat attire and gorgeous body, and she returned the look with one filled with promises. Promises of just where she’d like to touch him, her gaze on his throat seemed to make his pulse speed up with anticipation of her tongue pressing against his neck. Finally her eyes rose to meet his, sparkling brown highlighted with green eyeshadow reminding him of the spring growth at his parent’s small holding farm.

  ‘Great choice by the way, I love this place.’ Her voice had a little croak in it, as though she was getting sick. He peered closer at her face, noticing the little lines at the corner of her mouth and the shadows under her eyes.

  ‘Are you getting sick? You look tired.’

  She grinned, ‘Just what everyone wants to hear when they go on a date. I’m fine. It’s been a big weekend.’

  ‘Sure has.’ One he wouldn’t be forgetting in a hurry. A sudden urge to gather her up, and sink himself into her, had him shifting in his seat. This was more than lust, a deep need to be one with her, to fuse himself with her. He gripped his thighs, his fingers digging into his muscles as he tried to stay in his chair, when all he wanted to do was pick her up, slam her against a wall, and have her wrap those slim legs around his hips.

  ‘Worth it though. I won my second Group One, and I might have a Cox Plate ride.’ Her work wasn’t at all what he meant.

  ‘I’m guessing that’s a good thing.’

  ‘A good thing. It’s freaking amazing.’ Her smile lit up her whole face, her cheeks glowing, her eyes flashing with heat and excitement, and he couldn’t resist reaching out to touch her cheek, sending a buzz through his finger and up his arm, answering the question about whether they’d got it out of their system last night. He absolutely wanted more. He wanted all of her, much more than she seemed willing to give, and with a desperation from low inside himself. More than a couple of months of fun, this connection sang with promises of forever. He held her gaze, her eyes all shiny and excited, and dropped his hand back to the table as he forced himself to focus on her words, which is how he noticed something unusual in her phrasing.

  ‘So amazing you can’t even swear about it?’ he asked, grinning at the way her mouth quirked up at the side.

  ‘Fuck yeah. Come on, you have to be living under a rock to not know anything about the spring carnival. The big three races are the Caulfield Cup, Cox Plate, and Melbourne Cup. Even the least horsey person in this city knows that.’

  He scoffed, ‘Says the horse person. I think you underestimate how much the rest of the world knows about it.’

  ‘Seriously? The Cox Plate is legendary. The battle between Bonecrusher and Waverley Star, the sensational victory of Winx breaking her own track record to equal Kingston Town’s treble, and then grabbing an unprecedented fourth win last year, or the time Northerly and Sunline took out Viscount in their epic tussle for supremacy. I adored Sunline, I had posters of her all over my bedroom wall. I was eight when she won her first Horse of the Year title, and I absolutely bawled when she died.’

  ‘She died?’ He adored the way her passion shone from her whole being as she spoke with awe about past champions.

  ‘It was so sad, she’d only been retired for a few years, and got laminitis.’

  ‘What’s that?’

  ‘It’s a horrible hoof, foot, disease, really hard to fix. I think she only had four foals, poor girl.’ Rachel swiped her hand across her eye and shook her hand. ‘Sorry, she was the first champion I fell in love with. I was lucky enough to see her at Moonee Valley a couple of times, when I was a kid.’

  ‘You really love horses, don’t you?’ He’d cried when his dog, Budja, died, ironically poisoned by a platypus, the animal Budja hadd been named after. He completely understood shedding tears for a much loved animal.

  ‘I do. Being a jockey is more than a job, it’s a life.’ She ran her hand over her ponytail, ‘I really hope Shelley keeps me on Darnation for the Cox Plate. I’d love to have my name on the list of winning riders,’ she said as a waiter approached their table. ‘Oh, hi, Lorenzo, how’s things?’ She knew him? He frowned. She’d mentioned this café was a great choice, but not that she knew the waiter. A twinge of jealously stirred in his stomach at their familiarity.

  ‘Things are great, Rachel. You want your usual?’

