“So...I’m not...busy...or anything.” I played with my fingers from the slight nervousness.
“Oh, that’s nice to know.”
Come on.
I groaned. “Really-”
“Say it to me like you want it.” He said.
So he did know, he just wanted me to say it his way. This is what I can’t deal with. It’s not like he ever asks me...nicely. After all this time, I’m not into all the vulgar speaking, and I thought Sirus would get that but apparently not, especially with the way he was waiting for me to say something.
The worst part about this is that I know exactly what I want from him. If he does anything else, it just won’t even help. I know I have to say it for him so I’m hoping he does it the way I want it.
“I want you to...” Even after all these years, I still turn red at the sound of everything I say. “...fuck me against the wall and...”
“And?”
Sirus was just waiting for this. He has no idea what I was imagining right now. This will be the only time this year that I want to get my hair pulled or my skin bruised, or to feel so good that I get lightheaded and black out for a moment.
I wasn’t going to say it.
I might as well grab him and take him somewhere so I can make him do what I need him to do.
Before I could put my hands on him, I heard loud yelling behind me. “Aurora!” Hariette was coming closer, and she was not in the mood to mess around with me.
She really does scare me sometimes. My hairs stand on ends when she yells my name like that. If anything, she might even be the only person I’m afraid of on occasion.
Sirus, however, was not.
“This is gonna have to wait, Hariette, we’re busy-”
“Do you want to go on probation again, Sirus?” She asked. And it’s not really a threat because Sirus doesn’t care. “Janus really hates you, and I heard all you really need to go through is one more probation before you’re terminated. Not suspended, but actually fired-”
“Alright, alright.” Sirus gave up when she kept pointing it out to him.. “Damn, why are you like this?” He muttered as he walked by her.
“Why are you like that?” She snapped back.
Then she looked right at me. If I don’t start telling her what’s going on, she’s just going to yell and wait till I do tell her. And I want her to know it’s not terribly serious but in reality it is. She just put herself on the line for a little while for me so she’s entitled to an explanation.
“I might’ve happened to have gotten involved with the rebellion...by using my tablet that no longer has a direct link to the system and resetting other devices to help with the deactivation problem.” I explained slowly as I looked around, avoiding her stare.
“So when you asked, that was real?” She was shocked.
“It wasn’t a big deal then, but I found the source of the problem and it’s getting worse.” I told her.
“What is it?”
I was hesitant. “...Janus...” I said quietly.
Her eyes widened when I said his name. “Oh my-”
“Please, Hariette, you can’t say anything or Janus will really arrest me.” I begged her to keep quiet about the situation because I needed her to.
I already have a lot of charges on me if I were to get convicted; treason, obstruction of justice, going against the system itself. That doesn’t include the minor things; having access to things I can’t have access, illegally trespassing, using resources that aren’t of use to society, rebellion.
I could be in jail for decades if I get caught.
Too many people already know.
Hariette didn’t say anything, staring blankly through me as she thought of something. I wasn’t sure if I was free to leave, or if she was going to continue to ask for more explanations.
Next thing I know she was focused on me again. She narrowed her eyes as she watched me closely; I thought there was something on my face so I touched my cheeks but I didn’t feel anything.
“You’re blushing.” She said.
“O-oh.” And here I thought it was actually something serious.
She started to laugh, a smug smile on her lips as she put her hand on her hip and shifted her weight to one foot.
“Caught you two flirting, didn’t I?”
“N-no!” I was quick to answer and I rushed to cover my mouth too. My outburst was not over looked.
“What were you two-”
“Nothing. It was nothing.” I said quickly, wanting her to let it go. But she continued to smile as she watched me panic.
I’m not going to explicitly tell her what I was about to say. If she knew some of the stuff I said with Sirus she’d definitely look at me in a different light.
“There’s nothing wrong with sex, Aurora.” She said and it ticked me off. My eyes widened and she laughed again, getting the reaction she wanted. “I’m just messing around, don’t mind me.” She laughed some more as she turned away.
I don’t normally get squirmish when someone casually mentions anything sexual. Now, when someone mentions sex with Sirus, I would rather keep that as private as possible. No one is supposed to know about that. And that was in some vision of mine that no one knew or even had a clue. Hariette seemed to know, other people seemed to know.
I had a lot of questions honestly. Not about the basic things but...
I ran after Hariette and walked beside her, trying to figure out a way to say what I wanted to say.
“I had a question, and it might be...awkward...” I said slowly.
“It’s only awkward if you make it awkward.” She said. I rolled my eyes. “What would you like to know about the sex life?-”
“Never said it was sex.”
“You barely ever ask me questions and based on how you’re still blushing, I took a wild guess on something that embarrasses you.” She glanced down at me. “Am I wrong?”
She’s not.
I pursed my lips as I began to play with my hands.
She started off her explanation. “Here’s the thing-”
“You don’t even know what I’m about to ask.” I pointed out.
