“If I can say all that gross stuff for you, I think you can mention how you feel about me once in a while.” I said casually, looking down at the plate.
“I do care about you, but it’s to the point where I catch you doing stupid shit and I want to cuff you to the fucking door so you can’t go off and do more stupid shit.” He had no problem getting that off his chest.
“Sorry I like helping people.” I was sarcastic.
“Now you’re making me look like an asshole.”
“You do that yourself.” I covered my mouth to keep from laughing too loud. He looked my way again, and I bet he had enough to deal with.
I make Sirus angry all the time. Nothing’s changed. He gets so frustrated by me that he has to find a place to take out his anger on. I have to admit that I have done a lot of stupid stuff lately, to the point where I am a criminal. Still, nothing has changed. I’ve been hacking and destroying things from the inside for a good portion of my life. Not that I went looking for the problem but I always look for a decent challenge.
“Okay, I’m sorry.” I couldn’t hide my smile. “I know you’re just as stressed as I am so I won’t say anything.” I was being sincere this time.
Sirus only looked away without responding. He probably won’t talk to me for five minutes or so which is enough time for him to gather data for me.
I didn’t mean to piss him off so early on in the day. Honestly, I was messing around with him too but he got mad. That happens for him so easily. I can’t say it’s cute to his face but his slight temper for small situations is funny. When it’s the bigger stuff, it’s no longer funny.
“There’s eight more.” Sirus said.
“Why are they in groups?” I murmured to myself quietly. If their deactivation is happening in clumps then it makes sense. I’d think Janus would be more careful but he has the power to do what he wants.
And no one else knows why this is happening to them. No one knows why they can’t go to someone to get it officially fixed. Instead they have to keep quiet about getting it fixed illegally.
“What are we going to do if this doesn’t get solved?”
“We?”
“Yes, Aurora, we. As in everyone helping you.” He snapped. “I’m trying to understand why you think you go through everything alone.” He got more aggravated.
I know I don’t. Do I come off like that?
I stopped eating for a moment to think. If this problem doesn’t get solved, then it doesn’t get solved. And there’s nothing I can do about it.
“We’ll fix it.” I said after thinking for a little bit.
The part that worries Sirus is that it won’t be easy to fix the situation. I already figured that it won’t be easy two weeks into the situation. I’m still trying to find an answer to all this but I can’t yet.
“You know, you can tell me if you’re worried about me.” I said, wondering what he would do about that. He looked towards me but didn’t say anything; I couldn’t hide the smile on my face as I ate.
“Why do I have to tell you everything?” He finally asked again, more irritated than the first time.
“Don’t you want me to know?”
“I don’t get worried.”
I continued to smile, picking up my fork and putting more food in my mouth slowly as I watched him. I already know I bother him. It’s fun to do it. He straightened in his seat and lifted his glasses up so I could see the bright blue glow in his eyes.
“You know, I can see absolutely everything about you.” He said.
“You’re not supposed to.”
“Your password isn’t hard to figure out.” He said. My smile faded. “I think you need to calm down and get it together.”
“You care?”
He narrowed his eyes. “This again? It hasn’t even been ten minutes, Aurora.”
“Tell me.” I smiled again as I ate.
“You’d throw it in my face.” He said and sat back in his seat. “So no, I have nothing to say.” He crossed his arms. “By the way, I never bitch this much about you saying anything to me.” he wanted to point that out to see if that would make me back off.
It didn’t.
“Sirus, whenever I say something meaningful, you have a habit of rolling your eyes and walking off like it’s no big deal.” I said.
He had that look like I should try him. It’s going to be a waste of an attempt. Sirus might have gotten over a lot of his issues with telling me things, but he retains his habits. He doesn’t like talking about himself. He doesn’t like hearing me talk about him even in a positive manner. Anything that might make him feel some type of way is not good to him. So he might’ve given me the look like he could probably hold in whatever he was going to do that let’s me know that he doesn’t want to hear what I have to say but he will do it.
“I don’t bother you with anything because unlike you, I don’t have to worry. You know how to handle yourself, no matter how violent it turns out to be.” I shrugged. “Plus you know I care. I trust you, don’t I?”
He put the glasses on so I couldn’t see him roll his eyes.
“I knew it!” I knew he couldn’t handle it.
“The sun is bothering me.” He looked away and began to fight whatever outburst that was about to come out of his mouth.
Sirus needs a little shove in the right direction, but I wasn’t going to push him yet. I’ve gotten enough from him. He’s trying and I guess that’s all I needed. We’re both trying. We might not be successful all the time but at least we’re doing something about it.
“Well I’m going to go. Clearly I maxed out on the attention I can get from you.” I said and got up from my seat.
Sirus was going to ignore me no matter what. He doesn’t like when I take things too far. If I ask him another question, he’s only going to curse me out.
