Hawke

by Trent, Emily Jane

  He hadn’t woken up sweating and hoped he hadn’t thrashed around in bed. If he had, then Emilia would surely have shaken him awake. The disturbances didn’t come every night, so he was fortunate that no alarming dreams had gripped him since Emilia had stayed over.

  Hawke was relaxed, feeling calmer than he had in a while. Emilia was good for him and had brightened his evening with her inner light. She was special, more than she took credit for. She was sexy, loving, and so much more. The fact was that he adored her.

  Emotion welled within his heart. He was on a high and felt that only good could result from being with her. For the moment, he allowed that delusion, as he didn’t want to ruin the mood. It was rare for him to feel that way about a woman.

  Hawke hadn’t been in love before, not really. He’d had some enjoyable relationships but didn’t know what true love felt like. He wondered if the desire bordering on pain he felt would qualify. Could he love someone so much that it hurt?

  Yet he dared not let that thought linger. The future was uncertain; even how she’d feel in the morning was unknown. Hawke took a few more minutes to cherish the new feelings and admire the woman he desired like no other.

  Emilia was in a peaceful repose with the pillow stuffed under her head. The blanket had fallen away, revealing her nakedness. It partially covered her, yet he could see the creamy mounds of her breasts gently rise and fall with her steady breathing.

  Hawke’s fingers twitched, as he wanted to touch her. He gazed at the curve of her hip under the blanket, wanting her, and his body responded. Visions of the previous night flashed through his mind, further igniting the fire within him.

  Emilia stirred then stretched. She opened her eyes and looked into his. Hawke moved closer and brushed her hair back, then caressed her soft cheek. She snuggled closer, warm and intimate. Hawke put his arm around her to hold her against him.

  Breathing deeply, Hawke buried his face in her hair. Then Emilia draped her arm over his shoulder, and her fingers drifted down his spine. The light touch spiked sensation in his body, and his blood heated. She pressed her hand to his low back momentarily, then cupped his ass in her hand.

  When Emilia squeezed, it caused him to groan. She was too much; he wouldn’t be able to resist her. Hawke raked his hands over her soft curves and pressed into a deep kiss. She tasted like all woman, and the feel of her body drove him crazy.

  Hawke gently cupped her breasts, relishing the silky skin and flicking his thumbs over her stiffened nipples. Emilia whimpered softly then slid farther down his body. She threw back the covers and gazed at his hard cock, which made him even harder.

  She put her palms on his abdomen to lean over and kiss his hot member—but she didn’t stop there. She licked up then back down, before rolling his balls in one hand. She put her mouth over his erection, then sucked the tip lightly, before raking her tongue under the rim.

  Hawke groaned louder. “I’m going out of my mind, honey.”

  Without pause, Emilia continued to suck and lick until Hawke nearly exploded. It felt so good—too good. “Come up here.” He pulled her to him for a kiss, and she straddled him, putting pressure on his arousal. He reached behind to cup her softly rounded ass.

  Emilia kissed him, dipping her tongue into his mouth. Hawke fondled her breasts, then leaned away to grab a condom. She moved back so he could roll it on, then fisted his rock-hard cock. Panting, Hawke held her by the hips.

  “I can’t hold off.” Hawke moaned from deep in his throat. “I need you.”

  Emilia lifted up, so he slid inside her. The glassy look in her eyes told him she was close. “I…can’t wait…either.” Her soft panting grew louder as she moved over him, then her strong inner muscles clamped down.

  Hawke gasped, and control escaped him. Emilia cried out at her peak, and he let go. His release was hard, taking his breath away. She collapsed over him with her head on his shoulder, and he wrapped her in his arms. He leaned up to kiss her temple, surprised he had the strength to do so.

  “Good morning,” he whispered.

  Emilia looked into his eyes. “Good morning.”

  After a few minutes of recovery, Hawke guided her to the shower for what promised to be another sensual interlude. When the water was hot, he got in with her and took joy in allowing her to wash him. Emilia soaped him up, running her hands over his body.