  ‘Not tonight, just a small chocolate gelato.’

  ‘And you, sir?’ The waiter asked.

  ‘Oh, hey, Lorenzo, this is Jacob. He plays for Norths. I’m flatting with his sister at the moment. Jacob, this is my cousin, Lorenzo. This is his shop.’ Her dismissal of their relationship made him clench his jaw. Now wasn’t the time to correct her, he could save that up for later when she wasn’t introducing her cousin. At least he could push away his silly envy, replacing it with a nicer understanding of why she liked his choice of café.

  ‘Hi Lorenzo, nice to meet you.’

  ‘And you too. Welcome to Gelato Amore,’ Lorenzo said, slipping into an almost Italian accent for the name of his shop, slightly jarring against the strong Aussie of the rest of his words.

  ‘How’s Steve? I haven’t seen you guys in ages,’ Rachel said.

  ‘He’s good. And Lisa?’

  Rachel’s shoulders sagged, ‘Ahh, we broke up. It’s been a bit hectic. Spring carnival and all that.’

  ‘Nothing like a bit of gelato to cure crepacuore.’

  Rachel straightened up at Lorenzo’s use of Italian, squaring her shoulders, ‘Non tutte le ciambelle riescono col buco.’

  Lorenzo laughed, ‘Love is not a donut without holes. Perhaps it wasn’t meant to be and this one is an improvement.’ He waved his hands in Jacob’s direction.

  ‘Lorenzo. He’s right there, you can’t say that,’ Rachel chided her cousin, a faint blush washing over her cheeks. Her cousin simply waggled his eyebrows in a what are you going to do about it look.

  ‘Oh, it’s like that is it? You two must come over for dinner. Steve would love to see you.’

  ‘Maybe after the spring carnival.’

  ‘Why wait?’

  ‘Lorenzo, you know why. Because you always ply me with more food and wine than is good for me, and I ha
ve to ride light at the moment.’

  Lorenzo scoffed, ‘There is no such thing as this. Wine is good for your heart. It will cure you.’ His comment made Jacob smirk.

  ‘My heart doesn’t need fixing.’ Rachel lifted her chin.

  ‘Are you telling me Lisa didn’t mean anything to you?’

  ‘Not nothing, jeez, Lorenzo, just grab the gelato or something?’ Rachel brushed off her cousin.

  ‘Sir, what would you like to order? A side dish of cold tears for our heartbreaker here?’

  ‘Lorenzo.’ Rachel’s admonishment made Jacob glance at her cousin, whose grin almost split his face.

  ‘I’ll have what she’s having.’

  ‘Chocolate. An aphrodisiac for the lovely couple.’

  ‘Lorenzo. Damn it, how about next Monday night?’

  Her cousin winked at him, still grinning, ‘Tomorrow?’

  ‘No. I have to go to the farm tomorrow to see a horse. Next week. I know you guys are shut on Mondays.’

  ‘Bring this one.’ Lorenzo commanded before walking off to the back of the shop.

  ‘I didn’t know you spoke Italian,’ Jacob said. After that interaction with her cousin, it seemed the easiest place to start, besides he wanted to know what Rachel had said.

  ‘A little.’ Rachel made a gesture with her thumb and forefinger. ‘My mama’s family are Italian. Nonno and Nonna came out after the war and set up a little shop in Tranquil Waters. Lorenzo’s father is Mama’s much older brother. Nonna had Mama later in life, and died when Mama was young, so I never met her, but you’d remember Nonno’s shop? The hardware place.’

  ‘That was your grandfather’s place? I remember going there to get supplies for my Dad. The owner was tiny—’

  She grinned, waving her hand down her body, ‘Just like me. My brothers took after Dad’s side of the family, they’re all over six foot. Me and Serena are small like Mama’s family.’

  ‘And speaking Italian.’

  ‘Nah, only a few catch phrases really. Nonno loved using that one, it basically means sometimes life doesn’t work out how you thought it might.’

  ‘And am I?’ Jacob asked.

  ‘Are you what?’