As I walked by, his hand latched on to my arm to stop me. He didn’t move from his seat, he wasn’t even looking up at me. His glasses hid his glance, whatever glance he would have. I wasn’t sure what he wanted or if he wanted something. I would feel bad leaving without consoling him.
My arm lifted so I could move my hand into his. For a second, he didn’t move. My fingers intertwined with his, feeling the warmth of his skin.
It’s not everyday this happens.
But I like it.
After a few seconds he turned and looked at our hands. Then he looked up towards me, his brows furrowed.
“The fuck are you doing?” He asked.
“Goodbye, Sirus.” I snatched my hand away. “I hope we never see each other again.” I turned and left so I could go to work.
I had things to do. I might as well not pursue whatever subject this was about to turn to.
I needed to get to work.
There are more important things to worry about.
I was busy working on a project that I had to have finished in two weeks. It’s more of an independent thing, but because I’ve been rebellious for a while, I was using NASA’s resources. I do work here after all, so there can’t be any harm done.
Today, it’s taken me hours to get this working.
I think I was on my sixth hour.
Altair was sitting in the only chair in the room. Since I’ve been standing for six hours, I was hoping to sit down but he hasn’t gotten up ever since he got here.
I tried to focus on the project instead of the pain in my legs.
“What the hell are you doing?” He asked me finally because he was dying to know.
“It’s a gift for someone.” I said as I did some fine tuning on the program.
“Looks intense.” He didn’t care.
Altair was always the nonchalant one, the one that always looks like he doesn’t care. Most of the time he doesn’t, but deep down he does on occasion. For him to care, it has to be truly amazing.
He is the absolute epitome when it comes to the phrase “mind my own business”. That’s all he does. When people say it, they mean it for a second before going to
find out dirt on someone. I’m not even as committed as Altair is. When I say I’m minding my own business, I’m already involved in whatever I wasn’t supposed to care about.
“You’re a little early for your assignment scheduling.”
A little was an understatement.
“I have intel.” He said.
Of course. They all do.
“Canada and Latin America aren’t affected as bad, however Libra and Haroldo still are trying to deal with the problem.” He told me. “Other Defense Heads from different countries are trying to talk with Janus about the situation but all he says is that he has no idea what’s happening.”
“I’m not surprised.” I said bleakly.
“They’re calling him incompetent.” He added.
“Considering he’s the cause of the problem, of course he wouldn’t want to fix it.” I said and put on black gloves.
I was still focused on this program. On the white table was two black bands. It looks like nothing more than plain pieces of material that someone would put around their wrist and arm. However, there was more to it than just that.
What I have to work on now was getting the program to run like I’ve been trying to do for three hours.
I turned on the gloves and lifted my hands so a hologram of the entire hard drive would come up.
“You’re a real nerd, Aurora.” Altair said.
“This is what I’m good at.”
For a good portion of my life, I’ve been engineering all kinds of things. To learn all about this was hell, being forced to understand concepts as complex as these holograms itself in a year or less was probably the worst time of my life, but it was definitely worth it considering how I know how to do a lot of things.
Hacking the Computer, and the finely tuned system for society wasn’t taught to Coordinators. I somehow figured it out myself. All my knowledge doesn’t come from one source.
“Is there a reason why you took apart a name brand device?” He asked, referring to the mess of debris on the floor.
“I reverse engineered the latest product that ended up completely being useless to the Department of Defense.” I rolled my eyes.
“And how could you possibly do that?”
“My mom is one of the engineers for the new stuff with the brand. So let’s just say I have access to everything if I want it.” I shrugged.
My family is all about science, and it doesn’t matter what field it’s in. We’re the type to believe we could use it anywhere.
So to have a mechanical and aerospace engineer for a mother and an environmental chemist for a father really gave me a head start. It has its perks as well, considering I get to hear about all the new things that’s supposed to happen.
The new product isn’t meant for the general public. In fact, this brand that’s mostly common among normal civilians has been asked to help the Department of Defense. The new product is for sector leaders, more for tracking and communication, stuff like that and things no one cares about because everything they have now works fine. So that’s where I come in.
I only planned to work on one, but then I thought why not start from scratch? So I did. It’s not like I’m going to market these anyway. Society won’t gain much from it. The one I’m working on would have access to a lot more than just the basics. And if I do this right, I can probably configure identity settings on there as well as different modes for the contacts that I’m also working on to reprogram.
It sounds like a lot.
It’s been three days and I’ve failed multiple times so I start over from where the problem starts. I still have fourteen days.
“Is there something bothering you, Altair?” I asked because he was still here after watching me do something that really doesn’t interest in. “You aren’t one to stick around when bored.”
I actually was a little concerned.
He’s not the only one to stay around with me recently.
“It’s weird being on both sides now.” He said. “I don’t know, I guess I didn’t think of myself as one to be persuaded easily.” He was confused.