  She seemed to find sensitive spots that he didn’t know he had, and even a few ticklish ones. Hawke laughed and tickled her back. Getting clean happened along the way, while they talked and played like kids. She made him happy and was a delight to be with.

  Hawke washed Emilia’s long hair, then he slicked her up with body wash and took liberties as he could. Feeling her curvaceous form was very nice, and he felt that he knew her more intimately than any other. She leaned into his touches, and he kissed her tenderly.

  Drying her with a fluffy towel was pleasurable. He wrapped her up, then dried himself. Emilia reached for the hair dryer. “I have nothing to wear. Unless you want me all dressed up in my outfit from yesterday.”

  “We’ll handle that later,” Hawke said. “I’ll find something for you to put on.” He dressed in jeans and a cotton shirt, then brought a shirt for her.

  Emilia smiled. “I’ll be lost in that thing, but I hope it smells like you.” She put on the dress shirt, and the tails hung to her knees. He helped her roll up the sleeves.

  “It’s just temporary. It will get you through breakfast.” Hawke kissed her, then took her hand. “I’m starved. How about you?”

  It seemed so natural to spend the weekend together, something he could get used to. “I have plenty of eggs,” he said.

  “I’ll cook.” Emilia looked adorable hunting through the refrigerator in the oversized shirt.

  “Great, give me a minute. I need to let Ryker know he’s on his own this weekend, in case any emergencies come up.” Hawke sent the text then returned to the kitchen.

  Emilia was busy at the stove. She’d found the eggs, butter, and bread, so was whipping up breakfast for them. Hawke put on some coffee and got out the cream. Saturday morning didn’t usually feel like this, so domestic.

  It reminded Hawke of what was missing in his life. To have a woman he cared for would make all the difference. She would fill his days with love and brighten his life. For a brief moment, he embraced the possibility.

  Hawke had fallen for her hard. Emilia was desirable in every way. But she wasn’t his, and he hadn’t seen his way past his own issues. Yet the truth was that his place would be awfully empty without her. He wasn’t prepared to think of that yet. He had the weekend with her, so he’d make the most of it.

  The eggs were fluffy and delicious, the toast crispy. Hawke wolfed down a few bites. “You know how to cook.”

  Emilia giggled. “I can make breakfast.” She sipped her coffee and spread jam on her toast. “I’m hungrier than I usually am.” When she looked over, her eyes sparkled.

  “What would you like to do today?” Hawke said.

  “Together?”

  “Yes, together. I’m not letting you get away that easily.”

  Emilia’s grin warmed him to his very soul. “I’d like that. Maybe we could go to the waterfront, take a walk, even window-shop.”

  “I can’t think of anything I’d rather do.”

  “You really know how to flatter a girl.”

  Hawke held her hand. “Go get dressed in that green-skirt power suit, and we’ll go by your place so you can change.”

  “Good plan.”

  Hawke was glad she hadn’t balked. Things were moving rather fast. It was all fine with him, though, as he’d be able to spend the day with her—and maybe the weekend, if he played his cards right.

  By the time Emilia reemerged dressed for success, he had the dishes done and the kitchen cleaned up. She looked fresh and stylish but left her hair loose this time. Hawke pulled her close for a hug. “Ready?”

  “Mmm, always.”

  That made Hawke smile.
“I’m going to hold you to it.”

  The fall day was brisk but not too cold. Hawke turned on the Jeep’s heater to take the chill off. “It’s early, but I think it will warm up enough for us to be outdoors.”

  Hawke drove to her condo then waited for her to change. She came back dressed more warmly. “Layers,” she said. “That way I can shed clothes as the day warms up.”

  Once in the Jeep, he headed for the other side of the city to the Schuylkill River. The boardwalk was a long pathway known as the river trail. It was populated by pedestrians, runners, and cyclists. He’d been there at night, also. It had some of the best skyline views in the area.

  The wide path was built over the river, with several scenic outlooks. Hawke held Emilia’s hand and strolled the route. It was good to be out, breathe in the fresh air, and enjoy the views. It was especially good to do so with Emilia.