“Yes I do.” She said and stopped walking. “So here’s the thing,” she started again, “control freaks have this thing about being controlled in bed, I’ll never understand it.” She rolled her eyes. “You pretend to be all shy and whatnot because you know what you want.”
“You’re way off.” I told her.
“You’re blushing.”
“Because we’re talking about something I don’t like talking about.” I pointed out. I can’t help it that my face sometimes turns red!
“Try something different.” she said as a solution.
That left me completely clueless. “Like what?”
“Whatever interests you.” She shrugged and turned away to go into her room.
What the hell am I supposed to do with that? What interests me? I’m not interested in anything that is...touchy. How am I supposed to figure this out?
I walked away, trying to not bother myself with the assumption that I know what I’m doing. If something interests me, I’ll know when it interests me. Until then, I’m not doing anything.
I walked back to where I was, only to find Sirus there waiting for me again. We are not continuing what we were doing, I’m no longer in the mood. Hopefully it shows on my face because I want him to know.
“Don’t touch me.” I warned him before he could speak.
“Whatever. I found your woman you were looking for.” He said, just about to hand me his tablet to show me.
When I was about to take it, he drew away from me, slightly out of reach, enough for me to be shocked that he would trick me.
“I need something in return.” He said.
“Me being with you is something in return. Me staying with you every night is something in return. Me taking my clothes off for you is something in return.” I listed for him and tried again to reach for his tablet but he moved aga
in.
“You busy right now?-”
“Sirus, I swear on my life if you don’t fucking hand me that tablet-”
I didn’t even get a chance to finish my threat before he started smiling. I wanted to hit him. I would’ve loved to. The smile on his face made me stop but I was still angry.
He let me snatch his device from him, and he laughed while I turned away bitterly to go through what he found.
I know exactly where Magnolia works now.
“A ‘thank you’ would suffice just nicely.”
“That’s a big word, sure you know what it means?”
“Your new feisty attitude is hot.” He was about to pinch my cheek but I grabbed his wrist to stop him. “Sure you want to try and stop me, baby?”
I rolled my eyes. It was only a matter of time. Sirus can be predictable on occasion. So I know what comes next. After five years of this, I know the routine.
He would pull me closer to him, like he just did, moving his arm around me. It didn’t bother me now, there weren’t enough people around to get me worried. And they weren’t watching us. He would have a few disrespectful words to say to me. It just depends on what kind of mood he’s in today.
Considering he thinks I owe him, things could turn out to be a little wilder than it needs to me.
“You had a few choice words for me not too long ago.” He said in my ear, not even trying to be discreet.
I didn’t care.
“Any chance you want to finish what you started?”
“As lovely as that sounds-” it wasn’t that lovely, “-I would prefer to go find a friend to stay with.” I said and shoved him away from me which surprisingly worked. “Unless you’re willing to ask nicely.” I gave him the option.
“Nicely is not how we do things.” He said.
“We?”
“Here’s what’s going to happen, Aurora.” He said as he took his tablet out of my hand. “We’re going to find an empty place where you’ll hope to God no one will hear you, I will blow your fucking mind, and then you can go to whatever friend you want to be with.”
It wasn’t up for debate.
Here I was already hoping that the place we stumble into is good enough that no one will hear anything. When Sirus makes promises like this, things turn out a little wilder than what I had hoped. Now I have to be careful because I know what happens. I know what I get like.
Dammit. I was already blushing.
So there was my answer.
He held his hand out, and I wasn’t that hesitant to take it so he could lead me on the search for the place we would end up violating for a good hour or so. Now it’s not so surprising when I give in to whatever he says.
Not that he makes a compelling argument, but the dynamic makes me say yes.
I guess Hariette was right.
What else is there that I’m interested in?
Chapter 10
Outside is always filled with people walking around. Even in the smaller towns, everyone is outside during the day. Living in the city though, it just means hundreds and thousands people are out at once, doing what they need to for the day. With the area so heavily populated, I had to guess that there are some people who have been targeted after rebelling, and I want to see how many there are.
If there’s too many then I won’t be able to help. It would only mean I would have to get more people involved and I don’t want to do that. If there aren’t that much or if it’s manageable with what I have and who I have now, then I can do something.
“Damn, I’m so bored.” Sirus groaned as he slouched in his seat, leaning his head back.
I wasn’t going to pay attention to him when he complains. And that was a lot. Apparently, telling him we can’t do anything today took the fun out of what I needed him to do.
It’s not like scoping the area is supposed to be fun anyway.
He wore the programmed contacts, and had black sunglasses on right over them. The tint made it a little difficult to see the blue glow but that wasn’t the issue. The sunglasses made it hard to see who was linked and who needed help. With the effort Sirus had to put in, he was starting to think this was work.
“You have an hour left.” I told him. I would hope that he was paying attention so his eyes aren’t damaged by the contacts.