“I’m sorry if what I’m doing puts you in a position that makes you uncomfortable.” I was serious when I apologized. “If you were to stop everything now, I wouldn’t try to hold you back.”
“You’re misunderstanding.” He said.
I turned around to look at him because now I was confused. Like usual, he had that nonchalant look on his face.
“I would choose your side in a heart beat even if you were set on world domination.” He admitted.
“That’s problematic.”
“You know what you’re doing.”
“Which is illegal.”
He only shrugged like it didn’t matter when it did.
I’m starting to believe this blind loyalty may be what will get me in serious trouble later on. I know it’s good to have people on my side but I would never want to drag anyone into doing crimes for me. I know I’m trying to help, and everyone wants to help me, but there are laws about what’s happening. And what we’re doing is against those laws.
“It’s great that you’re concerned for us, Aurora, but we’re old enough to make our own decisions.” Altair said, snapping me out of my thought process.
If I go down, everyone goes down with me. I don’t like that.
I waved my hand so the hologram would turn off, the green light fading in the room.
“The thing that people don’t get is that I am responsible for all of you once you get involved. Not only do I have to think of ways to protect myself, but I have to find ways that ensure you don’t get caught as well.” I explained to him. “And I know you’re well capable of watching over yourselves but I physically can’t just not worry about any of you.”
No one seems to understand that. What kind of person would I look like if I only tried to make sure I didn’t get caught and not anyone else? It’s not kind on my part. It would be a waste of time if I lost everyone that was supposed to be helping so I’m going to do my best to make sure that doesn’t happen.
“Understood.” Altair said.
Now we’re on the same page.
I turned around and waved my hands again for the hologram to lift in the air.
“Is there a reason why you won’t come back?-”
That question was definitely bound to happen and already I wanted to put an end to it while I still had the chance.
“Alya didn’t tell you?” I asked.
“She did but I would prefer to hear it from you.” He said.
“Its not a lie, if that’s what you’re thinking.” I said plainly. “It started happening after a year of being here.” I said.
Talking about it seems to help a little, but not enough to make a significant difference. My stats are alarmingly high, higher than its ever been. No one has ever broken the psych test, but my mental state will do it.
“After trying to deal with it for another year, I realized I had to resign or I wouldn’t get better.” I explained.
“So how about now?”
“It’s so much worse than when I was Commander.” I said and put my hands down. “It feels like I’m drowning every day.” I admitted.
It’s a nightmare I’m having trouble getting away from.
“I know it won’t make you feel better, but the first night we got to this planet, I didn’t want to leave.” He said.
Most of the Flyers didn’t want to leave. In fact, a good portion of the Coordinators and regular civilians didn’t want to leave and come down to Earth.
“I told myself that it wasn’t going to be a big deal, you know, like I step on grass and I won’t explode or nothing.” He continued. “But I get here, and I see everything we were told about and I’ve never felt so overwhelmed in my entire life. I was fucking gone, I couldn’t stay cause it just wasn’t something I was used to. But after a while, I knew that I might as well get down here because this was where the world was.” He said. “It took a while, but I got used to
it, you know, I dealt with it and any of that weird fears I had since I really had some weird fears.”
“Please tell me you didn’t believe that rumor about the sun burning people to death.” I sighed.
“That was the rumor that made me stay inside for the week everything was being built.” He laughed. “But my point is that, it takes time.”
“Gosh, Altair, I would have never thought you were the type to give advice.” I turned to look at him, amazed with his skills to empathize with others.
“Considering how you ain’t special, I knew what to say. We all have problems, Aurora.” He said.
Of course we do.
“Plus, I would prefer if you got your act together so you could be Commander again, cause this shit bites.” He looked away and moved his hand in his hair, pulling at the thick black curls.
He’s gone back to nonchalant again.
“I never planned on coming back even if I got better.”
“Yeah, you thought.” He said dryly as he continued to pull curls in his hair.
None of them will respect my decision but I sort of figured that. I guess it’s nice to have people devoted to wanting me as their leader even though I am incredibly unfit to do so.
Altair finally got out of my seat.
“I’m still waiting for my assignments.” He said as he began to walk out.
“Yours is nine-twelve. I’ll be down in half an hour to give you the rest.” I said.
I really did need to finish this device. Fourteen days really isn’t a lot of time. I thought I would be okay but the hologram shattered which meant the system fried. Again. I sighed quietly to myself and picked up the small band on the table. I just have to start over from where the problem begins.
I had enough time to reboot the program and go down to give Altair his assignments before Hariette wanted to speak to me. For some reason, I haven’t seen her for a few days now, and its gotten me slightly worried since the last time I saw her, I got her pissed off at me.
Plus she gave me awkward advice so I think a little distance may have been good. She stared at me for a long moment, and in my mind I thought that she thought something was off about me. I stared right back at her because I had no idea why she needed to talk to me. There was a smile that crept on her face but she turned away before getting to the point of it all.
Insurrection on New Planet Page 15