  When they tired of the leisurely activity, Hawke found a coffee shop where they could take a break. It had a front patio, giving it a Parisian flair. The place was known for draft lattes, the latest and greatest thing. He’d seen customers lined up for the frothy, barely sweet beverages, even when the temperature outside was freezing. The drink was served with no ice, pulled straight from a tap.

  “I could get addicted to these,” Emilia said.

  “I prefer espresso, but I have to admit it’s unique.” Hawke got pleasure from watching her sip the specialty drink. He thought how different the day was from a normal Saturday. Often, he’d work, or go for a run then lift some weights.

  Leisure activities weren’t his thing, although they were growing on him. His idea of hanging out was to go with a couple of buddies for beer at a pub. His life had been simple and seemed fairly drab next to spending time with Emilia.

  For once, he was part of a couple, if only for a day. Dating hadn’t involved such things for him. He’d taken the women out in the evening, of course. But hadn’t spent a day together with anyone. That was reserved for Emilia, because he liked her company.

  He pondered that friendship was a strong basis for a relationship. At least he knew he liked the woman before getting serious. There was something to be said for that. He marveled that it had escaped him before. Maybe if he’d stuck around instead of joining the service, he wouldn’t have waited so long.

  But now that he’d held her in his arms and kissed her sweet lips—plus much more—he wasn’t so quick to dismiss the idea of a serious relationship. He certainly hadn’t planned to take her to bed, but things had gotten out of control. Yet they’d been as intimate as two people could be, and he was hooked.

  Going back to casual dating wouldn’t work, not anymore. His heart was spoken for. But he hadn’t changed overnight; basically, he was still the same tormented guy. And he swore that he wouldn’t allow Emilia’s light to be dimmed by his darkness.

  When Emilia finished her drink, they moved on. The afternoon stretched ahead invitingly. Hawke talked and laughed with her, even window-shopped, as she’d suggested. That was something he hadn’t done before, but watching her admire things in various shops pleased him.

  She stopped at a jewelry store appropriately called Platinum and Ice. Her eyes lit up over a necklace on a velvet display in the window. “Try it on,” Hawke said.

  “Should I?” But Emilia was already walking toward the door.

  Once inside, the clerk was delighted to show it to her. A white diamond glimmered at the center of swirling loops in an elegant necklace. The pendant hung from a long silver chain. Emilia looked in the mirror and fingered the glittering diamond.

  Then Emilia started to remove the necklace, but Hawke put his hand over hers. “We’ll take it,” he said to the clerk.

  Emilia appeared speechless, but when the clerk left to wrap it up, she said, “What are you doing?”

  “I’m buying you a birthday gift.”

  “But it’s not my birthday.”

  Hawke grinned. “It was…many times while I was away. I missed so many birthdays and holidays, too many to count. Let me buy the necklace for you. I’ll be honored for you to wear it.”

  Emilia hugged him. “It’s too much, you know. It really is.”

  “Not nearly enough.” And Hawke meant it. He frequently saw Emilia in her lab clothes or dressed for business. He wanted to get her something nice, and the necklace suited her.

  By the late afternoon, Emilia was ready for cocktails, so they went to a nearby bar. “I’ve been here a few times before. I think you’ll like it.”

  There was plenty of room inside, so they chose a table at the back. Emilia sat across from him, and the diamond sparkled around her neck. She ordered a fancy drink made with tequila and cucumber. Hawke had a gin and tonic.

  He couldn’t recall when he’d had a better day. In his career, he’d fought to protect his country, preserved the safety of those he cared about. Yet he’d rarely kicked back to just enjoy the city, and he didn’t think he would have, if not for Emilia.

  It was all very romantic: strolling the city, buying a gift. And happy hour promised to be just as enjoyable. Only something bothered Hawke. He was conflicted, and his uncertainties nagged at him. He wanted Emilia in his life, but not for a day or two. He wanted her permanently.

  Yet how was that going to work?

  Before he broached the subject, Emilia brought it up. She stirred her drink with the plastic straw, then grew serious. “We can’t pretend that we’re just friends.”

  “I can’t go back, not anymore.”