However, an hour seemed too long.
He groaned again. If he doesn’t stop, he will attract unnecessary attention and that’s not what we need. He didn’t say anything else to me, all he did was push his plate of food towards me.
“You need to stop that.” I said quickly.
“What?”
“Stop feeding me, okay. I don’t want your food.” I said, yet I was pulling his plate towards me. This is the last time.
It’s been like this all morning. And for some odd reason, we ended up at a restaurant as if I hadn’t had enough to eat already. I was hungry anyway and apparently Sirus wasn’t.
“Considering how you don’t eat when you’re extremely focused, I’d say you do.” Sirus mentioned and looked around. “If I’m not there to make it for you, you’ll forget.” He said.
“I have no idea why but I’m always hungry.” I sighed.
Sirus looked my way slowly. It took only a second for me to get what he was thinking. If those sunglasses weren’t hiding his eyes, I would get that glance even quicker. He started to smile to and that was a dead give away to what he was thinking.
“Stop.” I told him before he could say anything vulgar.
He just bit his lip, moving his hand under the table. And I know exactly where his hand went.
“Sirus, stop.” I warned him.
“Relax, I’m just messing around.” He smiled.
No he’s not.
“And besides, we have plenty of time later for me to feed you.”
I dropped my fork and gave up. He just had to go and say it. Why am I not surprised? He laughed when he saw that I really didn’t want to tolerate his behavior today.
“I’m kidding.”
“No, you’re not.”
“You’re right, I’m not. But you still need to relax. That’s why you’re so stressed all the fucking time.”
And he doesn’t help with that.
All my stress right now is coming from one situation. I need to get my life under control so I can solve this problem but for some reason I get worse when the problem does. I need to find a different way to manage my stress because all this isn’t working.
Maybe I’ll worry about it after I finish eating.
“There’s ten more.” Sirus said as he looked at a group of people walking by across the street.
“Ten?”
In one group? That’s too much. They must all be friends or related and they all must support the rebellion too.
“A few behind them have already been reset.” Sirus said.
So that just means this group of ten is looking for someone to help. Fortunately for us, Orion and Lunar decided to use their day off to help out.
“I just hope they don’t attract attention.” I said quietly as I pressed my fork down into the barely touched rigatoni.
“What’s really attracting attention is wearing a turtleneck in March.” Sirus commented.
I looked down and stared at myself. I actually like my turtleneck. It’s not even hot either so a turtleneck is perfect. And considering how I’m always cold, I can wear whatever I want to keep myself warm. What’s his problem?
“You know, wearing your uniform isn’t that smart.” I pointed out to him. Wearing all black doesn’t help either, plus the sun is out and he’s just going to get hot.
“I don’t have any weapons on me-”
“That’s not the point.” I cut him off. “That gold badge just says that there might be an investigation going on, and you’re obviously spying on people in the open.”
“You know what, I’m still on the clock so I’m not doing anything.” Sirus looked around again, planning to ignore me. But I was stuck on the fact that
he was actually supposed to work today.
“Are you kidding me?” I kicked his leg under the table so he would look at me. “You have tracking devices all over you but you decided it was okay to spend time with me out in the open looking for people who are part of the rebellion.” I hissed.
“Janus doesn’t watch me,”
“He’ll start once he knows you’re with me.”
“I have this entire area surrounded so I’d know if Janus decided to come check on me.” Sirus said.
That’s even worse.
“That’s an abuse of power.”
“Protecting your ass is an abuse of power?” He didn’t seem to believe that it was.
“I don’t need you to-”
“I wasn’t asking you how you felt about it, Aurora.” He stopped me. “I already had an issue with getting involved with this mess but I didn’t stop you hard enough.” He said. “I’ll be damned if something happens to you and no one is around to take the lead.”
“It’s not a hard problem to fix.”
“Did you fix it yet?”
“Well I’m getting there-”
“That’s what I thought.” Sirus really loves doing this to me doesn’t he? Just silencing me so I can’t say anything about what I think.
I get where he’s coming from but I don’t need him to protect me. If Janus has someone hurt me, then it happens, whatever. But Sirus doesn’t need to use his title and the fact that he has a small army behind him to have me protected. That’s wasting resources and I don’t want him to get in trouble for it.
“You know, all you have to do is say you care about me and I’ll understand.” I said, hoping to poke the obvious nerve.
I’d guess that Sirus just rolled his eyes.
“Why do I have to say everything for you to understand?” He asked.
“Because you’ll come off as controlling and obsessive if you don’t.”
He scoffed and shook his head, ignoring me again. Sirus swears he isn’t controlling but that’s all he is. And it’s just as bad as me. We both want to have the power and that’s what makes it so hard to agree sometimes. I remember our first year together, it was just constant fighting about how things were going to go. He can deny it all he wants but we both know it’s true.
Insurrection on New Planet Page 14