  Emilia looked at him, doubt in her eyes. “I don’t want you to feel trapped. I know that you’re trying to protect me, comfort me.”

  “I’d say what we did went way beyond that.”

  “What I mean is…” Emilia glanced down. “I’m in danger, which has brought you closer. But I fear…if it weren’t for that…”

  Hawke took her hand. “I can’t believe you’d think that after last night. You must know how I feel about you.”

  “How do you feel?”

  Putting such emotion into words wasn’t easy. Hawke looked into her lovely brown eyes.

  “I know how I feel,” Emilia said. “You’re the most desirable man I know. And I think I showed how much I want you.”

  “I have no regrets about this weekend. I care for you,” Hawke said, struggling for the right words. “I just don’t…”

  Emilia squeezed his hand, and her eyes were moist. “I believe you. I’m sure you have cared about me for a long time.” She swallowed. “It just doesn’t mean that you have to make a commitment to me.”

  Hawke was in agony. He wanted nothing more than to do that, but Emilia would be getting the bad end of that deal. He wanted to say something, anything at all to help her understand. Damn his ineptness at such discussions. He’d had little experience at talks like this, so his social skills needed a lot of work.

  He could show his feelings in a physical way. And hadn’t he done that? Didn’t she know how he felt by how he’d acted? Yet he supposed that women liked to hear it. He couldn’t blame Emilia for that.

  Hawke nearly blurted out a vow of love and commitment. He wanted to with his heart and soul, but Emilia’s future came first. He wasn’t convinced that he was the right man for her, so he couldn’t let his own selfish desires rule.

  The rest of the evening, Emilia behaved normally, much to her credit. It broke his heart. Not only wasn’t she going to demand anything from him, she didn’t hold it against him that he hadn’t come through with any promises.

  That evening, Hawke desired her even more than the night before. And Emilia responded to him with passion that left him weak. He made love to her, and she loved him back. He was insatiable when it came to Emilia.

  Hawke was committed; his heart was hers. Yet he couldn’t tell her that. He wanted her to have the option to move on—although he couldn’t imagine living without her. All night, he held her in his arms, dreading the moment when she’d have to go.

  But it wouldn’t be right away. Emilia’s s
afety was his first priority, so he invited her to stay with him until the danger was handled. She didn’t fight him on it and agreed to stay, saying that she didn’t want to be alone at her condo.

  That was enough for Hawke. On Sunday morning, he drove her home to pack a larger suitcase so she could move in with him, temporarily. As he lugged the suitcase to the trunk for her, Hawke felt a streak of possessiveness.

  Emilia was his love. Pity anyone who messed with her. He’d protect her with his life. Yet he still wasn’t sure it was wise for her to hook up with him on any long-term basis. But figuring that out was beyond him right then. The weekend getaway was about to end, and the bad guys hadn’t disappeared.

  Hawke had to make sure that Emilia was safe. Anything else would have to wait. Yet as he drove away with her beside him, his possessiveness resurged. She was his woman, and he didn’t know how he’d ever be able to let her go.

  Chapter 13

  It was late before Emilia nestled into Hawke’s arms and he pulled the covers over them. He drifted to sleep quickly, but she reflected on the weekend they’d spent together. In his strong embrace, she felt safe and loved. She cherished the special days with him.

  Yet Emilia had to manage her expectations. Hawke holding her and loving her didn’t mean it was forever. She had to face that he might not make things permanent; he seemed to have his reasons. But that didn’t prevent her from loving him.

  Emilia wasn’t about to miss any time she had with him and was glad to stay at his place. Hawke swore that he wanted her there, and there was nowhere else she’d rather be. He was her protector, a role he had willingly taken on.

  Hawke was her love. Whatever happened, she would have the intimate moments to remember, and that might have to sustain her. But she refused to think that far ahead. She rested her head in the crook of his neck, breathing in his scent and wanting a forever with him that she likely wouldn’t have.

  Emilia must have fallen into a deep sleep, because she was startled awake by her phone vibrating on the nightstand. She leaned over to see who was calling so early on a Monday morning. Then panic hit her; it was the doctor.